A God's Pimp Hand

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May the gods guide my hand upside this bitch's head.

I Anonymous ) 16: . 2:; -3292314?
Shunning pet campaign that I' been working for quite same time
ofthe huge plot elements are the gods, and howthee interact with the world
sh buddy decides to bring in sne of his friends into the game
who is nsw known as **** head, decides he' s going to be "That guy" and become a Death Knight
by Death Knight I mean he' s going to twists villages and slaughter everybody if he doesn' t get his sacrificial maiden he can skull ****** death
he actually did that snce, before I told to knock it the **** off
Essentually get tired of him Rping the brooding, and angsty death knight nobody understands
I have gods who interact with the in game world, all the ******* time
Head has his character decide he' s going to commit to the genocide of all Elves, this was the moment
Iffier he needlessly killed five m SC) souls, I spring my plan
god jodeath her self, the sne the Death Knight worshipped SC) ******* much, cames down to the mortal plane, and slaps his ******* ****
had it all written down, everything that she ******* told him, *********** pages , and shaming
Whouldn' t even let **** Head get a word in, that' s how sick slit I was
Baisically, what she said was could be summarized as Wes stupid ******* idiot, just because I am the patron jodeath, doesn' t mean that you should gs out, ******* massacring everybody you *******
see"
gave him sne warning, the next time he needlessly killed an innocent, she was going to tear out his soul, and personally escort it to the pits , with hope of redemption
Sentire table was ******* silent, it was SC) beautiful
part was, she had every reason to get pissed, and this wasn' t the first time the gods had personally talked to the players, but they' never been SC) pissed at them before
battery's **** Head learned his lesson, and took game semi seriously

...

+170

Views:	11642
Favorited:	11
Submitted:	11/04/2015

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+36

#2 - jaevel (11/04/2015) [-]

+15

#1 - peezle (11/04/2015) [-]

NEVER be That guy.

#3 - zionsype (11/04/2015) [-]

I used an online D&D type thing for a while, and I got this one player who joined that became obsessed with my table. We'll call him Ragna.
Basically, his only goal was to make himself as unfair as possible. Literally 90% of his characters had a "Trained Combatant" trait that he constantly tried to use for EVERYTHING. Agility? Trained Combatant. Strength? Trained Combatant. Defense? Trained Combatant. Fighting? Trained Combatant.
On top of that, he'd give himself starting items like "Suit: Protection from gases Protection from bullets and swords (Can Block) Light weight titanium Sword" literally ripped straight from his char sheet
On top of this, every character was the edgiest ******* thing ever.
1st character, Charles: Born into mercenary family, trained like dog with other kidnapped kids, escapes, always wears gas mask for no reason.
2nd character, Zephyr: One of the kidnapped kids in merc camp, part of teh s0per cool "REAPER SQUAD" that all wear gas masks.
3rd character, Zain: Literally just the protag of Tokyo Ghoul, but turned edgy. Constantly tries to murder and eat player and important characters, then complains that no one likes his character.
That's just the tip of the ice berg. On top of that, anytime I'd throw in an enemy way too tough for one of his characters to teach him a lesson, he'd basically shut down, give 5 word action responses, have his character just stop talking, and afterwards act like it never happened.
One of his characters (Eden) was basically injured cause he kept throwing himself into a fight club cage, then once I stopped letting him go in over and over, he had Eden sit in the corner, laughing "manically" and repeat "COME ON PUSSIES, JUST KILL ME ALREADY!" and then complained when I had someone kill him.
I have plenty more stories if any are interested.

-1

#4 to #3 - xxhadesflamesxx (11/04/2015) [-]

That just means you were in a ****** group with a ****** GM

#5 to #4 - zionsype (11/04/2015) [-]

I was the GM.

#6 to #5 - xxhadesflamesxx (11/04/2015) [-]

Then next time screen players better, kick them if they do edgy **** like that, and don't be afraid to end the game if all of them are ****

#7 to #6 - zionsype (11/04/2015) [-]

The thing is, while having an edgy background is annoying and/or unoriginal, it's nothing to kick or ban for.
I've only ever banned 2 people from the table.

#11 to #7 - kyman (11/04/2015) [-]

I want to hear the storit's behind the two bans. Like how bad did it get for you to enforce that?

#12 to #11 - kyman (11/04/2015) [-]

'Stories'

#14 to #12 - zionsype (11/04/2015) [-]

Basically, this guy named Wooly was constantly a prick to everyone. He had the most time logged into the site, and thought that meant he could tell everyone how to run things. He left, saying something like my table was **** and he'd never want to play here anyway, so I banned him, since he "didn't wanna play here anyway." Shortly after I banned him from my table, he got banned from the site entirely.
As for the other one, I did an experiment to see if a table idea I had would work. Basically, the idea of the table is that using your power in creative ways would boost the rolls, or in some cases be automatic success.
I told 6 players "You can have ANY power you want, and face ANY type of enemy you want. Your only goal is to do something interesting with your power."
2 out of the 6 did it, and I decided the table was a bad idea because people just weren't creative enough.
Shortly after, one of the 2 who did something interesting, told me "You gave them NO WAY to do something interesting!" which was ******* stupid because A. I gave them literally anything they wanted and B. 2 people succeeded, so clear there WAS a way. He kept repeating his retarded point over and over like a 2 year old to the point that I had to ban him.

#21 to #14 - kloudianorici (11/05/2015) [-]

Sounds like a really interesting table, what kinds of things did the two do with their powers?

