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Anons life is over

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My life is over.
to go over my Grandmother' s house in Alaska from the 23rd - 28th
mom says I have to interact so I have to leave my body pillow, laptop, and phone back at home
over. they have a huge house
enough rooms for each individual adult so I have to sleep with the kids in a big room (18)
grandma doesn' t know how ****** up I arm
Liittle cousin is adopted and is a sweet asian Iole
******** horny
oi take her panties in the middle ofthe night and run to the bathroom to beat it
uncle catches me creeping back with cum soaked panties
looks disgusted
says get the **** away
backto the room and throw panties
next day she is telling everyone that she is missing a pair of panties
knows
I don' t know if he told anyone.
oi have to leave my body pillow, laptop, and phone back at home
Moody pillow
ijizz in cousin' s panties
Your We was already over.
...
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Views: 40011
Favorited: 64
Submitted: 12/30/2015
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102 comments displayed.
#26 - howaminotdeadyet (12/31/2015) [-]
The way he casually mentions the body pillow was what told me I was in for a ride
#6 - cuteasiangirls (12/30/2015) [-]
kinda related?
User avatar #8 to #6 - UNIQUELOL (12/30/2015) [-]
am I mistaken or has 6 inches always been below average ?

last I checked 5 inches was average
#9 to #8 - anon (12/30/2015) [-]
5 to 5-and-a-half is the average, yeah

The vast, vast majority of dicks are between 5 and 6 inches
Like to the point where believing someone claiming they have even 8 inches is kinda dumb.
User avatar #10 to #9 - UNIQUELOL (12/30/2015) [-]
right ?
User avatar #14 to #8 - kriml (12/30/2015) [-]
Let just everyone think they are above average. Most of my friends believe they are slightly above average, but the lenghts range from 5-7. (From what they told me. No homo.)
#91 to #14 - anon (12/31/2015) [-]
Its ok dude, ******* guys is straight cuz it shows just how manly you are

Its touching those female things when you have to say no homo
User avatar #87 to #14 - ironsoul (12/31/2015) [-]
Why are your friends telling you their penis sizes?
Why do you remember them?
#114 to #87 - kriml (12/31/2015) [-]
We kinda had a dick talk one time on a school trip while drunk.
User avatar #146 to #114 - cognosceteipsum (12/31/2015) [-]
"School trip"
"While drunk" are you guys Russians?
User avatar #152 to #146 - kriml (12/31/2015) [-]
Not quite, but you got the Eastern Europe right.
User avatar #153 to #152 - cognosceteipsum (12/31/2015) [-]
Bulgaria?
#16 to #8 - imjared (12/30/2015) [-]
>6inches always been below average
>5 inches was average
wut?
User avatar #32 to #8 - capinsquiggles (12/31/2015) [-]
The average flaccid penis was found to be 9.16 cm (3.61 inches) long, whereas the average erect penis is 13.12 cm (5.16 inches) in length. In terms of girth, the average circumference of a flaccid penis turned out to be 9.31 cm (3.66 inches), and 11.66 cm (4.59 inches) for an erect one. Hurray for being above average

Source www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/new-study-probes-average-penis-size
#96 to #8 - anon (12/31/2015) [-]
I think that people who post average penis size posts are just trying to make it seem that having a small dick is ok. I'm not hung like long dong silver but i'm happy with my 7L 6G penis. Now that you guys know the heat i'm packing I want you to rub lotion on your nipples and listen to gay fish. Have a nice night
-5
#100 to #96 - nanacacapoopoo has deleted their comment [-]
#2 - akulakhan (12/30/2015) [-]
Okay, that's just 			******		 up.
Okay, that's just ****** up.
#4 - penelo (12/30/2015) [-]
Hey, maybe my life ain't so bad
#37 to #4 - anon (12/31/2015) [-]
Yeah, because there's people having a bad day at guantanamo bay your life is good.
No way that's in relative terms, it absolute terms it still sucks.
User avatar #104 to #37 - penelo (12/31/2015) [-]
be quiet anon
#1 - secretzx (12/30/2015) [-]
Each and every single one of these posts that I read makes me feel more and more like a normal person.
User avatar #3 to #1 - kennyh (12/30/2015) [-]
>casually admiting to having a body pillow

Yea I'm pretty normal.

