I know you all are tired of seeing this **** after two and a half days, but I like it, and I have things I'd like to share because why the **** not and it bugs me.
1. I sneeze when I think about sex. Always twice. Only twice.
2. I have been sneaking out of my house past midnight virtually every single night since I was 14 -- to take walks and listen to my music and occasionally sit on the swingsets in the parks near my house (badass amirite?)
3. I have almost been caught out at night by the cops twice. Only twice. The first time when I was 14 because I hid behind a tree. By accident.
4. To get back at my bitch roommate who made my life hell for my freshman year I stole six shirts from her and a pair of sandals (another long story)
5. My dad probably doesn't know that I know but I know that he watches porn and I've walked in on him masturbating like eighty million times. I've known since I was like, 6 years old
6. I'm more terrified of job hunting and going in to get/turn in applications than I am of dying
7. My mom sent an email to my grandpa, also to me by accident and warned me not to read it. I read it anyway. She described me as stupid for not hating my dad after the divorce and for basing my opinion of him on my own experiences not my secondary experience through her memory
8. At 19 years old, my dad owes me over three thousand dollars for one month of rent, a brand new set of washing machines, and several other things I don't remember. He only asked for the washing machines, he essentially stole the rest of the money from me
9. My evil bitch roommate came back to the dorm in a drunken state once and tried to sit in her laundry hamper (which broke) while admitting to me that the reason she was depressed was because she had had an abortion before school started. I promised not to tell anyone (and I won't tell anyone, that could HURT her that is. You all don't even know her)
10. When I was a junior in highschool, I was riding my bike home from school with my mom's guitar from highschool on my back. She lent it to me for guitar class, it was over twice my age. I swerved to avoid stupid freshman students who were in my way and hit the edge of the guitar on a yield sign, putting a 1" hole in one corner of it. I kept it hidden in my closet at my dad's house for the next year because I was too afraid to admit I broke her guitar, and my dad bought me a new one all my own