Minotaurs and That Guy

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You would think he'd get the hint the first time.

Tags: dungeons | Dragons | minotaurs

I Anonymous "IO/ la/ loodee)))
Kla, 1250x898, )
I once ran champaign where the minotaurs were invading the lands ofthe free peoples. Think of it like LOTR, but minotaurs
I said fine, but no one can be a minotaur. And it makes sense: if an em in LOTR had marched through the gates of Minas "With,
he' d have been shot, no questions asked. So it would be ridiculous to have a minotaur in the party, even if he was LG or whatever.
Players show up fer the game, and I leek ever their character sheets. THAT GUY has a minotaur. No, I tell him, yeu' re going to have to change it. We
argue fer five minutes, and finally he agrees, poring ever the again. I figure he' s just going to munchkin it up with some weird race Ne never
heard of, but whatever, I' ll fit it in.
Game starts. The and the dwarf are walking down the trail, doing some roleplaying, when they see a shadow in the trees. I ask THAT GUY to
describe his character.
It' s ******** minotaur. I facepalm- The his bow, necks an arrow, Two round is idead minotaur (and aten silver bounty to be
collected).
THAT GUY is pissed, but I say that' s tatally fair. I warned him, after all. So the rest ofthe party meets while he rolls up a new guy. New guy emerges
from the trees.
It' s a ******* minotaur.
instead of arcs- We' d just gotten a new which had a bunch indifferent races in it, and everyone was eager to try it wt-

...

+816

Views:	33471
Favorited:	48
Submitted:	01/04/2016

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+301

#1 - patentoverwriten (01/04/2016) [-]

How do you THAT GUY so hard that you pick the same thing three times when you agreed to change it...

-15

#29 to #1 - vegasstoner (01/05/2016) [-]

maybe he wanted to teach the party to not judge a character by his skin...

+16

#35 to #29 - davidbowiesensei (01/05/2016) [-]

Or his bull horns... or his hooves... or his entirely bull-shaped head.

+19

#42 to #35 - hornyman (01/05/2016) [-]

or his *********

+64

#2 to #1 - peliaosfiendline (01/04/2016) [-]

by having one 10 intelligence and 6 wisdom.

+25

#6 to #2 - kasperfage (01/04/2016) [-]

more like 4 int and 2 wisdom

+31

#8 to #6 - peliaosfiendline (01/04/2016) [-]

no, he had to have at least average intelligence, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to read the handbooks.

+13

#15 to #8 - applescryatnight (01/04/2016) [-]

you dont need average int to read
you need 3 int to be juuust above an animal
so 4 int 2 wis is about right

#25 to #15 - schneidend ONLINE (01/04/2016) [-]

3 Int just lets you be smarter than an animal. Doesn't necessarily allow you to read. A minotaur with 3 Int would only be able to speak Giant or some other equivalent language, and your ability to read would depend on the rule set, possibly class, and the GM. I'd rule that most savage race individuals simply can't read unless they spend skill points on it and have been educated in some way in their backstory.

#38 to #25 - lokiak (01/05/2016) [-]

according to 3.5 rules "A literate character (anyone but a barbarian who has not spent skill points to become literate) can read and write any language she speaks. Each language has an alphabet, though sometimes several spoken languages share a single alphabet. "

#40 to #38 - schneidend ONLINE (01/05/2016) [-]

I'd still probably rule that your average goblin or orc cannot read. Even if their languages have written forms, that doesn't mean elders necessarily teach them. Parenting for races like orcs, goblins, and gnolls is often described as a callous, negligent affair. And, even if they can read, a creature with 3-11 Int is only going to know its base languages. For Minotaurs, that's Giant, not Common.

#41 to #40 - lokiak (01/05/2016) [-]

yeah, your avg goblin/orc/insert most npcs probably shouldn't be able to read or write like us. I like to think though that they can read and write at a first grade level at least

#49 to #15 - peliaosfiendline (01/05/2016) [-]

I think in one of the older rulesets, if you didn't have a high enough int you couldn't speak properly, let alone read. You could still understand words being said, though you might not know what the bigger ones mean.

I feel that would be going too far, but I do think that you'd need average adult intelligence to properly read the kind of stuff they have in player's handbooks. Let's face it, no PHB has ever been written at a first grade reading level.

#13 to #8 - therockofshame ONLINE (01/04/2016) [-]

Or maybe hes just an asshole.

+30

#18 to #1 - velho (01/04/2016) [-]

Follow your dreams, no matter what. Obviously THAT GUY wanted to be minotaur really badly.

