Nipples. How do creationists even explain male ?.
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Nipples

How do creationists even explain male ******* ?

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Views: 24316
Favorited: 16
Submitted: 02/09/2013
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#52 - orangebudd (02/10/2013) [-]
I 						*******					 love it when I'm heavily messing around with a girl and then she start sucking my 						*******					.    
   
EATTHAT
I ******* love it when I'm heavily messing around with a girl and then she start sucking my ******* .

EATTHAT
User avatar #50 - lordmacflurri ONLINE (02/10/2013) [-]
Maybe he made ******* and when he made women he could finally give them a use.
User avatar #47 - ImFrumAija (02/10/2013) [-]
Creates man in his image.
Gives some of them down syndrome.
User avatar #59 to #47 - rollertoaster (02/19/2013) [-]
Case in point: God was part downy.
0
#60 to #59 - satanisgod **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #42 - thedarkestrogue (02/10/2013) [-]
**thedarkestrogue watches as the comments turn a joke about ******* into a religious debate.**
User avatar #40 - kieranbaker (02/10/2013) [-]
can anyone provide proof of creationism anyways
#43 to #40 - ichbinlecher (02/10/2013) [-]
No, but I can demonstrate its logical possibility.  See Christians believe in an omnipotent God, that means that he can do any thing within the bounds of logic.  Since there is no contradictory statement in saying "things began to exist" an omnipotent being could do this.   
   
That said, the general stance of the church is that God created the world, but we really don't know how, as the beginning of Genesis is allegorical and meant as a polemic against surrounding beliefs.  By general, I mean historical - i.e. the Catholic church believed in evolution before Darwin came along (and so did most of the world).
No, but I can demonstrate its logical possibility. See Christians believe in an omnipotent God, that means that he can do any thing within the bounds of logic. Since there is no contradictory statement in saying "things began to exist" an omnipotent being could do this.

That said, the general stance of the church is that God created the world, but we really don't know how, as the beginning of Genesis is allegorical and meant as a polemic against surrounding beliefs. By general, I mean historical - i.e. the Catholic church believed in evolution before Darwin came along (and so did most of the world).
User avatar #44 to #43 - kieranbaker (02/10/2013) [-]
Personally I believe God created all of existence but I don't think it was done in 6 days, it felt like six days to God because he is eternal but for Humans it was more like 13.4 billion years.
#46 to #44 - ichbinlecher (02/10/2013) [-]
There is a name for that belief, I can't remember what it was called - eon/day theory maybe? Another nifty one is from Stanghammer (I think I spelled that right), he believes that the first verse is creation of existence, and then the rest of Genesis 1 and 2 is about preparing the promised land for Israel, and then creating the first ancestors of Israel, Adam and Eve. So basically, God is tera-forming Eden for his chosen people. I simply say God did it, but I don't know how.
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#34 - mookiez has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #31 - andnowducks (02/10/2013) [-]
On Ice age Sid asks why do men have ******* , before men were ******* about.
User avatar #32 to #31 - stallwallwriter (02/10/2013) [-]
There were men in the ice age movies. Remember, the whole first movie was about them trying to return a human baby?
User avatar #33 to #32 - andnowducks (02/10/2013) [-]
Oh, because on the latest one when Sid's ranting about something, he says "Why do men have ******* ?"
#28 - duudegladiator (02/10/2013) [-]
Man had 						*******					, only after Adam and Eve.    
   
ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!!
Man had ******* , only after Adam and Eve.

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!!
User avatar #49 to #28 - shaunr (02/10/2013) [-]
still doesnt make sense, as men don't need ******* and they can only actually be used under extreme circumstances because male breasts are generally underdeveloped, explaining why men's breasts are smaller than females. generally.
#35 to #28 - mookiez (02/10/2013) [-]
This image has expired
You better back it up.
#41 to #35 - duudegladiator (02/10/2013) [-]
Think about it. The Church did not have any advanced thoughts like us, so when the Bible says "So God made adam out of clay" that would be the only time that humans had no distinct physical appearances such as 						*******					.    
   
