hey guys. every day, i die some more. no, not physically, but every day, i get deeper and deeper into a type of sadness that most people can't understand. every night, i have dreams about being happy with the one girl i like. (dating her is currently not an option due to her parents being nuts) i dream of getting married, going on dates, ect ect and it is the one time i am actually happy. i see her every day, talk to her online, but when i sleep and dream about her, i wake up, only to get depressed that none of what happened was real. not a minute goes by that i don't think about her.

sometimes i just sit outside and think. my parents love me, but what about anyone outside of my family? does anyone care? it's one of those things that just kills you inside, all you want is somebody to spend your life with. not neccesarily as a girlfriend, just someone to spend time with and be happy.

how can i deal with this? i don't want to risk losing her, but i will go insane (or worse) if i don't do anything about it.