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Latest users (5): confusedasian, focalanemo, nigalthornberry, thedudeistheman, tomowrath, anonymous(17).
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#168381 - anonymous (27 minutes ago) [-]
Hey FunnyJunk. I need help.
Me and my girlfriend are wanting to start a BDSM Dom/Sub relationship. Anyone have any GOOD examples of contracts we can use?
Pic related, the collar my sub will be wearing.!!!!
#168383 to #168381 - confusedasian (7 minutes ago) [-]
Get into the holiday spirit and wrap her in gift wrap. When she starts talking put a ribbon over her mouth to shut her up. Take jumbo candy canes and plug all of her holes up. Make sure it's extra minty for her vagina so that she knows what it feels like to chew 5 gum.
Get into the holiday spirit and wrap her in gift wrap. When she starts talking put a ribbon over her mouth to shut her up. Take jumbo candy canes and plug all of her holes up. Make sure it's extra minty for her vagina so that she knows what it feels like to chew 5 gum.
#168375 - godsmokesweed (1 hour ago) [-]
Need a good torrent website or something that can get me a cracked version of auto tune EFX 3 by antarestech.
Need It asap -- all other boards arent active enough for me to want to ask.

Help if you can.

I know of Demonoid -- I have no idea how to use it and every time I have i've gotten a virus.
#168368 - anonymous (1 hour ago) [-]
Finally after puberty, my crush of 4 years that put me into the deep abyss of a friendzone finally slept over at my house and I finally lost the V-card to my idea of the perfect girl.
She also said she could see herself in a relationship with me even though shes turned down numerous guys and said she doesnt like serious relationships.

Im supposed to be happy right? Well, god wants me to slit my wrists so heres the downsides

>I moved to another state
>my best friend is desperately in love with her.
>also I never finished during sex because she got tired after 30-40 minutes of fucking

The main advice I need is how the fuck do I jizz in like a good 15-20 minutes?
#168378 to #168368 - newzalaman (49 minutes ago) [-]
first problem: don't try a long distance relationship. i'm not gonna say they never work. but they're too much trouble for usually so little gain.

second problem: see first problem. also even if you didn't move, she would still like you. your friends just gotta deal with it. trust me, if he really is your best friend, he would get over it.

third problem: it's nothing to worry about. my first time was like an hour. it was your first time, and you didn't know how to do it like at all. also you were probably nervous as fuck. it fixes itself when you get more experience, and even if it doesn't with the experience you have you can drive women crazy ;)
#168380 to #168378 - anonymous (27 minutes ago) [-]
haha I guess you may be right.
User avatar #168369 to #168368 - focalanemo ONLINE (1 hour ago) [-]
first problem: Maybe try out a long distance relationship

2nd problem: it is non existent anymore because you already fucked her, and she likes you, not your best friend.

3rd problem: dunno check webs
#168374 to #168369 - anonymous (1 hour ago) [-]
That wont work, im sure.

