Walmart. . Anonymous / / fuetas) fr: 52: No. 520655995 . chears ago cooming home from a tate date with my girlfriend at the time 42 KB JPG :crewmember that we a
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Walmart

Anonymous / / fuetas) fr: 52: No. 520655995 .
chears ago
cooming home from a tate
date with my girlfriend at the
time
42 KB JPG :crewmember that we are totally
out of toilet paper
eonly place open is walmart
devaluing in we see an employee riding one of
the motorized store scooters back to its
charging port
sgirlfriend is a small girl, 5' 5" , has no
shame
Can I ride that?"
wage employee doesn' t give a **** ;
shrugs and walks away
sgirlfriend jumps on and immediately starts
pretending to be a morbidly obese woman
1' - back, hangs head down
stalks in fat person voice like she' s getting her
words past seven engorged shins
to the scooter as her rascal
pronounces it similar to "")
m dying of embarrassment at this point
who heads toward the grocery section
swelling "get out mah way, mah shugga' s low"
to everyone in her path
Minds the snack isle and starts pointing to
random boxes of cookies, chips, little demise,
etc
my new I' m resigned to what is happening and
start playing along
But sugarplum, the doctor said you can' t have
more than six swiss cake rolls a day what on
account of yer diet"
Yoo shat up an put them sugar sweets in mah
basket unless you dent want no more of this
sweet sexing fer tha next month" she says as
she mimes caressing the girth hanging over the
handles of the scooter
my the time we got to the checkout the
scooter' s overloaded with deserts and candy
m choking back laughter while she keeps a
perfectly straight face and stays in character the
whole time
ended up buying worth of sweets and
were forcing boxes of them on friends for
months to come
to leave the store without ever
getting any toilet paper
itsall these years later I still can' t figure out why I
let that one get away
...
+1245
Views: 49033
Favorited: 184
Submitted: 12/12/2013
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Comments(143):

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User avatar #8 - Mrvercettivice (12/12/2013) [+] (1 reply)
this was funny until i read the last line
#18 - intrepidy (12/12/2013) [-]
The battery on those things doesn't last that long, go find her you lazy **** .
#24 - smoothmcgroove (12/13/2013) [-]
It was all fun and games until the last line, you bastard ;_;

It was all fun and games until the last line, you bastard ;_;
#43 - seymourtets (12/13/2013) [-]
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO ADD THAT LAST LINE I WAS SO HAPPY
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO ADD THAT LAST LINE I WAS SO HAPPY
#17 - Proximity (12/12/2013) [-]
Let that one slip away

Not the ending to this story I was expecting
User avatar #1 - croski (12/12/2013) [+] (11 replies)
How does one talk in a fat persons voice?
User avatar #4 to #1 - ragingcacti (12/12/2013) [-]
Regular Car Reviews 2007 Honda Accord
#9 - yentabear (12/12/2013) [+] (4 replies)
#32 - squidamon (12/13/2013) [-]
This was such a delightful post until that last line
#23 - SirFail (12/13/2013) [-]
Aww
Aww
#20 - RogersRabbit (12/12/2013) [+] (2 replies)
dat fell wen NO gf
dat fell wen NO gf
#47 - spartanm (12/13/2013) [-]
MFW reading the last line
#99 - andrewolfzoom (12/13/2013) [-]
Am sorry but is he talking about the toilet paper or the girl in the last part.
#44 - legendofbearo (12/13/2013) [-]
I've rarely felt a switch in emotion when reading one of these that was so tense and strong...   
sigh...
I've rarely felt a switch in emotion when reading one of these that was so tense and strong...
sigh...
#63 - anonymous (12/13/2013) [+] (1 reply)
**anonymous rolled a random image posted in comment #6854858 at Safe For Work Random Board ** mfw last line
#64 - anonymous (12/13/2013) [-]
Maybe she left because he gave her the old lickaroo.
#101 - anonymous (12/13/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Every time you use these lbs and feets I have to convert them to glorious european measuring standards to understand what the **** is going on.
#94 - mrpavelowgrimm ONLINE (12/13/2013) [-]
Last line out of nowhere.
Last line out of nowhere.
#53 - hudge (12/13/2013) [-]
"Mah sugga's low"
User avatar #41 - steamwhistler (12/13/2013) [+] (1 reply)
I don't give **** about the last line, or your god damn feelings.
#5 - tazze (12/12/2013) [-]
man I wish I at least knew a girl like her
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