Dildos

The delivery man

Pfft.
Ordering dildos..

I drove that truck for six years, bringing giant plastic cocks to fat bitches all over the country. They fired my ass when they caught me in the Warehouse with a bunch of hillbillies...Its not what you think, lets just say we gave "Cockfighting" a new meaning, placed bets on fights to first blood...Or we did until the whole thing ended in a triple rape-homicide. In retrospect, giving a two foot long dildo to a guy named "Big Rapin' Jim" wasn't the best idea. But hey, at least he was a cuddler, and that's just...so hard to find these days.

Special delivery for OP!

the delivery driver

Used for short-distance deliveries.

It's really awkward ordering sex toys, because I tend to order a lot of things from the internet, and I always get really excited about it and immediately show my mom, because getting mail is awesome. So she always knows what it is when I don't want to show her.

When she gets the package

<----wut

I think OP is in this situation and he wants us to provide a solution to his situation

I work for a shipping company and I have most likely handled a few dildos in the packages I move.

You are all dildos

maybe it'll come toy packaged!!

Kill the relative.