Chris Hanster saves the day. . rar we poest childhood stories about ignorance. else me, around years as sewn pet hampster, chews ch cage at night stetting dark
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Chris Hanster saves the day

rar we poest childhood stories about ignorance.
else me, around years as
sewn pet hampster, chews ch cage at night
stetting dark outside
sthing a peeping mm is someone/ thant; who annoys you
Hell mm": there is a peeping tom in your
amen": cut window beore mu can explain youre talking meant the hampster
when": sees neighbor in yard from my window
sees sameone in window and waves
emck calls police
poolice show up to question man
swan panics and TUNE
seets arrested, police end up finding in his posessing
eget pedaphile thrown in jail thanks to noisy hampster
...
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Views: 49592
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Submitted: 04/26/2014
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Comments(113):

[ 113 comments ]
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#1 - ishallsmiteyou (04/26/2014) [+] (3 replies)
>7 years old
>sitting in tree
>principal yells "GET DOWN FROM THERE BEFORE YOU HURT YOURSELF!"
>see rabies-infested raccoon walking slowly towards him
>I try to warn him but he tells me to shut up
>being a dumbass I comply
>raccoon is now visibly pissed off from him yelling and screaming at me
>I get louder and louder trying to warn him
>he threatens me with suspension if I don't stop yelling and get down from the tree
>just then raccoon digs its teeth into his leg
>I'm laughing my ass off despite being terrified that the Hannibal Lecter of animals is underneath me
>yell "I tried to warn you!" down to principal
>he apologizes after returning from hospital
>mfw I get away without getting suspended thanks to a random rabid raccoon attack
#7 - vorarephilia ONLINE (04/27/2014) [+] (8 replies)
>1st grade.   
>everyone is getting up for lunch   
>hand on a chair   
>some kid trips.   
>accidentally slams chair against table, crushing my finger   
>insta bruse   
>show teacher my hurt middle finger.   
>MFW my finger hurt and I got silent lunch
>1st grade.
>everyone is getting up for lunch
>hand on a chair
>some kid trips.
>accidentally slams chair against table, crushing my finger
>insta bruse
>show teacher my hurt middle finger.
>MFW my finger hurt and I got silent lunch
#18 - shadowrated (04/27/2014) [+] (2 replies)
#17 - vatra (04/27/2014) [+] (11 replies)
>be seven,be a little 						****					 of a kid   
>teacher is going to have us play one of those games where someone has to figure something out the rest of the class knows   
>teacher picks me to be the one to figure it out so I get sent outside   
>teacher just says pick up you lunch pale, but don't come back in until I say   
>I get mad that I was singled out pace around stewing on it   
>get a little 						****					 of an idea   
>start walking back to classroom and kick another kid's lunch pale as hard as I can   
>ricochets off one of those brick walls with the really rough edges   
>pretend to trip over the lunch pale I just annihilated   
>throw self forward and end up bouncing my own face off the same aforementioned wall   
>hear entire class laugh   
>stand up intending to pretend to be hurt so I can go to the nurse to spite the teacher   
>blood runs down my face and into my eye   
>realize I'm actually hurt   
>get taken to nurse   
>she slaps a band aid on it   
>end of day mother picks me up   
>sees blood soaked bandage   
>she's a nurse so she checks it out   
>says I need stitches and get super 						*******					 pissed at my school for not calling her   
>go to hospital get patched up   
>mother says she's inclined to get teacher, assistant teacher and nurse all fired because no one deemed it necessary to call her when I needed stitches   
>I say it's okay   
MFW years later I realized I almost got three people fired and gave myself a permanent scar because no one told me we were playing a game.
>be seven,be a little **** of a kid
>teacher is going to have us play one of those games where someone has to figure something out the rest of the class knows
>teacher picks me to be the one to figure it out so I get sent outside
>teacher just says pick up you lunch pale, but don't come back in until I say
>I get mad that I was singled out pace around stewing on it
>get a little **** of an idea
>start walking back to classroom and kick another kid's lunch pale as hard as I can
>ricochets off one of those brick walls with the really rough edges
>pretend to trip over the lunch pale I just annihilated
>throw self forward and end up bouncing my own face off the same aforementioned wall
>hear entire class laugh
>stand up intending to pretend to be hurt so I can go to the nurse to spite the teacher
>blood runs down my face and into my eye
>realize I'm actually hurt
>get taken to nurse
>she slaps a band aid on it
>end of day mother picks me up
>sees blood soaked bandage
>she's a nurse so she checks it out
>says I need stitches and get super ******* pissed at my school for not calling her
>go to hospital get patched up
>mother says she's inclined to get teacher, assistant teacher and nurse all fired because no one deemed it necessary to call her when I needed stitches
>I say it's okay
MFW years later I realized I almost got three people fired and gave myself a permanent scar because no one told me we were playing a game.
#10 - twoderrick (04/27/2014) [+] (5 replies)
>11 years old
>helping my dad fix the plumbing
>he says "bring me a PBP pipe"
>I return with it and say "I brought the PCP pipe"
>my dad says "I wish it was a PCP pipe"
>It goes over my head
>MFW I realized what he meant years later
#21 - stadlerman (04/27/2014) [-]
When I was younger I thought that gasoline was able to spontaneously catch fire because I didn't understand how combustion worked. One time my dad spilled gasoline on our driveway and I flipped 						****					 because I thought our house was going to burn down.
When I was younger I thought that gasoline was able to spontaneously catch fire because I didn't understand how combustion worked. One time my dad spilled gasoline on our driveway and I flipped **** because I thought our house was going to burn down.
User avatar #44 - killazdeath (04/27/2014) [+] (6 replies)
CP?
User avatar #51 to #44 - cirruss ONLINE (04/27/2014) [-]
don't listen to him. its cheese pizza
#60 - maxsexington (04/27/2014) [-]
>be white boy aged 6
>outside shop with sweets
>see tallest man i ever seen at that age
>at same time the very 1st black man i ever seen
>ask if he plays for NBA

