Half-Orc lovin'

Flag

Cakenbacon

Channel: dungeons-n-drags

(See more...)

random

Favorite Comment

✖ Top Next Comment

(Enlarge)

UUUU

Tags: dungeons | Dragons | halforc | seduce | banepost

I‘ Anonymous ( : 23 . 2239935513
File: Kiras by (165 KB, 563x805)
It can if it' s funny.
2 to convince beautiful village cleric to give information en an item they found
2 She refuses. trying to protect them
2 Bard to deceive her. tells her he' s the rageful einer
2 Rolls a it
2 Dwarf cleric threatens the village priestess with excommunication if she deosn' t confess
2 Rolls a fl. just pisses her off
2 Final that he' s rolling a Charisma checkit trate seduce her
2 Rolls dice
2 Natural 20
2 (huff. grizzled. barbarian who can barely speak Common. pushes forward
2 ''I am needing we to tell us what is."
2 He cups hamface in hands that could crush stone but are somehow gentle against her pale skin
2 She looks up at him. her eyes luminous. Is he the ens she' s been waiting for?
2 "Please." he whispers. Wee tell? For maaking happy?"
2 l, can' t.. -" she finds herself murmuring. "' s tee dangerous. They' ll.-- They' d kill Wu. These are great and powerful men." She looks down. suddenly ashamed.
2 cups hamface tenderly. and lifts her chin SC) that their eyes meet
2 "These may be meg men. maybe. But I?
2 He holds her gaze. resolve sobering his features.

...

+1379

Views:	44462
Favorited:	152
Submitted:	12/10/2015

Share On Facebook

+Favorite Subscribe to Cakenbacon Subscribe to dungeons-n-drags

Comments(101):

Leave a comment Refresh Comments Show GIFs

1 2 >

[ 101 comments ]

Anonymous comments allowed.

93 comments displayed.

+110

#6 - dickchupacabra (12/10/2015) [-]

Every time I see a funny/awesome story about half-orc barbarians I'm reminded of Ozzmarr, the greatest of them all.

#76 to #6 - anon (12/11/2015) [-]

These are fantastic. Goddamn.

+26

#40 to #6 - thesinful (12/10/2015) [-]

Implying Los Tiburon isn't the greatest half-orc ever.

+58

#7 to #6 - dickchupacabra (12/10/2015) [-]

+57

#8 to #7 - dickchupacabra (12/10/2015) [-]

+17

#18 to #8 - anon (12/10/2015) [-]

>implying Thragmar the barbarian isn't best story

+13

#19 to #18 - anon (12/10/2015) [-]

part 2

#96 to #19 - lollypopalopicus ONLINE (12/17/2015) [-]

God damn that was good.

#42 to #19 - littlewhit (12/10/2015) [-]

thats a great story, cheers to the DM who wrote the scenario for that

#54 to #18 - dickchupacabra (12/10/2015) [-]

Thragmarr was fantastic, but we're talking half-orcs here, not human barbarians.

#26 to #8 - magicmatchsticks (12/10/2015) [-]

I've been searching for the finale of this story for a long, long time...

thank you.

#14 to #8 - fuzzyballs (12/10/2015) [-]

**** bro
I need more D&D stories like this

+551

#2 - AmusableBman (12/10/2015) [-]

For you

+21

#47 to #2 - matamune (12/10/2015) [-]

Nobody gets this quote. He's not answering "You're a big guy" He's continuing "It would be extremely painful"
But who even cares about my sperging on this site anymore

+67

#50 to #47 - jewpiter (12/10/2015) [-]

[CIA Removes the hood]
Bane: "No one cared who I was until I put on the mask."
CIA: "If I pull that off, would you die?"
Bane: "It would be extremely painful."
CIA : "You're a big guy!"
Bane: "For you. "

Was being wrong part of your plan?

+24

#52 to #50 - matamune (12/10/2015) [-]

I'm not. Bane is saying that pulling off the mask would be painful for the CIA guy

+12

#53 to #52 - jewpiter (12/10/2015) [-]

Ah, now I see. You are proposing an opinion that Bane's counter to "If I pull that off, would you die?" is "It would be extremely painful for you." and that CIA interjects mid sentence "-you're a big guy!" which gives the appearance that the "for you" is in reply to the interjection.

An interesting theory, and the replies in the scene are quick enough that it could be true, but given that Bane never really has much trouble speaking I think that "It would be extremely painful." is an entire thought and with "For you" he implies that in a physical confrontation CIA would be no match for him. Bane then proves this to be true by breaking his bonds, assaulting CIA, and crashing the plane with no survivors.

