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Zoidberg Jesus has taken the floor

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Tags: Futurama
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Views: 1119 Submitted: 07/06/2014
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> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
User avatar #6 - froggen
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/06/2014) [-]
i was thinking about changing religions already. What do you offer to your followers? i mean, i already got a secured spot in heaven and free text messages with my $12/month plan with the christians, and unlimited beer and strippers with my bro the flying spaghetti monster
User avatar #7 to #6 - zoidbergjesus [OP]
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/06/2014) [-]
it's pretty simple. i offer a unlimited free supply of beer and strippers ( strippers soaked in beer if you are a heavy believer ) i also offer the newest generations of every phone with unlimited text and tons of data for internet purposes, also for those lonely believers we have meetings where singles can meet and express their love to me and or discuss their beliefs and hobbies ( so you can find that perfect lady ) also at the end of your life you get multiple choices you may be reborn as anything you choose and decide your future to a certain point ( if you're being a human again i say decide till age 21 ) or you can choose to live it up in zoidberg heaven with me where we lounge by a giant pool of beer next to the lake and waterfall of red wine. This also includes strippers to serve you drinks and other services ( beer soaked strippers for those heavy believers ) and the first believer to die can choose to be the ruler of Hell and make his own rules that apply down there ( he/she may not interfere in my work ) also believers of zoidberg get a 1000$ payment for each month they rewatch every episode of futurama with zoidberg in it ( once each ) finally going back to heaven the first 10 believers to die that choose to go to heaven get to chill with me and be smaller gods and have their own places in the zoidberg council
User avatar #8 to #7 - froggen
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/06/2014) [-]
long live zoidberg jesus
#9 to #8 - zoidbergjesus [OP]
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/06/2014) [-]
you please zoidberg jesus when you die i advice choosing heaven so you may join my council
you please zoidberg jesus when you die i advice choosing heaven so you may join my council
User avatar #4 - generalkingbutt
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(07/06/2014) [-]
I will follow you my messiah.... ALL WILL FOLLOW THE LIGHT OF ZOIDBURG JESUS!
i am your general, your king, your butt.
#5 to #4 - zoidbergjesus [OP]
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/06/2014) [-]
you have seen the light my child   
   
also i am glad you have decided to become my general, king, and my butt..this please zoidberg jesus greatly
you have seen the light my child

also i am glad you have decided to become my general, king, and my butt..this please zoidberg jesus greatly
#10 to #5 - generalkingbutt
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/06/2014) [-]
What is thine bidding my messiah? shalt we lead legions of crab men through the doors of admins lands? or shall we spread the word of peace to those who may stray the path?
User avatar #11 to #10 - zoidbergjesus [OP]
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/06/2014) [-]
we are Decapodians not crab people my child..and yes my child please spread the word of zoidberg jesus so that we may gather enough force to march through the doors of admins lands
#12 to #11 - generalkingbutt
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/06/2014) [-]
Such is your will my messiah... your will be done...
User avatar #13 to #12 - zoidbergjesus [OP]
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/06/2014) [-]
thank you my child..you are truly worthy of the beer soaked strippers
#2 - solarisofcelestia
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/06/2014) [-]
You're going to have to compete with Raptor Jesus, and he's already got quite a large following.
You're going to have to compete with Raptor Jesus, and he's already got quite a large following.
#3 to #2 - zoidbergjesus [OP]
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/06/2014) [-]
i forgot he existed..well im ******
i forgot he existed..well im ******
User avatar #1 - zoidbergjesus [OP]
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/06/2014) [-]
**** i put no this not know this..