Elemental Cults: Part 1

This is our Tuesday campaign. The group consists of a female Sorcerer & two Bards (one from each Bard school. One male & one female) all three are sibling characters played by the same person, female Elf range-based Fighter, male Fire Genasi Fighter, & male Tiefling Wizard.

>Start in a small town that has a whore house that also sells tourist-grade nic-nacs because our DM ****** up on what a word in the book meant, but we all rolled with it
>Mayor asks us to investigate the undead that seem to be roaming around
>Wizard heads out ahead of everyone the day before
>Gets into a fight with one skeleton, but wins easily
>Party reaches a small cave with bandits outside holding a starved bear in a cage
>Wizard uses Minor Illusion to trick the bandits into thinking there is a fire so they run
>Fighter smashes the lock to set the bear free only for the bear to turn & fight in hopes of food
>Wizard tries same illusion, but the bear does not fear the "fire"
>After a few rounds, the Fighter cleaves the bear in half from pelvis to skull with his Halberd
>Enter the cave to find it is just a small dead end with some spare change for loot inside
>Party decides to ambush the returning bandits
>Bandits return & become angry that their bear is in two on the ground right before dying from a swift ambush
>Mayor now needs us to investigate more into the undead in another nearby cave
>Minor & easy fight with some undead to get into the cave
>Wizard wants to set a bear trap in a door way to catch something that may come alive & follow us
> ***** up & it snaps on his arm
>Find a room with strange zombies
>Three zombies, one in a dress, one in a bear costume, & one in a jester costume dance about in this room
>Using Minor Illusion, the party ********* their way past these zombies in equally crazy disguises
>Fighter zombie in a gimp suit, range Fighter as zombie gothic lolita, Wizard zombie in a panda costume, & the siblings were a zombie pimp & two zombie hoes
>General exploring & looting
>Find a crack head Necromancer
>After a long fight, we tie him up to try & get answers
>Hardly any information gathered before he teleports across the room & tries to run
>Gets killed before getting anywhere
>Fighter begins his robe collection with the Necromancer's black robe
>Range Fighter finds a floating, glowing orb & names it Navi
>Once back at the town we begin our last investigation of strange things around the town
>Before leaving, the Fighter is poisoned from his morning cereal
This Fighter eats so much cereal that it will get more ridiculous as I tell more stories
>Fighter keeps eating without giving a crap
>Party decides to test the milk to see if that was poisonous
>Takes a waterskin full to local farm to give to a chicken
>Chicken dies
>Let the Inn keeper know about the poisoned milk & leave
>Find a secret entrance bellow a stone shop
>Find a child under some rocks guarded by some big dudes
We shall call the kid Billy
>Fight & win
>Billy says he is under these stones as punishment from his dad & that this is normal to him
>Fighters want to help Billy, but if he leaves he will be punished by his father again
>Wizard uses Sleep on Billy & the male Fighter binds, gags, & hoists Billy over his shoulder
>Find a man guarding a door claiming that no one can enter while the sacred stones move
>Claims they only move when no one is looking
>Use Sleep on him & slit his throat
>Enter the room to find an earth cult member in the room
>Party attempts to fight & protect Billy while the cultist runs causing a cave in behind him
>Dig out the cave in & follow
>Path leads to an area just outside of town
>Earth cultist was waiting & begins to fight
>Fighter sets Billy down behind him to better protect him
>Earth cultist while fighting lands a critical fail, misses the Fighter & kills Billy, crushing his head
>Kill cultist & leave Billy for the towns folk
>Wake up to a load scream
>Someone found Billy
>Leave town to our next adventure
Poor Billy

Other stories: /channel/dungeons-n-drags/Dragon+cult+part+1/ewTfLrj/
/channel/dungeons-n-drags/Dnd+rekt/viRfLiv/