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#84928 - amuro (07/12/2013) [-]
Hi guys, Amuro here. For the ones who have read at some point my misadventures TY for all your advice. For the ones who didn't, here is a little bit of it:

-Male, mid twenties. Not a beta. Allready have a career and a nice job that i hate but it pays my debts and helps my family.
**-And my personal nightmare is* once upon a time I meet this girl via a common friend. We started to date not much after that. 6 month later we got this random fight and we stop to talk about a week, then we become reconciled after quarrel, and everything went fine. She told me her most deep secret that I will never, ever say to anyone. At that point, we became separated for my work,(like 5k miles, more or less, in different countries)

Time passed and we achieve to meet a few times. Every time was better than the other, and one day, I ask her if she wanted to be my wife. She said yes without hesitation. This was the best day in my life, I swear.

5 years passed so quick... And then, 2013 reached us. My sister was fired from her job, so I stepped up to doing the best on mine because our mother is very ill (and also a lot of bad random stuff started to happen, i even got a loan). Then, deam, I made the worst thing I could ever done: I asked my fiancee for a little time to fix all this up, and said that what I need at this point was more a friend than a lover. I am a stupid man, I know. This happened on april.

Then, my GF made a Ramona (Hope you guys have read SP sometime) and just disappeared. Took me almost two months to reach her again, and she was angry, VERY angry. So, in summary I decided to tell her a letter, saying how much I missed her, how much i loved her, and that I am very sorry, and that I have never, ever withdraw my word of marriage; also I said that if she wanted me to throw my life away just to be with her I could do that if she want to, or if she want to come here to live with me I will do that too. She just answered that she doesn't have plans for me (continues)

User avatar #85075 to #85072 - amuro (07/13/2013) [-]
Thank you very much for the song, totally related, man.

Yeah, the sky in falling appart... and my life is not what it used to be right now.

TY again, and happy item hunt, brotha.
User avatar #85076 to #85075 - ffffyou (07/13/2013) [-]
no problem. try to rethink everything and see what's the best path for you now.
User avatar #85077 to #85076 - amuro (07/13/2013) [-]
Yeah, man, I know. It is just hard and is killing me. I know you are not asking, but yeah, that song was quite accurate, I woke up this morning and started to drink without second thoughts. I feel my existence so pointless, because I am 90% sure she is screwing with another man.

I really used to believe that someday she would be the mother of my kids...

BTW, I didn't want to sound rude a few moments ago. Sorry for that, mate.
User avatar #84955 to #84928 - SunshineCabbage (07/12/2013) [-]
Girls are weird. It doesn't take a lot for us to get scared and end up not trusting someone because of what they done. We take things the wrong way, a lot of the time.

But, it sounds like you two had a pretty solid relationship, but you saying you needed some time and that you wanted a friend more than a lover, must have hurt her and made her feel like she was worthless. She's still talking to you, which is a plus. Just play things slow, and take it easy. Show her she can trust you again, and I'm sure everything will work out fine.
User avatar #84957 to #84955 - amuro (07/12/2013) [-]
So, man: what can I do when she disappears like now? How can make her stop that?

If she don't want to talk or something I can understand it, but... If she doesn't say a thing it just hurts.
User avatar #84959 to #84957 - SunshineCabbage (07/12/2013) [-]
It sounds like you're completely nuts for this chick, so if I were in your shoes, I'd talk to her about why she does it. Don't pressure her into telling you, don't assume that she's with another guy. Ask her why she feels the need to disappear all the time, and if she carries on, I'm afraid you'll have to move on.

Like you said, it's understandable if she doesn't want to talk to you, but if she just disappears without giving you a valid explanation, it's not going to go anywhere. It's just going to hurt you over and over again, and that isn't fair. Your feelings are just as important as hers.
User avatar #84962 to #84959 - amuro (07/12/2013) [-]
Already done that, and made her promise she wouldn't do that again. And failed miserably, BTW.

Sorry for been a pain in the arse man, but... How can I overcome this feeling? I can barely concentrate while on work, and it is just getting worse day by day... Any temp solution/idea is just fine.
User avatar #84964 to #84962 - SunshineCabbage (07/12/2013) [-]
Then I guess you'll have to move on. Firsty, get out any thoughts of "she was the one for me", if she was, she would have kept her promise.

Take up something new, like a new hobby. Learn something, like any instruments or get really good at a game or something. Take walks, go running and work out. Just do anything that requires your concentration and keep repeating it. It will take your mind of her and your feelings towards her, PLUS, when you get good at playing or something, you'll feel really good about yourself and it'll boost your confidence.
User avatar #84965 to #84964 - amuro (07/12/2013) [-]
I will try it. And will let you know what happens in the future.

