Beta Cringe God 1. I posted this earlier, and got a message telling me to post on the cringe channel for better traffic on it. So deleted and am now reposting h
Home Original Content Funny Pictures Funny GIFs YouTube Funny Text Funny Movies Channels Search

hide menu

Beta Cringe God 1

I posted this earlier, and got a message telling me to post on the cringe channel for better traffic on it. So deleted and am now reposting here. Same deal, if you like, thumb up for more stories.

All. right F], I got some stories for you. I have known this family for quite some time
now. All I can really say is this has to be THE WORST FAMILY DYNAMIC I have ever seen.
The 4 that consist of this family are the Father, who I will call "Bad Dad" or for short.
Plastic Mom" or PM. "Spoiled Daughter" or SD. Last but certainly not least, the son,
Beta Cringe God" or BCG for short. You' ll see why each individual is dubbed as such
over time, assuming you all want this to continue to the next story.
First, let' s do a story of the star of most of these, BCG. Before I begin, let me describe
BCG for you. Just as the name sounds, there is something very wrong with this kid' s
social ability, or lack thereof. I used to pity him and try to help him get out of his beta
life style; however, there is a point when you can only say, "you sir are a lost cause." I
don' t blame BCG for the way he is. He was unlucky enough to have the WORST
POSSIBLE PARENTS in existence. Did I mention, they' re cousins? His parents treat him
lower than **** . They constantly put him down, insult him, belittle him, and compare
him to others. His parents have this, "We are the best in the world" mindset and in all
reality, were never meant to be parents. The result of his upbringing, made him overly
horny, a perv, socially inept, and overall gullible. Throughout these stories, you may find
yourself pitying BCG, and wanting to help him. So I' ll go ahead and say this now. I tried
everything. He is a LOST CAUSE.
Now, story time.
I call this, "The Movies"
A few years back, I decided to take BCG and a few others to the movies. It was my way
of trying to help him get accustom to social settings. He was about 15 at the time.
Once we get to the movies, we realize we have time to kill and decide to go to the mall
a few streets down and walk around.
Upon getting to the mall, a couple of the guys and BCG began to talk.
One of the guys asked him if he' d ever had a girlfriend or if he ever tried to get one.
He felt a bit embarrassed and said "no."
They began to tease and poke fun at him to which he pretty much got quiet.
Feelsbad. jpg
I decide to be nice and help him out (With an attempt NOT to sound like I' m sucking my
own dick. I sort of had a rep for being pretty good with women).
I told him to "watch, and do what I do"
He nods.
I look around and spot a 7. . Around 16/ 17 years old (I was 17 at the time,
take care of myself, so I' d say maybe an 8 or 9) and walked up to her.
Began to talk for a bit, Laphed things up and walked away with her number in about 5
minutes.
Guys we were witch were blown away and began to poke more fun at BCG, saying, "you
could never do that."
Needless to say, he wanted to prove them wrong.
I began to tell him not to worry, it' s easier than it looks.
He decides to give it a try and goes for a shabby 5.
Less than a minute and we hear, "Eww" and she leaves quickly.
He walks back depressed and said, "didn' t work"
He' s a 5. 5, 6 on a good day, so I asked, "What happened?"
He told me he told her what they said in movies. (He is obsessed with medieval
movies/ books/ games)
Wtf? What they say in movies?
I ask him to tell me what he said.
He told me he walked up to her and said, "Will you bear my children?"
All the guys began to laugh and tease him.
I told them to lay off a bit and told him to "try something a little more modern. Try
winking or something to let them know you' re interested"
Gestures are a bit lame, but meh, he needed the basics.
I told him to "watch again"
Spot an easy 10. Blonde, blue eyes, hair down to her back.
Unlike the 7, this one I actually tried.
Walked up to her with full Alpha mode engaged.
This would be my white whale (Moby Dick Reference for you readers out there).
I go up to her and begin to charm her.
Busting out every little move I got.
Had her laughing and into it in about 5 minutes.
She agrees to come with me to the movie and "hang" later.
jpg
Suddenly she had this really weird look on her face and says, "There' s this really weird
kid looking at us and licking his lips"
I turn around to see BCG not 10 feet away making this god awful sound with his tongue,
trying to be sexy.
Dewdrops.
I turn back to her and pretend I don' t know him.
A second later, he comes up right next to me and says, "hay Anon, who' s the babe?"
He then began to thrust in her direction while still licking his lips and moaning.
Face went pale.
She has this horrified look on her face and looks to me then back to him.
She flips him off and walks away.
He looks at me for approval only to see me shake my head at him, not even knowing
what to say.
He thinks that what he did 'was not good enough' and, (I **** you not Fl), he goes after
her.
She notices he' s following and tries to speed up.
All the while, he' s licking his lips, brushes up against her and begins to thrust into her
leg.
She turns around mad as hell and smacks him in the face then walks away.
He flat out begins to cry in the mall.
People around are staring.
Guys we were with are cracking up.
If I face palmed any harder, my hand would go through my head.
Blonde girl rolls her eyes, calls him pathetic and walks away.
We leave.
Go to the movies.
Crying a bit in the theater.
No one says a word the whole time.
If you guys like this story, thumb it for more. I got a whole bunch of these about him
and his family.
...
+2059
Views: 73807
Favorited: 277
Submitted: 03/31/2014
Share On Facebook
Add to favorites Subscribe to magillagurilla Subscribe to cringe-channel E-mail to friend submit to reddit
Share image on facebook Share on StumbleUpon Share on Tumblr Share on Pinterest Share on Google Plus E-mail to friend

