huehuehue. . Fat people stories thread we me at Walgreens but it pays the bills while I wait to backto school in spring sshow night. not many customers y spudde 4Chan 4chang 4ching 4chong
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Fat people stories thread
we me
at Walgreens
but it pays the bills while I wait to backto school in spring
sshow night. not many customers
y spuddenly see the fattest effet fat fucks approaching register
scan full m Mountain Dew and Het Pockets
I ' was so much fat that he haste lean en the cart to assist him with walking
we fat that he wen' t take anything out ofthe cart. makes me scan everything while its still in cart
ea guy walks in only wanting a Elle: Pepsi. haste wait behind Fatty McGee
Metal comes to 78 dollars
sweaty bill in my face like an asshole
dmark it to make sure its legit. tn put itin the register
wait let me give you the (whatever) cents"
astards searching in pockets fer approximately a decade looking fer change
em this point there are hour people waiting behind Fatfuck Mcfatterson
rail visibly upset that they have ta wait for him
kl call fer second cashier
eeveryone immediately gees to his line to stop dealing with all the fat
tthis guy is seriously new running out of breath searching fer change
astards wheezing
Mcnally makes the change SC) I can give him all bills back
messed cashier' s line empties
any spends a couple minutes sorting hot pockets. wallet. fat
NI cant wait tn get heme and age tn bed, it' s been a long day"
smaking small talk I say. "Long day at work?"
oh no. I dent have aim. I renewed that money hem my mom"
what do yeti do?"
HI moderate the sports beard en khan"
wmm
...
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Views: 45646 Submitted: 12/23/2013
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asd
User avatar #1 - lordplatypus
Reply +188 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
Well, I'd like to say it escalated quickly but with all the fat in this story i'm not sure it could have...
#2 to #1 - dontknowme
0 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#3 to #1 - dontknowme
Reply +12 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
Bah dum tss
#9 to #3 - silasersej
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
#4 to #1 - rufflezrgood
Reply +23 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
I'm pretty sure the escalator dropped a few floors. Yes, I do mean the escalator
#18 - bowmasta
Reply +63 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
I work at a paintball field and I usually don't deal with ham planets but I did have a fatty the other day and this is his tale.

>Reffing a private party
>Usually get tipped from Parties
>Grandpa and 4 kids
>Grandpa is fit as an ox
>Kids are out of shape - Wheezing every game
>Thanks American P.E.
>Birthday boy is a little **** (like always)
>Never wants grandpa to play
>Grandpa is the best out of the 5
>BB after every game
>"I ran through and got you all"
>He sits in the back Every. Single.Game.
>Barking useless orders
>Yells loudly to cover him when he moves
>Gets shot to pieces
>Grandpa flanks and makes use of cover
>Never sticks his head out for more than .02 seconds.
>Runs like Forrest Gump
>***** on all the kids in a 1 V 4
#19 to #18 - bowmasta
Reply +20 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]

Then comes Big Boy.

>300+ pounds
>A5 + E trigger
>12 pods
>For play Rec ball
>****************.Jpeg
>Sits in Starting box every game
>Don't care because I don't want to lift him if he falls.
>Shoots Birthday Boy like 40 times because he won't call himself out
>Hearty chuckle between Big boy and I
>E trigger dies sending the marker full auto for 2 straight minutes.
>Lights up all the little *****.
>Grandpa and Big Boy **** on kids for another 5 games
>Pack up and head home

>Tipped $20
>Coworkers get tipped $10 for nothing
>Coworkers give me their tips
>MFW Made $40 while watching little brats get shot
>Good day