TY for all, i really apreciate this.
#84929 to #84928 - amuro (07/12/2013) [-]
And that she was very confused because she didn't know what to do.
Sorry for my poor English, BTW, not from `America

Then, I just told her that I just wanted to be a better man, and if she wanted my life, and everything I have she could have it. At this point I started to feeling really bad, so I just said ¨Please, don't disappear again. I really need you so much¨.

Some days passed, we got to talk a few times. One day we started to play 20 Questions and she asked me what should I do if she never accepts me again.

What I said was something like this: ¨I love you, and I don't have regrets, so I probably move on wishing you the best.¨ What I wanted to say was: ¨IDK my life is so pointless without you¨.

Now, last Tuesday we talked via Skype. She said a lot of things, same as I. Even we joke about how many children we will have. And then. I asked her if she wanted to be with me again, and she answered ¨No, I can't. We are a couple but I am not your girlfriend¨ and ¨I love you but I don't have plans with you at this point¨. I tried, I really tried to make sense to that statements and not start crying. We laugh it off and said goodnight.

Then, she disappeared again, has not gotten online since then. What makes all of this worst is that last Wednesday a couple of friends of mine died in a horrible car accident, and yesterday I was on their service. I feel really bad in a way I have never ever feel. I even couldn't sleep last night because I got a lot of nightmares about losing her.

Now, how about my friends? Well, a couple of `me say that I need to give her some time (But i allready gave her 2 months). Another ones say that they bet she is with another dude, and the last ones say that I need to get a GF over here and forget about this. As I said, I am not a beta, but I know I am not a Hollywood actor too; Lets say that I have good odds with women in general. I have a few options here but I don't want to quit her. (Continues)
#84931 to #84929 - amuro (07/12/2013) [-]
Our relationship started to work back in the days because she accepted me for who I am, and I accepted her the same way. She means the whole world to me, and I really don't know what to do. I feel dumb crying so much everyday... But I don't want to loose her.

I already asked her if she is with someone else and she said no. Then I asked if she trusted me yet and she said no, too. It is very confusing.

So, what I want to know is: if we can get back together or if she is with someone else. IDC if my heart broke beyond repair, I just want to know what should I do.

Do you guys know that memento in your life when you see a girl in the eyes and you know everything is fine and you can count with her? Well, I know it thanks to her.

We got our fights, we LOAO, but I really don't understand how she could forget everything we share together all those years in just a month and a half.

So, friends, what should I do? I don't know what else can do/say and I can't force her to love me again. I could go over there, but I need to save money (that I don't have for what I have already said) until September/October.

My heart hurts so fucking much, and I don't wish any of this to anyone.
#85102 to #84931 - anonexplains (07/13/2013) [-]
Sorry to hear you're in so much pain mang. I met this girl once, I was in 9th grade at the time, and she was wonderful and accepted me as who I was, and I did the same to her. She moved across the country (lived and still live in USA). Kept in contact but it started to fade. Over the summer she got distant and started hanging out with some other random guys. She was happier with them then she was with me, and that stung a bit. I sensed that she was sad, and tried to help. Say "Hey, you alright?" or "Hey, how're you?" on skype for bout a week. One day she just snapped and said "I've been trying to tell you this for a while in a nicer way, but you're super annoying and you should leave me alone." That fucking shattered. Going into 10th, so not as bad, but she was the only girl I've met that actually let me talk instead of an instant GTFO or trying to escape. Im better now, one year later, and I got over it because of friends. They'll be there for you whenever you need 'em, always will.
User avatar #85103 to #85102 - amuro (07/13/2013) [-]
IDK if you are the same anon as the one with the card problem. I just want to say TY for reading it.

I just don't know how to handle it all... Yesterday at night I finally knew she is with another guy since about a month, and my mind is playing tricks, seen the woman I thought it was to be the mother of my sons doing nasty stuff with another man.

Hate this feeling, a lot, and I hate myself.
User avatar #84946 to #84931 - EdwardNigma ONLINE (07/12/2013) [-]
Can I have a shorter, faster run down?
User avatar #84951 to #84946 - SunshineCabbage (07/12/2013) [-]
Basically, he was engaged to this girl and his life went shit-up and he told her he needed some time to sort things out (loan, his mum being ill, him trying to earn money). She disappears for a while, 2 months later they begin talking again and she says she's hurt and angry with him and doesn't have any plans for him atm.

He's crazily in love with her and doesn't know what to do, he can't sleep because he's scared about losing her etc. But she's not said she wants him back.
User avatar #84956 to #84951 - amuro (07/12/2013) [-]
You are a great human being. TY for read it.

And yeah, i feel like shit right now and dkw to do.
User avatar #84947 to #84946 - amuro (07/12/2013) [-]
Already shortened, sorry. Is not that long...
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