+34

#20 to #1 - anon (01/04/2016) [-]

What a MinoTard

+75

#11 - kanadetenshi (01/04/2016) [-]

How to be "That Guy" on D&D

- Make your character some kind of edgy anti-hero who never interacts with the other players
- Constantly argue with the DM about which version we should play
- Be a Power Gamer, no further explanation needed
- Be a Meta Gamer, ditto
- Blame the DM for killing off your character after making a retarded move that everyone told you would kill you
- The guy who interrupts every single dialogue

#46 to #11 - alucardexplain (01/05/2016) [-]

I am a reformed power gamer. Power gaming has a certain satisfaction, but its empty and shallow when compared to enjoying an actual character.
Advice for quitting power gaming:
- Instead of finding the most optimize build, take a fun concept, and make it as good as you can. For example, in dnd, fire damage is widely considered the worst energy damage to type to do, since everything and its dog has resistance to it. This did not stop me from making a pyromantic sorcerer who only used fire magic. He could burn a fire elemental to death.
- Instead of coming up with a 3 page backstory like your rp focused friends, come up with 3 major events that shape how your character acts as a person, and defines who they are. This greatly changes how you view character, and makes them more endearing. They begin to feel like a person instead of a gimmick in a game.
- And finally, even if you still end up with a super amazing, kill everything, solve all problems build, let the other party members perform. Just because you can cast summon monster and send 30 centipedes through dungeon to spring all the traps, doesn't mean you should. Let the rogue use his disable device skills.

#12 to #11 - anon (01/04/2016) [-]

I've never understood the concept of "god modding" and such. I feel like having legitimate flaws, fears, and weaknesses are what make a character interesting.

+35

#21 - Ulmer (01/04/2016) [-]

Makes me think of an evil campaign I ran. I was half-elf dark paladin, and we had a mindflayer with a voidmind, the evil gnome race rogue (I forget their name), one other player I can't remember, and finally a ******* minotaur. Campaign was almost the exact same premise as post's. Everyone in the party could illusion/hide/pass off as normal through good towns, but there was no hiding the goddamn minotaur and his stupid ******* double axe.

So we got a bag of holding with a large enough opening. And we stuffed him inside and told him to murder anything in front of him when it's opened.

We had a pokemon.

I dropped his pokeball on an epic-leveled demonic spider. We one-shotted the ****** .

#28 to #21 - sirfurnace (01/04/2016) [-]

I almost want to do this now. Get some bags of holding/portable holes/barrels and capture enemies in them. Then, all you have to do is unleash your horde of enemies on anything that crosses your path.
Picture semi-related.

+15

#19 - serpens (01/04/2016) [-]

"munchkin it up with some race I've never heard of"
I introduce you too... Anthropomorphic Baleen Whale. Bow before him and his blubbery power.

For only 2 race dice adding to an ECL of 3 Level one is monstrous humanoid, level 2 is monstrous humanoid then level 3 is whatever class you want it to be, i.e wizard or barbarian or w.e you can have +8 Str, +4 Con, +4 Dex, +4 Wis, and +9 Natuaral armor. But you say "that must just be for aquatic campaigns" Wrong. The Baleen Whale breaths air, so with it's anthropomorphized (+ arms and legs) body it can walk the earth, still emitting curious clicks to locate any potential krill that could be hiding in a barn 100 feet away because it keeps the blindsight too!
By far the simplest way to make a completely silly broken character without leaving the commonly used rulebooks (this is from Savage species pages 215 and 217)

"I'll fit it in."

+10

#14 - jaevel ONLINE (01/04/2016) [-]

+14

#17 to #14 - itswarwick (01/04/2016) [-]

For people that are wondering wtf this is about.

The mage in the last pannel buffs "arcane intellect". The whole meaning of this buff is ruined since it nolonger gives intell. But you get the point I guess

#43 to #17 - norkasthethird (01/05/2016) [-]

*arcane brilliance

#52 to #43 - itswarwick (01/05/2016) [-]

When I used to play it was intellect single target and brilliance group buff. Also you can see only the troll got buffed so I thought this comic was made during that time.

+52

#5 - geofalke (01/04/2016) [-]

Click to show spoiler

Why does the "That Guy" always seem to be a minotaur?

because they're bullheaded

but srsly why the **** do they always either pick a minotaur, or some uber edgy ******* rogue?