Yeah but i feel like a douche a bit

It told me to stop taking my anti-depressants and to masturbate with my other hand.
(idk, ill see if that helps)
#168377 to #168374 - anonymous (56 minutes ago) [-]
Even though I would definately be down for a long distance relationship :/
#168367 - anonymous (2 hours ago) [-]
another cancerous girl advice. sorry. so i told this girl i like we should do something tomorrow after class. she said sure, but also said she's gonna ask our other classmates and we can do something all together. i imagine that's not a good sign?
#168376 to #168367 - minutes ONLINE (58 minutes ago) [-]
Sometimes girls do this when they are shy. Like a month ago I made plans with a girl to go on a christmas market, wasn't sure if she thinks of it as a date, she brought like 4 friends so i thought damn i am stupid, but they all left after 2 hours and than it was a date.
User avatar #168370 to #168367 - focalanemo ONLINE (1 hour ago) [-]
Depends on the way you asked her.
I think she didn't realize you were asking her on something like a date, but to do something fun with friends. That she accepted to do something is a step in the right direction I guess
#168372 to #168370 - anonymous (1 hour ago) [-]
we'll see. i told her i meant her and me when i said "we" but it's ok if other people tag along too. let's see where that takes me.
User avatar #168366 - karlKroenen ONLINE (2 hours ago) [-]
So my neighbor wont trim his trees and like 50 lbs of palm branches were digging into the side of my house so my dad cut them and threw them over the fence, then today my neighbor throws every single one of his branches back over. Is this illegal, can we legally force him to take them?
User avatar #168363 - confusedasian (5 hours ago) [-]
Where can I watch deadliest warriors online? I don't celebrate holidays. Like any of them. So I'm just going to watch this show because I don't have anything else to do.
User avatar #168371 to #168363 - focalanemo ONLINE (1 hour ago) [-]
ask tv board
User avatar #168379 to #168371 - confusedasian (31 minutes ago) [-]
I didn't post this over there either? I thought I did.
User avatar #168382 to #168379 - focalanemo ONLINE (11 minutes ago) [-]
I don't know, I don't visit that board but I thought they could help you there.
User avatar #168384 to #168382 - confusedasian (6 minutes ago) [-]
No, it's alright. I actually forgot to.
User avatar #168352 - xxazeritsxx (6 hours ago) [-]
Hey FJ, i just got a new computer and it's a bit too slow. I need to know how to speed it up a little.
User avatar #168354 to #168352 - advicedude (6 hours ago) [-]
try adding more ram.
#168353 to #168352 - anonymous (6 hours ago) [-]
what are your specs? also if its brand new and its slow, you cant really download anything to make it faster. You need to upgrade some hardware
#168345 - anonymous (7 hours ago) [-]
alright, so I went on a date with this girl. Things weren't bad and she really likes me. She kind of came across as clingy and she's a bit bigger. I'm not sure if I want to keep going out with her or not. Any advice?
User avatar #168355 to #168345 - advicedude (6 hours ago) [-]
Clingy is only bad if you don't like the person.
#168365 to #168355 - anonymous (3 hours ago) [-]
debateable. i see where you are coming from, but if you gotta work or school and have a girl constantly trying to do shit everyday it just adds to the stress and piles on.
#168346 to #168345 - anonymous (7 hours ago) [-]
clingy how?
#168347 to #168346 - anonymous (7 hours ago) [-]
We went on our first date on Tuesday. She wants to hang out on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
#168348 to #168347 - anonymous (7 hours ago) [-]
Just tell her that seems a bit too soon and too much time for being around each other after the first date. And for her being bigger than you, that's something that she needs to work on and something you shouldn't worry about. If she doesn't want to take care of herself, I can understand that you don't want to be with her. If you don't think its going to be good with this girl then drop her ass. Just tell her you don't think its going to work out.
#168350 to #168348 - anonymous (7 hours ago) [-]
Thanks man, that helps a lot! Merry Christmas!
User avatar #168343 - anusdestoyer (8 hours ago) [-]
Yesterday i got $50 from my mom as a Christmas present I had said before that i didnt want anything but she still got me that , my mom didn't get anything though, even from my lazy ass step-dad. Any advice on what i can buy my mom as a christmas present with those $50??
inb4 dildo
Please help, FJ
#168349 to #168343 - anonymous (7 hours ago) [-]
get something you mom would want. do you not know your own mother that well?
User avatar #168344 to #168343 - derpityhurr (8 hours ago) [-]
a card
#168335 - brolaire (13 hours ago) [-]
if anyone is here i need some help with DS's, I got 3DS XL for christmas that came with super mario bros 2 on it, how do i transfer data from my old 3DS to the XL without deleting super mario?
User avatar #168359 to #168335 - rereviven (6 hours ago) [-]
an SD card may work?