#39 to #19 - phillipcl
Reply +16 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
>Playing paintball at normal spot I go to
>**** faced kid having is 11th bday there or some ****
>We have to defend this island
>I wait by one of the three bridges, cos defense yo
>Kid comes ramboing across bridge
>Pull trigger about 8 times. Kid falls down from the sheer agony of my balls
>Starts crying obnoxiously
>Ref runs over, dad comes running, as more team mates come I continue shooting any faggots trying to cross bridge
>Game ends later, dad is talking ****, "If I find out who did that!"
>Buddy of mine looks at dad, "its ******* paintball you ****, if you want your kid to be a bitch you should have taken him to the god damned bakery faggot"
>MFW
User avatar #20 to #18 - arsyro
Reply +104 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
i played paintball with my dad once. It doesn't sound that bad until you realize that my dad was trained as a sniper in the US armed forces. My balls never fully recovered
#24 to #20 - danilawleit
Reply +28 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
My condolences to your happy sack
My condolences to your happy sack
User avatar #68 to #24 - arsyro
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
why did a comment of mutilation to my manhood get 85 thumbs?!
#33 to #20 - JudasLitl
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
one of the best comments on here
one of the best comments on here
#75 to #20 - anon id: 741ef501
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(01/08/2014) [-]
over 300 confirmed kills
User avatar #8 - ireallylikepotatoe
Reply +100 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
That's the only board I go on and I can completely believe this.
#14 to #8 - tmsem
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
>Moyes
#15 - mayoroftownsville
Reply +77 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
Coincidentally, this happened to me yesterday:
>Be working at supermarket
>Fat woman comes up to my register
>have a friend who is 300 pounds
>she dwarfs him with her ass alone
>ring out all her items
>"Do you have paper bags?"
>company is trying to phase out paper bags, only gives us ****** little lunch bags
>explain this to her, see the anger rising in her beady eyes
>"All you kids today think plastic is so great, well it's not! I blah blah blah..."
>yes ma'am
>of course ma'am
>show her the lunch bags, she rolls her eyes
>says to try putting groceries in plastic first and then the lunch bags
>she starts to help, puts a ******* of cans in one plastic bag
>clearly not going to fit
>start taking some out into another bag
>"DON'T YOU DARE TAKE OUT A SINGLE ******* CAN YOU ****"
>explain that not all of it will fit in one ****** lunch bag
>"YOU'RE JUST LAZY, GIVE THAT TO ME"
>she puts the whole thing into a ****** lunch bag, it immediately rips in half
>cans fall ******* everywhere
continued in part 2
User avatar #21 to #15 - smartyben **User deleted account**
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
im so exited wheres part two
#22 to #21 - mayoroftownsville
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
Here: www.funnyjunk.com/channel/4chan/huehuehue/unwxGha/16#16
I probably should have written it up as a reply, but it's too late now
#56 to #22 - germed
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
You know most computers nowadays have this really neat feature called "copy-paste" I hear it can transfer walls of text instantly.    
I know, crazy right?
You know most computers nowadays have this really neat feature called "copy-paste" I hear it can transfer walls of text instantly.
I know, crazy right?
#61 to #56 - anon id: 487db089
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
Comment #16.
#16 - mayoroftownsville
Reply +75 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
Part 2
>start trying to move the cans again
>DON'T YOU ******* DARE. GO GET ME A BOX!
>wut
>explain that we don't just keep boxes lying around
>"THEN WHAT'S THAT?!"
>she points to a display box filled with ice scrapers
>that's a display box ma'am, I can't empty it
>at this point my supervisor has come over
>"Anon, why don't you go to the back and see if the manager has crushed all the boxes yet
>I go to the back, all he has is a banana box, really huge with a flimsy bottom
>take it back to hamplanet
>"THAT WON'T WORK, I NEED SOMETHING I CAN CARRY"
>cashier behind me is sick of all my customers switching to her line
>she dumps a box of plastic bags and hands it to me
>I start loading up the box and hand it to ham planet
>she keeps complaining as she's walking out the door, then falls and drops ******* everything
>mfw
User avatar #7 - WMDxVeLoCiTy
Reply +34 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
im fat but people like this make me sick, its pathetic how they got like that.
User avatar #28 to #7 - nagafever
Reply -5 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
you little ****. it's in my genes. my father said this summer was the first time since he was 15 that he's been under 100kg.
GENES I TELL YOU
it doesn't matter if he could do 60 pull-ups in a row, 130kg is still fat.


