oh /b/. . Fwd Memeries that yen will never farms. sbe at a party, about years would stalking be this girl, having a great time people leave, I' m wasted and sup
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oh /b/

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Memeries that yen will never farms.
sbe at a party, about years would
stalking be this girl, having a great time
people leave, I' m ******* wasted and sup is she
smy friends house, his dad was gene and he lets me "crash" in guest return
ssuck the **** out pf that drunk slut, she passes out after
sstill awake, want reind two shortly after, start pulling her pants dawn
stuart fingering her while she' s half asleep
I' ll never ******* farms that. I got up and went inta a different ream.
...
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Views: 50770
Favorited: 93
Submitted: 06/23/2013
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#13 - thehappyphoenix (06/24/2013) [+] (2 replies)
What if she said "Stop that" and either he misheard it or she mumbled because they were both drunk?
User avatar #6 - higginz (06/23/2013) [+] (5 replies)
I read that as
'Start fingering her dad while she's half asleep'
#26 - potatasivagree (06/24/2013) [+] (1 reply)
>Be 15-16 year old girl
>Have sex with guy at party, was drunk
>Fall asleep
>Have bad dream where Dad is driving over the speed limit, I tell him to stop it
>Wake up, guy from last night is gone
#55 - latinotornado (06/24/2013) [+] (70 replies)
Story I will never forget   
>Be 10 year old me   
>My friends and I have been going through puberty (I had started one year earlier and they had started not long ago)   
>Since where 10 year old boys we're talking about banging girls even though we have no idea how to sex well   
>My friends start talking about their dick size (when you're 10 the concept of slightly homosexual topics is meaningless)   
>"alright Sebastian, how big is yours?" they ask me. I told them I dunno.  "Dude! You gotta know your dick size! When a girl wants to have sex they ask you that right away!"   
>lolk I go home that night and look for a ruler   
>before I get myself hard I google up 'average male penis size' so I had a reference on how I was doing.  average male size is 5.5-6 inches   
>go in the bathroom and think of big tits and asses and hot girls to get it up   
>check myself with the ruler and see i'm 6.5 inches   
>flip 						****					   
>extreme fear.  I was flipping out because I was only 10 and past the adult average   
>I was super scared, thought I had a tumor in my dick   
>wait for my dad to come home later that night   
>"dad, I think there's something wrong with my wiener"  my dad is an R.N. so I feel comfortable talking to him about it   
>He asks what's wrong and I tell him what happened and my 'size' issue   
>he sighs and puts his hand on my shoulder and says to me..   
>"Son..god has blessed you with a gift.  Now in time, you will mature, and learn how to use this gift properly and appropriately.  For now, don't worry about it.  It'll all make sense in a few years."   
>I kinda understood what he was talking about but I was just happy nothing was wrong.   
>I never forget that day because my father teases me whenever I come home from a girls house asking, "did you give them a gift?"   
    
hfw I was 16 and came home from my girlfriends house telling him "I got her a gift."
Story I will never forget
>Be 10 year old me
>My friends and I have been going through puberty (I had started one year earlier and they had started not long ago)
>Since where 10 year old boys we're talking about banging girls even though we have no idea how to sex well
>My friends start talking about their dick size (when you're 10 the concept of slightly homosexual topics is meaningless)
>"alright Sebastian, how big is yours?" they ask me. I told them I dunno. "Dude! You gotta know your dick size! When a girl wants to have sex they ask you that right away!"
>lolk I go home that night and look for a ruler
>before I get myself hard I google up 'average male penis size' so I had a reference on how I was doing. average male size is 5.5-6 inches
>go in the bathroom and think of big tits and asses and hot girls to get it up
>check myself with the ruler and see i'm 6.5 inches
>flip ****
>extreme fear. I was flipping out because I was only 10 and past the adult average
>I was super scared, thought I had a tumor in my dick
>wait for my dad to come home later that night
>"dad, I think there's something wrong with my wiener" my dad is an R.N. so I feel comfortable talking to him about it
>He asks what's wrong and I tell him what happened and my 'size' issue
>he sighs and puts his hand on my shoulder and says to me..
>"Son..god has blessed you with a gift. Now in time, you will mature, and learn how to use this gift properly and appropriately. For now, don't worry about it. It'll all make sense in a few years."
>I kinda understood what he was talking about but I was just happy nothing was wrong.
>I never forget that day because my father teases me whenever I come home from a girls house asking, "did you give them a gift?"

hfw I was 16 and came home from my girlfriends house telling him "I got her a gift."
#10 - lilbigjoker (06/23/2013) [+] (1 reply)
User avatar #25 - demandsgayversion (06/24/2013) [-]
If you read the lightbulb in a Scottish accent, it actually kinda makes sense
#42 - infinitereaper (06/24/2013) [-]
Fun for the whole family.
#173 - oceanfrank (06/24/2013) [-]
Stories We'll never forget?

