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Office Parties

 
Office Parties. After toiling through traps and dragon dildos, I recovered this gem deep from a Beta thread right as it was pruned.. File: 13801 61 I TO -( 96 K

After toiling through traps and dragon dildos, I recovered this gem deep from a Beta thread right as it was pruned.

File: 13801 61 I TO -( 96 KB, 640x1 I 36, image, jpg)
I' m still haunted by this
we me
when IT guy in lifesized company
orifice secretary gets me a birthday cake
by everyone singing "Happy Birthday"
everyone is uncomfortable because I' m obviously uncomfortable
mmy Aspy brain recoils in horror at being the center of attention
whit gees en forever
jpg
ofthe people in the reem barely know my name
seat piece of ****** cake as fast as possible and escape
mart hem reem and smack into the cutest weman in the company
coffee en my hand burning the **** out if it.
gee Faganon, serry I missed your party"
sshe doesn' t even know my name
countinue en my way
aoh **** , she' s going the same direction
we' re in Dickstep
chalking down the hall in perfect syncopation
reach stride is like a a nail into my skull
Tryto shuffle my feet to breakage rhythm
send up doing a little skip
a few mere times SC) it wasn' t SC) obvious I wasn' tjust trying to unlock em strides
I' m new skipping down the hall like a ******* meron
pstart whistling to shew hew relaxed I am
daying a little bit en each hop
knotice we' re about to go bythe Men' s Room
in a bit escape to the sanctuary ofthe bathromm
shave to Cross in frend of her
strip ever her feet into the deer
dissappear through the deer and hear her stumble to the :) or outside
Faganon, what the hell is wrang with you?"
in stall until Tpm
bleave building with beaner cleaning crew
I resigned the next day
...
+728
Views: 42735
Favorited: 101
Submitted: 09/26/2013
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Comments(36):

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31 comments displayed.
Reply
+66
#3 - franklinclinton (09/26/2013) [-]
Is it bad that I found the description funnier?
Reply
+4
User avatar #4 to #3 - tittylovin [OP](09/26/2013) [-]
To each their own.
I usually flub up the description, glad I made it work for me this time.
Reply
+31
#14 - rshanebarnes (09/27/2013) [-]
"Start whistling to show how relaxed I am"
Reply
+48
#12 - cdsams (09/26/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
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0
#27 - iamphoenix (09/27/2013) [-]
Aspies, meet your god.
Reply
+9
#32 - urabortedbrother ONLINE (09/27/2013) [-]
"Leave building with beaner cleaning crew" Jajajajajaja
Reply
+18
#20 - gloriouschad (09/27/2013) [-]
>be me, at school >bell rings for lunch >with friend talking about civil war and **** >get to doors and ****** crowded as usual >get through but freshman in front of me >moves to the side and almost squish him >turn head around to tell friend that I almost just pushed somebody to the wall >bump into a girl on accident, face jerks forward for some reason >start to laugh uncontrollably while apologizing >can see fear in her eyes >friend walks up and asks me "DID YOU TOUCH HER TITS?!" while she's right behind us >she runs to her seat starts to point a finger while pointing at me and friend >friend almost has heart attack from laughing so hard >run to a table to think about what the **** just happened she had soft hair, felt like a cloud
>be me, at school
>bell rings for lunch
>with friend talking about civil war and ****
>get to doors and ****** crowded as usual
>get through but freshman in front of me
>moves to the side and almost squish him
>turn head around to tell friend that I almost just pushed somebody to the wall
>bump into a girl on accident, face jerks forward for some reason
>start to laugh uncontrollably while apologizing
>can see fear in her eyes
>friend walks up and asks me "DID YOU TOUCH HER TITS?!" while she's right behind us
>she runs to her seat starts to point a finger while pointing at me and friend
>friend almost has heart attack from laughing so hard
>run to a table to think about what the **** just happened

she had soft hair, felt like a cloud
Reply
0
User avatar #26 to #20 - Dwarf (09/27/2013) [-]
> Leaving dorm
> Neighbor's behind me
> I open the door for her
> "Thank you"
> "You're welcome"
> She's now ahead of me
> We get downstairs
> She opens the door for me
> "Thanks very much"
> "Just returning the favor"
> Retarded laughter sound emerges from my mouth
> Never speak to her again
Reply
+34
#2 - teranin (09/26/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
Reply
+6
#21 - thisistheguy ONLINE (09/27/2013) [-]
That ending followed by the description
That ending followed by the description
Reply
0
User avatar #23 to #21 - tittylovin [OP](09/27/2013) [-]
Glad you enjoyed it.
I hope the knowledge that I wasn't using hyperbole in the description makes it funnier for you.
/b/ was pretty ****** up last night.
Reply
+1
User avatar #24 to #23 - thisistheguy ONLINE (09/27/2013) [-]
I'm sure it was I ******* love reading these though
Reply
0
User avatar #7 - fatalkill (09/26/2013) [-]
What boards are greentexts normally posted on, I know there's /b/, but they are few and far between.
Reply
0
User avatar #15 to #7 - gammajk ONLINE (09/27/2013) [-]
/b/ and /r9k/ have the most beta greentext stories
Reply
0
User avatar #8 to #7 - tittylovin [OP](09/26/2013) [-]
/b/
The other boards usually do a good job of staying on their intended topics, so /b/ is the place to go for greentexts.

Try starting a "4chan classics" thread if you're looking for some time-tested classics.
Reply
0
User avatar #9 to #8 - fatalkill (09/26/2013) [-]
thanks
Reply
0
User avatar #10 to #9 - tittylovin [OP](09/26/2013) [-]
no prob bob
Reply
+6
#11 to #7 - micekill (09/26/2013) [-]
you can try r9k, also fit or x
Reply
0
#5 - anon (09/26/2013) [-]
i was in that thread
Reply
0
User avatar #30 to #5 - yutdollacwwwthree (09/27/2013) [-]
i skipped over it to a Photobucket nudes thread.
Reply
+8
#6 to #5 - tittylovin [OP](09/26/2013) [-]
Good job man
Reply
+4
User avatar #37 - solarisofcelestia (09/27/2013) [-]
I'm also an autistic unsocial person, but why was that so arduous?
Reply
+4
#34 - ApocalypseKing (09/27/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
Reply
+4
User avatar #13 - byobgraffpro (09/27/2013) [-]
that guy truly is a beta
Reply
0
User avatar #36 to #13 - rockamekishiko (09/27/2013) [-]
that **** is like Xi or Omicron
Reply
+6
#1 - mohne (09/26/2013) [-]
here have my thumb
here have my thumb
Reply
+3
#25 - triggathepirate (09/27/2013) [-]
MFW picturing his head hittin the door trying to skip by the woman
MFW picturing his head hittin the door trying to skip by the woman
Reply
+1
User avatar #16 - liuur ONLINE (09/27/2013) [-]
I always thought it was a weave.
 
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