Advice - love advice, dating advice, relationship advice, girl advice, teenage advice. Advice - love advice, dating advice, relationship advice, girl advice, te
Home Original Content Funny Pictures Funny GIFs YouTube Funny Text Funny Movies Channels Search
hide menu

Advice - love advice, dating advice,...

Comments(138251):

[ 138251 comments ]

Show All Replies Show Shortcuts
Show:   Highest Rated Newest
auto-refresh every 1 2 3 5 seconds


Per page:
Order:
Latest users (4): jokekill, thepuckisthis, xxkrpxx, xXThatxOnexGuyXx, anonymous(16).
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#155348 - queeftarts (4 hours ago) [-]
Hey guys, so I posted on this board while back about this kid in my school, aka cringelord, and my weird crush on him. Read Here www.funnyjunk.com/advice/154443#154443

So I seemed to get mixed replies,some saying go for it, and others saying steer clear of his crazy ass, so I kind of backed away from him because I felt that your advice was reasonable, but then something crazy happened.

He has been initiating conversations with me, and showing some interest in what I like and I am kind of confused. What should I do? Should I ask him out? Should I wait for him to ask me out? Please help me.

Pic unrelated
User avatar #155393 to #155348 - fistfireace (26 minutes ago) [-]
I had forgot about what he does, then I reread your original comment about him. I cringed like a mother fucker.

If you're going to go out with him, make sure he stops doing that childish bullshit, it makes him look retarded.

Also, don't listen to dehumanizer. He's a shitposter so he knows nothing.
User avatar #155385 to #155348 - alecbaldwinning (1 hour ago) [-]
No, you fucking retard, NO.
#155372 to #155348 - dehumanizer (3 hours ago) [-]
As a profecional neckbeard autist, I recomend yu ask him out, because these things are really hard for us.
User avatar #155351 to #155348 - makotoitou (3 hours ago) [-]
do it, you like him and he seems friendly towards you.
User avatar #155353 to #155351 - queeftarts (3 hours ago) [-]
How should I tell him that I like him?
User avatar #155354 to #155353 - makotoitou (3 hours ago) [-]
Nigga I dunno. Get private and just spill it out? I'm sure other people here got better advice, but just do it is what I learned from shoes.
#155349 to #155348 - baitdoesnttalkback (3 hours ago) [-]
this is very important you need to reject him. do it in public so enough people see. embarrass him to humilation. then later on call him and say you know what i changed my mind. take me out. now you are in control and he will be your bitch forever.
#155373 to #155349 - dehumanizer (3 hours ago) [-]
Or maybe pic related will happen.
Or maybe pic related will happen.
#155380 to #155373 - baitdoesnttalkback (2 hours ago) [-]
i can only dream. he is my hero
#155338 - anonymous (5 hours ago) [-]
Me: "I love you!"

I knew she liked me, so I tried telling her that I did. All her friends said I should ask her out.

Her: "Aw, you're such a great friend!"

She's kinda shy, do I pursue the subject?
#155350 to #155338 - baitdoesnttalkback (3 hours ago) [-]
pursue dont shoe. dont let it blow. cause now she knows.
you a hoe. you a hoe. you couldnt hold it back anymoree
you a hoe. you a hoe.
#155344 to #155338 - saltybanana (5 hours ago) [-]
ahhhh man friendzone to the max!   
   
broooo should never i mean neeeeever say i love you to someone you like! they will personally become very awkward. you need to slowly show that you love them. cant just be like "ay gurl you looking kinda fine, im kinda fine. got something going on"   
   
i personally shouldnt she sees you as a friend and not a type of guy she would date, if she said that, i know this cause ive seen sooo many friends fall into the friendzone. just keep looking brah youll find someone better
ahhhh man friendzone to the max!

broooo should never i mean neeeeever say i love you to someone you like! they will personally become very awkward. you need to slowly show that you love them. cant just be like "ay gurl you looking kinda fine, im kinda fine. got something going on"

i personally shouldnt she sees you as a friend and not a type of guy she would date, if she said that, i know this cause ive seen sooo many friends fall into the friendzone. just keep looking brah youll find someone better
#155330 - anonymous (6 hours ago) [-]
Posted as anon for obv reasons. My bf lurks funnyjunk so...    
   
I always wanted to show off my body. Not nude but lingerie type things. You know? Sexy shit. I never did it before and the urges to do it are getting a bit stronger. Probably because my friends do it online too so I am being encouraged silently.    
   
I told my boyfriend about them but they are still relevant. He doesn't like the thought of my body/underwear being online which is understandable . But I still don't know what to do about the feelings.... Should I just tell him I am going to do it and whatever?    
   