>Be 9 year old me
>Saw a documentary about weed
>Very liberal type of documentary, made it look very col
>Decided I wanted a joint because it looked cool
>Didn't know what they looked like entirely or where they came from
>Never really payed attention to where they came from
>Look around house, maybe mom smokes weed (she used to smoke cigarettes so I just assumed)
>In bathroom, find a used (bloodless) tampon of my mom in waste basket
>Didn't know what it was
>Thought, "This looks like one!"
>Pulled the string off and put it in me mouth and lit the part that goes in
>Looking cool and ****
>Mom walks in cuz she's gotta pee real bad after coming home from work
>HFW She sees her son smoking her used tampon on the toilet seat
#141 - Dap (06/24/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Ed your story is getting weird
#17 - huffe (06/24/2013) [-]
well, it's been a while since i fapped anyway
User avatar #40 - winsauceiswin (06/24/2013) [-]
>be 5 year old me
>talking with girl who's a friend
>her dad recently killed himself
>trying to start conversation
>ask "how's your dad" knowing he killed himself like a week ago
>she bursts in to tears
>her mom hears me ask from across the room
>her mom was also my mom's best friend
>girl's mom thinks i'm a psycho dick kid
>mom never sees best friend again feel like **** for what i did and now have a psychological disposition to feeling guilty for ANYTHING i do wrong
never forget ever
#88 - doodogger (06/24/2013) [+] (11 replies)
Story time FJ...
>I was only 12 years old.
> ******** in the bathroom.
>Friend was at the house.
>He likes to twist the doorknob to spook me.
>I think I locked the door, not sure, too far away to check, might get **** everywhere.
>Gigantic poop-turd coming out.
>Feelsgoodman.jpg
>plops in the toilet and water splashes my asshole.
>feelsweirdman.jpg
>Not done yet.
>There's a god forsaken cliffhangar.
> **** this **** .
>Start to cough and growl until cliffhangar falls off.
>My efforts remain futile.
>Decide to sit there and wait it out.
>30 minutes go by.
>I eventually forget about cliff hangar.
>Friend twists doorknob and the door opens.
>He's laughing his ass off as he comes towards me.
>I jump up and pull apart my ass cheeks in an attempt to ward him off.
>He instinctively grabs my toothbrush and shoves it up my ass.
>I cough and snarl some more, toothbrush and cliffhangar shoot out of my asshole like a bullet.
>Toothbrush strikes him in the face, poop goes in his mouth.
>MFW I shot a ******* toothbrush out my ass.
User avatar #100 - beatmasterz (06/24/2013) [-]
"I got up and went to another room." That was really anticlimatic.
#37 - pvtdancer (06/24/2013) [-]
I read this as he was her dad.... WTF is wrong with me
#160 - faroeseguy (06/24/2013) [-]
Is no one concerned about, that he somewhat took advantage of a passed out girl? I know it's /b/, but come on.
#18 - jldragon (06/24/2013) [+] (5 replies)
Memeries that yen will never farms.   
sbe at a party, about years would   
stalking be this girl, having a great time   
people leave, I' m 						*******					 wasted and sup is she   
smy friends house, his dad was gene and he lets me "crash" in guest return   
ssuck the 						****					 out pf that drunk slut, she passes out after   
sstill awake, want reind two shortly after, start pulling her pants dawn   
stuart fingering her while she' s half asleep   
I' ll never 						*******					 farms that. I got up and went inta a different ream.
Memeries that yen will never farms.
sbe at a party, about years would
stalking be this girl, having a great time
people leave, I' m ******* wasted and sup is she
smy friends house, his dad was gene and he lets me "crash" in guest return
ssuck the **** out pf that drunk slut, she passes out after
sstill awake, want reind two shortly after, start pulling her pants dawn
stuart fingering her while she' s half asleep
I' ll never ******* farms that. I got up and went inta a different ream.
#9 - godblez (06/23/2013) [-]
You are right... I have never forgotten that memory.
#45 - Izen (06/24/2013) [+] (17 replies)
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