sex stories. found on 4chan. Anonymous an ) ) : 10 Alb, ITP. Hummus BB}! etc. -rhee ll start hing girlfriend 63 KB JPG whee getting picked up to go heme soon da Balls b
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sex stories

Tags: Balls | b
Anonymous an ) ) : 10 Alb,
ITP. Hummus BB}! etc. -rhee
ll start
hing girlfriend
63 KB JPG whee getting picked up to go heme soon
dad tenage her "coming soon"
her dad a wizard for predicting the future
...
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+1673
Views: 58960
Favorited: 50
Submitted: 02/02/2013
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Comments(89):

[ 89 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#13 - TheCynic (02/03/2013) [-]
Girlfriend is under me. She's getting cold, so I grab the covers over my shoulder like a cape, about to pull it over us. She starts laughing and says I look like a flying squirrel. Laughing way too much. Ruins the mood. No sex for me.

The next day on facebook, I find that she's uploaded this picture, tagging me in it.
#43 - ButtonFly ONLINE (02/03/2013) [-]
Here's a humorous sex story:   
>I'm a virgin.
Here's a humorous sex story:
>I'm a virgin.
#93 to #43 - darkangeloffire (02/03/2013) [-]
>Be me
>Be virgin in middle school
>Make promise to lose virginity before graduating
>Go through high school without gf until senior year
>Get gf this year, 2 years younger than me
>Sitting together, make joke about me never sleeping with her
>She says not until she's married
>MFW I may actually do it at some point in time
User avatar #77 to #43 - danniegurl (02/03/2013) [-]
VIRGINS UNITE!
#92 to #43 - atheistzilla (02/03/2013) [-]
i'm glad to be amongst friends!
#89 to #43 - fuckinniggers (02/03/2013) [-]
>Be me
>Be Virgin
>Don't have a sex story
>mfw typing this
#84 to #43 - danili (02/03/2013) [-]
aaaaah a fellow virgin
aaaaah a fellow virgin
+9
#65 to #43 - russianbro has deleted their comment [-]
#42 - tomanydiscos (02/03/2013) [-]
>Be having sex
>Lights off
>Get nosebleed and don't notice
>Girl on her period
>Neglected to tell me
>Finish
>Relax for a bit, then turn lights on
>Room looks like the elevator scene from the Shining
>MFW
User avatar #32 - jacoban (02/03/2013) [-]
Once I never had a girlfriend so I just sat on my roof and masturbated to the moonlight while crying.
User avatar #33 to #32 - stilettooo (02/03/2013) [-]
That wasn't your roof...
User avatar #34 to #33 - jacoban (02/03/2013) [-]
it was the roof of the house which i then lived in. the house belonged to my family.
User avatar #71 to #8 - milthyfoustache (02/03/2013) [-]
are most people in the US circumcised? I'm from England and I know like 2 people who are circumcised
User avatar #88 to #71 - Screenshotman (02/03/2013) [-]
I'm more worried that you know who is and isn't circumcised.
User avatar #94 to #88 - milthyfoustache (02/03/2013) [-]
They're my friends and they told me...
#45 to #8 - samskie (02/03/2013) [-]
Now read it backwards from >one of the to >kid says!!!!
#37 - jokervsbatsy (02/03/2013) [-]
Suddenly everyone on FJ has a humorous sex life...
Suddenly everyone on FJ has a humorous sex life...
#23 - thefucknoonegives (02/03/2013) [-]
About a month and a half ago, my girlfriend was riding me. As i went to smack her ass, and accidentally smack my self in the nuts pretty 			*******		 hard.   
   
<MFW
About a month and a half ago, my girlfriend was riding me. As i went to smack her ass, and accidentally smack my self in the nuts pretty ******* hard.

<MFW
User avatar #24 to #23 - ludislavonac (02/03/2013) [-]
ah damn, that must have hurt
#25 to #23 - erethilful (02/03/2013) [-]
Been there, done that.. ( But not with your gf )   
   
My story about hurting situations   
   
&gt;At home   
&gt;Gf comes from work to home   
&gt;We chat how the day has went etc etc.   
&gt;Gf says that she has been horny all day   
&gt;			****		 on kitchen table   
&gt;It breaks down   
&gt;Mfw we both were on the table and I was under her   
&gt;Mfw when landing on the ground, my penis gets mashed with her body weight   
&gt;Minor damage on penis, but still hurt like hell   
&gt;Hfw she didn't get sex in few weeks because my dick hurt too much
Been there, done that.. ( But not with your gf )