If you check in the slot, there may already be an SD card hidden in it when ya buy it
#168334 - anonymous (13 hours ago) [-]
Best antivirus?
User avatar #168361 to #168334 - focalanemo ONLINE (6 hours ago) [-]
Microsoft security essentials is pretty good and free
User avatar #168317 - comandante ONLINE (17 hours ago) [-]
Guys, can i get some advice with sex? my gf says i go too fast, so i don't know. I play with her nipples, kiss, for about 15 minutes, and i guess i went to fast to her pussy. any other foreplay ideas?
#168362 to #168317 - newzalaman (5 hours ago) [-]
you don't have to keep the foreplay too long, just long enough to get her in the mood. nipples and pussy are erogenous zones we all know that. but only focusing on them may and will look amateur. she may like it the first couple of times but she will get bored eventually. what you gotta do is take your time and explore. try different things on different areas no i don't necessarily mean buttstuff . bite her neck, breathe in her ear, kiss her palms, i don't know man, use your imagination. the internet may make you believe all girls have 8 or 10 basic hot spots, but that's not true. they are all different. her reactions will direct you. only after she's dripping wet, give her the d. now go and fuck away you little piece of shit
User avatar #168356 to #168317 - advicedude (6 hours ago) [-]
Girls can find being intimate more pleasurable than the brute vulgarity that is the male masturbation process. We just grip and tug but they stroke and caress.
#168342 to #168317 - logickid (10 hours ago) [-]
fondle and handle
User avatar #168324 to #168317 - silverzepher ONLINE (15 hours ago) [-]
as in arriving our as in you try and jam a sausage in a key home with no butter?
User avatar #168318 to #168317 - awesomerninjathing (17 hours ago) [-]
just ask her what she likes/wants
User avatar #168314 - bumhurtkun (18 hours ago) [-]
I live in a duplex and me and my neighbors both share a basement where our washing machines are.

Well I just saw one of my neighbor's kids cutting up my clothes. He didn't see me and If I tell my neighbors what the little shit did they're going to want proof. Should I invest in a camera or something so next time it happens I'll be prepared or should I just tell them what happens and hope for the best?
User avatar #168325 to #168314 - silverzepher ONLINE (15 hours ago) [-]
So you have a lease? dose it have anything about communal areas and privacy there in? do you have other valuables down there that you could say you are trying to "keep safe from any outside threats"? always have a cover story.
#168315 to #168314 - anonymous (18 hours ago) [-]

#168308 - anonymous (19 hours ago) [-]
Does anybody know that one Youtube video that has a couple, one an angry man and a calm and loving lady and the video goes on by portraying their life until the wife falls ill and the man goes bat shit crazy and starts drinking until the final scene enters and they're standing their as a pendulum swings, he gets mad and holds onto the pendulum as he cries so his wife doesn't die until his wife beckons for him to let her go and he complies and it ends with them standing there and make viewers feel a feely feel?
User avatar #168336 to #168308 - franklyimaperson (13 hours ago) [-]
Muse: Exogenesis Symphony Part III - HD -  Redemption  (video oficial) Here you go, merry christmas
#168333 to #168308 - bondofsnow (14 hours ago) [-]
User avatar #168326 to #168308 - silverzepher ONLINE (15 hours ago) [-]
i want to say that was a gif nor a YouTube video and i don't have it, but i remember it.
User avatar #168305 - rereviven (20 hours ago) [-]
My internet keeps dying like every 15 minutes and i have to constantly reset my router and modem for it to work. Do i need new things or can i try something else?
User avatar #168357 to #168305 - advicedude (6 hours ago) [-]
replace wires first, then modem.
User avatar #168364 to #168357 - rereviven (3 hours ago) [-]
Whelp that mighta done it
User avatar #168360 to #168357 - rereviven (6 hours ago) [-]
Holy shit i never thought of that
User avatar #168340 to #168305 - megasharkman (11 hours ago) [-]
The coax cable or splitter could be bad. Possibly the modem. You'll have to troubleshoot.
User avatar #168285 - pokemonstheshiz (12/24/2014) [-]
What's a good christmas movie that is not one of the following:
Frozen, Elf, Home Alone, Polar Express, anything with Tim Allen
User avatar #168337 to #168285 - megasharkman (12 hours ago) [-]
Die Hard
User avatar #168316 to #168285 - jibao (18 hours ago) [-]
Jingle All the Way
User avatar #168306 to #168285 - phoenixforger (20 hours ago) [-]
It's A Wonderful Life- If you feel like feeling
How The Grinch Stole Christmas (Original Animation)/ Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer/ Peanuts Christmas- If you want nostalgia or whimsy
#168304 to #168285 - anonymous (21 hours ago) [-]
Die Hard
User avatar #168307 to #168304 - marinepenguin ONLINE (20 hours ago) [-]
I understood that reference.
User avatar #168303 to #168285 - derpityhurr (22 hours ago) [-]
charlie brown specials
#168291 to #168285 - braveblue (12/25/2014) [-]
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
User avatar #168270 - studbeefpile ONLINE (12/24/2014) [-]
Who is the masketta man? he a mercenary?
User avatar #168255 - kusahl (12/24/2014) [-]
I want to buy a new gaming laptop because the one I use now is getting old and sometimes the keyboard doesnt respond. For example I'm in a bossfight and I need to heal but my hotbar is currently on a buff or something and the arrowkey just does not fucking work, like I can hold it down and I can tap the shit out of it and it'll just not react until a few moments later when I've died anyway, while another arrowkey is so sensitive I don't even have to actually press it for it to respond.