i dont really know if im ******* with you or myself, and im starting to think i dont even have a point to make so im gonna stop now
User avatar #34 to #7 - Reydel
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
Same here. I get that being lazy is easy since that's how I got fat but I also don't eat the worst things possible all the time. It makes me sad to see really fat people.
User avatar #67 to #34 - WMDxVeLoCiTy
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
im a rare breed of fat lol, i actually enjoy being active, i play airsoft, football, basketball, baseball etc. i just have an incredibly slow metabolism
#6 - cenderer
Reply +28 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
No! NO! I don't want to be me!
User avatar #10 to #6 - pabloenis
Reply -3 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
If you want this to work you have to be more precise with your colors.
#17 to #6 - protected
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
this is literally the coolest thing I ever saw on here.
merry christmas
#25 to #17 - cenderer
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
Merry christmas to you too!
#32 - mrpavelowgrimm
Reply +27 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
>Be me working cashier at ****** restaurant
>Friends know I work there come by sometimes I try to hook them up whenever I can.
> Group of friends show up
>I give them the ****** especial discounts you are not supposed to give unless they specifically ask for them.
>Friends disperse one by one getting their drinks
>Behind them Exo-planet RG 216435 comes into view marvel at my discovery expect NASA to send me letter of recognition
>Ask him his order I **** you not this ****** orders 3 items less than previous party
>Tell him his total and he looks at me with such indignant bewilderment
>Ask him what's the matter and he answers "How come I have to may more than those douche-bags?"
>I start to analyze situation I didn't give him secret discount cause he didn't ask for them.
>Tell him some special discounts have to be asked for if he has the coupons or saw the advertisement he can get them.
>****** throws tantrum cusses and bitches about having to ask for them when I just gave them to my friends
>Manager over-hears asks me what's going on can't even begin to explain
>lardsack starts complaining hyper-ventilating trying to catch breath after every word.
>Manager gives me **** and makes me give hamlord some free ****.

>While all this was happening crazy friend I only know as "Yogi " stands in the middle of the restaurant sipping on his drink
>Give greasetub his **** he cant carry all of it by himself so co-worker has to help him.
>Glance over and see Yogi standing there sipping his drink he looks me dead in the eyes gives me chilltingling possesed man stare
>As soon as Lord Jabu Jabu passes by him he turns around Grabs both ends of Shamu's pants And pulls them down kicks him in them ass and makes him fall forward
>Grabbed all the wrapped **** Michelin Man dropped and yells in a perfect Yogi the bear impression
"HEY BOOBOO I JUST GOT ANOTHER PICK-NIT BASKET!!"
Runs out the store no one could contain laughter not even manager.
#41 to #32 - aedai
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
> Exo-planet RG 216435
> Exo-planet RG 216435
User avatar #66 to #32 - chillingbear
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
That is so sad... I dislike fat people, but that was just cruel.
#69 to #66 - mrpavelowgrimm
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(12/25/2013) [-]
Life is cruel sir, I am but a bystander.
User avatar #70 to #69 - chillingbear
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/25/2013) [-]
The way you wrote it entails you are think its hilarious. I believe It is funny when someone brings his/her own downfall upon himself/herself. The concept that someone did that to someone who's life is so awful is sad and pathetic.
#71 to #70 - mrpavelowgrimm
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(12/25/2013) [-]
I did find it hilarious, hey bad things happen to good people bad things happen to bad people. Bitch gave me a hard time and in-turn someone gave him a hard time its life. I personally didn't do ****, I won't go out of my way to either humiliate or patronize someone.
I did find it hilarious, hey bad things happen to good people bad things happen to bad people. Bitch gave me a hard time and in-turn someone gave him a hard time its life. I personally didn't do ****, I won't go out of my way to either humiliate or patronize someone.
#52 to #32 - luiselvergas
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
>Exo-planet RG 216435
>Exo-planet RG 216435
#30 - jalthelas
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
>this guy is seriously now running out of breath searching for change   
>starts wheezing   
   
   
I cracked up so bad right there.
>this guy is seriously now running out of breath searching for change
>starts wheezing


I cracked up so bad right there.
#12 - riggyrigs
Reply +10 123456789123345869
(12/24/2013) [-]
>******* mac fatterson
>******* mac fatterson