After Adam and Eve committed sin and began having babies, their babies were born with 						*******					. And the Church was formed Centuries (probably) after Adam and Eve, so by that logic, they would never understand the thoughts of Adam without 						*******					, because they drew/painted the human structure to go along with the society of the time.
Think about it. The Church did not have any advanced thoughts like us, so when the Bible says "So God made adam out of clay" that would be the only time that humans had no distinct physical appearances such as ******* .

After Adam and Eve committed sin and began having babies, their babies were born with ******* . And the Church was formed Centuries (probably) after Adam and Eve, so by that logic, they would never understand the thoughts of Adam without ******* , because they drew/painted the human structure to go along with the society of the time.
User avatar #58 to #41 - mookiez (02/11/2013) [-]
The irony of this is, I'm christian. But I have my own theory's about it. I'm a christian scientist, so I'm very open minded. But I said back it up with hypnotoad because I had a better version. Was not implying a religious debate.
+8
#21 - whyisthissohard **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #29 to #21 - farn (02/10/2013) [-]
yhat's right jesus could have been a pygmee
User avatar #18 - monkeysniper (02/10/2013) [-]
Actually men have ******* because when everyone is a fetus your on track to becoming a female, certain hormones are added to make you become male, which explains why women have a ******** and why men have *******
#36 to #18 - uzzwick (02/10/2013) [-]
Oh my ******* god I don't wanna think about it plese no
User avatar #23 to #18 - dezider **User deleted account** (02/10/2013) [-]
someone didn't get a joke
#19 to #18 - draxdiesel (02/10/2013) [-]
yes we know, what this is saying is...you know what just forget it.
yes we know, what this is saying is...you know what just forget it.
#16 - anonymous (02/10/2013) [-]
In pictures, Adam and Eve both have belly buttons. Figure it out
User avatar #53 to #16 - Crusader (02/10/2013) [-]
Those are paintings, and if there was no suitable model, the artist often used himself and all the artists and models at that time had belly buttons.
User avatar #22 to #16 - wasbeert (02/10/2013) [-]
They didn't have camera's back then
#27 to #22 - anonymous (02/10/2013) [-]
Drawings, art work, still classed as pictures
#30 to #27 - anonymous (02/10/2013) [-]
no they are not and y9u sir are a retard
#15 - tlrloolrlt (02/10/2013) [-]
I can't believe it still hasn't been patched. Creators of universes don't care about their inhabitants any more, It's all about size nowadays.
User avatar #9 - thepyras (02/10/2013) [-]
Why are ******* strictly a female trait? Maybe female ******* were fashioned after male ******* , which already would have existed and also were/are capable of producing milk. What a stupid argument.
User avatar #10 to #9 - shaunr (02/10/2013) [-]
the argument here is why the hell would God give man ******* if they aren't going to benefit himself in anyway? the same can be said about his ******** as well. why the hell would he need a penis for? God hasn't thought about Eve yet... so do you see how the story is falling apart? it's funny how people can say that the bible makes perfect sense. it doesn't. from the very beginning it's ******* ridiculous.

And don't try to argue that God gave Adam a sex organ and ******* after he made Eve, like "Oh, Adam, I forgot. Here's a penis so you can impregnate Eve later on, oh and after you make some babies you may want to help her feed them, so here's some ******* and a minuscule amount of breast tissue. And sorry about that by the way. You may have to work at it before you can produce milk. Again, sorry!"

Ridiculous, no?
#20 to #10 - anonymous (02/10/2013) [-]
Prior to Adam and Eve sinning they were going to live forever, and did not need to reproduce in the first place. Perhaps he gave them reproductive organs after they were kicked out of the garden?

Maybe Adam never had ******* but when Eve had children both the boys and girls did.

