Home Original Content Funny Pictures Funny GIFs YouTube Funny Text Funny Movies Channels Search

hide menu

My biggest secret

+1829
Views: 58084
Favorited: 24
Submitted: 07/12/2012
Share On Facebook
Add to favorites Subscribe to mezzjuc Subscribe to dirty-secrets E-mail to friend submit to reddit
Share on facebook Share on StumbleUpon Share on Tumblr Share on Google Plus E-mail to friend

Comments(71):

[ 71 comments ]

Show All Replies Show Shortcuts
Show:   Top Rated Controversial Best Lowest Rated Newest Per page:
Order:
Anonymous commenting is allowed
#11 - funnyjunkelite (07/12/2012) [+] (10 replies)
do you have diabetes or something, how dos she not notice the saltiness of the piss
#13 to #11 - mezzjuc (07/12/2012) [-]
No idea, she was around the age of 6 at the time, at that age you put everything in your mouth no matter what it is.   
   
And how do you know what piss tastes like anyway?
No idea, she was around the age of 6 at the time, at that age you put everything in your mouth no matter what it is.

And how do you know what piss tastes like anyway?
#23 - funnysheetbro (07/13/2012) [+] (1 reply)
>Read this post
>Realize I have a water bottle full of piss under my bed from a month ago because I was too lazy to get up and use the toilet.
>Check under bed
>Not there
>Not
>There

.....
#46 - anonymous (07/13/2012) [-]
be 17

Drop grandma at friends house
She says how handsome I am, like all old woman say to young men
Think nothing of it
Asks if I want some food
Have something to eat
About to go, only really went to drop grandma off
Grandmas gone to bathroom
About to say i'm going
She says before you go, could a handsome man do her one last favour
say sure
Says to me "Could you just quickly feed my ***** your meat"
Literally have no idea what to say,...freaking out...
Silence for a while
Still have no idea what to do
she then says "Fine, i'll just have to get your meat myself then"
She walks towards me
Her hand reaches out waist height
Say "Get away from me you ****** bitch" and slap her hand away
She gets scared
Her cat walks in
Realise whats just happened and run away and drive off

**** old people calling cats ******
#25 - lordsothe (07/13/2012) [+] (2 replies)
When I was 12 I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. I flogged the one-eyed snake, I skinned my sausage. I made the bald men cry into the turtle stew, which I believe my sister ate. At least I hope she did.
#21 - aesguitar ONLINE (07/13/2012) [-]
lucky bitch
#70 - skonlyn (07/13/2012) [-]
I am Melinda
#69 - BerryLicious (07/13/2012) [-]
I don't know why people are complaining. Sure, there's the odd crap one which doesn't deserve the thumbs it gets, but, on the whole, reading about fellow user's hilarious misdeeds is comedy gold to me, and a hell of a lot funnier than bendingtime and half the OC.
#17 - roastedcatboners (07/13/2012) [-]
WHY ARE MOST OF THESE STORIES ABOUT ******* OR ******* ON SOMETHING?
#73 - demonbunny (07/13/2012) [-]
When I was younger, I could never be arsed to go to the toilet to piss, so I just used to piss in a glass and pour it down the drain. One day, whilst I was just finishing my piss in a glass, I heard my mother coming into the kitchen. Panicking, I didn't know what to do, so I hid it in the fridge. She opened the fridge, saw it and asked what it was. Without thinking, I said "It's nothing. It's just apple juice." She looked ********** and said "We don't have any apple juice." She then picked it up, and without smelling it drank a little bit, before spitting it out. She then started shouting at me "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? THIS ISN'T APPLE JUICE!" I desperately tried to convince her it was, until she asked me to prove it.

Long story short, I drank a pint of my slightly chilled piss.
>inb4 Bear Grylls
#64 - chamillitary ONLINE (07/13/2012) [-]
#29 - stereotypicalasian (07/13/2012) [-]
>Melinda's face when she finds out
#76 - mstatebulldog (07/13/2012) [-]
**mstatebulldog rolled a random image posted in comment #6576464 at FJ Pony Thread **
User avatar #74 - Keidis (07/13/2012) [+] (1 reply)
Well **** it since everyone else is admitting...

I had a friend named katy who used to come over
I really liked her
we hung out a lot
one day she left her purse in my room when she goes to the bathroom
take out her purfume
she can't find it
convince her she lost it in my house
I came in it a little once every day and mixed it around
finally "find" it and give it to her
she used it every day we hung out.

#57 - bitchplzzz (07/13/2012) [-]
JARATE
#15 - DoggyBouncer (07/13/2012) [-]
My best friend once pissed in his teachers Gatorade bottle, she sat down drank it, spit it out everywhere and everyone laughed, he never got in trouble and I still piss myself laughing to this day.
#40 - alucardshellhound (07/13/2012) [+] (1 reply)
**alucardshellhound rolled a random image posted in comment #301 at So True **
#39 - Duim (07/13/2012) [-]
#28 - xzillerationer (07/13/2012) [+] (2 replies)
TG: but
TG: the seal on the bottle is unbroken
TG: are you suggesting someone put piss in my apple juice at the factory
#79 to #28 - anonymous (07/14/2012) [-]
This is the work of egbert himself
#1 - norwegiandude ONLINE (07/12/2012) [+] (8 replies)
If that's your biggest secret... Then you don't gave too many secrets...
User avatar #4 to #3 - sparkyoneonetwo (07/12/2012) [-]
till she cuts my balls off in my sleep or some **** ... I know some crazy bitches that would do that...
0
#78 - tonythetiger has deleted their comment [-]
[ 71 comments ]
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)