If someone is so oblivious to not know, the comment above and below are from an old thread in 4chan.

Stop Right There Criminal Scum,
My name is Imperial Guard, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are low endurance, low intelligence troublemakers who spend every second of their day looking for laws to break. You are everything bad in Tamriel. Honestly, have any of you ever bought something? I mean, I guess it's fun stealing shopkeepers' property because of your low score in mercantile, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even worse than pickpocketing wandering traders when no guards are around.

Don't be sneaking. Just hit anyone within eyesight. I'm pretty much max level. I am a Master in Athletics and an Expert in Acrobatics. What professions do you have, other than "commit senseless acts of violence and theft against those who cannot defend themselves"? I also have full Imperial Armor, and have arrested the hero many times (She just paid the fine; Shit was SO gold). You are all criminals who should just resist arrest.

Pic Related: It's me apprehending a criminal.

'john' irl

You may be able to claim all of that but if I had a dollar for every inch of my penis I would be able to buy one thing from the dollar store biatch.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces.You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth.

You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands.

Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue.

haha. your gay.

I'm 26 years old, I'm one of the most successful carpenters in Queensland (Australia)
I own and live in a house that has a worth of 3 million Australian dollars.
I'm currently being contracted to build a house that has a worth of 2.5 million.
I live in a country full of kind, generous people (with dick heads scattered throughout)
I am dating a woman who loves me for who i am, is attractive, funny and independent.
I had my fair share of family issues, every success I've earned, was done by me and me alone.
I'm strong, slim and happy with myself physically and mentally.


I made myself who i am today, and I graduated high school with a straight C report card... I only played Rugby as a hobby, never been in a team before in my life.

My life is exactly where i want it to be. Yet i enjoy to sit down at my PC and go on FunnyJunk from time to time and have a laugh...

So explain what I am you silly little child... I've been on Funny Junk since it was in it's gold and green years.

You sir, have quite indeed been "Pwnt"

I've attached a picture of shit, and also a picture of cash cash. It clearly proves your statement "Shit was so cash" invalid. You, sir, are a dubass

You think you're tough ehh? Well my penis 4 INCHES

oh yeah? ill have you know i stubbed my toe watering my spice garden and i only cried for 20 minutes

I hear you can get mad thumbs for a copypasta...oh wait.