I met a girl when I was 12 years old. She was 14 going on 15. She was my sisters friend. She let me use her pink Gameboy advance to play Golden Sun. I would follow her around and hang out at her house every day. She ended up becoming one of my best friends.
Skip forward 5 years.
We became lovers. She turned out to be bipolar, with extreme episodes of mania. One moment she'd be perfectly fine, the next she was slamming something on the floor. I put up with her tantrums and abuse because I felt she was the only one for me and I would not find another. I didn't want to be forever alone.
One night, hanging out in her room with a few of her female friends, listening to music. Her mom leaves out for the night to the casino. I'm alone in a room with 4 girls. One of her friends brings out a bottle of vodka. We all start taking shots. At this point we're all fucked up. They forced me to take 8 shots in less than an hours time. One of the girls though it would be funny to jump on my lap and tackle me onto the bed. I lose my balance and my head hits the wall, instant KO.
Wake up and find my clothes removed and one of the girls on top of me. 17 year old drunk teenager being raped by 4 women. I should have thought this was fucking awesome, but I was a terrified virgin. They beg me not to say anything, threaten to claim I molested them if I said anything. Few weeks later, girlfriend finds out she's pregnant and breaks the news to me. I freak out. Mental breakdown, don't want to be a teenage father. My dad finds out, tries to press charges of stat rape against her. Doesn't know about the other 3 women. Ex girlfriend has a miscarriage. Father eventually drops the charges.
5 years later. I'm 22 years old, going to be 23 in 2 months. I haven't had a relationship since then. Alone actually isn't so bad.
Since I'm here typing this all out I should probably just go out and say this as well. I apologize to my toilet when I feel a bowel movement about to produce a massive shitstorm.
Books: expectation 
