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British toilet etiquette

I' heard the average German male spends twice as long on the toilet as the average British male. Why is this?
The average British male is called Rankled and spends no time whatsoever on the toilet
...
+705
Views: 27003
Favorited: 17
Submitted: 01/05/2016
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Reply
+24
#4 - thearcher (01/05/2016) [-]
We just don't like the idea of people being able to hear us taking a **** - simple
Reply
+83
User avatar #6 to #4 - grimfuck (01/05/2016) [-]
there was a shy ******* in the stall next to me at work. I could hear muffled attempts at pushing.
So I decided to just let loose and force the loudest nastiest **** I could shat. Dude opened up and got over his fear and started to let loose as well.

Its good for you to have nice large ***** , getting yourself backed up is a bad idea
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+21
User avatar #13 to #6 - assrocket (01/06/2016) [-]
A giant among men.
Reply
+12
User avatar #39 to #6 - devilicious (01/06/2016) [-]
With some help, that could become a good motivational video.
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+136
#10 - lulzdealer (01/06/2016) [-]
>When Raj says there isn't a boo in the loo
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+46
User avatar #11 to #10 - warioteam (01/06/2016) [-]
they didnt even get the song right
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+36
User avatar #27 to #11 - bendingtimeisgood ONLINE (01/06/2016) [-]
They changed the lyrics to avoid swearing. Not sure why, but that's why they're different.
Reply
+38
User avatar #2 - dalokan (01/05/2016) [-]
D E S I G N A T E D
Reply
0
User avatar #58 to #2 - tarabostes (01/06/2016) [-]
D A L O K A N
A
L
O
K
A
N
Reply
0
User avatar #63 to #2 - djequalizee (01/06/2016) [-]
P O O I N L O O
O
O
I
N
L
O
O
Reply
+5
User avatar #46 to #2 - kaitora (01/06/2016) [-]
A E S T H E T I C S
Reply
0
User avatar #57 to #46 - tarabostes (01/06/2016) [-]
*Floral Shoppe intensifies*
Reply
+26
#3 to #2 - archonn (01/05/2016) [-]
S H I T T I N G
Reply
+23
User avatar #9 to #3 - bobbydahobo (01/06/2016) [-]
street
Reply
+29
User avatar #30 to #3 - lennylorenzo (01/06/2016) [-]
S T R E E T S

U

P

E

R

P

O

W

E

R

2

0

2

0
0
#66 to #30 - blokrokker has deleted their comment [-]
Reply
+7
User avatar #1 - misternobodie (01/05/2016) [-]
R A N J E E D
A
N
J
E
E
D
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+4
User avatar #12 to #1 - warioteam (01/06/2016) [-]
R  A  N  J  E  E  D
A
N
J
E
E
D
double space pls
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0
#15 to #12 - anon (01/06/2016) [-]
R A N J E E D
A N J E E D
N J E E D
J E E D
E E D
E D
D

Had to try it
Reply
+1
#17 to #15 - anon (01/06/2016) [-]
R A N J E E D
A N J E E D R
N J E E D R A
J E E D R A N
E E D R A N J
E D R A N J E
D R A N J E E
Reply
+1
User avatar #16 to #15 - warioteam (01/06/2016) [-]
R A N J E E D
A N J E E D
N J E E D
J E E D
E E D
E D
D
E D
E E D
J E E D
N J E E D
A N J E E D
R A N J E E D
Reply
+1
#47 to #16 - assholy (01/06/2016) [-]
R A N J E E D D E E J N A R
A N J E E D D E E J N A
N J E E D D E E J N
J E E D D E E J NUTZ
E E D D E E
E D D E
D D
E D D E
E E D D E E
J E E D D E E J This is the kind of thing that I did while working at customer service
N J E E D D E E J N
A N J E E D D E E J N A
R A N J E E D D E E J N A R
Reply
+34
#19 - europe (01/06/2016) [-]
Funny thing to say, considering the amount of immigrants in Germany ******** in the parks
Reply
+12
#25 to #19 - kurbeh (01/06/2016) [-]
Germany is getting immigrants from the middle east, not India.
They can use toilets over there. Also explosives, but better have a blown up street than a street full of **** .
Reply
+3
#28 to #25 - anon (01/06/2016) [-]
>implying we didn't get "refugees" from pakistan, india, north/middle africa and gypsies from the balkans
ich wette erst jeder 2 flüchtling ist aus dem mittleren osten
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+4
#29 to #28 - kurbeh (01/06/2016) [-]
No you can't invade Poland.
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0
User avatar #26 to #25 - europe (01/06/2016) [-]
>thinking all the 'refugees' are actually from the middle-east
That's real cute
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+3
User avatar #38 to #26 - pickaxe ONLINE (01/06/2016) [-]
I don't think he's talking about the immigrants.
We've been importing turks as a workforce for ages.
Reply
+2
User avatar #43 to #38 - badgoodass (01/06/2016) [-]
Pretty much, since 1945, idk why the rant about this only started with the Syrian war
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0
User avatar #61 to #43 - tarabostes (01/06/2016) [-]
A-Add back pls
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0
#54 to #38 - anon (01/06/2016) [-]
"workforce"
Der eine Geldwäsche-Dönerladen in deiner Stadt zählt nicht als Arbeitsmacht, Schatzi
Reply
+9
User avatar #32 - thebritishguy (01/06/2016) [-]
I'm British and it's probably because if you spend too long on the toilet people start joking that you were having a wank
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0
User avatar #35 to #32 - listerthepessimist (01/06/2016) [-]
basically this
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0
User avatar #60 to #32 - utburd (01/06/2016) [-]
L2 multitask
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+8
#36 - anon (01/06/2016) [-]
The reason Germans spend so long on the toilet is they're busy trying to work the stick out of their arse. Also they don't have to worry about getting out to get a sunbed, since they got up before dawn and annexed them all already.
Reply
+3
#41 to #36 - anon (01/06/2016) [-]
GIF
And if there are any Germans who are offended by what I said, please let me know by sending me a letter to:

1966 El Alamein Square,
1939-1945 Jutland Street,
London,
WE1.
Reply
+1
User avatar #51 to #41 - lejunkyfaceman ONLINE (01/06/2016) [-]
no
Reply
0
#55 to #41 - anon (01/06/2016) [-]
>annexing
>bad
Stop discriminating my culture you problematic ********
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+4
#31 - anotherhaloguy (01/06/2016) [-]
When your base diet is Sausage and Beer, theres not much time spent off the toilet
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+2
User avatar #33 to #31 - handsomestalin (01/06/2016) [-]
I feel that with a diet like that it'd just fly out real fast and you wouldn't need to spend too much time there
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+5
#7 - adzoh (01/06/2016) [-]
Well the average German male is called Mohammed and is glad to be given such luxuries as toilets
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+2
#45 - maggiebella (01/06/2016) [-]
2 x 0 = 0 now i get it
Reply
-3
#49 to #45 - schneidend ONLINE (01/06/2016) [-]
2 * 0 + 2 = 2
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0
User avatar #62 to #45 - tarabostes (01/06/2016) [-]
FUKKEN SAVED
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+2
User avatar #34 - mikeypooh (01/06/2016) [-]
because british people puts beans in everything which kind of just pushes everything out in one big fart. and germans have brautworst. brautworsts will get you after a while like fast food
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+2
User avatar #24 - ljxjlos (01/06/2016) [-]
I´m german and I spend hours on the toilet when I´m at home.

Mostly because it´s the only goddamn playe in the house where I can actually get 10 minutes of silence and relaxing.
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0
User avatar #14 - bestestname ONLINE (01/06/2016) [-]
>Germans laughing about Brits because they have immigrants
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+1
User avatar #20 to #14 - huszti (01/06/2016) [-]
no, because they have INDIAN immigrants. we dont have indians here.
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+1
#40 to #20 - anon (01/06/2016) [-]
Germany had 76,000 immigrants from India in 2014

in the same year the UK had 64,000

Source: ONS Migration data/Federal Statistical Office of Germany

sorry
Reply
0
User avatar #42 to #40 - huszti (01/06/2016) [-]
its "total indians in country", not "indians coming to country in year X"
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+1
#44 to #42 - anon (01/06/2016) [-]
both statistics are from migration figures for 2014

according to the German government, there were 110,000 Indians residing in Germany in 2009
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+1
User avatar #53 to #44 - huszti (01/06/2016) [-]
pls tell me if my math is off but 720k indians living in the UK is more than 110k indians living in germany, or not?
Reply
0
#65 to #53 - anon (01/06/2016) [-]
and here I am thinking we were talking about recent immigration
0
#52 to #44 - huszti has deleted their comment [-]
Reply
0
User avatar #22 to #20 - lmOldGreg ONLINE (01/06/2016) [-]
What you do have is large amounts of feral North African muslims. I'll take Indian Sikh's over that any day of the week thanks.
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+2
User avatar #37 to #22 - listerthepessimist (01/06/2016) [-]
if it wasn't for Sikhs I wouldn't be able to get tobacco on a Sunday
Reply
0
#56 to #22 - anon (01/06/2016) [-]
N-no, those people are qualified workingforces, eager to integrate and to bring more diversity to Germany! Those were just 1000 individual cases in Cologne, generalizing is wrong! Sh-shut up you NAZI
Reply
+1
#64 - anon (01/06/2016) [-]
arabic population of britain: 4.2%
arabic population of germany: 4.6%

i'm just super saiyan
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+1
User avatar #50 - improbable (01/06/2016) [-]
0 times 2 = 0
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+1
#48 - turbanmasher (01/06/2016) [-]
The reason germans spend so much time on the toilet is they need to save up gas for later...
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+1
#21 - imbehindu (01/06/2016) [-]
2x0=0

No I'm not British, just saying.....
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0
#5 - anon (01/05/2016) [-]
Twice as much of nothing is nothing.
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0
User avatar #23 - distortedflare ONLINE (01/06/2016) [-]
Using British is retarded. The scots have nearly no Muslims or blacks in most towns and cities excluding Edinburgh not sure about glassgow.
0
#8 - failtolawl has deleted their comment [-]
 
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