+13

#67 to #53 - threecharacters (12/10/2015) [-]

i.imgur.com/ZRA76Af.png
matamune homestuckxplain
basically all of you are right, he answered it on a reddit AMA

#70 to #67 - jewpiter (12/10/2015) [-]

Thank you for sharing this with us. So the director meant it to be "I will hurt you if you take the mask off" but the actor meant it to be "I am physically superior to you." I can finally be at peace.

#84 to #67 - rundas (12/11/2015) [-]

So, Bane himself is a lowkey baneposter
So then, if they got Aidan Gillen on board an entire baneposting movie would be possible. An extended confrontation between CIA and Bane, two big guys crashing each others' planes.

#90 to #84 - threecharacters (12/11/2015) [-]

that was their master plan

#57 to #53 - novus (12/10/2015) [-]

I always understood it as Bane saying it would be extremely painful for the CIA agent. Otherwise how does the dialogue make sense? Bane would be basically admitting to the guy that he has a critical weakness, his mask, and that he's only big compared to the CIA agent. It just makes more sense to me that Bane was making a cruel joke about what would happen to the guy rather than admitting it would hurt him to remove his mask.

-2

#58 to #57 - jewpiter (12/10/2015) [-]

Bane knows he is going to kill CIA so it doesn't matter if he reveals a "weakness" which is pretty apparent just by looking at him.

"You're a big guy" is CIA goading Bane to try to get more information, "For you" is Bane reversing the jab back at CIA. It's top tier banter.

#61 to #58 - novus (12/10/2015) [-]

Well I hate to say, but neither one of our opinions is top-tier banter really... just two people toying with each other because they think they have the upper hand. It's a well-written scene and it works either way, so I'm not too worried about who's right, though I am curious which way the writers meant it.

#56 to #53 - homestuckxplain (12/10/2015) [-]

Dude, it 100% is a continuation of the "It would be extremely painful" comment, not in reply to the "You're a big guy" comment. The "For you" is to correct CIA-man, who wrongly assumed that pulling off the mask would be painful for Bane. Bane is correcting him with the "For You" comment to let him know how bad an idea it is to pull of the mask.

Basically, matamune is correct.

-1

#59 to #56 - jewpiter (12/10/2015) [-]

>>#58

#62 to #59 - homestuckxplain (12/10/2015) [-]

"You're a big guy"
"Yes, but only in relation to you. Of course, this implies that you are tiny, and I am average size, likely due to the fact that movie producers couldn't hire anyone taller for this part."

Top Tier Banter according to Jewpiter. It's so blindingly obvious that "For You" is a continuation of the "It would be extremely painful" comment that you'd have to be Dare-Devil levels of blind to miss it.

-1

#63 to #62 - jewpiter (12/10/2015) [-]

First off, rood.

Second, that's obviously not what I meant. CIA agents train for years and I'm sure that CIA can handle himself in a fight, and has before. They wouldn't send some push over to deal with an international criminal of Bane's caliber. And an actor's size has nothing to do with their character's size. Later in the move we see Bane as a similar height to Batman.

Third, you have offered no further interpretation of your opinion on what Bane's 4U means other than saying that it's "blindingly obvious". I told you what I thought it meant and you just reply with a dimwitted attack. You may be right, but please don't resort to such low level debate tactics.

#64 to #63 - homestuckxplain (12/10/2015) [-]

Both matamune and I have stated reasons why we think the UUUU is a continuation of the painful comment, citing how it makes sense as an interrupted sentence, a sentiment shared by everyone else who has posted here. Only you seem to think it refers to "Yes, I am bigger than you."

Pic related is a ******* bane hehe to my existence. For some reason, this kind of 'trolling' always pisses me off to no end, and this is the vibe I am getting from you at this point.

#68 to #64 - jewpiter (12/10/2015) [-]

"I'm not. Bane is saying that pulling off the mask would be painful for the CIA guy"
"Dude, it 100% is a continuation"
"The "For you" is to correct CIA-man, who wrongly assumed that pulling off the mask would be painful for Bane"

All you and the other guy do is restate you point as if by saying it again you are providing detail to your original argument. It's not, it's just rephrasing the same thing.

Bane does not threaten people. He tells them his exact plans because he has confidence that he is in control and his plan will succeed. Like I said earlier, "For you" is just him foreshadowing how he will beat up CIA and hijack the plane. I can not think of one time when he threatens anyone, and whenever he reveals his plans to someone, it's pretty straightforward.

