Rustled my congos. Don't look at the tags please. Cl Anonymous 02/ 20/ 1 Smite d) 02: 45 No. 1 7891 at 9 Replies: an real as? art rear 901 ' rear ms ' rest are  You had one Job
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Rustled my congos

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Rustled my congos. Don't look at the tags please. Cl Anonymous 02/ 20/ 1 Smite d) 02: 45 No. 1 7891 at 9 Replies: an real as? art rear 901 ' rear ms ' rest are

Don't look at the tags please

Tags: You | had | one | Job
Cl Anonymous 02/ 20/ 1 Smite d) 02: 45 No. 1 7891 at 9 Replies: an real as? art rear 901 ' rear ms ' rest are apt rear also :) 14 ' may as
File: . png-[ 23 KB, 498x450, 1360117549001. png) [II
personal beta story
HEB
ffirst time having sex
ffucking her missionary
morn taught me that girls liked to be slapped on the ass while fucking
thing is her stomach
pstart slapping it as hard as I can, its like I' m playing belly homes
sshe starts cracking up and pushes me off of her
sshe leaves, still laughing
ago to school the next day
ppeople relate me as "Happy"
comtent had sex since
...
+800
Views: 46650 Submitted: 02/21/2013
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[ 110 comments ]
> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
#6 - captainwow
Reply +60 123456789123345869
(02/21/2013) [-]
I'm so sorry Slappy.
#30 to #6 - hemming
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
Holy ****, my eyes went blurry for a sec and then i saw this and i thought it was his intestines lying all over the place...
#37 to #6 - anon id: 19c98656
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
damn you spiiled all your chefboyardee on that nice white shirt. what a shame
#43 to #6 - sexwithyourwife
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#80 to #6 - nodforfunny
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
Say that to myself and start cracking up
I scroll down to post it
mfw I see your comment


#33 to #6 - killyojoy
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
his hands most have been heavy.
#46 to #6 - augnos
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
anyone else notice the face at the top of the pic?
anyone else notice the face at the top of the pic?
#22 - gooolol
Reply +56 123456789123345869
(02/21/2013) [-]
**gooolol rolled a random image posted in comment #12 at Aye! **

My story

>first time having sex
>404 sex not found
>mfw I'm 23
#69 to #22 - anon id: 8b7e4428
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
relevant roll
#98 to #22 - tartaruseden
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
**tartaruseden rolled a random image posted in comment #61 at Richard Nixon You're Not Nice **
User avatar #31 - residentblackman
Reply +31 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
>16
>having sex with volleyball player
>the ass was fat
>do her doggy style
>in my zone, balls slapping her crotch
>I have my mouth open the whole time, begin drooling on her ass
>she thinks I finished, she gets up and turns around
>I blow my man load all over her face
>she laughs at it and we go on to date for the rest of high school
#38 to #31 - anon id: fc470457
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
Seems legit.
User avatar #55 to #31 - IceViper
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
i feel like all volleyball players everywhere have fat asses.

Almost as if the moment you make the volleyball team your ass becomes huge.
User avatar #70 to #55 - residentblackman
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
All that running and jumping works wonders for your glutes.
User avatar #75 to #70 - IceViper
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
my friend is a tennis player, she has a really nice ass.

I am a male tennis player, i also have a nice ass according to girls
User avatar #34 to #31 - daringdestiny
Reply +12 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
that ended better then expected
User avatar #8 - cantfindausername
Reply +27 123456789123345869
(02/21/2013) [-]
I came fast and became flacid
My girlfriend giggled and said my penis was floppy
She calls me Floppy.
I know your pain, Slappy.
#12 to #8 - anon id: 641a2d16
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/21/2013) [-]
I kinda prefered being called slappy instead of floppy...
User avatar #87 to #8 - nyawgga
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
Why does that sounds so poetic?
User avatar #113 to #87 - cantfindausername
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/05/2013) [-]
Don't question it. Just let it happen.
#25 - bliggityblack
Reply +26 123456789123345869
(02/21/2013) [-]
I find so many of these first time sex stories so hard to believe. want a real first time sex story?
>19
>Both virgins
>she tries riding me...awkward.
>I try doing her missionary...still awkward.
>we're bad at this
>I laugh
>she cries
>she wanted her first time to be perfect
>I laugh harder
>4 years later we are sex champions