I have no idea how to sooth these feelings... Serious replies needed...    
   
Inb4: Nudes Pls.
Posted as anon for obv reasons. My bf lurks funnyjunk so...

I always wanted to show off my body. Not nude but lingerie type things. You know? Sexy shit. I never did it before and the urges to do it are getting a bit stronger. Probably because my friends do it online too so I am being encouraged silently.

I told my boyfriend about them but they are still relevant. He doesn't like the thought of my body/underwear being online which is understandable . But I still don't know what to do about the feelings.... Should I just tell him I am going to do it and whatever?

I have no idea how to sooth these feelings... Serious replies needed...

Inb4: Nudes Pls.
#155375 to #155330 - dehumanizer (3 hours ago) [-]
Beeing a whore is not acceptable.
#155352 to #155330 - baitdoesnttalkback (3 hours ago) [-]
eh you're probably not hot so posting lingerie is a insecure attention grab from strangers to boost your ego. post nudes
#155336 to #155330 - ipostcp (5 hours ago) [-]
Depends how serious the relationship is. If you guys have been dating for a year or fairly long or have a pretty close relationship, I'd tell him that you want to do it. Hell, you could make money if you are that into it.
User avatar #155340 to #155336 - animationhac ONLINE (5 hours ago) [-]
I guess I could ask him again, I don't think asking is going to hurt anyone. Yeah relationship is 3 years long.
User avatar #155341 to #155340 - ipostcp (5 hours ago) [-]
If things come to shove you could bring up a double type of thing. Him too. Maybe that might help him.
#155332 to #155330 - saltybanana (6 hours ago) [-]
you can send them to me at P.O.X saltysexybanana   
   
well honestly once something goes on the internet it goes errrrrrwvwhere!    
i personally think shouldnt do it. could mess up your relationship with your man. think about it, how would you react if your BF started to post di...okay never mind. think abourt your man posting almost nudes on facebook and all your friends saying "daayyum sexy i wannna like you up and down" you would gert offended in a way, cause thats your property in a way. IMO just drop t, be different and dont follow most of the girls on fj here do.   
   
plus he will eventually catch you cause he'll recognize your body.
you can send them to me at P.O.X saltysexybanana

well honestly once something goes on the internet it goes errrrrrwvwhere!
i personally think shouldnt do it. could mess up your relationship with your man. think about it, how would you react if your BF started to post di...okay never mind. think abourt your man posting almost nudes on facebook and all your friends saying "daayyum sexy i wannna like you up and down" you would gert offended in a way, cause thats your property in a way. IMO just drop t, be different and dont follow most of the girls on fj here do.

plus he will eventually catch you cause he'll recognize your body.
User avatar #155333 to #155332 - animationhac ONLINE (5 hours ago) [-]
I don't want to post here anyways haha. I don't mind if he goes nude but I don't wanna go nude. Just tasteful pictures I guess. I don't mind it going everywhere either is the thing.

Should I ask again? I'd rather do it with his blessing anyways. I had someone suggest a throwaway where no one would know its me but I don't wanna do if behind his back you know?

My friends are so cute and I wanna be cute like them too I guess. Its always been a thought behind my head for years again... Just... I feel so envious of them when they can post their panties haha.
User avatar #155334 to #155333 - saltybanana (5 hours ago) [-]
i think its retarded to ask him, you guys arent married or anything. im saying cause its respect towards your man. if he catches you when he said no, he'll start to think differently about you. like "man i knew she was a bitch, well pussy to good" jk he will slowly dislike you for it. i would if my girl did

its not my business but i would personally wouldnt like it. on the other hand if he doesn't know then go for it. he aint your daddy woman

User avatar #155335 to #155334 - animationhac ONLINE (5 hours ago) [-]
Well i didnt post anon before so I aint gunna fix it haha. Well its someone who intends to marry me when we have the funds for it. So its not a loosey goosey type relationship. Ugh, I guess I will just contain my urges and hope they fade.
User avatar #155337 to #155335 - saltybanana (5 hours ago) [-]
see its like getting a tattoo. at first your like "holy shit ima get a tramp stamp, soooo hot'
then you look back and think, woooow what did i do?

your just in the moment. just take the picture, and hold it, think about it for a few hours, if you still have that urge than just post it, if aint a nude it shouldnt be bad. but i think you should never follow a group just to feel like you fit in. be different, thats why your bf likes you.
User avatar #155339 to #155337 - animationhac ONLINE (5 hours ago) [-]
Broski I've been wanting to do this for 4 years. Its something I know I want to do hahaha. I never want to do nude and or cam it. Pretty much like bathing suit photos so its harmless to a point but still some guys are sensitive to it. I will definitely hold your advice though. Don't think I am ignoring it.
User avatar #155386 to #155339 - alecbaldwinning (1 hour ago) [-]
You're a whore. It's that simple. You want to whore out your body and image for attention because your parents weren't very good at their jobs.