My story about hurting situations

>At home
>Gf comes from work to home
>We chat how the day has went etc etc.
>Gf says that she has been horny all day
> **** on kitchen table
>It breaks down
>Mfw we both were on the table and I was under her
>Mfw when landing on the ground, my penis gets mashed with her body weight
>Minor damage on penis, but still hurt like hell
>Hfw she didn't get sex in few weeks because my dick hurt too much
#64 - manirock (02/03/2013) [-]
&gt;Be 17   
&gt;Me and GF each have siblings   
&gt;Always home   
&gt;Cock block like no other   
&gt;Only rarely get down to business   
&gt;GF proposes that we do it in the woods at night   
&gt;That sounds like a terrible, terrible idea, but okay   
&gt;She's riding me   
&gt;My head bounces off the hard ground    
&gt;Can feel bugs and 			****		 crawling all over me   
&gt;We both go back home and fall asleep   
&gt;MFW I wake up with  mosquito bites all over on my balls
>Be 17
>Me and GF each have siblings
>Always home
>Cock block like no other
>Only rarely get down to business
>GF proposes that we do it in the woods at night
>That sounds like a terrible, terrible idea, but okay
>She's riding me
>My head bounces off the hard ground
>Can feel bugs and **** crawling all over me
>We both go back home and fall asleep
>MFW I wake up with mosquito bites all over on my balls
#18 - latinotornado (02/03/2013) [-]
Story Time With Sebastian
>With ex gf (was dating at the time)
>We're in her movie room, totally alone
>we put on superbad but within 15 minutes shes on top of me kissing me
>kisses get heavier and heavier, rolling around the room kissing and laughing
>she starts to take her clothes off
> *********
>we both get butt ass naked
>we has teh sexorz
>near the end when i'm almost done, she gets on her knees and starts trying to finish me off with a handy as I'm standing up
>forget to tell her my cock fires like a fire hose
>too late, the moment is literally at hand
>Penis fires off a high velocity cum shot that flys right past the side of her face, hitting a monster can that was right behind her head, knocking the can to the ground and denting it on impact
>her draw drops in pure confusion
>as she turns her head to see what happened, dick fires off round after round
>the side of her face and hair are getting glazed with man chowder
>when it's finally over she has no idea how to react so she just silently gets up and washes her face without a word
>later that night she said it was one of the hottest things that ever happened to her
>MFW I was done cumming
User avatar #57 to #18 - orannis (02/03/2013) [-]
Best so far. By far.
0
#69 to #18 - danzeebass **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #96 to #69 - latinotornado (02/03/2013) [-]
Oh lord, I hear the Sebastian the crab Referance alllll thheee tiiimmmeee hahaha
#60 to #18 - haydn (02/03/2013) [-]
This image has expired
Appreciate the fact it was Superbad you was watching. Had a girl start blowing me off to it, and half way through Mclovin said something so I burst out laughing. She gave me the coldest look ever and just stopped and started watching the film. Mfw
#7 - nahsahsenn (02/03/2013) [-]
once i fingered my girlfriend at the time and soon after when her stepdad got home i shook his hand with my hand that was covered in his stepdaughters pussy juice
once i fingered my girlfriend at the time and soon after when her stepdad got home i shook his hand with my hand that was covered in his stepdaughters pussy juice
#46 to #7 - lawlsauce (02/03/2013) [-]
haha it would have been slightly creepy and un-funny if it weren't for the gif. lol take a thumb
#49 - mouthwash (02/03/2013) [-]
&gt;Be 16   
&gt;have 9/10 gf   
&gt;			****		 about twice a week as we didn't see much of each other   
&gt;Later be drinking at party   
&gt;Approach the now blurry figure believed to be my gf   
&gt;make out upstairs, start 			*******		   
&gt;People 			*******		 on other side of wall   
&gt;we finish and go out to see who it was   
&gt;Open the door and see my girlfriend riding my friend   
&gt;look to the girl I just 			******		   
&gt;It's her sister   
&gt;Other friend saw whole confusion   
&gt;Our faces when we realised I caught my girlfriend cheating whilst cheating   
   
This actually happened, and were both madly drunk. We made up and got back together. Broke up a week later because she cheated on me whilst totally sober. Dem bitches...
>Be 16
>have 9/10 gf
> **** about twice a week as we didn't see much of each other
>Later be drinking at party
>Approach the now blurry figure believed to be my gf
>make out upstairs, start *******
>People ******* on other side of wall
>we finish and go out to see who it was
>Open the door and see my girlfriend riding my friend
>look to the girl I just ******
>It's her sister
>Other friend saw whole confusion
>Our faces when we realised I caught my girlfriend cheating whilst cheating