But nontheless, the computer works. I can play without lag, sometimes the keyboard is fine and I can internet and watch tvshows just fine. I just want a new computer and I can finally afford it.
I just feel like it's a waste of money if I don't literally need a new computer right now, last time I went pc shopping was because I spilled water on the one I had and it wouldn't start anymore, but my friend told me that I could have one laptop for gaming and one for shows and school/work whatever.

Should I get a new computer? Pros and cons in your opinions? I could technically use this laptop for "storage" although it still seems like a waste.
User avatar #168338 to #168255 - megasharkman (12 hours ago) [-]
You can probably switch out the keyboard pretty easily yourself. A new one costs like $15. I did it and I don't even know how to build a PC.
User avatar #168284 to #168255 - focalanemo ONLINE (12/24/2014) [-]
Don't get a gaming laptop. Get a gaming PC and a cheaper laptop for work/school.
Gaming laptops are not worth the money, only if you travel very often.
User avatar #168289 to #168284 - kusahl (12/24/2014) [-]
I do travel very often, I am aware that laptops are pretty shit for gaming but I need the flexibility.
User avatar #168292 to #168289 - focalanemo ONLINE (12/25/2014) [-]
If the laptop you have now can still run games at decent FPS, I wouldn't buy a new one but fix the keyboard instead.

If you enjoy everything at the highest settings possible, you should get a new one.
User avatar #168293 to #168292 - kusahl (12/25/2014) [-]
thank you
User avatar #168268 to #168255 - sugoi (12/24/2014) [-]
How old is your current laptop?
If it's too old to play current games at decent settings (like medium all around and some high) then just buy a new one. If it's still keeping up with most games then just go get someone to fix the keyboard.

But if that turns out to be more expensive then just buy a new one.
User avatar #168272 to #168268 - kusahl (12/24/2014) [-]
i think it's maybe 3-4 years old so it's still pretty young. some games work flawlessly and some not so much but that might just be the game that is unreasonable.
ill look into keyboardfixing, thanks
#168275 to #168272 - anonymous (12/24/2014) [-]
I would have two computers. Use your current laptop for mobile gaming/school/work, and have a main desktop computer for gaminig/school/work. That's just me though.
User avatar #168240 - icefried (12/24/2014) [-]
Cluster headaches are a bitch. Any useful remedies?
User avatar #168242 to #168240 - kusahl (12/24/2014) [-]
well if you're against taking painkillers, you can always masturbate or have a nap.
User avatar #168267 to #168242 - icefried (12/24/2014) [-]
Did all three, for good measure. Headache's gone.
User avatar #168238 - guardianatreyu ONLINE (12/24/2014) [-]
Sooo my older Labrador keeps attacking my pug. I don't know if it's a dominance kind of thing but I worry that he can seriously hurt him. Any way I can get him to stop?
User avatar #168243 to #168238 - kusahl (12/24/2014) [-]
spray water on him when he's at it? get inbetween and become the dominant one.
#168245 to #168243 - guardianatreyu ONLINE (12/24/2014) [-]
He'll just do this.
He'll just do this.
User avatar #168247 to #168245 - kusahl (12/24/2014) [-]
well im not a dogexpert, but my moms exbf has like 4 big dogs and theyre all "im the boss", and when they get into fights or they get overexcited he basically just takes the troublemaker and forces him down to establish dominance. dont be violent and dont hurt your dogs, obviously, but be the bigger alpha. make sure both your dogs follow you instead of them beginning an internal hierachy.
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