#22 to #21 - zionsype (11/05/2015) [-]

One guy basically had a "Respawn" power where he had this thing implanted in his chest, pressing it would make a "Save."

If he were to die, he would "Respawn" at his last "Save" point. What he did was make a save point, then position his enemy into it, got killed, and Respawned, basically ripping the guy apart by spawning inside him

The other guy did something with water, but I can't remember.

#23 to #22 - kloudianorici (11/05/2015) [-]

I like to think up different powers, some of them can be really cool though.
One guy I thought up was able to transfer pain, essentially he could rip the pain out of other people and transfer it to himself, then transfer it to a third person. Think combat medic, you get shot, he takes your pain, and then throws it back at the enemy. 'Course you're still shot but now the enemy feels your pain.

#25 to #22 - mypieguy (11/10/2015) [-]

well now i'm interested, any name for the site and table?

#28 to #25 - zionsype (11/17/2015) [-]

fabletop

#29 to #28 - mypieguy (11/18/2015) [-]

whats your tables called if you are still doing it?

#30 to #29 - zionsype (11/18/2015) [-]

I aint hosted in like 4 months

#31 to #30 - mypieguy (11/18/2015) [-]

gotcha

#9 to #7 - xxhadesflamesxx (11/04/2015) [-]

Well it's your game, play with them if you want
next time I'd try to find better players or at least try to make your current group better

You gotta stop the power gaming **** though, that ruins games for players too

#8 to #3 - infiniteinsanity (11/04/2015) [-]

Tell us more

#13 to #8 - zionsype (11/04/2015) [-]

For a while I stopped hosting cause I was busy with school 'n **** . I came back and wanted to just play rather than host. I found out that all my players had started playing on another on of my player's table, and it was basically a clone of mine. I thought that was pretty neat, so I joined with a character that wasn't strong, smart, or fast, but was extremely durable. As soon as I joined, Ragna's character "Sin" literally went ******* crazy, literally begging the strong NPC to let him fight me. He said no over and over, and eventually, while my character (Rain) was in an arena with a character my level, Sin at 3 levels higher literally jumps the barricade with no roll to attack me. Luckily, he got **** rolls for a while and looked like a bitch, then went into "Raged Mode" (not even joking) and another character his level jumped down to tell him to get his **** together. He then proceeded to beat that guy by using his ******** "Wise Soldier" which now boosted perception and wisdom as well as everything Trained Combatant did, plus he was for some reason permitted to have a "Rage Mode" that took away 1 HP and gave him stronger rolls. On top of that, he had a "Parasite" that had tendrils, which he used for both ranged and melee attacks.
After he beat the guy helping me, he literally tried to kill his character for no ******* reason by eating him, until the GM basically power gamed the **** out of him, teleporting him away with not roll and putting him to sleep.
Afterwards, Sin's Wise Combatant, Rage Mode, and Parasite were basically striped away, and he stopped playing there.

#26 to #13 - megaflak (11/17/2015) [-]

sorry if I come out of nowhere, but what site is this?

#27 to #26 - zionsype (11/17/2015) [-]

fabletop

#15 - xoyv (11/05/2015) [-]

i've always wanted to play a game of D&D

but honestly i'm kind of **** at RP

#17 to #15 - dwarfboy (11/05/2015) [-]

Start off small, my first character was basically an extension of myself. I got comfortable acting out in an RP setting and started branching out. No one starts out perfectly.

#18 to #15 - fireairshot (11/05/2015) [-]

The best advice one can give it to just go out and try it. There's nothing wrong with acting silly in a group of people who put on silly voices and roll funny dice for fun. Roleplaying isn't some natural gift, it comes to everyone in time, some just start better than others. Knuckle down and roll some dice friend. You'll find your place.

If you're interested, I run and play a ton of games online using Skype and a website called Roll20 over at roll20.net . It's a virtual tabletop and dice roller with tons of features and a wonderful, welcoming community. I'd highly advise you to start there.

If you want to get yourself into a game sometime send me a PM on FJ and we can share Skype details and I'll walk you through the basics.

#16 to #15 - Cakenbacon [OP](11/05/2015) [-]

Everyone starts somewhere.

#20 - anonslayer (11/05/2015) [-]

I was GMing a homegrown campaign with special rules, one of the things I do is that at the start of an adventure, each player gets to invent a semi-op item to compliment their character (I approve it) then we go. So heres the story

One player's item was a shield that could absorb an enemies attack instead of blocking and then he could roll to reflect the attack back at someone

So the campaign went on and the effect was well used, reflecting basic attacks and whatnot. Eventually I wanted to challenge the players and had them come upon a mountain pass that had a generic gatekeeper enemy who was made of stone and reduced damage on all attacks except melee. So the magical guys were out of the fight except for buffing melee or grabbing aggro. Eventually the gatekeeper swung and was blocked by the magical shield, now he has to roll to see if he can reflect. With an attack like that he had to get like a 17+ with modifiers. Of course he got a ******* 19 which Insta KOed the boss like it was nothing

-_-

#19 - thereisaguy (11/05/2015) [-]

Someone was in the best of /tg/ thread a day or two back.

#10 - mayoroftownsville ONLINE (11/04/2015) [-]

Idk, four pages of lame **** like that? Sounds like autism.

#24 to #10 - dwarfboy (11/06/2015) [-]

It's all in how you word it. I had a ten minute rant comparing the local wizard's lust for power to a dick measuring contest. In explicit detail. Everyone laughed.

I also made a reference to a much more powerful entity threatening to drown the universe in their ballsweat