First thing you need to know about me: I have an anxiety disorder. A bad one. It can result in panic attacks if I'm not careful. These are not enjoyable experiences. Before anyone discounts panic attacks as something minor, look up what an actual panic attack is like. It's not fun.

Anyway, I'm going to need to cut a long story short:
My mother and father have been divorced since I was 2, I lived with my father for the last two years in the city, after living with my mother in the country for most of my life.
We've resolved all the tensions because of the separation almost a decade ago now (I'm 20).

Anyway, since moving back in with my father, we've butted heads many times, until soon after I was diagnosed he basically said I was doing this for attention.
I hate being the centre of attention, I despise it, and anyone who knows me knows this well.
Anyway, this was sort of the brick that broke the camel's back: A lot of stuff that was just not working between us exploded, and I walked out of the house. After a week I returned and try to talk things out... which he effectively ignored.

Anyway, I've been living with my Auntie and Uncle over the last month and a half, trying to get work (I've got two jobs now), and I'm looking for a place of my own to move into.
The main reason for this move wasn't because of what happened, just that this looks remarkably like what happened between my father and my brother, which resulted in them not speaking to eachother for years.
This is the last thing I want to happen between us, because above all, I love my father.

However, today he called. I didn't know at the time; just got a missed call from him, he wants me to ring back and talk to him.
But I'm really not ready, I wanted to speak to him when I had my apartment, and everything sorted.
But I don't want to ignore him and drive us any further apart.

Please, I don't know what to do. Please help?