You can be his whore, or you can be the internet's whore. The choice is yours, but as long as you're dating him you have a responsibility to be honest with him.
User avatar #155388 to #155386 - animationhac ONLINE (1 hour ago) [-]
My parents were the bees knees doe. Nothing wrong with libido
User avatar #155389 to #155388 - alecbaldwinning (1 hour ago) [-]
It's not about libido, it's about your perverted sense of self image and how you base it off of how other people view you instead of of you view yourself. Internal vs external.

World's full of whores, it's nothing to get upset over.
User avatar #155391 to #155389 - animationhac ONLINE (1 hour ago) [-]
Not upset haha no reason to be! I dont nothing wrong. Just asked intenet a question and got honesty. Thank uo based baldwinning.
User avatar #155390 to #155389 - alecbaldwinning (1 hour ago) [-]
of how*

And props for staying honest in your relationship. All the best.
User avatar #155387 to #155386 - animationhac ONLINE (1 hour ago) [-]
But... I am not a whore since I haven't done it yet. I have whore potential tho. Haha I am not doing it since he doesnt want me to. Honesty is best and needs to be there in a relationship as well as respect.
User avatar #155343 to #155339 - saltybanana (5 hours ago) [-]
like i said there isnt not wrong with a panty pic, its just how your man will take it.

i dont know him, he could be very sensitive or plainly doesnt give a hoot. but its nothing to be arguing. just saving you from a stupid argument in the future.
#155323 - joshlol (7 hours ago) [-]
how to eliminate jealous issues?
#155376 to #155323 - dehumanizer (3 hours ago) [-]
Through lots of violence.
#155355 to #155323 - baitdoesnttalkback (3 hours ago) [-]
No need. anyone named Jealous Issues is destined to eliminate himself
User avatar #155326 to #155323 - blackholee (6 hours ago) [-]
work out & find another man
User avatar #155327 to #155326 - blackholee (6 hours ago) [-]
or girl idk if you're straight
#155322 - anonymous (7 hours ago) [-]
I keep getting a strange feeling that the only home that I have is on the battlefield
Back home I don't know what to do and I don't have the drive for anything
#155377 to #155322 - dehumanizer (3 hours ago) [-]
Go on a rampage like rambo. Pic somewhat unrelated.
#155356 to #155322 - baitdoesnttalkback (3 hours ago) [-]
the biggest thing in any operation is transition. the army doesnt help with the transition part and thats the hardest part. i find surrounding yourself with passionate or enjoyable people helps. volunteering with kids kinda reminds you who you were. or just a group of funloving people could help. i dont think depression is something that is cured by lonleyness
User avatar #155321 - theturkeyburger (7 hours ago) [-]
The best advice I can give to anyone: Don't make decisions, even split second ones when you're angry. I got mad at a game and broke my headset of 2 years. I don't really want to admit it, but I'm crying. It feels like I just straight up murdered a best friend.
#155357 to #155321 - baitdoesnttalkback (3 hours ago) [-]
thats stupid advice because you just became wiser and able to give advice because you didnt think it through. though your advice is stupid so its a stupid wisdom paradox. OH SHIT
User avatar #155369 to #155357 - theturkeyburger (3 hours ago) [-]
Okay..?

And no, it's not stupid advice. Any idea how many couples decide to get a divorce out of anger? Or how many valuable things get broken out of anger? Like my headset...

It's not stupid advice. The things we regret the most are the things we do out of frustration.
#155370 to #155369 - baitdoesnttalkback (3 hours ago) [-]
ever know that anger is a evolutionary tool developed to get rationalizations out of the way so you can just act in accordence of what the situation actually needs? no you wouldnt think that. cause youre a jew
User avatar #155371 to #155370 - theturkeyburger (3 hours ago) [-]
yes but getting rationalizations out of the way=big irrational mistakes.
User avatar #155325 to #155321 - fistfireace (6 hours ago) [-]
Whoops, I read wrong. I thought you said you broke both your game and headset.
0
#155324 to #155321 - fistfireace has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #155315 - sonicg (7 hours ago) [-]
>2014
>be me
>beta as fuck infantryman
>stationed in Fort Hood
>bitches for miles
>bitches won't keep conversation or end up flaking/ignoring me
>shit's getting old
what do?
#155378 to #155315 - dehumanizer (3 hours ago) [-]
>beeing a jarhead   
>expecting to get laid
>beeing a jarhead
>expecting to get laid
#155358 to #155315 - baitdoesnttalkback (3 hours ago) [-]
stop asking them about stuff they dont care about
User avatar #155317 to #155315 - awesomerninjathing (7 hours ago) [-]
how can you be beta when you're in the army
User avatar #155318 to #155317 - sonicg (7 hours ago) [-]
Alpha around battle buddies.
Beta around double X chromosomes.
User avatar #155308 - nigalthornberry (8 hours ago) [-]
So i did the trial of all access because they upped it to 60 days free
So I can just download the albums for free or what?
#155292 - scrotoloitch (9 hours ago) [-]
Where the good jokes at?
#155331 to #155292 - saltybanana (6 hours ago) [-]
look at a mirror.    
   