This actually happened, and were both madly drunk. We made up and got back together. Broke up a week later because she cheated on me whilst totally sober. Dem bitches...
-6
#53 to #49 - sandwitchman **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #50 to #49 - astraea (02/03/2013) [-]
This week on 16 and pregnant
User avatar #51 to #50 - mouthwash (02/03/2013) [-]
Used condoms and I'm from England. Legal age is 16 there.
User avatar #52 to #51 - yutakenusername (02/03/2013) [-]
Legal age is 16 in the US, too. Doesn't mean it's smart.
User avatar #54 to #52 - mouthwash (02/03/2013) [-]
I thought it was 18. Feel pretty thick now...
User avatar #56 to #54 - orannis (02/03/2013) [-]
It depends which state.
User avatar #68 to #56 - arcanezero (02/03/2013) [-]
in my state you can married at age 13 for boys and age 12 for girl's if the accept but i dont know about the age before you can have sex
User avatar #70 to #68 - arcanezero (02/03/2013) [-]
*the parent's
User avatar #95 to #68 - mouthwash (02/03/2013) [-]
I'd assume sex is the same as marriage, if consummation of marriage is anything to go by
0
#67 to #52 - danzeebass **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#85 to #67 - John Cena (02/03/2013) [-]
Denmark, where many virginitys have gone lost at the age of 15.
#83 - curtisbentley (02/03/2013) [-]
&gt; day my friend lost his virginity   
&gt; at his place for his 16th birthday   
&gt; we find sombrero, dare him to wear it during the sex   
&gt; he's wasted, agrees   
&gt; girlfriend's wasted, she doesn't even know which way is hop tip da doodily doo   
&gt; he goes upstairs with her wearing sombrero   
&gt; 10 minutes later   
&gt; we forget about the sombrero as we're all taking shots   
&gt; suddenly we hear a bump upstairs   
&gt; everything goes quiet   
&gt; &quot;Para bailar La Bamba   
Para bailar La Bamba   
Se necessita una poca de gracia   
Una poca de gracia&quot;   
&lt; mfw
> day my friend lost his virginity
> at his place for his 16th birthday
> we find sombrero, dare him to wear it during the sex
> he's wasted, agrees
> girlfriend's wasted, she doesn't even know which way is hop tip da doodily doo
> he goes upstairs with her wearing sombrero
> 10 minutes later
> we forget about the sombrero as we're all taking shots
> suddenly we hear a bump upstairs
> everything goes quiet
> "Para bailar La Bamba
Para bailar La Bamba
Se necessita una poca de gracia
Una poca de gracia"

< mfw
#58 - John Cena (02/03/2013) [-]
>Be 16
>girlfriend sleeps over for first time, special occasion
>eat her pussy out
>mom, knocks but walks right in stares at my ass as i was doing the liking
>sexy time ruined, akward situation
>went to sleep
>5 o'clock in the moring, got pick up to go to a festival (reason why we spend te night)
>girlfriend had to eat breakfast with mother, got very nervous, started crying
>broke up 1 week later
User avatar #59 to #58 - Awesomecarrot (02/03/2013) [-]
Damnnn
#61 to #59 - John Cena (02/03/2013) [-]
the festival was very nive though, Foo Fighters **** yeah!
User avatar #73 to #61 - ganjalfthegreen (02/03/2013) [-]
Reading Fest?
#76 to #73 - John Cena (02/03/2013) [-]
nope, pinkpop in the netherlands! the one where david grohl stopped playing to point out an epic rainbow behind the crowd.
User avatar #62 to #61 - Awesomecarrot (02/03/2013) [-]
Ohh nice :D gotta love the Foo Fighters
#74 - angrygirl (02/03/2013) [-]
This image has expired
**angrygirl rolled a random image posted in comment #48 at Dermatologists' Mortal Enemy **

This is my sex story

#28 - ludislavonac (02/03/2013) [-]
>Me and gf went out one evening
>Both get drunk
>Get behind a building for some sexytime
>In the middle of the **** she says
>"Hun you're in the wrong hole"
>I put a finger in her pussy just to see if she was right
>Mfw I went in dry without realising and it she just told me to continue, also it was my first time anal
#30 to #28 - John Cena (02/03/2013) [-]
So without lube you just slipped your D in her butt? You ever considered the fact that it wasn't her first time? Or your penis is tiny...
#35 to #30 - bummerdrummer (02/03/2013) [-]
or both!
User avatar #41 to #35 - calawesome (02/03/2013) [-]
or, by some majestic circumstance, he's in his own ass, and he's too drunk to notice it.
User avatar #78 to #30 - danniegurl (02/03/2013) [-]
What if she were wet enough that it were a natural lube that moved to her butt.
User avatar #14 - ZalgotheImminent (02/03/2013) [-]
There's one I read on bash.org a while back that was hilarious to me. I'll relay it here.

"<yajmele> Oh my god....I was fooling around with my boyfriend the other night....
<yajmele> Right when I grabbed his cock, we heard the "get item" sound from Legend of Zelda.
<yajmele> It's apparently his e-mail alert on his phone.
<yajmele> It took us 20 minutes to stop laughing. The timing on that was impeccable."
#55 to #14 - ShiroChan (02/03/2013) [-]
I've got the same message tone!
I've got the same message tone!
#38 - spiritofvengeance (02/03/2013) [-]
Uh... no
Uh... no
User avatar #6 - iwanttousenumbers (02/03/2013) [-]
Just because something is from 4chan doesn't mean it's funny
#79 - doctorpibber (02/03/2013) [-]
>be having sex doggy style
>be about to come
>lean over to whisper dirty things in gf's ear
>she whips back head because of hair in her face
>back of head connects with my nose
>busted nose with my busted nut
>mfw
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