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User avatar #26164 - jokeface (09/10/2012) [-]
Am I an asshole for trying to find a middle ground when my girlfriend argue? Like, we're having a dispute right now because she wants kids and also she wants to move to New York when we get married. Meanwhile, I do not want kids, and I want to stay living in Pennsylvania (preferably forever). So I told her, how about we compromise? I'd be willing to have kids if we can stay in PA. And she got mad at me for that. Like I was trying to be unreasonable. Am I? I don't think so. What does FJ think?
User avatar #26216 to #26164 - I Am Monkey (09/10/2012) [-]
I'd at least give New York a shot. (checking it out, not just moving there) NYC is a bad place to raise kids, but Northern Westchester is a good alternative. Cortlandt, Hawthorn and Yorktown are nice suburban areas with virtually no crime and high paying jobs. From what I've seen of Pennsylvania, its pretty similar.
#26165 to #26164 - cuntmin **User deleted account** (09/10/2012) [-]
finding a middle ground is good. but within an issue.
you shouldn't barter like that, especially with such important issues
User avatar #26168 to #26165 - jokeface (09/10/2012) [-]
The kids aren't even my main concern. I can probably come to terms with having kids. But I hate the idea of living in New York. I hate it with a passion.
#26172 to #26168 - cuntmin **User deleted account** (09/10/2012) [-]
ok, what i'm getting at is that you need to take it on an issue by issue basis. compromise is great, but you need to do it within the issue of location.
I'm just going to say you aren't living in a big city, but your fiance is looking to moving to THE big city. a compromise might be, moving to new york, but living an hour out along a rail line. that way you get some of the benefit of the city that she wants, while you can keep the more peaceful benefits of living in suburb, or whatever.
(that was just an example, not saying that is your specific situation)
User avatar #26182 to #26172 - jokeface (09/10/2012) [-]
Well you're right about one thing. I do live in a quiet city and don't like the idea of large, heavily populated urban settings. But it's more than that. The place I live now (Lehigh Valley, Pennsylvania) is the only placed I've lived since I was born. It's the only place I'm mentally equipped to cope with, and everyone I know is here (except my girlfriend, who lives in Florida). I'm terrified that by moving to New York, even a quiet part of it, I'll end up getting detached from my life back here, my family, my friends, etc. My dad's parent's live in Ohio, and now he only speaks to them two or three times a year, only seeing them every couple of years or so. I know I can make new friends and such in New York, but I don't want to let go of my old ones.
#26184 to #26182 - cuntmin **User deleted account** (09/10/2012) [-]
yeah, i figured that the relocation was a large part of it.
fortunately, we have skype and texting and facebook. Also, New york is right next to Pennsylvania. not sure where lehigh is, but it can't be that far
would relocating be easy? no, not at all. but it would be easier than it was 200 years ago
User avatar #26191 to #26184 - jokeface (09/10/2012) [-]
Actually the Lehigh Valley is right on the eastern border of PA. So yes, it's very close. I guess it just feels far, I don't know.
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