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The real struggle

 
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The real struggle. Got this off of facebook. Which means there's a good chance that this has been here a good number of times. Now, weird description time. The

Got this off of facebook. Which means there's a good chance that this has been here a good number of times.
Now, weird description time.

The mixture of Mr. Hanky and penis pudding in my poop chute created the delicious rectal stew that he was so fond of. By now, my vaginal bacon buffet was dripping like a leaky tap. Hours of slamming like this would leave any girl's vertical garden looking like a motorway pileup, and I was no different! Some girls are happy just to stimulate the genitals through phalangetic motion when they're alone, but I can't get off without having an antique doorknob in my slime hole and a number of chillies up my poo pipe. He pitched a giant sewer trout on my top bollocks just so he could gobble it up like a hungry hungry hippo.

Tags: animu | and | mango
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Views: 62879
Favorited: 115
Submitted: 04/11/2014
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+113
#81 - dehnoobshow [OP](04/11/2014) [+] (19 replies)
stickied by dehnoobshow
Hey gentlemen. I woke up and found myself in the top 60, Which technically means frontpage When you're at FJ Home page, you can find this content without having to click on the second page. This is a first for me, and I'd like to thank you all, but with such... Controversial content. I think I need to clarify: 1) Boners can be disreputable if you get a random one in some areas. Example, you work in a daycare. And a random boner appears. No one's gonna ask questions and next thing you know cops are on to you. While if a woman gets her period, she'll generally know what's coming up, but no one will lose their **** because they know it's natural. 2) I posted it for the funny. Not to prove a point, as we already came to the conclusion that all my female friends are the ''lucky ones''. But I love you all nonetheless, I wish you a nice day and weekend.
Hey gentlemen. I woke up and found myself in the top 60, Which technically means frontpage When you're at FJ Home page, you can find this content without having to click on the second page.
This is a first for me, and I'd like to thank you all, but with such... Controversial content. I think I need to clarify:
1) Boners can be disreputable if you get a random one in some areas. Example, you work in a daycare. And a random boner appears. No one's gonna ask questions and next thing you know cops are on to you. While if a woman gets her period, she'll generally know what's coming up, but no one will lose their **** because they know it's natural.
2) I posted it for the funny. Not to prove a point, as we already came to the conclusion that all my female friends are the ''lucky ones''.
But I love you all nonetheless, I wish you a nice day and weekend.
Reply
+38
User avatar #7 - hoolio (04/11/2014) [-]
i always put my boner, like, up so that there was only a minor bulge and now i have a curved dick inb4 redguard reference
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+1
#12 to #7 - micekill (04/11/2014) [-]
i do the same, my mom taught me to, and i have curved dick too, better for hitting g-spot and the ps-spot (or whatever it is called) i read that in a number of articles
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+19
User avatar #15 to #12 - assdoreponyfucker ONLINE (04/11/2014) [-]
Your mom teaching you the secrets of hiding boners, probably from experience
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+1
#16 to #15 - micekill (04/11/2014) [-]
she surely did the same while i had my diapers on, was told i was born with big weapons don't know about that anymore
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+3
User avatar #17 to #16 - assdoreponyfucker ONLINE (04/11/2014) [-]
Yeah I kinda figured it out as I grew up to make it go up or to the side, but it had a natural curve up so putting it down my leg strained it.
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+1
User avatar #18 to #7 - Nihatclodra (04/11/2014) [-]
I did the same, but nobody told me to, I just naturally came to that as the best option.
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+12
User avatar #84 to #7 - meganinja (04/11/2014) [-]
Wait are dicks not supposed to be curved?
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0
#152 to #84 - anon (04/11/2014) [-]
A small amount of deviation is normal.
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+258
#8 to #7 - dehnoobshow [OP](04/11/2014) [-]
You see those warriors from Hammerfell?
They have curved penises.
Big. Curved. Penises
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+1
User avatar #237 to #210 - vicsix (04/11/2014) [-]
I remember this comic, would you happen to have the source?
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+2
User avatar #238 to #237 - proudbrony (04/11/2014) [-]
happy fapping imgur.com/a/bQ3CO
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0
User avatar #244 to #238 - eanirae (04/12/2014) [-]
That comic is hilarious. xD
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+15
User avatar #10 to #8 - lazaman (04/11/2014) [-]
Cuuuuurved, swwwords
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0
#160 to #10 - anon (04/11/2014) [-]
That's the joke.
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0
#258 to #8 - tehlulzbringer (04/12/2014) [-]
BIG! MEATY! CURVED! COCKS!
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+92
#71 - mankey (04/11/2014) [-]
When you get a raging boner and the teacher calls you up to the front of the class.
When you get a raging boner and the teacher calls you up to the front of the class.
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+67
#11 - dribble (04/11/2014) [-]
That problem must be worse for traps...
That problem must be worse for traps...
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0
User avatar #211 to #11 - flomosho (04/11/2014) [-]
sauce
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0
User avatar #224 to #11 - closothehomosexual (04/11/2014) [-]
why are traps so popular allofasudden
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-1
#228 to #224 - BigBallSack (04/11/2014) [-]
I don't know man...
You tell me.
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0
User avatar #229 to #228 - closothehomosexual (04/11/2014) [-]
hng

