Dating story

**cuntdestroyers rolled a random image posted in comment #2 at jimmies rustled ** MFW I'm the guy.

'She went to jail a couple months earlier'
'Went to jail couple months earlier'
'Couple months earlier'
'Earlier'

TIME TRAVEL

**wazzupnigga rolled a random image posted in comment #94 at comp ** who OP dated

**benedicto rolled a random image posted in comment #15 at Tara Strong, your furture self **ho i dated

>she went to jail a couple months earlier

so this story is in the future and she goes back in time and gets chased by the time police?

Alternate beginning: "Would you like to pay?"
"You're the man you have to pay you inconsiderate pig!"
Same ending

then they go on to complain they cant find a nice guy

okay how the fuck did you get her billing information and license plate if it's your first date >_>

> first date with girl
> we decide to see a stupid romantic comedy playing at 7:45
> she ends up taking forever to get ready so we miss the first screening
> arrive at 10:30 show, 20 minutes into the movie so i have to be one of those assholes that comes walking through
> she wants to sit at the very back
> fuck yes she wants me
> starving because i was waiting so long for her that i skipped dinner so i decide to eat before attempting to make a move
> mildly funny thing happens, a few people in the audience chuckle
> my date laughs
> like fucking LAUGHS and so goddamn loud people actually turn their heads at her and stare
> fuckingawkward.jpg
> she does the same thing at every slightly amusing moment (which is pretty often)and is pissing off everyone in the theater
> she's getting annoying but is easily a 9 so i put up with it
> actually got a headache from her laugh so i make up an excuse to leave
> ''I'm gonna go buy some more m&ms do you want anything?''
> ''NO. I CAN'T EVEN HEAR THE MOVIE OVER YOU. I CAME HERE TO WATCH THIS MOVIE AND YOU'RE BEING SO FUCKING DISTRACTING. LIKE GOD IT'S PISSING EVERYONE OFF.''
> mfw

MFW his date was a time traveller

Thought it was going to end

manage: "Are you going to be paying for that?"

guy: "Uhhhhh, *sigh* sure, how-how much will it be?"


............







"$3.50"

MFW

<-- "expensive as FUCK Italian restaurant"
lol OP you so silly

go to a restaurant for first date with a girl
>pick the table close to the toilets so I won't have to walk to far when I go for my postprandial shit
>the waiter asks what we would like to drink
>she orders red wine I order banana
>the waiter tells me they don't serve milkshake so I demand for a bowl of icecream
>date asks about strange order
>I say I am going to mush up the icecream and consume it, she is impressed but doesn't show it
>the waiter exhales heavily and slithers away
>awkward silence so I come in with the pick up line "what is your favourite dinosaur?"
>she says she doesn't know, I announce mine is a pterodactyl
>a few minutes later after recalling the plot of Jurassic Park 3, wine arrives for her

>First date
>Restaurant and I hate eating out
>Her chick friends show up randomly and sit next to her
>Cool with this
>Her dude friends show up sitting in the group
>Pushed to the outside
>Talks the whole movie with chick friends
>Everytime I try and join in I get the look
>She talks flirting and does stuff under the table with the dude across from her
>Fuck it. I don't know anyone here, I'm leaving.
>No one says anything as I get up and leave
>Late that night I get a text, "Hey great hanging out with you. I had a blast being together"

NO FUCK YOU.