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+207
#1 - penileburglar (09/13/2015) [-]
So according to Men's Health and the World Health Organization, the average ejaculation is 3.7ml.

A U.S. Gallon is about 3785.4ml.

So assuming I didn't royally **** up the math (I got a bottle of tequila for my birthday, so bear with me) an average male with an average ejaculation, masturbating once a day or less, would have to ejaculate about 1024 times to fill up the gallon (a perfect power of two, coincidentally!)

But keep in mind that ejaculation varies and anything above 1.5ml is considered to be within healthy range, and masturbation more than once a day or so will have a lower yield.
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0
#89 to #1 - anon (10/06/2015) [-]
This is like an exact copy/paste of the top comment last time this was posted, unless a lot of people get a bottle of tequila for their birthdays and then browse funnyjunk.
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-1
User avatar #90 to #89 - penileburglar (10/07/2015) [-]
Uhh, no?

This was an original comment and I did the actual math. I'm sure I'm not the only person to see this and be inspired to do the math, but no, I did not copy this from anybody. I've actually never seen it posted here before. I think your memory's a little fuzzy. Or you're just completely making **** up because you thought it'd be a cute way to call me out.
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+5
User avatar #78 to #1 - becauseoprahsaidso (09/14/2015) [-]
I takes less time if you get people to help you. it wouldn't be gay
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+6
User avatar #77 to #1 - uuuio (09/14/2015) [-]
Happy birthday bro.
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+18
User avatar #36 to #1 - barakakaka (09/13/2015) [-]
So i think this would bring us up to about a petabyte of information? (Each sperm cell has 37.5MB of info, an average ejaculation 1587 GB times 1024)
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+57
#7 to #1 - anon (09/13/2015) [-]
Just get a horse
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-33
User avatar #9 to #7 - Sunset (09/13/2015) [-]
this
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+50
User avatar #53 to #9 - catinacan (09/13/2015) [-]
...is not tumblr
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+94
#22 to #1 - yourinvisiblegf (09/13/2015) [-]
Science and nutrition is here to save the day
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+8
User avatar #54 to #22 - nyandroid (09/13/2015) [-]
I need to see a video of this outcome
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+11
User avatar #75 to #54 - deviousdanish (09/14/2015) [-]
*outcum
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+6
User avatar #60 to #22 - strangesir (09/13/2015) [-]
My only problem with this is Bloo up in the corner. Why must a character from a Cartoon Network show be related with making your jism better?
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+2
#61 to #22 - anon (09/13/2015) [-]
I fap 100% more than I have sex. Is there a way to reduce the amount of cum without damaging anything? less to clean up after.
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-1
User avatar #72 to #61 - civilizedwasteland (09/14/2015) [-]
soak your nuts in hot water for a while or wear really tight pants all the time
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-1
#76 to #22 - anon (09/14/2015) [-]
Don't take a **** ton of soy. Such ******** . Will turn you into inferior gender of the species!
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+57
#26 to #1 - discobleach ONLINE (09/13/2015) [-]
it takes a kilo-ejaculation, it would seem
it takes a kilo-ejaculation, it would seem
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+87
User avatar #2 to #1 - brashcandicoot (09/13/2015) [-]
1024 times? Holy **** ... What the hell am I supposed to do with the other 20 hours of the day? Don't do this math
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+55
User avatar #4 to #2 - thatonecommunist (09/13/2015) [-]
You masturbate 256 times per hour, that's 4.2 ejaculations per minute.