Comments(365):

[ 365 comments ]

Show All Replies Show Shortcuts
Show:   Top Rated Controversial Best Lowest Rated Newest Per page:
Order:
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#44 - wardylol (03/31/2014) [+] (28 replies)
>No explanation how OP knows BCG or his family
>No explanation why apparently 17 year old alpha OP and friends would hang out with 15 year old omega BCG
>OP casts himself as 8 or 9/10 god of the alphas

>OP is clearly BCG
#20 - areandara (03/31/2014) [+] (1 reply)
BCG's fw
BCG's fw
User avatar #60 - bloodofthedragon (03/31/2014) [+] (17 replies)
>be at community college
>Studying for exam in a few hours
>see kid 5/10
>camo cargo pants and call of duty shirt with glasses
>sits at table with blonde easily 8/10
>at least he has good tastes
>she was reading and he immediately asked if she was doing anything
>politely said no
>continues to go on about cod nazi zombies
>girl completely lost but goes on with it not to be rude
>guy talks about how he got to wave 17 once
>starts going on about guns in real life and how the m16 is more accurate then ak47
>girl humoring him and continues saying wow, cool, nice
>girl finally sick of his ****
>classic check cellphone and says she got to go
>he gets up and while she is gathering her things he had his arms open ready for an embrace
>she looks at him and gives the awkwardist hug i have ever seen
>as soon as she left he immediately looked for his next female victim

I never actually believed this people actually existed until I saw one with my own eyes. I have still seen him around, lurking, waiting for a women to be by herself.
#8 - manbearpiglet ONLINE (03/31/2014) [+] (17 replies)
I thought I was bad with women...
I thought I was bad with women...
#25 - xxxsonic fanxxx (03/31/2014) [+] (5 replies)
Definitely cringe worthy and I look forward to more, but for ****** sake OP, Moby Dick is a classic and doesn't need blatant explained referencing.
User avatar #27 to #25 - drtrousersnake (03/31/2014) [-]
if i heard white whale when referring to a woman, what i would imagine is a morbidly obese woman
User avatar #14 - sneleoparden (03/31/2014) [-]
wow, just wow
#42 - samxdaxman (03/31/2014) [+] (1 reply)
This isn't just omega.. This is... Advanced Omega.
#29 - guiguito (03/31/2014) [-]
These kind of stories are like seeing woman breastfeed, you want to look away but wants to know what will happen next, and i wanna know.
These kind of stories are like seeing woman breastfeed, you want to look away but wants to know what will happen next, and i wanna know.
#28 - goodguygary (03/31/2014) [+] (1 reply)
lord know this is why i'm afraid of social interaction. rather be totally ignored than to become a BCG
User avatar #16 - xxfalconxx (03/31/2014) [-]
you just earned a subscriber. Keep it up
#65 - bulanu (03/31/2014) [-]
**bulanu rolled image**
#138 - A Pickle (03/31/2014) [+] (3 replies)
The guy HAS to be mentally ill in some sort of way. Nobody would 						****					 up THAT much when talking to a girl.
The guy HAS to be mentally ill in some sort of way. Nobody would **** up THAT much when talking to a girl.
#132 - bloorajah (03/31/2014) [-]
one of these 2 things needs to erase the memory of this.
one of these 2 things needs to erase the memory of this.
#139 - leftbehind (03/31/2014) [+] (1 reply)
The dudes you were with are straight up assholes, but goddammit! How can anybody be that ******* stupid?!?

MFW this story
#26 - kinggucciswagman (03/31/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#155 - gibroner ONLINE (03/31/2014) [-]
that hurt me to read, more please!
#146 - anonyivious (03/31/2014) [+] (8 replies)
Do you genuinely expect people to read all of this?
Do you genuinely expect people to read all of this?
#101 - komandantmirkoo ONLINE (03/31/2014) [-]
my face during this whole story.
#18 - scant (03/31/2014) [-]
God knows I'm not the most socially adept guy on the planet... but damn.

Just damn.
#223 - headlesspoodle (04/01/2014) [-]
how i imagine him following her
how i imagine him following her
[ 365 comments ]
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)