this is what athiests actually believe. I am posting this to you in extreme agony. This is no copy pasta, this isn't a stupid post trying to get attention, this
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this is what athiests actually believe

I am posting this to you in extreme agony. This is no copy pasta, this isn't a stupid post trying to get attention, this is a serious cry for help. I have been faithful to you, funnyjunk, for many years, and now I hope you can help me.
I was trying to shave my genitals today, to make them a little more comfortable for summer. I had no razor, so I was using some titanium scissors. Needless to say, I missed and accidentally removed a sizable chunk from the head of my PENIS. I passed out at first, but I woke up an hour or so later, covered in blood. I was able to stop the bleeding...but I wanted to put it back on and hope it would all be better.... I used super glue. It's holdong on there, but theres still blood, and a really bad line around the chunk, and it hurts oh god so bad... I have no medical insurance so I can't go to the doctor, and I live by myself so I can't get anyone else to help.
I need someone on funnyjunk who knows something about medical stuff. What can I do? I don't know, if I leave it on there with the glue will it heal itself back on? Help me please, it hurts a lot. I've already taken 4 extra strength tylenol and its not helping...

Tags: hi
an became so angry at an idea they don' t believe in,
Ahab's next, are you going in attack small children Far
believing in Santa Claus?
I Pickles Spa ma yes,
Like . , q . 57 minutes ago
Jaime Breathe We never understand why athiests
...
+827
Views: 34196
Favorited: 38
Submitted: 06/18/2013
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Comments(186):

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#1 - nightgoddess **User deleted account** (06/18/2013) [+] (5 replies)
I'm sorry for your penial loss
I'm sorry for your penial loss
#2 to #1 - themanmuncher (06/18/2013) [-]
yeah its been hard
#13 - alanflindt (06/18/2013) [+] (5 replies)
"Look, maybe us Mormons do believe in crazy stories that make absolutely no sense, and maybe Joseph Smith did make it all up, but I have a great life, and a great family, and I have the Book of Mormon to thank for that. The truth is, I don't care if Joseph Smith made it all up, because what the church teaches now is loving your family, being nice and helping people. And even though people in this town might think that's stupid, I still choose to believe in it. All I ever did was try to be your friend, Stan, but you're so high and mighty you couldn't look past my religion and just be my friend back. You've got a lot of growing up to do, buddy. Suck my balls."
#27 - zaphodcoolfrood (06/18/2013) [-]
mfw the description
+5
#4 - astrozombies **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (41 replies)
User avatar #6 to #4 - lodisboeg (06/18/2013) [-]
I'm still gonna reserve the right to call anyones beliefes fucking stupid, unless they can back that shit up. Just cause it is a belief does not mean it deserve respect.
#45 - CrackPipeWillie (06/18/2013) [-]
MFW the description
MFW the description
#81 - anonymous (06/19/2013) [+] (5 replies)
Holocaust jokes= OK
9/11 jokes= OK
religion bashing= YOU HATEFUL FUCKING CUNTS!

The logic Funnyjunk uses
User avatar #99 to #81 - frenzysalem (06/19/2013) [-]
you're missing the point of why so many people hate it. when people post holocaust or 9/11 jokes they're not being serious. most of the atheists on this website actually mean what they're saying when the call christians dumb fucks for believing in something. i don't like them mainly because they start arguments and are annoying. and RARELY funny at all.
#69 - dbBlues ONLINE (06/18/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Stopped at titanium scissors.
Stopped at titanium scissors.
#129 - mikemeiers (06/19/2013) [+] (2 replies)
while everyone is yelling at each other about religion, i'm just siting here thinking "what the fuck is that guys name".
#52 - infinitereaper (06/18/2013) [-]
Glue was not the solution, nigga you needed emergency stitches and a hospital visit.    
   
Fuck the bill   
   
Rest in peace... pieces my nigga.
Glue was not the solution, nigga you needed emergency stitches and a hospital visit.

Fuck the bill

Rest in peace... pieces my nigga.
#76 - nighthawxx (06/19/2013) [-]
>description
User avatar #18 - caelinnis (06/18/2013) [+] (20 replies)
Yes. In fact I'm going to use children in my war against anyone who believes in santa clause. The majority of children in my empire will be forced to go to war, whether they like it or not. We will also slay the families of these santa believers, and rape their women and pillage their towns.

Oh wait, that's just the Children's Crusade, turns out CHRISTIANS were the ones sending children to kill people who disagreed with them, NOT ATHIESTS! Ha, silly me.
User avatar #23 to #18 - Ruspanic (06/18/2013) [-]
You're absolutely right, we should persecute everyone responsible.

Oh wait, they all died hundreds of years ago.
#139 - bluelight (06/19/2013) [+] (1 reply)
God created everything and nothing created god.God is all knowing so he knows nothing created him. God is an Atheist
#110 - gibroner ONLINE (06/19/2013) [-]
that description!!!!!!
#104 - alucord (06/19/2013) [-]
SWEET JESUS GET THAT DESCRIPTION AWAY FROM ME
SWEET JESUS GET THAT DESCRIPTION AWAY FROM ME
#21 - royoten (06/18/2013) [+] (1 reply)
#137 - chexlemeneux (06/19/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#75 - mutzaki (06/19/2013) [-]
Maybe if an adult believed in Santa and was otherwise mentally healthy.
Maybe if an adult believed in Santa and was otherwise mentally healthy.
#67 - luckyshotdk (06/18/2013) [-]
Dont shave your balls like that bro...
Dont shave your balls like that bro...
#53 - roxasbaby (06/18/2013) [-]
God that description
God that description
#3 - emppilaf (06/18/2013) [-]
Surprised Christians let their kids believe in the Easter bunny..
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