   
oooooooohhhhhhhhhh
look at a mirror.


oooooooohhhhhhhhhh
User avatar #155290 - ishallsmiteyou (9 hours ago) [-]
What exactly falls under appropriate trench-coat weather? I bought one since Ontario winters are never really... light, so to speak.
#155379 to #155290 - dehumanizer (3 hours ago) [-]
Dont forget your fedora and fingerless gloves.
#155359 to #155290 - baitdoesnttalkback (3 hours ago) [-]
never? i think never is appropriate
User avatar #155345 to #155290 - ferrettamer (4 hours ago) [-]
Wear a parka. And unless you live really north, it doesn't get that cold in Ontario
User avatar #155346 to #155345 - ishallsmiteyou (4 hours ago) [-]
-40 is pretty cold to me.
User avatar #155347 to #155346 - ferrettamer (4 hours ago) [-]
One day a winter at -40 is fine
User avatar #155311 to #155290 - jokekill ONLINE (7 hours ago) [-]
theyre shit in all weather
they heat up in the sun and don't hold heat in the cold
User avatar #155312 to #155311 - ishallsmiteyou (7 hours ago) [-]
Mine is warm as fuck, it's got a pretty good lining on the inside.
User avatar #155314 to #155312 - jokekill ONLINE (7 hours ago) [-]
wear it in the cold then
you answered your own question
User avatar #155304 to #155290 - awesomerninjathing (8 hours ago) [-]
uh
don't wear trenchcoats
User avatar #155310 to #155304 - ishallsmiteyou (7 hours ago) [-]
If there's wet snow falling so thick you can't see 3 feet in front of you combined with 20km winds I'm wearing a fucking trenchcoat, man.
User avatar #155316 to #155310 - awesomerninjathing (7 hours ago) [-]
nigga i live in montreal

you dont need a trenchcoat
#155313 to #155310 - anonymous (7 hours ago) [-]
or you could just get a warm coat like normal people
User avatar #155319 to #155313 - ishallsmiteyou (7 hours ago) [-]
doesn't keep your legs warm. And I got this for $30 from a friend of mine, whereas a decent parka or something goes for around 50 here.
User avatar #155328 to #155319 - awesomerninjathing (6 hours ago) [-]
who the fuck cares about your legs getting cold, are you wearing fucking shorts or something? they should be hot enough with jeans/joggers
User avatar #155342 to #155328 - ishallsmiteyou (5 hours ago) [-]
Something tells me you don't know how shitty Ontario winters can get.
User avatar #155279 - comandante (10 hours ago) [-]
This is the last curtain call for me. A couple of weeks ago, i was walking from class back to the shuttle bus, and i see this girl in an dress, the really thin ones that girls wear during summer. Guys, im as beta as they come, never even have went up to a girl to ask for her number, and im not too good looking, but her ass was sooooooooooooo fuckkkingggg perfect, i went up to her, and it went like this
"Hey do you have a bf?"
"no, why?"
"Cuz you have a big fucking ass, i can see it through your damn dress"
She laughed and thanked me for the compliment, and my dumbass walked away without her number. I have seen her twice and pretended not to notice her. Im sick of being a pussy, but idk why im so afraid to talk to her again. I didn't even get her name. can anyone who was shy early in lift but gradually grew out tell me what kind of mindset you have now?
#155360 to #155279 - baitdoesnttalkback (3 hours ago) [-]
no mindset just a simple rule. its used in the dating game. called the 3 second rule. you have 3 seconds from the moment you decide you want to to talk to a girl to actually make contact. anything longer than 3 seconds and your brain will stop you
User avatar #155305 to #155279 - awesomerninjathing (8 hours ago) [-]
lmao what the fuck that's hilarious