Just some ideas.
User avatar #11 to #10 - thepyras (02/10/2013) [-]
Why would you have to think about both parts at once? We didn't make shovels and dirt, but rather we made shovels to fit our needs to move dirt. Also, other animals had already been made and had the capability to reproduce, so Adam had the basic reproductive apparatus of the other male animals. To say that God had not thought of Eve yet doesn't mean that there were no plans for a female human counterpart, especially since every other species had one.
User avatar #12 to #11 - shaunr (02/10/2013) [-]
You're suggesting that God built Eve's reproductive system around Adam...that makes no ******* sense at all, and then you compare it to shovels and dirt, as if a reproductive system is that simple. And at the moment he created adam, he did not even hint at making a female. and don't you think god would have mentioned the reproductive system, and addressed how it may not make sense to make one without even thinking of making a use for it, AND THERE WASNT EVEN A HINT FOR A USE OF IT, unless you count the animals he created before Adam, which god doesn't even mention as he creates Adam. don't you think god would mention how he crafted Adam's reproductive system based on the other animals, and planned to complete adam by giving him a female counterpart? seems like a biiiiiiig gap left by god, who you may consider the most intelligent being of the universe.

and then when he even hinted at making eve, it wasn't for reproducing. it was because he thought "It is not good for the man to be alone." uhh yeah.. but what about his dick, god!? you sort of left him hanging anyway. he's got this thing down there that's probably confusing the hell out of him, especially when he sees the other animals going at it. he's probably thinking, "I have no idea what this thing is for! or do I?"
And then just imagine god, "Here's a helper adam. now you may notice you both look very different, but you'll figure out what you're supposed to do with those differences later on! I mean, I could tell you, and explain your underdeveloped breasts which are basically useless, Adam, as well as explain Eve's ****** which I probably should have put more thought into seeing that Eve leaks a bit. but anyway, you guys can go off and figure things out! just stay away from the ******* tree which seems like some metaphorical ******** , but it's not. and you'll actually die. that's all the advice I have for you now! run along!"

but the reproductive system isn't even finished there! God makes a seemingly major change after they eat from the tree. You know how she's given painful childbirth as punishment right? so I suppose Eve's hips were really ******* large at the start, and I guess she was really gapped or some **** as well. too bad God didn't tell them about sex because not only would they have not eaten from the tree but Adam would be having a good ******* time, as well as Eve who would not ever have to worry about pain from giving birth because the child would probably just fall right out.

So the story of Adam and Eve is either ******** or God is a ******* ******* who is confusing and careless as hell, or he plagiarized the work of another god from another universe which explains how little god knows of the reproductive system, except for when they eat from the tree, and he suddenly knows all about it because he knows how to make women's childbirth painful.

or is there another explanation you'd like to throw in. maybe "or you're interpreting everything wrong and god never mentioned the reproductive system in the first place because it wasn't important yet!" and if you say that then I will have no other arguments, because why argue with something like that?
#39 to #12 - anonymous (02/10/2013) [-]
Who touched you when you were little?
#17 to #12 - thewilder (02/10/2013) [-]
*slow clap for you*
#5 - pandataco (02/09/2013) [-]
adam didn't have ******* .
User avatar #6 to #5 - shaunr (02/09/2013) [-]
uhhhh source?
User avatar #14 to #6 - icefried (02/10/2013) [-]
Source that he had ******* ?
(Also one of the silliest things i've ever written).
#7 to #6 - pandataco (02/09/2013) [-]
just spit ballin here....
User avatar #8 to #7 - shaunr (02/09/2013) [-]
ok...
#1 - Azz (02/09/2013) [-]
Who cares. I came here for laughs, not a religion debate.
User avatar #2 to #1 - thewalruss (02/09/2013) [-]
Then laugh and don't start an argument.
#3 to #2 - Azz (02/09/2013) [-]
It's hard to laugh when this isn't funny.
User avatar #4 to #3 - thewalruss (02/09/2013) [-]
You see, you just started an argument... but I'm hungry and I'm not going to say a thing until my pizza is here.
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