[/spoiler]I'm assuming it's one of those **** pillows with an anime character on it and not a regular body pillow[/spoiler]
User avatar #5 to #3 - unlithe (12/30/2015) [-]
i have a body pillow. i use that **** as a ******* pillow. people are weird.
#7 to #5 - LordBlackforest (12/30/2015) [-]
Speak for yourself pillow ****** .
User avatar #17 to #5 - erotictentacle (12/30/2015) [-]
Does it have a scantly clad anime girl/monstergirl printed on it in a suggestive position?
User avatar #43 to #17 - unlithe (12/31/2015) [-]
no. it has a elongated grey pillow cover on it.
User avatar #85 to #43 - ironsoul (12/31/2015) [-]
I have one of those. I just refer to it as a full length pillow so people don't get the wrong idea.
User avatar #103 to #43 - erotictentacle (12/31/2015) [-]
Then i have one too, just in navy blue.
User avatar #110 to #103 - tarabostes (12/31/2015) [-]
Dirty slut
User avatar #127 to #110 - erotictentacle (12/31/2015) [-]
Oh, you have no idea~
User avatar #136 to #127 - tarabostes (12/31/2015) [-]
~show me dem tiddies~
User avatar #137 to #136 - erotictentacle (12/31/2015) [-]
Dinner and movie first, buddy~
User avatar #139 to #137 - tarabostes (12/31/2015) [-]
~Eat **** and watch The Notebook then
User avatar #140 to #139 - erotictentacle (12/31/2015) [-]
but you have to do it with me~
User avatar #141 to #140 - tarabostes (12/31/2015) [-]
But they're both ~ pieces of **** .
User avatar #143 to #141 - erotictentacle (12/31/2015) [-]
That means you won't get any of this tentacle~
User avatar #149 to #143 - tarabostes (12/31/2015) [-]
Can I stick my dick inside it?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
User avatar #150 to #149 - erotictentacle (12/31/2015) [-]
... no, it doesn't have an entrance
#151 to #150 - tarabostes (12/31/2015) [-]
Yeah but it has those sticky things on it
User avatar #145 to #141 - cognosceteipsum (12/31/2015) [-]
Oh my god when are you gonna stop hitting on people you thirsty ****
User avatar #148 to #145 - tarabostes (12/31/2015) [-]
When Bernie Sanders gets elected president
User avatar #124 to #43 - hwangnuneo (12/31/2015) [-]
isn't that a bolster, then?
User avatar #156 to #124 - unlithe (12/31/2015) [-]
nope since its pillow shaped.
#38 to #5 - anon (12/31/2015) [-]
**** people use those as pillows? I stuffed mine in the space between the bed and the wall.
User avatar #44 to #38 - unlithe (12/31/2015) [-]
i'm a pretty restless sleeper so it helps me not **** up the pillow configuration
User avatar #97 to #44 - scandalouszander ONLINE (12/31/2015) [-]
i hear you man, i actually have two so theres one on each side of me keeps me from having to remake the bed every day
User avatar #111 to #97 - tarabostes (12/31/2015) [-]
Faggit
User avatar #89 to #5 - ttallonn (12/31/2015) [-]
Ive had my body pillow for so long and I cant help but worry when I say somethign about it that people will think its one like that, when its actually one ive had for years with just a green plaid patter on it
#55 to #3 - anon (12/31/2015) [-]
...OP admits to having a body pillow. The person you're responding to (secretzx), never says anything about one. You're a ******* idiot.
User avatar #129 to #55 - kennyh (12/31/2015) [-]
I was agreeing with him. I also was referring to the person in the post. But I know to someone with 6 brain cells contextual reading is difficult
#42 - doctorprofessornv (12/31/2015) [-]
I would say this went from 0 to 100 hella quick, but really it was already going about 50 from the get-go.
#12 - caseris (12/30/2015) [-]
I'm pretty ****** up myself, but this is on another level...
#31 - becauseoprahsaidso (12/31/2015) [-]
Why was he walking around with a small pair of panties in his hand at night? Did he not have pockets? ******* pleb
#112 to #31 - tarabostes (12/31/2015) [-]
I'd jack it to your panties if you know what I mean ;)
User avatar #35 to #31 - cormy (12/31/2015) [-]
Absolutely Disgusting.jpg
>Putting cum soaked panties in your pocket.
Have some decency man.
User avatar #63 to #35 - darknak ONLINE (12/31/2015) [-]
>beating it and cumming in your cousin's panties
i think there's not any decency left already
User avatar #65 to #63 - cormy (12/31/2015) [-]
Correct, that is the joke.
User avatar #66 to #65 - darknak ONLINE (12/31/2015) [-]
yeah sorry^^
#50 to #35 - ftsfts ONLINE (12/31/2015) [-]
Well if he didn't have the decency or anything to keep him from taking a child's panties and jerking into them at night why should we expect him to be any better than putting cum soaked panties in his pocket?
User avatar #58 to #50 - cormy (12/31/2015) [-]
that'sthejoke.jpg
#34 - mattymc (12/31/2015) [-]
I've done some some dumb things
I've done some immoral things
I've done some things that I've tried to forget with drugs and alcohol