It wouldn't even be a constant stream of cum, you disappointing faggot.
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+6
#5 to #4 - brashcandicoot (09/13/2015) [-]
You don't know how long my ejacs are brotha
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+3
User avatar #8 to #4 - knightdiaz (09/13/2015) [-]
He would die if he did that
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+7
User avatar #3 to #2 - demastrix (09/13/2015) [-]
Urge to math intensifies*
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+2
#40 to #33 - anon (09/13/2015) [-]
this only brings up more questions
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+13
#43 to #33 - anon (09/13/2015) [-]
1 second per 2x10^15 oscillations of quartz when vibrating at 32,768 Hz.
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+13
#51 to #43 - thegamepixel (09/13/2015) [-]
elaborate
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+5
User avatar #56 to #51 - iamkagji ONLINE (09/13/2015) [-]
That's the standard to which a second is compared. That's how we know how long a second is, because we can always compare it to an object or phenomenon that never changes when all requirements are fulfilled. For example, in the British Royal Society of Sciences, there's a standard yard measure, which is a length of brass that is, at 78 degrees Fahrenheit(i think), EXACTLY one yard, and thus is a perfect yard that won't suffer from degrading purity over time
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+5
User avatar #57 to #56 - thegamepixel (09/13/2015) [-]
cool. I thought it was just kind of made up.
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0
#86 to #51 - thenoahgoesree ONLINE (09/16/2015) [-]
add this to your collection
reee
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0
#88 to #87 - thenoahgoesree ONLINE (09/16/2015) [-]
yus
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+66
#15 - croclife (09/13/2015) [-]
**croclife used "*roll picture*"**
**croclife rolled image**
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+5
#18 to #15 - anon (09/13/2015) [-]
Sweet mother ******* roll
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+3
User avatar #20 to #18 - kibbleking (09/13/2015) [-]
It's absurd you can't get good sweet rolls.
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0
#73 to #20 - akhkharux ONLINE (09/14/2015) [-]
**akhkharux used "*roll picture*"**
**akhkharux rolled image**
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+23
#6 - udo (09/13/2015) [-]
really though, what other answer was he expecting?
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+5
#11 to #6 - mastercolossus (09/13/2015) [-]
she sells seashells by the seashore.
the shells she sells are surely seashells.
so if she sells shells on the seashore,
i'm sure she sells seashore shells.
she’s sold sea shells by the seashore since shapely seashore seashells stay scarce.
since she sells superior shells searchers spend centuries searching for, seldom selling simple shells, she still sustains solid savings.
some say she can’t sustain a shop selling sea shells. should somebody sell superior shells, sally’s sea shell store shall see a sales slump. Superior shells are simply safer stock if synthetic; synthetic shells shouldn’t see spots, scars, or stains similar to sally’s sea shells.
say i to them "silly stuff, spadesslick. such synthetic shells sacrifice stability so sincere shells should still sell substantial sums."
so saying sally's seashore seashell sales shall sharply shoot up should show some sharp sale shot.
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+51
#21 - gjtz (09/13/2015) [-]
Does anybody remember the thread about the guy who left his Rainbow Dash cum thing in the window and it cooked in the sun?
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+3
User avatar #29 to #21 - remotecalamity (09/13/2015) [-]
I think it was actually hidden somewhere on a heater, not by the window.
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0
User avatar #32 to #29 - sirfapaton (09/13/2015) [-]
Yeah it was on a heater.
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+4
#50 to #21 - thempc (09/13/2015) [-]
i remember
i must forget
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+5
#38 to #21 - epicactual (09/13/2015) [-]
******* hell I almost forgot about that
******* hell I almost forgot about that
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+9
User avatar #23 to #21 - wigglyjr (09/13/2015) [-]
Stop reminding people of nightmares.
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+28
#34 to #21 - anarchyamongants (09/13/2015) [-]
You talking about this little beauty?
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+19
User avatar #35 to #34 - killerliquid (09/13/2015) [-]
>another glass
jesus
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+15
#37 to #34 - bonlino (09/13/2015) [-]
Jesus Christ wept. That's nasty.
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+1
#74 to #34 - peezle (09/14/2015) [-]
I'm out.
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+1
User avatar #45 to #34 - clavatninenine (09/13/2015) [-]
I posted that as content. it got front page before a newbie mod took offense and deleted it.
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+1
User avatar #66 to #34 - aerosol (09/13/2015) [-]
>>#1, Knowing that, this has to be fake. There's no way anyone could amass that much.
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+12
#17 - anon (09/13/2015) [-]
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+15
#10 - invoicingkarma (09/13/2015) [-]
Alright lets give this a shot. First I'll need an empty gallon jug...
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0
#16 to #10 - duczz (09/13/2015) [-]
oh no the horror look how edgy i am
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0
User avatar #19 to #16 - invoicingkarma (09/13/2015) [-]
Shadow the Hedgehog - Neutral - Dark Ending This edgy
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0
User avatar #80 to #19 - spacekitty (09/14/2015) [-]
"ultimate life form"
(kars joke)
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+4
#14 to #10 - anon (09/13/2015) [-]
We have a morbid channel you sick ****
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+8
#13 to #10 - aangbingo (09/13/2015) [-]
I'm not even upset that it was chocolate milk wasted, I hate chocolate milk.
I'm upset at the fact that it was a full jug he just washed down the drain.
Wad a waste a wadda
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0
User avatar #25 to #13 - notsohappygamer (09/13/2015) [-]
super mario backpack ?
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+1
User avatar #59 to #25 - seras (09/13/2015) [-]
A nerdkid raging about sonic.
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0
User avatar #83 to #59 - notsohappygamer (09/14/2015) [-]
thx for the explanation
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0
#84 to #83 - seras (09/14/2015) [-]
Here is the video. It's great.
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0
User avatar #85 to #84 - notsohappygamer (09/14/2015) [-]
i bet he can communicate with dolphins
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0
User avatar #81 to #59 - spacekitty (09/14/2015) [-]
weird i searched sonic cringe and he came up earlier
deja vu
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+6
#27 to #10 - anon (09/13/2015) [-]
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+9
#52 to #27 - thempc (09/13/2015) [-]
i love the fact that fj has a flag category for hate speech
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+7
#28 to #27 - anon (09/13/2015) [-]
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+8
#12 to #10 - skeletorexplains ONLINE (09/13/2015) [-]
NOOOO!!
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+8
#41 - manholefreddy (09/13/2015) [-]
**manholefreddy used "*roll picture*"**
**manholefreddy rolled image**

