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Mastodon Sex

I Anonymous ) 22: 08: 53 triply) Rapids:
ITT party girl stories
sbe me, collegefag
ageing through dry spell, friends pressure mete get em mere and find epicks
fiinally break dawn, m muse party
iparty is lame, dent talk anyine, just stand in the eomer with my red sele mp m warm piss
gril eames ever, super cute
i" my tme' s allowed leek tiered at my party!" big flirty smile en her face
itums em she' s ene of the people hosting the party
iwe talk fem few minutes, she' s kind m shy but her body language suggests she wants the D
flirt, she seems like it
fiinally enter alpha mode, ask her fer a deur of the muse
i" akay anen, N show mu my mm first" still with her shy smile, but there' s a nasty leek in her eyes
iwe sneak eff her bedroom
ism starts taking eff her pants, giggling like a little coolkid
i" my anen, m mu mind if I put seme mush en?‘
asure Q ahead
ism pulls em ipod, plugs it inte the stereo
ism takes eff her shirt. I nettie she' s basically livened in Edam
let of the Edam leek really badass (fire and snakes and tribal **** ), but they make her even hotter I dent think much of them
ism gently pushes me dawn ente her bed and slinks up ever me, removing her bra as she does
is hard as diamonds
aabout start epic sex
i" anen wait" she says playfully
ism mama ever her ipod, presses play
depening track of Blood Maintain by Mastodon starts playing
ivision tums red
en my faee in preparation fer battle
***** her in the ass with the fury m a tousand howling Heme wan' iers
ism screams a Valkyrie war my in ecstasy
spenis is the size m Yggdrasil
breadboard m her bed splinters as if it has been struck by the Ther
sour passionate Viking leve continues fer what seems like an eternity, until the last seng en the album draws a elese
itum inside her, she flies adress the mm with the ferer of my mighty lead
ism tums the lights bad; en
onetime we both have gum 3 foot beartic
sex, never again
...
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Views: 30382
Favorited: 98
Submitted: 04/15/2014
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[ 65 comments ]
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User avatar #1 - sammae [OP](04/15/2014) [+] (2 replies)
stickied by sammae
Not sure if repost. found it on 4chan.
#2 - deezknuts (04/15/2014) [-]
>3 foot beards
#48 to #2 - veryscaresologin (04/16/2014) [-]
>3 foot beards?
#10 - anon (04/15/2014) [-]
>"Hey no one is allowed to look bored at my party!"
>Turns out she is one of the people hosting the party
#14 to #10 - ugoboom ONLINE (04/15/2014) [-]
#7 - iamostrich (04/15/2014) [-]
that entertaining, to say the least
that entertaining, to say the least
#18 to #7 - nuggetman (04/15/2014) [-]
What the 			****		!
What the **** !
#23 - jordoguy (04/15/2014) [-]
**** yeah Mastodon
#5 - aazz (04/15/2014) [-]
so you 			******		 a girl with 3 foot beard....not cool
so you ****** a girl with 3 foot beard....not cool
User avatar #34 to #5 - thiotez (04/16/2014) [-]
Says the guy who posts monkeys with dicknoses.
User avatar #9 to #5 - straightbusta (04/15/2014) [-]
no, they grew beards after sex
User avatar #6 - darksideofthebeast (04/15/2014) [-]
Mastodon mentioned???
Swell with pride.
#20 to #6 - brnoflynn (04/15/2014) [-]
Yep my exact reaction.

"Hey they're my favourite band! Therefore this is super relevant to me and it must get front page!"
#47 - anon (04/16/2014) [-]
I completely lost it at "Penis is the size of Yggdrasil"
I completely lost it at "Penis is the size of Yggdrasil"
#11 - biggrand (04/15/2014) [-]
> no lasting long enough for Pendulous Skin

Mastodon - Pendulous Skin
#53 - whyyounonumbers (04/16/2014) [-]
This has to be one of the best greentext stories I have ever read, thank you OP.   
   
<also, hfw the music starts
This has to be one of the best greentext stories I have ever read, thank you OP.

<also, hfw the music starts
#27 - spinaltap (04/15/2014) [-]
such a wierd ass video
such a wierd ass video
#22 - chrispoot (04/15/2014) [-]
11/10 would read again.
#37 - nooblesix (04/16/2014) [-]
To my great shame, I'd not heard the album before (jazzfag) but put it on after reading this and it was exactly as awesome as expected. Thank you, OP!
User avatar #30 - spermanentthreat (04/15/2014) [-]
Not shure why Mastodon would be so extremely viking, but nevertheless it's an awesome band. I like it.
User avatar #3 - SylverSlayer (04/15/2014) [-]
This is really much funnier while listening to sauce.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=llG3J6Trd_M
User avatar #31 - teleamachus (04/16/2014) [-]
Listen to the song and start reading at >vision turns red www.youtube.com/watch?v=llG3J6Trd_M for you lazies
User avatar #28 - guiguito (04/15/2014) [-]
Never again? This seems awsome, and a quick way to grow a beard.
#26 - racefan (04/15/2014) [-]
**racefan rolled image** mwf mastadon sex
**racefan rolled image** mwf mastadon sex
User avatar #33 to #26 - thiotez (04/16/2014) [-]
What kind of a ******* reload is that
User avatar #36 to #33 - dremnus (04/16/2014) [-]
I think he pushed one bullet in and then spun the cylinder for some sorta russian roulette thing.
User avatar #61 to #36 - thiotez (04/16/2014) [-]
Well, yeah, but that kinda ruins the point if he spins it before he locks the cylinder in place. I'm just sayin' tho.
User avatar #62 to #61 - dremnus (04/16/2014) [-]
Maybe it isn't the full clip? It does cut out while the cylinder is spinning
User avatar #63 to #62 - thiotez (04/16/2014) [-]
I dunno, you can still see the thumb as it starts spinning.
User avatar #64 to #63 - dremnus (04/16/2014) [-]
What about the thumb?
User avatar #65 to #64 - thiotez (04/16/2014) [-]
the thumb is still in the gif as the cylinder starts spinning, it's either edited a bit or it's just how the gif is. Either way, it's not cut.
User avatar #66 to #65 - dremnus (04/16/2014) [-]
Well, sure his thumb is in there as it starts spinning, he used his thumb to spin it. He pushed up on the cylinder, making the bullet appear to go up and to the right, then he quickly withdrew his thumb, causing the cylinder to spin in the opposite direction.
User avatar #67 to #66 - thiotez (04/16/2014) [-]
I suppose so
#15 - gutterwolf (04/15/2014) [-]
First genuine laugh all day. Thank you OP!
User avatar #16 to #15 - sammae [OP](04/15/2014) [-]
glad to hear bud. thats what I'm here for
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