im not arguing
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+107
#3 - numbmind (04/11/2014) [-]
Big reason i never wore sweatpants to school...
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0
#62 to #3 - muffinssnuffims (04/11/2014) [-]
But sweats are easier... you just flip it up under the waistband.

Jeans give you no room to move it, fully ensuring that:

A: You'll walk weird, tipping everyone off
and B: You won't be able to move it so there'll be a clear outline or tent.
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+4
User avatar #65 to #62 - viperish (04/11/2014) [-]
First off, if your sweatpants are so tight that your dick stays put you're doing it wrong.

Secondly how ******* tight are your jeans?
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+1
#67 to #65 - muffinssnuffims (04/11/2014) [-]
1: Only the waistband is, and if the waistband isn't tight enough to keep your flipped-up dick in the up position then it's probably falling down completely.

2: Usually either a bit snug or not at all. But the problem is the less snug they are, the less they provide any force to hide said boner either. So either your boner moves less but the outline is more obvious, or it moves more and the tent is more obvious. You just can't win.
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+5
User avatar #14 to #3 - assdoreponyfucker ONLINE (04/11/2014) [-]
I wore ******* sweatpants everyday in 7th grade and I got a HUGE boner EVERY day. I thought it was normal, and never noticed. People kept quiet about it but now they grind me about it all the time.
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User avatar #148 to #14 - tiles (04/11/2014) [-]
I was exactly like that, too. And in the same grade.
Although I moved away from that school when I finished 7th. So while they still probably talk about my awkward penis pants some times, I was never around for that part.
I am glad for that.
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+97
#2 - paraplegicdinosaur (04/11/2014) [-]
Only beta's hide their boners.