next time she wears that dress, say "oh hey, it's that dress i like" or some shit like that
User avatar #155306 to #155305 - comandante (8 hours ago) [-]
FUCK SHE WORE IT TODAY IM ALREADY FUCKING UP IN THE PAST TENSE!
User avatar #155307 to #155306 - awesomerninjathing (8 hours ago) [-]
you dumbass lol goddamn

who the fuck walks away after a girl thanks him for complimenting her ass like jesus christ
User avatar #155320 to #155307 - comandante (7 hours ago) [-]
Dude and this girl is like a fucking ten. i have no fucking clue what was wrong with me that day. I think it worked because i meant it; not as a pickup line, or some way to fuck her. SHE HAD THE FATTEST OF ASSES, like nigga, dis ass was pushing her dress, i could basically see it shake from behind her the way it naturally does, god damn it was fucking awesome.
User avatar #155329 to #155320 - awesomerninjathing (6 hours ago) [-]
imma need pics
#155284 to #155279 - fistfireace (9 hours ago) [-]
If you can go up to a girl, who you do not know, and tell her you have a big ass in which you can see through her dress, you can ask for her number/name/whatever.

Also, since she laughed and thanked you, that's a good sign. Girls like confidence and, this may come as a surprise, but not all girls are about looks. I can't really give anymore advice/tips/whatever you want to call it because I'm not in position to do so. since I never asked a girl out in real life before .

However, I believe that you can do it. Just need to go for it.
#155285 to #155284 - ipostcp (9 hours ago) [-]
Fistfireace, you can ask me out.
Fistfireace, you can ask me out.
User avatar #155286 to #155285 - fistfireace (9 hours ago) [-]
Nah, I'm straight. Besides, it looked you were really getting along with hankhillofthe. He seems better for you than I.
#155287 to #155286 - ipostcp (9 hours ago) [-]
It's not what you think! He-HE had porn!
It's not what you think! He-HE had porn!
User avatar #155288 to #155287 - fistfireace (9 hours ago) [-]
That you asked for? Lol
#155289 to #155288 - ipostcp (9 hours ago) [-]
I'm loyal to people I'm dating.
User avatar #155291 to #155289 - fistfireace (9 hours ago) [-]
While that's nice to know, that doesn't concern me 'cause I'm not dating you, nor will I do so. Not trying to be harsh or anything, but it's true.
User avatar #155293 to #155291 - ipostcp (9 hours ago) [-]
I can change!
User avatar #155294 to #155293 - fistfireace (9 hours ago) [-]
Change? Why would you want to stop posting CP?
#155295 to #155294 - ipostcp (9 hours ago) [-]
You're gunna make me cry.
User avatar #155296 to #155295 - fistfireace (9 hours ago) [-]
Why would you cry?
User avatar #155297 to #155296 - ipostcp (9 hours ago) [-]
Because of you!
User avatar #155298 to #155297 - fistfireace (9 hours ago) [-]
What did I do?
User avatar #155299 to #155298 - ipostcp (9 hours ago) [-]
I don't handle rejection well.
User avatar #155300 to #155299 - fistfireace (9 hours ago) [-]
At least you have cheese pizza to post.
#155302 to #155301 - fistfireace (9 hours ago) [-]
If this picture doesn't make you wanna post CP, then get the fuck outta my face. Kidding, of course.
User avatar #155282 to #155279 - makotoitou (9 hours ago) [-]
she horny as fuck for you bro
User avatar #155280 to #155279 - comandante (10 hours ago) [-]
BTW she looks at me quite a lot. Im a little worried she is just freaked out, and if i go up to her she will reject me. I think i could tell her her ass was big since their was nothing to lose, or thats at least what i think
User avatar #155283 to #155280 - whynotzoidberglol (9 hours ago) [-]
Go tap that ass. She wants you to say something to her. Initiate it, I promise you that the worse thing that can happen is her saying no. You're both human and you're both too shy until one of you starts the conversation. Don't think, just go!
User avatar #155278 - novren (10 hours ago) [-]
hey guise, I don't know where to post this, I am looking for a free webbsite to start a radio station, just for the kicks, with some friends, idea would be 2-10 people broadcasting tops, and around 2000 listeners at the very max.

