>Playing DayZ standalone
>sort of fresh spawn with friend, I have a Mosin and he has a splitting axe
>Spawned a bit east of Elektro
>Sprinting down the train tracks when distant shouting can be heard
>Stop, turn around, and see a man coming sprinting at us, rifle on his back, and in some decent gear
>Since I'm so friendly (and that I have no ammo) I don't KOS, but wait to see what he says
>In perfect Hank Hill impression the strange man says, "HAVE YOU SEEN BOBBY? I CAN'T FIND HIM ANYWHERE."
>Laugh and tell him no, then ask if he wants to team with us, he says still in his Hank Hill impression, "DANG IT BOBBY!" and runs off into the opposite direction
>Continue heading towards elektro, passing a little factory area
>See 3 men with assault rifles and **** shoot a butt naked, running man in the head in the not so far distance
>They see me and my friend
>"STOP RIGHT THERE. GET ON YOUR KNEES, HANDS ON YOUR HEAD"
>I know this routine all too well at this point
>they made us strip and then cuff us, then walked us to a tiny warehouse, and then make us lie down again
>One of the most geared men of the 3 say, "HAVE YOU SEEN A MAN THAT TALKS LIKE HANK HILL?"
>"Yes, i have why?"
>"We're hunting him. He killed two of our friends while shouting something about his son and then ran off"
>"Oh ****, yeah i saw him on the train tracks just a little bit of here"
>The man then force feeds me and my friend, but not rotten food to my surprise.
>Sets down my friends confiscated splitting axe in the middle of us, and says "We want one of you to help us find him, but don't need two more people grouped with us, so we're going to have... tryouts."
>"First one to break from their cuffs, pick up the axe, and kill the other will join us"
>They all back up near the warehouse door and spectate as me and my friend try to mash spacebar faster than the other and break free.
>I'm out before my friend
>Grab axe, friend still on his knees trying to get out
>"Sorry, survival of the fittest"
>Bring axe down onto his head, killing him instantly (or knocking him unconscious idk)
>They give me my clothes, mosin, some food and ammo, tell me to bring them to the place i last saw him
>as soon as we step outside the warehouse, we're all gunned down right in the front, none of us even seeing who did it
>Last thing I hear before respawning was, "I sell propane and propane accessories"