Wear it proudly and strong, comrades!
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-5
User avatar #6 to #2 - craaabs (04/11/2014) [-]
What I was going to say
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+4
#98 to #2 - rikkuidol (04/11/2014) [-]
fukin bayonetta stilettos
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+38
#20 to #2 - thatguybehindyou (04/11/2014) [-]
I went up to a presentation with sweatpants and apparently I can get sent to the office for not having complete control over my penis.
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+21
#21 to #20 - sheldonthorpe (04/11/2014) [-]
MFW that's not a dick
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+36
#19 - berkut (04/11/2014) [-]
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+57
#24 - infinitereaper (04/11/2014) [-]
by the law of rolling I give unto thee
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+2
#194 to #24 - dyalibya (04/11/2014) [-]
**dyalibya rolled image**
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+24
#1 - yuukoku (04/11/2014) [-]
I had an erection while reading this...
I had an erection while reading this...
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0
#193 to #1 - mightymark (04/11/2014) [-]
mass erect
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0
User avatar #196 to #193 - yuukoku (04/11/2014) [-]
herasseffectmakesmymasserect.jpg
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0
#201 to #196 - anon (04/11/2014) [-]
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+21
#170 - lolofoeshow (04/11/2014) [-]
the worst is at the pool
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+20
#123 - grimmwaters (04/11/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
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+14
#180 - zarkaronx (04/11/2014) [-]
**zarkaronx rolled user theorangefox **
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+10
#182 to #180 - theorangefox (04/11/2014) [-]
It ain't easy I tell ya.
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+15
#159 - benderisgreat (04/11/2014) [-]
Why hide it?
Why hide it?
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+1
#189 to #159 - theorangefox (04/11/2014) [-]
That ***** be hatin'
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+7
#186 to #159 - dehnoobshow [OP](04/11/2014) [-]
I've seen so much **** that this isn't even surprising to me.
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+11
#208 - hellsjester (04/11/2014) [-]
>be me
>be 10-11 yrs old
>belong to repressed christian family and goto catholic school.
>just hit puberty and don't understand changes, because everyone doesn't talk about that stuff because "sex is bad mkay"
>volunteer to read to younger kids in k and preschool.
>get girl and start reading go dogs go from doctor suess.
>she insists on getting in my lap and i figure why not it's no big deal
>suddenly hot older chick sits next to me wearing none regulation uniform. (extra clevage and she has developed nicely) to read to another younger kid
>start stuttering cause i am beta prime at the time
>suddenly riggemortis in pants
>little girl "what is that bump in your pants?"
>i don't know but it hurts with you sitting on it so pls off
>girl next to me goes "omg you perv!!!"
>what is teh perv?
>she leaves and tells teacher.
>teacher brings parents in to talk with me. typically this is bad m'kay stuff
>when i ask what i did no one answers and gets angrier when i keep pushing topic.
>push topic more mom and principal are yelling at me saying it's a sin to talk about it and such.
>finally dad comes from work. "the **** is the problem and why is he in the office?"
>principal explains and once again i ask the **** did i do wrong.
>dad looks me dead in the eyes. "son you had a boner on a little girl. why did you get erect with her?"
>wut?
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+11
User avatar #209 to #208 - hellsjester (04/11/2014) [-]
CONT

