Marriage
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59 comments displayed.
#52 to #45
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zuel (08/12/2015) [-] Here's a link to where you can read part 4 (i couldn't find it in one continuous strip) but i believe it's the end of the series. bato.to/read/_/301105/ii-orc-no-hi_ch4_by_tg-scanlations
#55 to #54
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asotil (08/12/2015) [-] Papi made a Dryad friend a long time ago and forgot about it. They go to collect food and can't tell what is/isn't poisonous, so Suu eats them and spits out the ones that aren't. Poison teaches her to curse.
And Darling Smith and her team come uninvited for dinner and run them out of $2,000 worth of groceries in one sitting, followed by him being told that if he were to just give Smith the receipts the government would have paid for everything, including renovations. She just thought he made that much at his job to be fine He works at a porn comic store
And Darling Smith and her team come uninvited for dinner and run them out of $2,000 worth of groceries in one sitting, followed by him being told that if he were to just give Smith the receipts the government would have paid for everything, including renovations. She just thought he made that much at his job to be fine He works at a porn comic store
#62 to #42
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talonhalfstar (08/13/2015) [-] It's stuff like this that makes me want to play a game of DnD just to see how much dumb crap can happen to one person in a single sitting.
#77 to #62
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cloakndagger (09/10/2015) [-] Man, you'd be surprised. Sometimes the stars just align and funny as **** **** happens. Early on in a campaign I'm in, I rolled to have my skirt chasing rogue try and get the PC summoner to **** and I crit failed. She rolled to resist his charms, and while everyone fully expected my character to be beat the **** out by a higher roll, she crit failed too. And got the lower total.
I crit failed, but my character smashed anyways.
But yeah, it's amusing moments like that that you'll live for. It's those moments that will make it so you never want to stop.
I crit failed, but my character smashed anyways.
But yeah, it's amusing moments like that that you'll live for. It's those moments that will make it so you never want to stop.
#69 to #62
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scandalouszander (08/13/2015) [-] you should. i have only played like 4 times and i have drunkenly ridden a mooing bear into battle while singing sea shanties. it was a good day
#48
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ludly (08/12/2015) [-] I'd smile and send her on her way as I think to myself of the sweet racial traits my half orc grandchild will have.
#14
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bewailedbadger (08/12/2015) [-] The correct answer is "Aww, don't worry sweetie. I killed all the Orcs, remember?"
#7
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thechosentroll (08/12/2015) [-] As long as it's not an elf, she may as well go marry a cave troll.
#73 to #72
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thechosentroll (08/15/2015) [-] Depends on which half of them is elven. It's pretty important, since you have to know if you should cut them in half laterally or horizontally to remove the elf bit.
#40
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ompalomper (08/12/2015) [-] You know what? I can accept that. More or less all DnD settings more or less has the unwritten rule that if a human can reach orgasm in its general direction, he can impregnate it, be it Orc, elf, snake girl, dragon, ent, earth spirit, goblin, or slime.
What I DO want to know is how the **** a gelatinous cube looks when pregnant. I mean Jesus **** , it is semi transparent! Are there some vague fetus shape? Does it have other colors than the mother? I mean, I'm curious. for science.
What I DO want to know is how the **** a gelatinous cube looks when pregnant. I mean Jesus **** , it is semi transparent! Are there some vague fetus shape? Does it have other colors than the mother? I mean, I'm curious. for science.
#51 to #40
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ludly (08/12/2015) [-] Hmmm. If I was dming and the father was human I'd describe it as A human fetus in a floating womb within the gelatinous cube. Creatures with the half slime template typically look like translucent humanoid with a less defined bodily features. So basically even full grown you'll still have translucent skin (tinted a different color based on what type of slime it was)as if you were still in the developing stages of the maternal cycle. You would also be able to stretch and twist a lot more than normally possible and would have acid resistance or even acid immunity.
#56
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Lainge (08/13/2015) [-] "An Orc? That's an interesting idea."
I then proceed to pick out a suitor for my daughter from powerful orc clans who are willing to join as a part of my kingdom.
What?
Did she think she was going to get a say in which orc she was going to marry?
I then get back to trying to put a boy into my useless female only bearing wife.
I then proceed to pick out a suitor for my daughter from powerful orc clans who are willing to join as a part of my kingdom.
What?
Did she think she was going to get a say in which orc she was going to marry?
I then get back to trying to put a boy into my useless female only bearing wife.
#66 to #64
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Lainge (08/13/2015) [-] Well I never said I'd kill her, that would probably cause terrible repercussions with her family.
Either way **** it, next baby that comes out will be a male.
There is a "cheap" elixir you can buy which changes the sex of a person and I'll be damned if I'm dying without an heir.
Either way **** it, next baby that comes out will be a male.
There is a "cheap" elixir you can buy which changes the sex of a person and I'll be damned if I'm dying without an heir.
#53
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flowgo (08/12/2015) [-]
Nowhere does it state you're not an orc yourself.
Maybe she's finally agreed to follow family tradition
Maybe she's finally agreed to follow family tradition
#59
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elcreepo (08/13/2015) [-] Orcs aren't that bad.
Trolls don't even lift
They just kind of use their stomachs to bounce you off your feet
Trolls don't even lift
They just kind of use their stomachs to bounce you off your feet
#24
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khepri (08/12/2015) [-]
Yes, my child. Marry an orc. Create a race of half orcs with my lineage, so I may control them as my personal army, and.. uh.. I dunno, stuff.
#70 to #67
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anon (08/13/2015) [-]
screw the "can't procreate", if she thinks marrying a vampire is a good idea, then that means that I've failed as a father and let her read too many trashy young adult romances that are going to cause her to go in thinking one thing and end up undead when that turns out wrong. I do not want to have to decapitate my own daughter to protect the rest of my family from the curse of undeath!
#75 to #67
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omicronperseieight (08/15/2015) [-] Bards are only like that if you play them like that
