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Views: 109769
Favorited: 237
Submitted: 07/12/2012
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Comments(571):

[ 571 comments ]

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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#29 - stevestevestevetwo (07/13/2012) [+] (13 replies)
>Be in 8th grade science class
>Learning about sperm and egg
>Think about porn
>Realize my rocket is getting hard
>try to stop it
>have a half chub boner
>Realize im wearing sweatpants
>Panic and try to wasteband half-boner
>try to wasteband boner to high and it comes out a little
>girl in class sees boner and yells "OH GOD" in a digusted fasion
>says in class says I have a tiny penis
>get remembered as the kid with the tiny penis
>it was only a half boner
>feelsbadman.jpg
+127
#13 - SpidaChris **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (4 replies)
#204 - ShamanMaster (07/13/2012) [+] (1 reply)
>Be me, 16, fapping in room
>Someone knocks on door
>ABORT ABORT ABORT
>Dad walks in right before i finish pulling pants up completely
>He saw nothing, but it was obvious what i was doing
>I just wait there until he finally opens his mouth...
>"So... what were you doing?"
>I say "looking at porn"
>"Ok then" he closes door
>I wait a bit
>Dad opens door with a smirk " can i see?"
>"No"
>He closes door with a chuckle and leaves
> ******* dad...always after my porn


<------MFW After that
#206 - spudge (07/13/2012) [+] (14 replies)
>Me, about 12
>have absolute ripper of a wank
>laying naked on my bed naked, cum everywhere
>dad walks next to my door
>"dinner is ready"
> ****************************
>please don't come in
>Have 6 heart attacks at once
>he didn't come in
>from then i had the hearing of a ******* spastic rabbit from then on


Account name related.

#53 - goobdol (07/13/2012) [+] (8 replies)
This story is false... you don't need your hand to be wet to have a good fap.
#5 - stripeygreenhat (07/12/2012) [+] (3 replies)
Wait, why the hell would your mom call your dad in?
#225 - ainsley (07/13/2012) [+] (3 replies)
> About a year ago
> Never been caught watching porn
> Finish
> Close the browser
> Go to bathroom
> Hear mom walk in
> ************************
> Wait I closed the browser
> By the beard of zeus that was close
> Walk out
> She's standing by the computer pissed
> ************* LiveJasmine advertisement
#77 - spacefield (07/13/2012) [+] (5 replies)
>fap session
>about to release glory
>don't feel like releasing in my hand
>no tissue ****
>no paper towel ****
>no nearby clothing ****
>can't hold it in
>grab a piece of paper from printer
>MFW paper cut on side of my dick
User avatar #2 - Chanceola (07/12/2012) [-]
that is the funniest thing I have ever seen on this site
#22 - thriteenkid ONLINE (07/13/2012) [-]
Imagine what you could be doing if you lied to the social worker
Imagine what you could be doing if you lied to the social worker
#18 - anonymous (07/13/2012) [+] (4 replies)
i wish i had a penis
#23 to #20 - anonymous (07/13/2012) [-]
I'll give you one.
#362 - sefyu (07/13/2012) [+] (4 replies)
**sefyu rolled a random image posted in comment #6864289 at FJ Pony Thread ** What your mom thought when she saw it
User avatar #181 - kusipaa (07/13/2012) [-]
Why do parents get upset when they find their kids pleasuring themselves? I'd rather my kid beat his meat than go out and get some slut pregnant.
#137 - nycdood (07/13/2012) [-]
I swear to God, my mother caught me mid fap and tried to lecture me why I shouldn't fap.

What the **** is wrong with mothers?!

You can't stop the fap from happening. No matter what you do, it shall cum
#224 - kennymcgoverick (07/13/2012) [-]
&gt;Be 13 (this was a while ago)   
&gt;Too damn lazy to put my pronz onto a flashdrive   
&gt;make a folder inside another folder (We need to go deeper) and keep it in that   
&gt; after seeing a movie with some questionable scenes Mom searches computer and finds it   
&gt;Dad talks about it in the car, and that I might get in trouble.   
&gt;Tell Dad it was virus, he finds this interesting since apparently macs (a gift and I couldn't afford to buy myself a computer) Can't get viruses    
&gt;he believes it   
&gt;Gets an IT guy in to &quot;fix it&quot; whilst I'm at school   
&gt;IT guy tells them some 						********					 to &quot;fix it&quot;, likely knowing that It wasn't a virus   
&gt;Delete ALL THE porn.   
I don't know who you are but you're awesome... Thanks bro
>Be 13 (this was a while ago)
>Too damn lazy to put my pronz onto a flashdrive
>make a folder inside another folder (We need to go deeper) and keep it in that
> after seeing a movie with some questionable scenes Mom searches computer and finds it
>Dad talks about it in the car, and that I might get in trouble.
>Tell Dad it was virus, he finds this interesting since apparently macs (a gift and I couldn't afford to buy myself a computer) Can't get viruses
>he believes it
>Gets an IT guy in to "fix it" whilst I'm at school
>IT guy tells them some ******** to "fix it", likely knowing that It wasn't a virus
>Delete ALL THE porn.
I don't know who you are but you're awesome... Thanks bro
User avatar #59 - CrownedClown (07/13/2012) [+] (7 replies)
Why do people use vaseline to masturbate? I always do it with my hands dry and it works out fine :l.
#261 - kodex (07/13/2012) [+] (4 replies)
Am I the only person that never used or uses lube?
#389 - dustypengwin (07/13/2012) [-]
Whats on FJ today?   
   
...   
   
Text...
Whats on FJ today?

...

Text...
#308 - pedobearseviltwin (07/13/2012) [+] (5 replies)
>be 16
>Watching porn
>Have two tabs of porn open
>I hear the door in the hallway open up, knew dad or mum was coming.
>pull pants uo
>Try closing tabs
>Pc freezes, firefox asks if a want to close all tabs
>Video of girl fingering is still playing when dad walks in
>Dad looks at screen and runs back into the living room laughing.
>mrw
that was also the last time I used firefox
#618 - zapgod (07/13/2012) [+] (3 replies)
> i once fingered my 12 year old cousin
> she jerked me off too
>got caught and blamed it on sleepwalking (since i have a history of doing stuff in my sleep)
>they bought it but they can't look at me the same
> cousin scared for life, will probably grow up to be a stripper

MFW
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