TL;DR If your first time doesn't end in laughter or crying then one of you is sex beast mode already.
User avatar #28 to #25 - thelegitmetalhead
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
That gave me a feel...Why di that give me a feel?
#35 to #28 - bliggityblack
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
Because it's soooo true!
User avatar #39 to #25 - ivoryhammer
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
My first time was awkward, but didn't end in laughing or crying, it ended after 10 minutes when my dad's car pulled up and we had to get dressed really quickly
#68 to #25 - boredomavenger
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
>be 17
>finally losing virginity to most excellent girlfriend
>she lays down on the side of my bed
>my bed is short, so it was such an awkward angle that I couldn't get it in
>lift her onto the bed to try missionary
>the awkwardness started to kill my boner
>i noticed this fact and put all of my energy towards keeping it up
>doing this ended up being the actual boner killer
>gf laughs
>I finally get it back up and we proceed in having awkward sex
>her dad calls her cell phone asking her to come home
>neither of us gets off
>worst blue balls of my life.

mfw
#53 to #25 - weirdfishes
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
-be 15
-both virgins
-under the influence of strongbow (£3.29)
-try and sex
-wtf where is hole?
-both disappoint

-took about 7 attempts
-penis is scratched up bad
-doesn't matter had sex
#56 to #53 - IceViper
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
"scratched"?   
   
By What?
"scratched"?

By What?
#58 to #56 - weirdfishes
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
nails - trying to get it in
User avatar #60 to #58 - IceViper
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
she was definetly a virgin then because experienced girls know not to grip your dick with the sharpest part of their body besides their teeth
User avatar #32 to #25 - jackenov **User deleted account**
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
True first time story
>lasted under 10 seconds
not the best first time...
User avatar #18 - ishalltroll
Reply +19 123456789123345869
(02/21/2013) [-]
"porn taught me"
Then ****** pretty much destined to go south.
#23 to #18 - handyofdoom
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(02/21/2013) [-]
i'm sure what porn teaches you is to go south
#16 - madroxjobe
Reply +16 123456789123345869
(02/21/2013) [-]
my beta story

>first time having sex
>crazy excited
>dick so hard
>goes in
>so tight
>hurts
>unbarable
>try to run away
>STUCK
>regret going to prison
#48 - deezknuts
Reply +13 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
>that's cute   
   
   
i haven't had sex ever, and i'm 17   
   
Am I the only ******* person on the planet who doesn't think that it's a big deal?
>that's cute


i haven't had sex ever, and i'm 17

Am I the only ******* person on the planet who doesn't think that it's a big deal?
#49 to #48 - notafunnyguy
Reply -6 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
i was a fat beta in from 0-16. virgin until 17.
at 16 i started hanging with a new crowd, walked everywhere all summer. lost all my weight.
worked out.
now im 19 turning 20, have slept with 41 different girls. only 3 were regrettable.
have 6 virginities on my belt too.
there's always hope
#54 to #49 - deezknuts
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
I mean, youre kinda awesome i will admit, but that's not really what i'm after.

people complan about not having sex and im just all "***** i (literally) don't give a ****"

am i the only guy who doesn't give a **** about sex?

i like to think that if i REALLY wanted to have sex, i could lower my standards and trash some ugly girl at a bar or some ****

but i don't WANT to. not that i'm afraid of sex, i just don;t understand why it's so important to people. people think it's some kind of status if you have sex with a whole bunch of girls, maybe i just care about girls too much.


it's just ridiculous that somebody would feel so beta about being a virgin, if he really felt so bad about being a virgin, he could just do what you did and lose weight and ****.

tl;dr: all the betafags are whining about being a virgin.i'm a virgin too, but I'm not a ******* betafag about it

sorry that was a rant

also i like your shoes
#59 to #54 - tommygunntyler
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
you have an apathy for sex that i think most men would be thankful to have
User avatar #65 to #59 - deezknuts
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
why are people thumbing you down?