>dad-was this little girl attractive to you?
>hell no the girl sitting next to me had nice boobs.
>dad laughs and bitches out principal and mom for not explaining it.
>find out later what a boner is for
>MFW i gave a little girl a boner because girl next to me was hot and i freaked her out cause ultra beta mode.
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+4
#220 to #209 - carlonord ONLINE (04/11/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
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0
User avatar #257 to #209 - newsuperyoshi (04/12/2014) [-]
That wasn't even Beta, Beta is next to Alpha, you're on the level of FRIKKEN PI at that time.
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+2
User avatar #259 to #257 - hellsjester (04/12/2014) [-]
not sure what means but yah i am glad i got over that phase in life and went to public school
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0
#260 to #259 - newsuperyoshi (04/12/2014) [-]
Allow me to hit you with a little knowledge. The Greek Alphabet, in order, to explain the joke.
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+2
User avatar #261 to #260 - hellsjester (04/12/2014) [-]
im not trying to be mean by any means. but if you have to explain a joke it isn't really funny.
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0
#262 to #261 - newsuperyoshi (04/12/2014) [-]
That notion annoys the hell out of me, as simply because a joke does not currently have a shock factor of humor does not make it a bad joke, if it isn't explained to you, then you and less people who would've seen it and gotten the joke next go around or been able to make it (or one like it) themselves would not have been able to. Picture unrelated.
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+2
User avatar #263 to #262 - hellsjester (04/12/2014) [-]
i mean i get it now. since you explained it. i am just not familiar with greek alphabet and i am sure if i knew what it was i would have gotten a jolly from it.
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+11
User avatar #151 - thempc ONLINE (04/11/2014) [-]
i hope that women realize an erection is not always a sign of arousal, sometimes they just happen for no reason, and many men wake up with them
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+8
#156 - thehardstudynot (04/11/2014) [-]
-MFW weird ass description
-MFW dude reposted from fb (at least he admidded it)
-MFW OP doesnt deliver sauce
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0
User avatar #165 to #156 - dehnoobshow [OP](04/11/2014) [-]
Dreadfully sorry,
But it's because he doesn't really say that in the anime. And the anime, itself, I have seen about three months ago, therefore, I have no idea what it's called.
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0
User avatar #167 to #165 - thehardstudynot (04/11/2014) [-]
"henneko the hentai prince" if i remember correctly, ive seen myself bout' 4 months ago myself.
really only mentioned the sauce-thing cause muy comment would sound wierd if there were only two points IMO
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+1
#232 to #167 - arstya (04/11/2014) [-]
So what you're saying is that this is porn?
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0
User avatar #265 to #232 - thehardstudynot (04/12/2014) [-]
no actually, weird as it may sound .
"hentai" means "pervert" in japanese, and is not porn related in this series.
the series itself is pretty standart with a few pantyshots here and there.
but other than that its pretty innocent
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0
User avatar #168 to #167 - thehardstudynot (04/11/2014) [-]
ive seen it myself*
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0
#206 - anon (04/11/2014) [-]
atleast you can't smell the boner...unlike periods
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+4
#231 to #206 - dehnoobshow [OP](04/11/2014) [-]
Imagine if they could smell the boner.
Imagine if they could smell the boner.
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+25
#22 - kaflip (04/11/2014) [-]
You thinks its any easier to hide your period in public? No, we have an all day fear someone will see blood, and I can assure you, it happens every month + trying to hide the pain of the cramps.
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0
User avatar #27 to #22 - littleliz (04/11/2014) [-]
and people just giggle at boners. people like faint at the sight of period blood. they are horrified by it. the stress girls go through for a week everyday is no where near the stress of not getting a boner. you get a boner hide in a corner for 5 minutes thinking of dead puppies it goes away. period blood doesn't and what if you dont have a change of pants....ive been in that situation.
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+11
User avatar #30 to #27 - ninjaroo (04/11/2014) [-]
Boners aren't as easy to hide as putting a pad in your underwear and aren't as easy to get rid of as you may think. It's a retarded comparison, but random boners are by no means a nice thing to have.
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-1
User avatar #33 to #30 - littleliz (04/11/2014) [-]
they are a helluv alot easier to hide than period blood. for a boner you dont have to do the hide dance all the way to the bathroom change pants come out people wonder why they figure out why then give you that oh god ew look. guys have awkward boners girls go ew guys laugh about it for a day guys/girls moves on. girl caught with period pants shes mocked laughed at made fun of for days. guys have ways like tucking it into the top of your pants or kneeling down. and it goes away. plus its not usually an everyday thing. girls freak out everyday for a week. constantly checking. and all it takes is a bad laugh/cough sneeze.
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+3
User avatar #34 to #33 - ninjaroo (04/11/2014) [-]
You realize I was agreeing with you, my problem was that you think it's easy to get rid of or hide a boner.
Flipping it up into the top of your pants doesn't work for everyone.
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-1
User avatar #35 to #34 - littleliz (04/11/2014) [-]
well i didnt say it was easy. i said easier. i admit 5 minutes is a bit of a stretch i know it takes a lot longer than that unless you get scared. lol nothing makes a dick softer than parents coming in during sex
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0
User avatar #38 to #35 - ninjaroo (04/11/2014) [-]
Wrong science ahead The reason a dick gets soft when the parents walk in is because the body is experiencing such high levels of terror it's preparing to wet itself.
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User avatar #39 to #38 - littleliz (04/11/2014) [-]
lol i know why they get soft haha but really what this post should say is you think girls have it tough?! nothing is more awkward than a random boner and the girl you like notices. now that i would agree is more embarassing than almost anything i can imagine
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0
User avatar #41 to #39 - ninjaroo (04/11/2014) [-]
>New girlfriend
>Head on lap
>Have boner
>She notices
>Turns out to be abstinent
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0
User avatar #42 to #41 - littleliz (04/11/2014) [-]
i would die. haha ok i got one
> be me 16
> new bf i really like him
> laying on his lap
> not a sexual person so never pay attention to things
> hes stroking my hair and decides to put his hands between my legs
> hands bloody
> he sniffs it
> never speak to eachother again
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User avatar #172 to #42 - gcloud ONLINE (04/11/2014) [-]
at least u didnt have ur period in his mouth......
bad memories
im the guy in this
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+1
User avatar #173 to #172 - littleliz (04/11/2014) [-]
no ive had that happen too. but what made it worse is when he said yum
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+1
User avatar #175 to #173 - gcloud ONLINE (04/11/2014) [-]
hahaha i cant remember what it was but i said something like that i was so grossed out and i didnt want her to feel bad so washed my face
our relationship didnt last that long after that
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User avatar #181 to #175 - littleliz (04/11/2014) [-]
yea mine didnt last that long after that either. he started showing this vampire fetish thing and i admit i enjoyed the twilight books (this was the time of twilight thats why i say that) but the whole vampire sexy **** freaked me out
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User avatar #183 to #181 - gcloud ONLINE (04/11/2014) [-]
that bring up other bad bad memorys
one of my exs litterally bit my neck so hard i drew blood
my immense pain was completely ignored till i was practically crying
tho she was kinda weird and i new what i was getting into
still tho thot i was gonna die.
but i think the weirdist fetish iv ever been a part of was necrophilia
she didnt try to kill me or anything but i had to just lay there and act dead(wasnt that bad(weird as fk tho))
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User avatar #200 to #183 - littleliz (04/11/2014) [-]
haha ok i cant top necros. the same vamp guy thought he was a dog. thats weird but necros are pretty odd. i find people like that fascinating but they are what i like to call interesting at 100 feet. meaning you are neat to study but stay the **** away from me
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User avatar #203 to #200 - gcloud ONLINE (04/11/2014) [-]
i really only like interesting people in the first place, probebly to make up for my hoplessly boring life
but ya everyday i would tell her that talking to her was like reading the most intresting book in the world, i mean she would never laugh or smile or anything like that but i new it made her happy :/ welp now she hates me and im forced to move on

