Don't you wish you had...?. Roll a picture in the comments to decide what you want more than anything... The "I'm d-daaaaaangerously cheesy" line sweetened me nicely.
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Don't you wish you had...?

Roll a picture in the comments to decide what you want more than anything.

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Views: 57262
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Submitted: 06/18/2014
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Comments(231):

[ 231 comments ]

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User avatar #4 - thequeenofslime (06/18/2014) [-]
The "I'm d-daaaaaangerously cheesy" line sweetened me nicely.
#6 - thedungeonmaster ONLINE (06/19/2014) [+] (5 replies)
"she wants to be ****** to death or **** a corpse"
#52 - tippidyt (06/19/2014) [+] (8 replies)
Bizarre sex story incoming.    
   
>Be me, 16-17 years old.   
>Been together with this crazy chick for approximately 1 year.   
>Just got a pair of handcuffs from a strip show in Italy.  Crazy story as well!    
>Crazy chick wants to cuff me to the radiator.   
>						*************					.jpeg.   
>She rides me like a maniac.  She's a horse girl, and dear god did she scream!    
>I reach climax and cum inside of her.   
>She looks at me like she's some evil mastermind who just got a new plan to destroy mankind.   
>She leans in over me, and whispers in my ear:   
>"Now I'm the man in this relationship"   
>She stands up and starts playing Beethoven's Symphony nr. 5, but with pussyfarts.   
>Can't do anything with my hands cuffed.   
>She just stands there laughing and farting.   
>Starts smearing it all over my body.   
>Semen starts to look like bubbly soap.    
   
   
MFW
Bizarre sex story incoming.

>Be me, 16-17 years old.
>Been together with this crazy chick for approximately 1 year.
>Just got a pair of handcuffs from a strip show in Italy. Crazy story as well!
>Crazy chick wants to cuff me to the radiator.
> ************* .jpeg.
>She rides me like a maniac. She's a horse girl, and dear god did she scream!
>I reach climax and cum inside of her.
>She looks at me like she's some evil mastermind who just got a new plan to destroy mankind.
>She leans in over me, and whispers in my ear:
>"Now I'm the man in this relationship"
>She stands up and starts playing Beethoven's Symphony nr. 5, but with pussyfarts.
>Can't do anything with my hands cuffed.
>She just stands there laughing and farting.
>Starts smearing it all over my body.
>Semen starts to look like bubbly soap.


MFW
#2 - platinuminfernape (06/18/2014) [+] (6 replies)
**platinuminfernape rolled image** This is what I want more than anything. Also op, get ready for a ******* of ****** ******* rolls, you asked for it
#8 - rumpadump (06/19/2014) [-]
'if you don't jiggle then you get the dickle'
'if you don't jiggle then you get the dickle'
#23 - hudge (06/19/2014) [+] (1 reply)
>Wants to **** a corpse
>Suicides over "UNRELATED" metal problems
#37 - imalamp (06/19/2014) [+] (5 replies)
**imalamp rolled image** LET'S SEE WHAT I WANT
#11 - anon (06/19/2014) [-]
DANGEROUSLY CHEESY
DANGEROUSLY CHEESY
#29 - dragondacorpse (06/19/2014) [-]
Mfw that black kid lost his composure and his milk
#5 - hobmidget (06/19/2014) [-]
**hobmidget rolled image** What I want more than anything
User avatar #47 - I Am Monkey (06/19/2014) [+] (5 replies)
>Live in apartment
>Going to take the elevator down to the vending machines
>Girl I know standing by elevator
>Realize that I don't have cash for vending machine
>I decide I'm going to ride the elevator down and then back up rather than awkwardly turning around
>She says she's bored and asks where I'm going
>I lie that I'm going to Duane Reade for paper towels, figuring that she definitely won't want to come there
>Says she'll come with me. Looks like I'm buying paper towels I don't need
>Get to the register and card gets declined
>Say their machine is broken rather than admit to having less than $3 in the bank
>Pretend to check balance on phone and say it's fine, it was a glitch
>She says we should go to the diner across the street
>No cash, 78 cents in the bank
> ****
#50 - crustysock (06/19/2014) [+] (12 replies)
how do you buy games with real steam money?   
   
stick it in the pc or somethin'?
how do you buy games with real steam money?

stick it in the pc or somethin'?
User avatar #35 - grimsho (06/19/2014) [-]
I'm pretty certain that nothing gets more sexually extreme than killing your partner, ******* the corpse, then reviving them. That permanently takes the cake.
#59 - latinotornado (06/19/2014) [+] (6 replies)
STORY TIME WITH SEBASTIAN
>Be 16 yr old me
>I was starting to get into kinky stuff
>Hanging out with some girl from a different part of town, lookin to just get lucky
>On our 2nd time hanging out we're over at her place just talking and listening to music
>She starts getting fresh with me
>Finally I just grab her and we jump onto her bed kissing
> **********
>we start a bit of foreplay with the touchin and the rubbin
>She tells me she likes kinky stuff
>I try to be all alpha and say "oh yea? I'v participated in a few kinky situations myself"
>She handcuffs me to the bed and starts kissing me all over my body, pretty mild
>She asks if I like pain
>ohjeezrick
>I try to sound tough and tell her yea
>She puts a pink blindfold on me, I have no idea the **** i'm about to endure
>intense burning sensation hits my chest and stomach
>I start yelling almost immediately
>it doesn't stop, it actually gets worse, more burning
>then the burning levels out and I think it's over
will continue in a reply, sorry this is so long
#60 to #59 - latinotornado (06/19/2014) [-]
Cont.
>out of ******* nowhere something slaps my stomach with the force of a paintball gun shot
>I'm making the noise of something between a scream and a yell at this point
>my stomach and chest are slapped like this for about another 45 seconds until it stops
>the blindfold comes off and she has one of those small hand whips with the straps hanging off them
>start cursing mad af
>Look down at my torso and see the marks she left, and also a bunch of bright red splotches, I scream thinking it was blood
>she starts freaking out and yells that it's candle wax from a red candle
>she uncuffs me, my wrists are raw
>i'm still yelling
>she says that I never said the safe word (which I never heard, and the safeword was banana bread for some **** all reason) and she thought I liked it
>I try to leave but she convinces me to stay
>I tell her fine and we end up doing it, afterwards I ask her what a 16 year old girl is doing with all that stuff
>shes confused and I find out she's 21
>She didn't know I was 16
>she drives me home and tells me it's best I don't text her or call her ever again
mfw the next morning I see my chest and realize it wasn't a dream
#53 - registeel (06/19/2014) [-]
I-I-Im dangeeeerously ch-cheeesy!
#14 - vishnarg (06/19/2014) [-]
"some scat version of phantom of the opera"
"some scat version of phantom of the opera"
#13 - barenakedqueens (06/19/2014) [-]
''My mom died once'' Contrary to dying more than once? This isn't DBZ, fool
#10 - mydogpikachu (06/19/2014) [-]
mfw i read the first story
mfw i read the first story
#124 - unicornattacks (06/19/2014) [+] (5 replies)
I have a lot of greentext stories, but surprisingly few about sex.
This is the closest I've got.
inb4 it's not in greentext format
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