#72 to #68 - homestuckxplain (12/10/2015) [-]

i.imgur.com/ZRA76Af.png
Ok thanks to threecharecters, it appears we are all right.

It was written in the script as a direct continuation of the painful comment, as I and others have been arguing, but the actor himself thought and intoned it as being a reply to the big guy line. Which explains why it sounds so odd.

As to YOUR point, about us re-hashing our points endlessly. We do this because that IS the argument. What kind of evidence can we provide? It sounds right, it makes sense, everyone else agrees its a continuation. This isn't Math, where we can add some stuff together for a definitive answer.

All you do is repeat on how your perception of Bane has him replying more to the big guy comment, because he "doesn't threaten people" never-mind the threats he made to Batman, the city, etc Your last part, about the foreshadowing, makes no sense whatsoever so I won't even touch that.

Basically, matamune said something, you said he was wrong, but in a shocking twist, you were actually wrong and he was right!

Was that part of your plan?

#73 to #68 - matamune (12/10/2015) [-]

All right let me indulge you then.
1. There is no reason for bane to add the 4U to the big guy comment because that would be a lot like saying that everything is relative or saying that he's really not a big buy but that CIA is a small guy. Bane would not diminish him self in such a way as he's portrayed as quite confident and even cocky at times.
2. Bane is not one who bothers with pain all that much, so him quipping about the fact that the pain would be far worse for the CIA guy gives his character an almost masochistic feel that translates well to him being more than willing to go to any lengths, even his own certain demise, in order to prove his ideological point.

And finally I am glad that you value an objective discussion over a classic internet shouting match.

#91 to #53 - YllekNayr ONLINE (12/11/2015) [-]

It's not really a theory
It's pretty ******* obvious that he means it would be painful for the CIA guy, not for himself
I always figured it was a joke to deliberately misinterpret the line

#77 to #53 - anon (12/11/2015) [-]

spoiler alert wtf man
now idk if batman wins or not/.

#55 to #52 - rarityrarityrarity (12/10/2015) [-]

While you're correct don't you ever call him CIA guy. He's just CIA.

#89 to #52 - sockprague ONLINE (12/11/2015) [-]

It's how it's written, but Tom Hardy admitted in an AMA that he delivered the line to be an insult.

#66 to #50 - Denver (12/10/2015) [-]

You would have got the point across easier if you post it like this:

[CIA Removes the hood]
Bane: "No one cared who I was until I put on the mask."
CIA: "If I pull that off, would you die?"
Bane: "It would be extremely painful -
CIA : "You're a big guy!"
Bane: - for you. "

#69 to #66 - jewpiter (12/10/2015) [-]

But that's not how it is. "It would be extremely painful" and "For you" are two separate sentences.

#71 to #69 - Denver (12/10/2015) [-]

I know that this is still wrong, but it helps bridge the gap for people not understanding that Bane is not in fact a big guy for Petyr CIAlish but rather removing the mask will hurt him more than it would hurt Bane.

#85 to #47 - rundas (12/11/2015) [-]

the awkward ambiguity of the dialogue is the entire reason it's memetic. That's the ******* joke

#94 to #47 - nyynjato (12/11/2015) [-]

I understand the quote just fine, and I also enjoy the nuance that it can be interpreted either way to give clarity and definition to banes character in the movie.

+17

#60 to #2 - americansnoopernsa (12/10/2015) [-]

+18

#65 to #2 - luderix (12/10/2015) [-]

+21

#74 to #2 - baronvonhuckle (12/10/2015) [-]

+143

#12 to #2 - homestuckxplain (12/10/2015) [-]

"Tell me about the Half-Orc. Why does he love the Cleric?"
"..."
"Lotta loyalty for a low-level Barbarian!"
"Or perhaps he's wondering why you would Touch of Death a character before kicking him out of the game?"
"At least you can talk. Who are you!?"
"It doesn't matter who we are. What matters are our stats... Nobody cared who I was until I seduced the Cleric..."
"If I kill this NPC, will you quit?"
"It will be extremely painful."
"You've got high CON."
"For you."

+15

#13 to #12 - AmusableBman (12/10/2015) [-]

+40

#16 - anygoodnames (12/10/2015) [-]

>Be Minotaur fighter
>Trigger word?
>Cow
>How bad of a trigger? All things become hostile, even friendly party.
>Get massive roll bonuses
>Prostitute gets mad
>Calls Minotaur a cow
>Kills her instantly
>Kills own party
>mfw