Well technically a gallon of milk is already full, since it IS a gallon of milk. So it wouldn't really require an semen.
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+2
User avatar #79 - machiavellianhumor (09/14/2015) [-]
but steel is heavier than feathers
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0
#82 to #79 - anon (09/14/2015) [-]
And jet fuel can't melt steel beams.
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+2
#46 - anon (09/13/2015) [-]
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+1
#55 - tootskiclothing (09/13/2015) [-]
I get my semen bagged thank you very much.
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+1
#42 - burytia (09/13/2015) [-]
be careful of that milk

some bottles are actually horse semen
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0
#49 to #24 - anon (09/13/2015) [-]
gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
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0
#70 - jacksheel (09/14/2015) [-]
Never felt more at peace
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-1
User avatar #69 - izdubar ONLINE (09/14/2015) [-]
>how much semen it would take a gallon of milk

Isn't the gallon of milk already filled with milk? Maybe he meant: "how much semen you can dissolve in a gallon of milk until you can dissolve no more semen in it?"
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0
#67 - coolios (09/13/2015) [-]
**coolios used "*roll picture*"**
**coolios rolled image**
>"thank you"
>"you're welcum"
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0
User avatar #65 - congorepublic (09/13/2015) [-]
he verbally went congo on his ass
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0
User avatar #39 - theugandanhero (09/13/2015) [-]
I honestly don't know what OP was expecting.
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0
User avatar #31 - remotecalamity (09/13/2015) [-]
lets see the bear minimal amount of orgasms that'd be.
the BEST anyone can do is with the 'holy grail' which give roughly 10 ml per orgasm. I'll use this for my calculations
a single ml is a little under 0.0003 Gallons so we times that by how much we get per orgasm, 10, so we get about 0.003 gallons per holy grail guzzle. all we need now is to divide what we want by the fraction of one, and we'll find how many times they'd need to cum. the result is a minimal 334 with the holy grail assuming no liquids were lost during the exchange.
 
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