oh /x/

>Be asleep
>Hear brother walking around
>Decide to scare him
>Turn off lights
>Hide behind him when he's having a piss
>He sees me
>Pisses all over me
>Scream
>Get my own survival T.V show
>I am Bear Grylls

Be cat
hanging out top of the toliet
sleeping like a boss
Have dream about mice
snore
Man comes in and pisses loudly
It wakes me and I sit up
Man looks at me with fear
He turns around and no one is there
He fucking pisses all over me
I meow loudly
He runs out of the bathroom
I hear the front door slam
I'm up and covered in piss, so I go to my food dish. Owner is outside and my food dish is empty. Have to wait an hour to eat.

>be 12
>need to piss
>walk upstairs because it's the better toilet and door has a lock
>sit down because #1 suddenly became #3
>lights go out
>Iain'tevenmad.jpg
>sitting there trying to be silent as possible
>fart
>trickle trickle
>hear a cough right outside the window
>turn towards window
>nothing there
>pull shower curtain to block window
>hear a laugh
>let loose and wipe
>flush
>pants up, lights back on
>handprint on mirror
>NOPE myself down the stairs
>NOPE myself back into bed
>NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE myself back to sleep
>have weird fucking dream about what is know as Slenderman

>Be me
>Have app on my iPhone that records when there's sound
>Check it in the morning
>4:32am hear my door open, then close a minute later
>I live alone
>noooooope
>Living with my friend at University now.

>Wake up
>Have to take a giant piss
>Walk to bathroom
>Human cockblocks my access to bathroom
>Cause power outage, hoping he'll walk out
>Heh
>Hear him take a giant piss
>Phase through walls
>Faggot sees me
>umad human?
>He turns around
>Pees ALL OVER ME!!
>"WHAT THE FUCK, YOU NIPPLESLIT!"
>Language sounds like blood-curdling screams
>Yep that asshole FINALLY leaves
>Yep that asshole leaves the house
>Sit down, on the toilet seat until my unhuman bowels finish and go back in the closet.

I'm the fucker that posted that!!!

No joke, that shit still freaks me out. It happened yesterday.

>be me
>GF yells for me to get something
>Didn't hear what she wanted. goes back there to ask.
>realize GF moved out a month days ago
>casually go about day in fear but just act like nothing happened

>be me
>middle of night
>dog starts barking
>go to hallway to see he's barking at attic.
>stop him
>hear voices and foot steps in attic
>nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooope
>grab dog, Xbox ,computer, and a mello yello
> never come back, not even for my stuff


this is a true story. it happened in my starter home

home alone
take cans out to garage
here baby cry
relize youngest person in house is 18
nope my ass back to my room
close lock door
put line of salt behind door for good measure
salt windows

>be 2 months ago
>wake up about 2am desperate for a slash
>get to bathroom start pissing (naturally)
>Piss smells like hair dye and chicken
>hear a weird rythmic tapping on a wall just outside the bathroom
>ignore it (still pissing)
>tapping gets louder
>I then remember nobody else is in the house both flatmates are at work...
>begin panic mode
>remember smell of piss and say out loud 'any ghouls, monster or ghosts out there be warned I have half a bladder of nasty piss and a mind to spray it into your dead face!'
>tapping stops immediatly
>finish pissing and strut back to my room like a boss!

That day I learnt the undead dislike a pissy face as much as the living.

Picture related

>be 12
>go to bathroom to take a shit
>in the middle of my shit the bathroom fan starts making a weird noise, start getting nervous
>the light goes out and the bathroom closet opens
>NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE
>Run the fuck out of there and finish shitting in the basement toilet

Go to sleep, hear cat jumping on bed and feel the pressure on my legs. Try to kick him off the bed, too heavy to be a cat. I turn my lights on, cat not in room and no-one on the bed. NOPE! Start running and leave the house, run 1.5km to my parents house and sleep there. next day pick my stuff and move to other house.

Not so Nope thread:

>Be six
>At Aunt's
>Thirsty, walk downstairs for water
>Dead cousin sitting at table
>Don't freak out
>Drink milk with my dead cousin
Not sure if this was a dream or not, seems way too vivid.

>come to my aunts house afterschool like i always do
>Aunt home
>Cousin home
>Go upstairs close the door, eat and watch tv for a while
>Go downstairs really fucking quiet
>Call for my aunt
>No response
>Call for my cousin
>Nothing
>Search house. All rooms, checked out front porch, and called to them in basement
>Get the fuck out the house
>Overactive imagination
>Think a serial killer killed them and took them in basement
> In backyard with a stick waiting for serial killer to come for me

i don't know which one of you had the worse time...

>15 year old me
>about to leave the house
>pretty dark
>just about to leave then I see someone sitting in our living room
>can't see who it is
>realize my mom is in the car
>whothefuckisthat.jpg
>the one sitting in couch makes noises
.NOPE

be me
see ghost
both open the door
get on the floor
everybody walk the dinosaur

> Be 7
> Playing in the hallway of ur house (quite a long hall as it was a old house)
> Spot a man in suit standing at the bottom of the hallway cant make out what his face looks like so go closer
> Ask who he is, He asks if my fathers home
> Went to get my dad, no1 was in the hallway
> Be scared shitless but soon forget it happened
> That night here footsteps in the hall outside my room, hid my head under the blanket
>Blanket is slowly pulled down, as my head is uncovered i can see that no1 is there but the blanket is being pulled from the top down.
> Run out of room screaming and crying, run out of house still crying, in tool shed until my mother found me 2 hours later.
> Beg to leave that house. Parents let me live with my grandparents for a month.

Sounds like bullshit i know but this is true and only 1 of about 7 things that happen 2 be in that house other family members have stories 2. i will not step foot past the gate to that place now it scares the shit outta me still and i am now 21