But at least I didn't do that
#29 - brobathehutt (12/31/2015) [-]
I feel a little better about myself.
#36 - sniffythebird ONLINE (12/31/2015) [-]
>body pillow
#20 - spartantoaster ONLINE (12/31/2015) [-]
sometimes I think I'm a creep then I look at this and feel better
#18 - totallytito (12/30/2015) [-]
So what was that about Loli being "just a fetish"?

I could forgive the body pillow, laptop, and phone.
We're a modern generation and all and prefer a digital enhancement for our lives,
and I could even forgive the crush on the cousin.

But a little underage child? I find it unforgivable.
#95 to #18 - kurbeh (12/31/2015) [-]
Well he did not actually bang the child.
Could be worse.
#119 to #18 - aerosol (12/31/2015) [-]
You would really forgive the crush on his little cousin?
User avatar #121 to #119 - totallytito (12/31/2015) [-]
I think its ok to crush on relatives in your age group as long as you dont act on it.
But not on children
User avatar #21 to #18 - labree (12/31/2015) [-]
>one person takes it too far
>probably fake
>suddenly not a fetish

i bet you believe that when one person shoots another person that suddenly means all gun owners are murderers too.
#25 to #21 - totallytito (12/31/2015) [-]
You know what?
You're right.

This is the same logic people apply to MLP, Steven universe, Undertale, and OnePunchMan.
It sure would be silly to have a handful of people, let alone one man represent an entire fandom. Right?
User avatar #27 to #25 - labree (12/31/2015) [-]
i cant tell if your sarcastic.
#28 to #27 - totallytito (12/31/2015) [-]
Not at all.
I'll admit that I'm wrong when I'm wrong.
I made a poorly thought out statement at first, and you brought up something important
when it comes to alienating people unfairly.

Why fight rational thinking?
I've got no reason to counter it.
#80 to #28 - goodername (12/31/2015) [-]
Stop it. This is not how the internet works. You have to at least continue the argument until someone compares the other to Hitler.
#90 to #80 - sherlockbatman (12/31/2015) [-]
**sherlockbatman used "*roll picture*"**
**sherlockbatman rolled image**
know who else liked a challenge?
Hitler!
User avatar #92 to #90 - wdparsell (12/31/2015) [-]
Reading that sentence in her voice makes all the difference.
0
#24 to #21 - totallytito has deleted their comment [-]
#39 to #18 - karenoniks (12/31/2015) [-]
There is a difference between wanking to drawings and straight up manifesting your pedophilia.
#41 to #18 - vorarephilia (12/31/2015) [-]
I forgot what Tito sounds like, so I have begun reading your posts in Hermes voice.