#39 to #5 - asotil (01/05/2016) [-]

For lols and the Chiron Principle Savage Beast through nature, but more interested in scholarly pursuits over war

Minotaur Monk, Neutral Good, talk to the party about books and philosophy and science. Murder the **** out of everything when absolutely forced into combat. Talk down the BBEG into settling over a game of chess or backgammon

#44 to #39 - schneidend ONLINE (01/05/2016) [-]

> Monk
> Neutral Good

Something's ***** ...

#47 to #44 - asotil (01/05/2016) [-]

Lawful Neutral you knew what I meant

#9 to #5 - kyletr ONLINE (01/04/2016) [-]

I like playing Minotaurs when the chance arises, but that's more because I like my Tauren character in WoW than anything related to stats or bonuses.

Had a Minotaur Warlord in 4e I would charge around the battlefield as which was fun, but beyond that I can't really comment much...

#7 to #5 - Stevethewizard ONLINE (01/04/2016) [-]

Minotaurs get insane boosts to Strength and Constitution at a loss of Charisma. They're a powergamer's go-to race.
As for Rogues, they do it so they can get bonuses to sneaking and sneak-attacks, because sneak-attacks have insane bonuses already and are auto-crits.

Effectively, they do it because they're ******* munchkins.

#10 to #7 - iqequalzero (01/04/2016) [-]

Auto crits? So 4th edition then?

#33 to #10 - iamkagji (01/05/2016) [-]

Automatic hit is what he means, if you build correctly you will pretty much always hit someone's flat-footed armor class. Rogues can become one-hit-wonders in the right more often wrong, though hands. I've built charismatic assassin rogues for intrigue campaigns, where the focus is on the roleplaying rather than actual stats. Didn't mean i couldn't one-shot most targets in the right circumstances, or that even if I couldn't my various poisons wouldn't do the job for me, but it wasn't the focus of the character.

#51 to #33 - iqequalzero (01/05/2016) [-]

Not a whole lot of high dex monsters for the flatfooted to matter against. Alot of the big baddies even have a dex penalty.

#22 to #10 - schneidend ONLINE (01/04/2016) [-]

4E sneak attack is +2d6, 4d6, or 6d6 depending on your tier, IIRC, not an auto-crit.

#32 to #22 - kwag (01/05/2016) [-]

A fun one is in Player's Handbook 2 for 3.5, there's a feat called Telling Blow. Anytime a class with the skirmish or sneak attack ability confirms a critical attack, they get to add their sneak attack or skirmish damage to the roll, even if the sneak attack requirements haven't been met. It's ******* awesome.

#31 - brothergrimm (01/05/2016) [-]

GIF

I ******* hate these kind of people..............

#36 - bdayskeleton (01/05/2016) [-]

Have you ever been so full of ******** that it affected your characters?

#48 - trollypollyz (01/05/2016) [-]

Anybody know a way to play D&D online???

#54 to #48 - astatine (01/07/2016) [-]

Yep, go to roll20.net/ and make an account. Once that's done, go to "Find a Group" (it's really easy to find) and tick the box that says "new players welcome" since even if you've played before, you'll need to learn how the website works. You'll be able to filter the games that show for which version of D&D you want to play too, which I'd definitely recommend doing

Incidentally, I have a friend named polly who is a troll and generally has her name with a "z" in it in her usernames. I didn't see your name until I was nearly done typing this comment and now I'm mildly freaking out

#30 - anon (01/05/2016) [-]

**anonymous used "*roll picture*"**
**anonymous rolled image** >mfw never move just frag THAT GUY's minotaurs all night long, all night

#34 to #30 - schneidend ONLINE (01/05/2016) [-]

Pretty relevant roll, there, anon.

#4 - amuzen ONLINE (01/04/2016) [-]

Eh shouldn't be to hard to work in someone from the otherside of the fence into the party for a race war. Why would you even allow him to introduce his character into the game without knowing who that character is anyways?

#23 to #4 - schneidend ONLINE (01/04/2016) [-]

I think he just assumed the guy wasn't going to remain a minotaur. And, we all know what they say about assumptions.

#24 to #23 - amuzen ONLINE (01/04/2016) [-]

eh honestly it sounds like some pretty lazy DMing where the players character isn't relevant to how they're introduced into the game. oh and by the way you stumble on this guy who is doing whatever for whatever because eh. Who is that guy anyways?

#26 to #24 - schneidend ONLINE (01/04/2016) [-]

It's not really lazy DMing, especially if the DM has a design for how the characters are introduced or how they know each other. And, in most settings, a lot of races hang out in cosmopolitan cities, so a character's race is indeed often unimportant in determining where they are or what they do.

It also may be a more casual game/group, or one where the group expects that their characters to come about purely through roleplay and not from where they arre recruited.