Now I know some time ago there was a FJ radio thing and the guy hosted it on some webpage but I can't seem to find it and it was pretty sweet. Do you guys now any website similar to what I've described?
#155271 - anonymous (11 hours ago) [-]
So, basically. Some guy saw my friend hand me a cigarette today at lunch and he said he's going to tell Chief (we're in JROTC). I don't think there were any cameras pointed at us... but either way, how the fuck do I handle this? What should I say if the school confronts me? Thanks.
#155362 to #155271 - baitdoesnttalkback (3 hours ago) [-]
turn it on the guy. ask him what proof he has. call him stupid. tell him you could outbench his punk ass anyday of the week and you fucked his mom while he was out failing at tattletale school
User avatar #155275 to #155271 - makotoitou (10 hours ago) [-]
don't do drugs fgt
#155273 to #155271 - anonymous (11 hours ago) [-]
own up to it if you get asked about it.   
   
also... don't smoke. it's not good for you, no matter what you think or what you are told. it's not cool either.
own up to it if you get asked about it.

also... don't smoke. it's not good for you, no matter what you think or what you are told. it's not cool either.
#155274 to #155273 - anonymous (11 hours ago) [-]
I don't do it because I think it's good for me or because I think it's cool, I do it because it's the only way I know to cope with my anxiety. But yeah, after this I'm probably gonna stop...
#155276 to #155274 - anonymous (10 hours ago) [-]
it's not a good idea to associate a substance with a calming effect to anxiety. instead, do a hobby or something that is good for you and healthy. it's a much better way to deal with it than almost becoming an addict because when you get anxious, you'll want a smoke and you'll rely on it too much.

see a therapist if it's bad.
User avatar #155272 to #155271 - derpityhurr (11 hours ago) [-]
deny it negro
#155247 - thelizardlord (12 hours ago) [-]
Ok so I went to that second hand store and finally bought a 9 iron.
However I did buy something else on impulse, a briefcase. A sorta shitty and fragile one but it was cheap so yeah.
As it would turn out, this purchase did have two plus sides to it.
For one, when I walked home with my dog, briefcase and new 9 Iron, I didn't look like a complete serial killer.
Second, I figured I could store stuff in it until the apocalypse.


So what do you think I should but in it?
I've discussed with my consult and he's suggested bandages instead of band aids. Sterilizer instead of painkillers, and suggested a whisky instead of sterilizer.
I have some honey laying around, should I add that?
Alternatives:
Food
Medicine/medical equipment
Tools
Weapons
Clothing/protections
Survival stuff

All suggestions are welcome! Even for Sideism!
#155363 to #155247 - baitdoesnttalkback (3 hours ago) [-]
maybe it makes you not look like a serial killer but im fairly sure you are one
#155303 to #155247 - sideism ONLINE (8 hours ago) [-]
>even from sideism
whats that supposed to mean?!
#155383 to #155382 - sideism ONLINE (2 hours ago) [-]
first off: you should sell off that 9 iron get yourself a fucking mechete. mechetes are cool
secondly, you should get rid of all that heretical medicine, i say burn it
final note, save that honey for later, i hear it never spoils
#155384 to #155383 - sideism ONLINE (2 hours ago) [-]
hail caesar
#155258 to #155247 - anonymous (12 hours ago) [-]
I assume you live in the states.

just buy a gun if you want a weapon, I don't know what type because I went to /k/ once and it seems every gun is shit apparently.

what apocalypse scenario are you preparing for anyway?
User avatar #155259 to #155258 - thelizardlord (12 hours ago) [-]
1 I am not from the states
2 the nuke one
#155261 to #155259 - anonymous (11 hours ago) [-]
i mean highly UNLIKELY
User avatar #155262 to #155261 - thelizardlord (11 hours ago) [-]
I like those odds
#155263 to #155262 - anonymous (11 hours ago) [-]
have you seen the 1984 film threads?
#155265 to #155264 - anonymous (11 hours ago) [-]
you should, it's a really good cold war film.

the jist of it is that the cold war gets hot, REALLY hot. it's not just during the initial attack but it goes onto 10 years after where you see some of the characters living in the new world, you'll love it.

how much have you looked into the effects of nuclear war? just asking.
User avatar #155266 to #155265 - thelizardlord (11 hours ago) [-]
I've played fallout six times
#155268 to #155266 - anonymous (11 hours ago) [-]
is that it?
User avatar #155269 to #155268 - thelizardlord (11 hours ago) [-]
No I am just a moron
#155270 to #155269 - anonymous (11 hours ago) [-]
if you're serious about surviving a nuclear war, look up the effects on the enviroment, health, society and logistics.

the real world that has been nuked is nothing like fallout. a full scale world nuclear war will cause so much dust to blow up into the atmosphere it will cause a nuclear winter and after that the ozone will be in a bad way so UV rays will increase which means cancer will be very likely and plants will struggle to grow.
#155260 to #155259 - anonymous (12 hours ago) [-]
I'm guessing Europe somewhere then.