>be 10
>on first trip to New York
>need to piss so drop into expensive hotel with Uncle
>big heavy hard black body guards blocking path to toilets
>Uncle and I move around looking for more toilets
>find one n take a piss
>wash our hands then make out way out
>guy in middle bathroom stall comes out dressed like a nigerian prince
>body guards confused when we walk past

>be 15 and bought a camroon soccer shirt because it looked awesome
>wore it around the city and sat down by busstop
>load of black tourists offload
>see the whitest boy ever wearing their soccer team shirt
>be surrounding by a load of claping happy black people and i start to get a crowd
>get photos taken with me
>Mwf i'm an embassador to my race

#2 - theannoyingFJguy (04/27/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#48 - mankey (04/27/2014) [-]
We finally got that sick son of a bitch! Sunflower seeds for everyone!
#24 - jzwangpk (04/27/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Hampster.
Hampster.
#57 - kasperscar (04/27/2014) [-]
I was a little 						****					 of a kid. I was about 4 when i locked my mother out on the 6th story balcony and the door broke so she was like stuck out there. So i was freaking out as she was yelling for me to get the phone (there was a small gap on one of the the slide doors cause it was a pre 						****					 apartment)  So she has to call the police to come help get her out. They end up coming into the apartment and i hide like instantly... under a blanket in the middle of the lounge room floor which was connected to the balcony door. I was so scared about the police arresting me or something.   
   
This .gif pretty much sums up some of the things I used to do.
I was a little **** of a kid. I was about 4 when i locked my mother out on the 6th story balcony and the door broke so she was like stuck out there. So i was freaking out as she was yelling for me to get the phone (there was a small gap on one of the the slide doors cause it was a pre **** apartment) So she has to call the police to come help get her out. They end up coming into the apartment and i hide like instantly... under a blanket in the middle of the lounge room floor which was connected to the balcony door. I was so scared about the police arresting me or something.

This .gif pretty much sums up some of the things I used to do.

User avatar #56 - welfarekid (04/27/2014) [-]
Once when I was younger, I was talking about my teeth.
I may have been trying to say 'pegs' or 'pearly whites'
but nope
I tell my mom, "I've got a mouth full of peckers."
User avatar #34 - evilanakie (04/27/2014) [+] (4 replies)
i didnt know the diffrence between tourist and terrorist
#75 - Tyranitar (04/27/2014) [-]
>Me, 5 years old
>Meets neighbor for first time
>Rather skinny, but tall African-American gentleman with a shaven head
>I like to watch talk shows with my mom at this age
>I ask the man if he is Montel Williams
#3 - darkpotato (04/27/2014) [+] (3 replies)
**darkpotato rolled image** So...i was like..hampster?..isnt that wrong?I went to google translate to check it out and be sure I am not a completely retard..i put in hampster to translate to my language and asked me if i meant xhamster thats a porn site
#14 to #5 - collegedood (04/27/2014) [-]
**collegedood rolled image**   
I roll a picture on every one of my comments too.   
sue me
**collegedood rolled image**
I roll a picture on every one of my comments too.
sue me
#77 - superanonymouspers (04/27/2014) [+] (7 replies)
>be in kindergarten
>teacher says its time to wake up from naptime
>promptly get up and go do kindergarten things
>teacher wants me to wake up girl who is still sleeping
>walk over to her and pusher a little "hey get up"
>bitch still sleeping
>"come on the teacher said its time to wake up."
>didn't want to fail teacher
>grab girls arm and bite the mother ******
>she wakes up and starts crying
>"you told me to wake her up!"
>get suspended
>MFW I did what I was told and got in trouble
#50 - midothegreat (04/27/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#92 - notaboss (04/27/2014) [-]
>Be me, 7 years old
>Riding in dad's new Mustang
>Get stuck in traffic
>Dad is pissed, flips off slow drivers in front of us
>Shouts "GO FASTER!" while flipping bird
>Be a few days later
>Walking down our neighborhood sidewalk with friends
>Friend's mom drives by really slowly
>Remember what dad did to tell people to go faster
>Flip off my friend's mom
>She looks horrified
>immediately turns around drives back to my house

>Mom asks me what that gesture means
>"Go faster!"
>Mom asks me where I learned to do that

Dad's face when I ratted him out
User avatar #22 - redstonealchemist (04/27/2014) [+] (1 reply)
when i was younger (around 6-8) i liked to explore my local area (which is weird because three people were murdered on my street alone) and while walking home one day two boys about two years older than me asked me to show them my penis and i honestly didn't know if that was good or bad, so for the first, last and only time i was in that kind of situation, my panic thought straight to "what would my mum say?"
when i got home and told my mum i didn't show them she said "good boy"
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