>Be me, about a month ago
>Extremely sexually submissive
>Girlfriend is complete opposite 7/10, very aggressive
>Decides she wants strap-on sex
>No point in arguing, she always gets what she wants
>End up tied up, bent over a footstool (she's kinky like that)
>Extremely nervous as she walks in
>Holy ****, it's huge
>She gets behind me
>She commences *******
>goes on for several minutes
>end up shooting load without even touching penis
>girlfriend pulls out
>walks around to my front
>whispers in my ear, asks if I liked it
>she whispers "now I just want one more thing"
>Get's super close to me and says "I need about tree fiddy"
>realize my girlfriend is an 8 story tall crustacean from the paleazoic era
>"Dammit loch ness monster, you ain't gettin no tree fiddy!"