not that im the best with giving relationship advice or anything but making her happy even just alittle bit would make my whole week probebly since i no she didnt have alot to be happy about. what im trying to say is that weird people are the best people and u should give them a chance, im NOT saying date some fat guy with a neck beard cuz fking standards but she was the happiest time of my life and deffenetly my weirdest gf i ever had she will always be missed
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#202 to #200 - gcloud has deleted their comment [-]
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User avatar #43 to #42 - ninjaroo (04/11/2014) [-]
I'd try to act like that never happened. I got another that's not quite as bad.
>New girlfriend
>Alone at her house
>Tickle her
>Inevitably leads to making out
>Her mother gets home
>Hand halfway up girls shirt because that's where I was tickling her, I wasn't even groping her
>Mothers first impression is me on top of her daughter with my hand under her shirt and my tongue down her throat
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User avatar #44 to #43 - littleliz (04/11/2014) [-]
haha i try to laugh about it now. ive got a billion awkward moment stories honestly. nothing beats an awkward story like a parent/ first time meeting parents one.
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User avatar #46 to #44 - ninjaroo (04/11/2014) [-]
Oh, and I meant as the guy in that situation. I wouldn't be happy about period blood on my hand and I wouldn't go there for a while, but I'd stick around.
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User avatar #45 to #44 - ninjaroo (04/11/2014) [-]
I dated this one chick for eight and a half months in high school and never learned her fathers name. He didn't really like the idea of his little girl having a boyfriend and always referred to me as "Mr (My last name)", so I just did the same.
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User avatar #47 to #45 - littleliz (04/11/2014) [-]
oh i hate parents like that. i dated a guy in high school with an over protective mother. nothing is worse than an over protective mother. he ended up being a total mommas boy who cried a lot. like at every little thing. and wouldnt stop until i "rubbed his belly" i put air quotes because it was something he would ask for because he thought he was a dog.
over protective dads are one thing but moms take it to a whole new level. cause the daughters usually disobey the dad a little. the sons just are big babys
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User avatar #50 to #47 - ninjaroo (04/11/2014) [-]
I'm the kind of guy that takes a while to decide whether or not I like someone, so by the point I ask a girl out a lot of people are shipping us. It's a weird experience when you tell a parent you're dating and they're like " ****** finally"
But yeah I've been pretty lucky as far as parents go.
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User avatar #55 to #50 - littleliz (04/11/2014) [-]
lol you are lucky. ive had the worse end of bad parental people. over protective moms who like the exs more. it causes its own series of awkward events. one mom wouldnt even face the fact we were having sex. she wouldnt say it. she acted like i took her precious sons flower. and i was his like 6th. and he was 22. i was 20. lol your very lucky to not have had the awkward parents
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User avatar #129 to #33 - gcloud ONLINE (04/11/2014) [-]
well u forget that boners are our penis's u no our sex parts the part we use clothes to hide, when u get a public boner its like u have ur dick out for the world to see.
i imagine it would be similar to having ur nips being seen through ur **** , tho that happens alot less in public since bra and what not but thats the closest comparison i can think of
not to say getting caught with blood running down ur leg isnt embarrassing but i feel one is abit more severe in terms of pubic exposure.
but really its just a bad comparison
i would much rather just get random boners then go through a period every month for a week
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User avatar #155 to #129 - littleliz (04/11/2014) [-]
well im not embarrassed by the nipple thing but thats just me. but you are all failing to remember that it goes away. you can hide it. for a girl if she doesnt have a change of clothes she has to walk around like that for the rest of the day. and guys arnt constantly looking down to see cause you can feel it. we cant always feel it. we almost never do
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User avatar #161 to #155 - gcloud ONLINE (04/11/2014) [-]
judge......
like u dont care at all?
i wouldnt date u
have more respect for ur self
tsk tsk
then again i feel the same way about yoga pants