I have nothing better else to contribute than that.
User avatar #71 to #41 - dlman (12/31/2015) [-]
Boku no Tito

Aloha bruddah
User avatar #72 to #71 - vorarephilia (12/31/2015) [-]
you get a thumb, but I oddly like the Hermes voice and don't want the illusion broken just yet.
User avatar #81 to #72 - fuzzysixx ONLINE (12/31/2015) [-]
You are right. It was much better before I saw the video.
#69 - jalthelas (12/31/2015) [-]
Who the 			****		 beats it into their little cousin's panties
Who the **** beats it into their little cousin's panties
User avatar #106 to #69 - starfletcher (12/31/2015) [-]
>Adopted cousin

....but yeah still weird.
User avatar #134 to #106 - handsomestalin (12/31/2015) [-]
I don't think the cousin part was what was bothering him the most
#120 to #69 - aerosol (12/31/2015) [-]
That guy, apparently.
User avatar #126 to #69 - ludislavonac (12/31/2015) [-]
A pedophile
#22 - CakemanRPG (12/31/2015) [-]
Though I'm a seasoned foot connoisseur, something I consider to be creepy and not very proud of, I just don't understand this **** .
User avatar #33 to #22 - commoncrunch (12/31/2015) [-]
it's called fetishes, m8
User avatar #53 to #33 - questionableferret ONLINE (12/31/2015) [-]
Fetishes don't MAKE you do that stuff. They don't even make you WANT to do that stuff. They just make you aroused by that stuff. There are people with a fetish for ******* people in their eye-holes for crying out loud but that doesn't make them ************ , ************ is what makes someone a *********** .

Creeping over an asian loli and panty-wanking over her is just ******* freaky.
User avatar #56 to #53 - defski (12/31/2015) [-]
Pedophilia is not a crime. Actually acting upon it, is.
User avatar #57 to #56 - questionableferret ONLINE (12/31/2015) [-]
Pretty much. If you gotta pedo, then find some lolicon hentai or something. Technically it's not illegal in most western nations and at least you're not gonna be ******* kids.

*sigh* Fetishes, man.
#70 to #57 - commoncrunch (12/31/2015) [-]
Finally, another FJ user that doesn't condemn anything related to loli/pedophilia outright, completely, irrationally, unreasonably, and immediately. You're actually willing to listen.
User avatar #76 to #70 - questionableferret ONLINE (12/31/2015) [-]
Uh, I dunno where you've been but this site has been pretty ******* ****** up for a while now, man. I mean, loli jokes are par for the course. Most people here probably just consider it like "You be you, man." and just get on with their day whilst there are a few that are like "Eww, sickies!"
#123 to #70 - aerosol (12/31/2015) [-]
Can you really blame them? It's kids, man.
User avatar #74 - Viceroy ONLINE (12/31/2015) [-]
I like how he mentioned she was adopted. It's good to know he draws the line at incest.
#88 - IamPinhead (12/31/2015) [-]
I had a dream once that I gave up lifting and turned into a dirty pocky-munching weeb. It's that dream and posts like these that remind me why I must never give up the iron or the drive for self improvement.
0
#99 to #88 - cough has deleted their comment [-]
#54 - defski (12/31/2015) [-]
#93 to #54 - einsampibroch (12/31/2015) [-]
Dude, Black Jack is my favorite Anime, but, not to bash him or anything, he's definitely Lolicon, and/or really into dolls. When he makes Pinoko her body, he already has doll cast shells ready, and it's definitely those hollow bjd parts too. Sure Black Jack is a surgeon, but there is no way in hell there'd be a full-body prosthetic as Pinoko would need, even if he is a demon capable fashioning one on the spot with 'synthetic fiber.' He never even anticipated a teratoma to be that developed to have a prosthetic body lying about, 'just in case.' No, the Doc had himself a life-sized Lolita Doll, complete with functioning vagina, and saw the opportunity to bring his waifu to laifu when he realized he can totally stuff a female internal system into it, Frankenstein Style.
He even based the anatomically correct doll's looks on a child model from a fashion magazine, as confirmed in the Black Jack TV series.
Kickass surgeon, but so very Lolicon.
Vaginer's in middle panel, the dedicated sicko.
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