i would thumb you up but my thumbs dont work
#74 to #65 - tommygunntyler
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
idk    
i kinda gave up on trying to understanding what upsets and doesnt upset this site   
   
i honestly would love to have your level of apathy for sex. I would get a **** load more done if I didnt have the urge to go get women and ****. And its kinda ironic because im sure most other guys disagree with me because of the urge to get women makes them think "nah dude gotta get pussy erryday"    
   
and thanks man
idk
i kinda gave up on trying to understanding what upsets and doesnt upset this site

i honestly would love to have your level of apathy for sex. I would get a **** load more done if I didnt have the urge to go get women and ****. And its kinda ironic because im sure most other guys disagree with me because of the urge to get women makes them think "nah dude gotta get pussy erryday"

and thanks man
User avatar #111 to #54 - thempc
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(02/27/2013) [-]
ur totally rite i mean sure sex is great but if theres ppl who judge you bcuz ur a virgin then theyre assholes. if ur horny, just fap or something. besides, ur hand knows exactly how u want it
User avatar #62 to #54 - IceViper
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
you might be like my friend. My friend has a girlfriend and he has been with her for over a year and he always says that he doesnt give a **** about it almost the exact same way you just said it.

He just says that because he cant get any because he has no game. You might be different tho cause hes the only one i know thats like that
User avatar #67 to #62 - deezknuts
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
If he has a girlfriend how come he can't get any?


if he has a girlfriend he can definitely slay if he wants, just not his gf

not saying that's a good thing to do but you know he could
User avatar #72 to #67 - IceViper
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
i dont know, he says his girlfriend wouldnt want to **** so i think he says he doesnt want to anyways just to look not like a fag
User avatar #73 to #72 - deezknuts
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
i've seen that happen before

poor dude's whipped like a bad slave
User avatar #76 to #73 - IceViper
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
yeah, its hard to see your friend being whipped. My other friend gets threats of no more sex if he doesnt do something, that is like super whipped
User avatar #64 to #62 - deezknuts
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
the thing is, i'm not the most unattractive dude

i'm not brad pitt but i'm not jack black, if you know what i mean

and no i'm not saying it just because i can't "get any"

i'm saying it because i see girls as more than just walking vaginas without souls or opinions. i'm not a feminist, i'm just the kinda guy that sees a beautiful girl walk by and i'm just like "she's so far out of my league i'm not even attracted to her anymore"

i'm the kinda guy who likes the quiet girl, those guys have a tendency to NEVER get laid, i've seen it happen (or in this case not happen) so many times
User avatar #71 to #64 - IceViper
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
i definetly see what you mean. I am actually much more attracted to girls that i can actually get, unconciously thinking though. I dont decide i am more attracted to them i just am.
User avatar #78 to #71 - deezknuts
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
lawd almighty i know that feel
#57 to #54 - notafunnyguy
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
to be fair, it's really not that fun after awhile.
it's one of those things that you want a lot of until you actually have a lot of it and then its just like meh.
kind of like how we all want to be rich, but then you look at people who are filthy rich and they're just bored and sad all the time. sure its great once in awhile but you're 100% right, it's by far nothing to spend every waking day trying for.
User avatar #91 to #48 - frienderman
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
I think sex is a big deal, but not like I constantly want to have sex. I think of it as more of just a really strong way to physically show love for someone, so it should be saved for someone who is a big deal. I dunno that may or may not make any sense...
User avatar #106 to #48 - cazabrow
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/23/2013) [-]
lets be honest, mostly sex is just a way of people judging others social lives and usually people who have lost it tend to brag about it to virgins to give a sense of superiority. It's not like if you're a virgin you never couldn't be if you tried. It just means you haven't made an effort to get that intimate with a girl or more frequently fags who get liquored up and bone girls who wouldn't do it had alcohol not been a massive contributing factor
User avatar #66 to #48 - Hreidmar
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
No. First time I had any sort of intimate contact with a woman was age 20.

Just don't ask about men and hedgehogs.
User avatar #85 to #48 - pawnman
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
Not really, turning 20 tomorrow. not really worried about it. I'm more worried about what job I'm going to get when I'm out of college and where i will live than the first time i have sex.
User avatar #103 to #85 - deezknuts
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
you look like tim tebow
#26 - fukkenchaos
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
#45 - crosskill
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(02/22/2013) [-]
MFW slappy