Ihop. . File: -( 20 KB, 310x386, HOP story, ipg) e Be 19 Living in my collegedood Doing school things Works at HOP Because college town, be swinging A group of
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Ihop

File: -( 20 KB, 310x386, HOP story, ipg)
e Be 19
Living in my collegedood
Doing school things
Works at HOP
Because college town, be swinging
A group of at guys comes in every night
Three are nice and tip well
Cine asshole
Asshole always gets 6 pancakes.
After 2 months of dealing with them . jpg
Asshole' s outweighs his friends' Likeability
Slowly developing cancer from asshole radiation
e seems like he hasn' t mentally evolved yet
probs bordering tard status
uge muskie's though
instead of going for direct confronts: ion i make a decision
going to slowly and methodically fuck his mind
Every night, one pancake gets more in nature
Maybe degrees on a day
Because i introduce the nickcage slowly he doesn' t notice for awhile
I watch happily and giddily as he chokes a cockface down
It begins to be the centerpiece of my day
Definably notices after it is straight up a big honkin' dick
Added whipped cream at the end of the urethra (blueberry)
Feel a storm brewin
I deliver his penor cake one fateful evening
He looks me dead in the face and asks me
Heyy -(deciphers nametag [letters hurt him]) a__ no___ n what is this shit?"
I don' t know
You better start talking or I' ll talk to your manager"
Manager... Iet us refer to him as C.
C is my best friend.
jpg
I' II go get him for you, faggot, sir."
Sneak in faggot cause feeling extra alpha
e notices, not happy.
Approach C and explain everything. He all of it, every detail
e is in on the conspiracy now
Props to C for his improv work.
e sneaks in about El penis related puns into his talk with asshole.
Paraphrasing , Sir, we don' around back here
My employees aren' t messing with souljunk
That mightiest be a coincidence
You need more evidence than one penis shaped pancake
Other tables overhear and enjoy giggles
DYING in the kitchen
Asshole scowls, pays walks out.
jpg
no way this motherfucker will come
Justin case, C gets every employee on our shift in on it
Dumb fucker comes back
sitting in different zone to not deal with me
doesnt matter
This was our night to bring so many Gallic references in
An army of workers ready to bring penis into every open conversation
we were armed and ready
Gentlemen, this was no ordinary penis assault
This was the All Harlow' s Eve of cock
All men replaced their nametags with an alias for a peen
Chuck, Dick, Peter, Johnson, and the Asian bashboy? Dong
All men stuffed their frontal pantaloons with things to give noticeable bulge
We plan the assault in waves
Phase I begins
First waiter comes, nametag Johnson
Takes orders, waves bulge in Assholes face
mother. fucking. pancakes.
fooi. jpg
Cue Dick
brings drinks, spills Assholes on himself in the cock region
Furiously cleans it 2 feet from Assholes face
Uproar in the kitchen
Total improv
All of our sides
other tables get shitty service and tips will be slim tonight
worth it
e mo more waves pass
e stands
Silence in the kitchen
e comes into the kitchen
we skitter
C takes over and calms him down
should have been a counselor
Final wave commence
he had seen Dong clean the previous spill and caught wind of the nametags after that
I stroll out
He looks pissed as fuck
I hand him not one, but six straight up cocks. No disputing
Bacon pubes, cherry herpes, whipped creampies
My nametag for this evening?
Penis
He rages and punches me cold
Wake up in the hospital
all employees are around my bed
Wake up to applause
Broken nose but oh so worth it
Never see him again
we are known henceforth as IEDC
International House of Cock
...
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Views: 47796
Favorited: 236
Submitted: 12/04/2013
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Comments(96):

[ 96 comments ]

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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#2 - thewalkingfrog (12/04/2013) [+] (6 replies)
This may have been posted countless times, but goddamn if it isn't one of my favorite greentexts.
#25 - latiel (12/04/2013) [+] (2 replies)
>be alpha
>always go to IHOP for pancakes with friends, having great time
>this fucking betacook has it in for me. don't know why. decide to ignore it. he's probably just jelly of dem gains.
>one day cook brings out dick pancakes
>say "what the fuck is this?"
>betacook calls me a faggot and brings out manager
>manager insults my intelligence
>next night, sit in a different section
>entire waitstaff are being assholes, calling me dick, putting their obviously-stuffed dicks in my face. they all have dick references on their nametags.
>is this some kind of gaybar/IHOP? wtf.jpg
>entire restaurant gets shitty service. everybody is raging.
>go to kitchen to figure out why betacook is being such a prick
>all the cooks cower and run
>betacook's nametag says penis on it. clearly dealing with a retarded person.
>he gives me six goddamn pancakes, all shaped like dicks with herpes. he has the stupidest fucking grin on his face.
> break his nose and knock him the fuck out in one hit. what a bitch.
> leave and never come back. If this is the kind of service IHOP gives its customers, I'll just go to denny's.
>mfw nobody called the cops because everyone knew I was in the right.
>I hear he was sent to the emergency room.
#6 - pappathethird (12/04/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#9 - jrondeau **User deleted account** (12/04/2013) [+] (1 reply)
My favorite greentext
#21 - tkfishandchips (12/04/2013) [+] (1 reply)
**tkfishandchips rolled a random image posted in comment #820904 at Anime & Manga - anime shows, anime games, anime art, manga ** *roll underserved sex joke*...
#19 - lookatmyhouseofwax (12/04/2013) [-]
Asian bussboy? Dong
Asian bussboy? Dong
#7 - sirbrentcoe (12/04/2013) [-]
a round of applause, OP.
a round of applause, OP.
User avatar #4 - darthsalias ONLINE (12/04/2013) [+] (2 replies)
op has mad my day to today. never tried to stop my laughing soooooo fucking hard in a long while
#10 - negrosheep (12/04/2013) [-]
I wasn't gong to read this at first, but all the comments applauded how funny it was, so I gave it a shot.  Worth.
I wasn't gong to read this at first, but all the comments applauded how funny it was, so I gave it a shot. Worth.
#3 - funkytrunks (12/04/2013) [-]
Oh sweet baby jesus that was good.
#50 - MaverickZero ONLINE (12/04/2013) [-]
Anon's FW nametag read "Penis".
Anon's FW nametag read "Penis".
User avatar #41 - joshwontwon (12/04/2013) [-]
why not just international house of penis?
#79 - anonymous (12/05/2013) [-]
pretty sure this never happened but it is funny
#74 - sniffythebird (12/05/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#58 - Mr Ronok (12/05/2013) [+] (3 replies)
Comment Picture
#64 to #58 - yoursandwitch ONLINE (12/05/2013) [-]
COCK!
COCK!
#43 - azraelthemage (12/04/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Everytime I see this, it never ceases to make me laugh.
Everytime I see this, it never ceases to make me laugh.
User avatar #39 - imagnetsux (12/04/2013) [-]
nigga thats gey
#38 - coreythebadass (12/04/2013) [-]
Troll in the dungeon...
Troll in the dungeon...
#37 - bloater (12/04/2013) [-]
I love every time i see this post.
#27 - lunasmidnight **User deleted account** (12/04/2013) [+] (4 replies)
>Gets reported
>Gets fired, as well as everyone who helped
>Not so alpha now
>Betting it wasn't worth. ;p
User avatar #30 to #27 - davidiskickin (12/04/2013) [-]
you must be fun at parties
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