4chan. WHAT THE . 2 Am 18 years old, never been in a relationship before. 2 Stay at home on khan all day, watching anime, tapping. etc. 2 Only real life friend
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WHAT THE ****

2 Am 18 years old, never been in a relationship before.
2 Stay at home on khan all day, watching anime, tapping. etc.
2 Only real life friend invites me to party with girls.
2 Tell him no, too awkward, etc.
2 He pesters me until I agree-
2 Go to party, and sit awkwardly in the corner. playing Pokemon on my US-
2 Girls are laughing at me, so I tryto ignore them.
2 Bill] red head comes upto me and asks what I' m playing.
2 "Pokemon."
2 She smiles and tells me she loves Pokemon, is looking forward to the new games, etc.
2 End up adding her on Facebook, and we begin chatting every day, talking about Pokemon, anime, etc.
2 Things are going well, and we start to hang out in real life, her helping me escape my shell and become more confident.
2 One day she invites me to her apartment, and roommates are gene.
2 Nervous as **** , and she begins cuddling with me on the couch.
2 She makes the first move and kisses me, pushing personguy into my mouth.
2 I kind of awkwardly mesh ever hers, probably ******* , but she didn' t care.
2 She looks me in the eye and smiles, saying, Tm sure you' re pretty big, my last boyfriend was five and a Bulfinch's, I could hardly feel it."
2 I turn pale, and start freaking out.
2 She' s not only not a pure virgin, but my penis is ******* five inches.
2 Tell her I want to play with her, but some food I ate was ******* with my stomach, and I get out of it.
2 It' s the next day and she invites me ever again. Freak out, don' t know what to do.
Cont.
2 Open cupboard and see a medium sized summer sausage.
2 Unwrap it, and microwave it for a bit to make it warm, then put it in my laptop bag. (l always carry it with me, so it' s not suspicious.)
2 I get over there and we start making out again, get to touch her breasts, take her clothes off... ******* awesome.
2 We move to her room, and she strips down naked in front of me. She has some busy, but still ******* sexy, getting boner.
2 She pulls out some condoms, and I start to freak out-
2 I tell forthat I like making love in the dark, it' s more mysterious and sensual. (sounded like afaggot.}
2 She looks at me funny, but agrees-
2 We turn out the lights, and I unwrap the condom.
2 Stretch it over the summer sausage and get ready.
2 Kind of hold it around my crotch are and begin to **** hurwitz the summer sausage.
2 She moans and tells me how big I am, how amazing I am. **** is ******* awesome.
2 Things continue on like this for two months, always ******* her in the dark, and using a warm summer sausage.
2 Her roommates are usually gone when we **** , but something ended up going horribly wrong one clay.
2 In the middle of porking her. (lol, get it?) the door swings open and the lights are flipped on.
2 Her roommate giggles, apparently trying to mess with my girlfriend, and cock block me.
2 I freak out and pull out the summer sausage as it rolls onto the floor.
2 Both of them look down at the condom' d summer sausage in horror and my girlfriend looks at me.
2 Are you ******* me with a ******* sausage?" She screams.
2 When I' m nervous, i get really ******* hungry. I pick up the sausage, and start to tremble-
2 She screams again. "Were you putting that in me the WHOLE ******* TNSI?" The roommate is laughing hysterically.
2 " sorry!" I start to sob as I begin to eat the other end of the sausage, the one without the condom. I' m nervous as **** and it calms me down.
2 She starts throwing stuff at me, screaming for me to get out-
...
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Views: 5852
Favorited: 3
Submitted: 06/02/2013
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#1 - undeadwill (06/02/2013) [+] (1 reply)
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I lost it when he started eating the sausage to calm down.
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