Had me at McDickies

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sammae

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Once again another post from 4chan.
not sure if repost, just wanted to share with the community.

Hamplanet stories?
Hamplanet stories.
its me
its 17
Poorking at
Hint the orders 'cause I' m a peer ******
White Master Race checking in
Wooman semes in with hartke kids
Measily 400 lbs
kids are identical to her
I mean like they leek like 2 pieces of lard budded off w her and made two little amerifat bastards
semes up and asks fer E Mcduckles and a 20 piece chicken niglets
Okaythen' ll be___"
TM NOT DONE YETI cries the beast
then asks her kids what they want
How much feed does one walking adipose tissue need?
eiders about E more burgers (4 fer each kid)
semes butte almost all] dallars get fries and drinks
fumbles through her purse find a bunch of crumpled up dallars
s hem her purse
ever at the ene daughter
s sweating. and protruding from her pants is not a camel tee- not a meese knuckle, but what I call a mammoth hoof
beasts semes up 5 dollars short
Tll pay mu "
Urn, serry mam I can' t let Wu take seme ofthis feed"
land whale breathes in and screams "You can' t do that my kids are starving here"
vsuper manager Comes up behind me "Mam I thinkgeek' d last a few years"
Sherface turns red
scene like other ensues
tries to climb evanthe chunter and attackers manager
screaming
4 feared I would die by being crushed bythe earths second meen
up the chunter she falls back down and lands w ene of her kids taking them out
4 burst wt laughing.. everyine is laughing
then has a heart attack, no joke
wwtf
Wambulance semes
calves are crying
wall I can do is laugh
need other peoples help in there get her onto the stretcher
on lunch break at the subway down the street
4 might have given sameone a heart attack
4 may have killed sameone
kids may never see their mom again
vmy sandwich was delicious

...

+500

Views:	26128
Favorited:	52
Submitted:	04/15/2014

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+80

#8 - enigmaticspirit (04/15/2014) [-]

This is why, if I ever am forced to work in fast food, I would like to work at taco bell. I would much rather talk to stoners who act like you just saved their lives by handing them their food than a whale who demands a discount on breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies, afternoon milkshake, dinner, supper, and so on.

#47 to #8 - fuckingreposts (04/16/2014) [-]

I work at Mcdonald's (18, need money and 26 days till i graduate) and i just stay in the kitchen, i try my best to never work front counter because I've seen way too many fat ass white ladies order a ton of food and then get mad when she has to wait a couple minutes and people behind her get their food first cause they didn't order an entire cows worth of meat.

#30 to #8 - syfygeek (04/15/2014) [-]

if you're a britfag then you also need to include morning tea, afternoon tea, elevensies again, and evening tea.

#12 to #8 - sliferzpwns (04/15/2014) [-]

you forgot, brunch, lunch, dunch, linner, midnight feast, and fourth meal

#15 to #8 - jraftb (04/15/2014) [-]

i worked at taco bell when i was a senior in high school, it was a pretty chill job, didnt have any of this happen, and had a good time there

#13 to #8 - frenzyhero (04/15/2014) [-]

"Elevensies"
I don't think he knows, Pip!

+35

#4 - banjodance (04/15/2014) [-]

>mam, i think they'd last a few years

+53

#6 - drewthebrave (04/15/2014) [-]

the funniest part was "her calves were crying"

+12

#5 - xspencerxxx (04/15/2014) [-]

why do fat people all ways seem to be meaner than normal people?

#10 to #5 - drackmore (04/15/2014) [-]

I think it may be the high bloodpressure.

#14 to #5 - squamousness **User deleted account** (04/15/2014) [-]

Quick Tip:
a fat person's general santa-esque jolliness is directly proportional to their potential towering rage.

#11 to #5 - micekill (04/15/2014) [-]

fat people have either low selfesteem or real high self-esteem
so you either don't notice them or you hate them with all your heart

#7 to #5 - tealcanaan ONLINE (04/15/2014) [-]

Imagine how someone who is malicious enough to destroy their own body feels about others.

In all seriousness people who are obese usually are very infantile (instant gratification), and infantile people also suffer from short tempers and constant projection of their own inner turmoil (like babies). Depression is probably also a big part.

+24

#9 to #5 - kikisu (04/15/2014) [-]

You might not remember every nice fat person, because the ones that satisfy your views about fatties are more easily remembered. Its how superstitions get formed.

#18 to #9 - badgerbaiting (04/15/2014) [-]

Stereotypes exist for a reason. I personally feel that people that get to this magnitude of obesity (BMI of 30, BF% dependent on the individual) forfeit any right they have to making decisions regarding the care of their body. They should be put in mandatory camps and only be allowed to leave when they reach a healthy weight and understand that are literally killing themselves and costing the tax payer millions; contributing to rising health costs in the process.

Cruel and unfair, because that's how life is.

#20 to #18 - kikisu (04/15/2014) [-]

So anyone that's destroying themselves and costing tax payers should have their rights taken away? Like people who eat bad food, sit online all day, smoke, drink, participate in risky sex, drive dangerously, etc? Its an extremely slippery slope to say one group doesn't deserve their rights.