get a knife or something, a 9 iron will only work for a while because they're not designed to hit heavy things and they will bend.

if you live in a city, it is highly likely you'll survive, even with what you have unless you sit in a bunker waiting for it to happen.
#155253 to #155247 - dehumanizer (12 hours ago) [-]
9 iron - a weapon

why dont you just get a big ass knife or a sword?
User avatar #155254 to #155253 - thelizardlord (12 hours ago) [-]
And where would I find a sword? In my closet?
#155255 to #155254 - dehumanizer (12 hours ago) [-]
Buy one, or an axe.
User avatar #155257 to #155255 - thelizardlord (12 hours ago) [-]
I actually looked in my closet and there is a sword there. Beside the axe...
#155246 - ilikelizards (12 hours ago) [-]
If you want a gaming PC should you buy a built one or build it yourself?
#155364 to #155246 - baitdoesnttalkback (3 hours ago) [-]
go to the video game or tech board. they got people that handle that
User avatar #155251 to #155246 - thelizardlord (12 hours ago) [-]
If you're not very technical yourself you should buy a built one.
User avatar #155245 - whynotzoidberglol (12 hours ago) [-]
Hey dudes, I'm trying to gather up some money to go to the Philippines(Specifically Manila) I'm trying to figure out how to gather up money for a plane ticket. Do any of you have ideas? I'm considering posting something on here, but I wouldn't know how or where to begin. Please help me, I need help.
User avatar #155309 to #155245 - ScottP (8 hours ago) [-]
If you have any marketable skills you could try finding odd client-based jobs like film production or art commissions.
#155244 - ussioc (12 hours ago) [-]
Okay gonna be going to some freshers week event, a UV light party, never really been to any before but there will be girls dancing, duh, and eventually after chatting to them they'd wanna dance, my question is, what the fuck do I do? I can't dance for shit.
#155252 to #155244 - dehumanizer (12 hours ago) [-]
Dont wear your cum soaked clothes.
#155256 to #155252 - ussioc (12 hours ago) [-]
Omg thanks, phew, almost would have worn them if it wasn't for you!
#155224 - theseventhmirror (13 hours ago) [-]
What do you do when you find gum in your hair and you know exactly who did it?
User avatar #155249 to #155224 - derpityhurr (12 hours ago) [-]
gradually make more chewed up gum appear near the perpetrator
User avatar #155215 - maxzloch (13 hours ago) [-]
So, I noticed admin is quite the ass to bronies. Anyone know why? Or what his take on them are? (I know there are very many different views.)
#155366 to #155215 - baitdoesnttalkback (3 hours ago) [-]
because he self hates
#155223 to #155215 - dehumanizer (13 hours ago) [-]
Because they are faggots.
User avatar #155216 to #155215 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx ONLINE (13 hours ago) [-]
He's a troll.
User avatar #155217 to #155216 - maxzloch (13 hours ago) [-]
Really? Because he made a whole wiki page, calls 'em retards, tons of really negative stuff, and the other groups are fine.
User avatar #155218 to #155217 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx ONLINE (13 hours ago) [-]
Even so, some people go far out of their way in boredom just for some laughs.
For instance:
Dehumānizer
User avatar #155219 to #155218 - maxzloch (13 hours ago) [-]
We got any idea what he really thinks though, or does he just troll, and that's as much as we know?
User avatar #155220 to #155219 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx ONLINE (13 hours ago) [-]
He just trolls, man.
Everything he posts is bait.

"I can't pay my bills!"
'Ha, just wanted to see how many people would support FunnyJunk.'

If he really cared about anything done on this website, he would have shut down the Brony board and banned any users who post anything related to MLP.
User avatar #155221 to #155220 - maxzloch (13 hours ago) [-]
Alright, thanks fer putting up with a silly noob like me.
User avatar #155206 - hankhillofthe ONLINE (13 hours ago) [-]
Not really looking for advice, just wondering if anyone can explain this:

>Be masturbating just now
>NothingUnusualhere.png
>Be flipping through the usual material
>Trying to find something good
>Settle on some facesitting doujinshi nonsense
>Something feels different
>Approaching climax
>All aboard the orgasm train
>Something happens that's never happened before
>Literal warmth shoots throughout my body
>It's like when you feel a wash of embarassment except no emotions, just temperature
>WhatTheFuckingFuckerFuck.avi
>Feeling mostly in my torso
>Lift up shirt
>Entire front of my body looks like a Rosatia kid's cheeks
>WhatTheFuckingFuckerFuck.avi
>FeelsGoodMan.jpg
>IAin'tEven_Mad.png
>Bask in sweet warm afterglow

What the fuck just happened?
#155367 to #155206 - baitdoesnttalkback (3 hours ago) [-]
you just became a black man
User avatar #155209 to #155206 - ipostcp (13 hours ago) [-]
You came.
User avatar #155207 to #155206 - ferrettamer (13 hours ago) [-]
You orgasmed. Congrats
User avatar #155212 to #155207 - hankhillofthe ONLINE (13 hours ago) [-]
Listen here motherfucker, I've been masturbating upwards of 2-digit numbers every day since Elementary School, are you telling me I just experienced what's supposed to happen normally?