what happend to having class :/
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User avatar #163 to #161 - littleliz (04/11/2014) [-]
are you referring to the nipple thing? or constantly looking down thing?
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User avatar #169 to #163 - gcloud ONLINE (04/11/2014) [-]
the nipple thing
though take my opinion with a grain of salt im the only guy in the world that thinks this
but besides that the whole which is worse argument i feel is largly bias, both of have testified for our own opinions, but nothing has changed, and thats fine.
i think we should just continue thro life thinking whatever we want and just be happy that we tryed.
i dont really feel like having an internet argument over somethign so petty that will never have a clear winner.
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User avatar #177 to #169 - littleliz (04/11/2014) [-]
lol on the nipple thing they are pierced so they always look like that but i didnt say i walk around without a bra. just in times im late just going out for like 5 minutes im ok with it. when you have piercings you need to get over certain fears like that because i also have a nose piercing which requires me to stick my finger up my nose lol. yea yoga pants are disturbing. and i wasnt arguing i didnt know we were lol. in comments under this i did state though that if the post said
"you think girls have it rough? try having a random boner while talking to a girl you like"
now thats embarassing but it would be just the same as if a guy noticed a girl on her period. the only difference is how society sees them. like for this one girl she was caught with blood and was made fun of for her entire high school days. the guy was laughed at patted on the back and said man it happens to everyone. so minus society they are equal. but never forget girls are ******* mean and will make fun of girls even though it can happen to them. guys just kind of brush it off unless they are total dicks
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User avatar #207 to #177 - gcloud ONLINE (04/11/2014) [-]
god i remember wooing her i would sit next to her and shed be like "go sit somewhere else" and id say "but i really like this seat" her "why" and id say "cuz its next to u" and id just smile at her and shed turn away all disgruntled but before to long she'd start sitting next to me :/ i really wish i could still make her happy but .. oh well
truly tho im over it all just lonely resently
this all 2 years ago but i havent meet any one worth my time in work or collage not that there arnt any just not in my classes i take, i think in all my classses there are 2 girls?
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#104 to #27 - anon (04/11/2014) [-]
Wear it like warrior paint.
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+11
#5 - theblackhand (04/11/2014) [-]
Hey some ?women? might have the same problem!
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0
#205 to #5 - anon (04/11/2014) [-]
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