#22 to #20 - badgerbaiting (04/15/2014) [-]

If you are caught driving dangerously you can lose your license. Risky sex is usually down to a single error of judgement. I'm not condoning it. . Obesity happens over several years. Smokers are constantly informed how bad smoking is for them and should be obligated to pay their own health costs for afflictions caused by smoking. Same goes for alcoholism. Also tobacco and alcohol are taxed. Eating bad food and remaining sedentary for days usually causes obesity.

Let's also examine the costs:
-Smoking costs the NHS £2.7 billion, but tax on smokes is 78%.
-Alcohol costs the NHS £3.5 billion a year, but is also taxed (dependent on the strength of the beverage)
-Obesity costs the NHS £4.2 billion a year and is expected to rise to£6.3 billion a year (more than the other two combined) and there is no tax for being obese; on the contary there are often tax breaks. If one includes tax breaks etc. the figure rises to £15.8 billion (correct of 2007)

All figures taken from 2013 unless marked otherwise.

#23 to #22 - kikisu (04/15/2014) [-]

Obesity doesn't take years. I went from 160 to 230 in less than 6 months, I'm now losing it all again, but have hideous stretch marks from it. My bmi was 36 even though I wasn't that big. Its all about how your life is and what you're willing to do. When people are larger, they need help, not punishment. Taxing them would only make it worse, and wouldn't really deter anyone. Look at smoking and drinking, people know its horrible for them, its taxed heavily, and yet they still do it. What would taxing it solve?

#24 to #23 - badgerbaiting (04/15/2014) [-]

Still a greater time frame than STIs. I know from experience, those come out of nowhere (spoiler not for the easily disgusted) crabs, if you're wondering. . BMI isn't that accurate, I go via BF%, but that's dependent on several factors pertaining to the individual.

With regards to smoking and drinking, they make money for the public. Obesity is just a drain. I never suggested taxing it outright; I merely pointed out it's tax exempt compared to the others. I suggested nipping it in the bud so the obese don't continue to cost the taxpayer money over protracted periods of time, as shown by the woman above and countless other examples.

Congratulations on your weight loss. Use Vitamin-E, egg oil, retin-A to reduce stretch marks. Consult your dermatologist before taking my advice outright. These worked for my ex, but each to their own.

#25 to #24 - kikisu (04/15/2014) [-]

I use lemon juice to fade the color and if they're awful I might get surgery to reduce because they cover extremely large patches in all the places.

#26 to #25 - badgerbaiting (04/15/2014) [-]

Definitly talk to your Medical professional. What program are you using to lose weight?

#27 to #26 - kikisu (04/15/2014) [-]

No program. I have a sleep problem that for the last year was not controlled. Now that I have a job in a factory where I lift things up and put them down for 12 hours, and take my sleep medicine, I'm not gaining crazy weight. And I definitely have, they aren't really bad but they're bright red and don't fade.

+14

#1 - deezknuts (04/15/2014) [-]

>earth's second moon

+12

#28 - draeman (04/15/2014) [-]

< if anyone wants the gif.

#36 to #28 - anon (04/16/2014) [-]

can we get a story on this gif? some kinda context?

#61 to #36 - farblaze (04/16/2014) [-]

It's a fight. Vice-principal pushes down purple shirt to break it up.

#40 to #36 - FunkinWagglez (04/16/2014) [-]

"Man saves wife from land whale"
It was in the headlines last month.

#50 to #40 - thereasonableperso (04/16/2014) [-]

This gif is waaay older than that.

#3 - thetunnelsnakes (04/15/2014) [-]

That was the best story ever

+11

#38 - mordenkrad (04/16/2014) [-]

Paramedics: WE NEED SOME VOLUNTEERS TO HELP MOVE THIS LAND WHALE!
Le OP: I'm on Lunch!

#42 to #38 - jackknapp (04/16/2014) [-]

Y'all are in for a world of red after saying "le", brother.

#43 to #42 - synystyr (04/16/2014) [-]

( I don't think 'le' is bad in moderation )

#64 to #42 - mordenkrad (04/16/2014) [-]

In Quebec We use tend to throw french and english around without a thought <.<
My applogies

#48 to #42 - epriham (04/16/2014) [-]

he used it correctly in this case, so it's acceptable.

#19 - kuddman (04/15/2014) [-]

"mammoth hoof"

#49 - antiherojoshua (04/16/2014) [-]

#32 - mymommasallama (04/15/2014) [-]

i bet that sandwich tasted like pure satisFATion...... couldnt be less sorry

#58 - paelaer (04/16/2014) [-]

>Be 16
>Massive back pain from spinal issue
>Haven't gone to doctor, because doctor would just be like "Oh, take this ******* low-power vicodin and call me in the morning."
>Stagger into ******* Walmart for ******* candy, because I'm a fatass and I felt like eating something sweet to get my mind off my back
>Pass by a porkstar on a Rascal and the little hogbilly she called a son
>Make the mistake of not heeding this warning
>Get to the candy aisle
>Want ******* Swedish fish
>One bag left
>Reach for it
>Hogbilly just ******* tackles me, screaming "I SAW IT FIRST" in the most ear-wrenching white-trash accent imaginable
>I get knocked onto the floor and Hogbilly makes off with my Swedish Fish
>Get up
>MFW Hogbilly left the stench of unwashed street hooker's underwear dipped in surströmming wafting about the air
>MFW Hogbilly's tackle re-adjusted my spine