Like, everybody gets fucking hot during sexual anything, but I'm talking I didn't feel an orgasm. The shooting sensation was replaced with heat and only heat, minus the throbbing cock.
#155231 to #155212 - anonymous (12 hours ago) [-]
wait hold the phone.

2 digits? you're telling me you do it more than 10 times a day? A DAY?
User avatar #155235 to #155231 - hankhillofthe ONLINE (12 hours ago) [-]
Not anymore.

But not only have I done it before, if I really wanted to, it seriously would be no thing at all.

When you jack off as often as I do, you figure out some really efficient methods.

See some comments down where a guy asked me to do it again, and I returned in 4 minutes with results.
#155237 to #155235 - anonymous (12 hours ago) [-]
but you still did it over double digits?

I don't believe that's even biologically possible. once maybe twice is enough for most people.
User avatar #155238 to #155237 - hankhillofthe ONLINE (12 hours ago) [-]
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Sorry anon, I don't mean to sound like a dick.

But trust me, it's possible. Oh sweet lord, is it possible.
#155242 to #155238 - anonymous (12 hours ago) [-]
Fine I trust you on that. It must take up a lot of time.

I lose all interest after I finish, oh well
User avatar #155243 to #155242 - hankhillofthe ONLINE (12 hours ago) [-]
It did. Nowadays I'm more like you. I just use it to relieve sexual tension.

But trust me, the methods I have created over the years...I shortly went from needing like an hour with the fucking jerking motion to seriously needing 4 or less minutes.

With the average refractory period of a man being 7-10 minutes, you can just do the math on how many times from dawn to dusk I could jack off.
#155225 to #155212 - ipostcp (13 hours ago) [-]
You could do it again. See if it happens.
You could do it again. See if it happens.
User avatar #155226 to #155225 - hankhillofthe ONLINE (12 hours ago) [-]
Tried it, had an ordinary orgasm.
User avatar #155227 to #155226 - ipostcp (12 hours ago) [-]
Maybe you were actually horny instead of beating off simply cause of routine, ya know?

I know if I ever actually get horny and do it, it is a lot better.

Also pics are appreciated.
User avatar #155228 to #155227 - hankhillofthe ONLINE (12 hours ago) [-]
That could be the case.

I just recently fell absolutely mad in requited love, so it's entirely possible that the emotional aspect is returning and it's just been a long time.

I'm 19, so nice try Mr. CP
I-It's not like I want to give you any pics! Baka!
User avatar #155229 to #155228 - ipostcp (12 hours ago) [-]
I'm 19 too. I'm not into little kids either.
User avatar #155230 to #155229 - hankhillofthe ONLINE (12 hours ago) [-]
O.

What kind of pics do you mean, even?
#155232 to #155230 - ipostcp (12 hours ago) [-]
You're jokin, right?
User avatar #155233 to #155232 - hankhillofthe ONLINE (12 hours ago) [-]
I mean, if you're asking for dick pics, I'm not ashamed to admit I have those.
User avatar #155234 to #155233 - ipostcp (12 hours ago) [-]
That's what I'm talkin about.
#155240 to #155239 - ipostcp (12 hours ago) [-]
Thank you.
#155241 to #155240 - hankhillofthe ONLINE (12 hours ago) [-]
Make sure to use that when admin-senpai finally notices me and I become Fj famous A.K.A. I get lots of thumbs and everyone hates me
User avatar #155248 to #155241 - ipostcp (12 hours ago) [-]
Well if you wanna be a slut then you can take more, like cum and all.
#155250 to #155248 - hankhillofthe ONLINE (12 hours ago) [-]
Haha, I actually thought about doing a video about how I jerk to get the least time-to-orgasm.

Just so you know, I'm a straight man, but I'll keep ya in mind if I ever do make that.

Semen is just so friggin' messy
Though, I could just jerk it until there's nothing even coming out
But I guess that wouldn't be as fun
User avatar #155267 to #155250 - ipostcp (11 hours ago) [-]
I'm not straight, but feel free to include me on shenanigans.
[ 138251 comments ]
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)