YOU GLORIOUS BASTARDS

sparkleman

So, I just turned 21 today and have lurked FJ since middle-school. I post this as one of my first post because need some help though. I have never had any alcoholic beverages and have no idea what to get tonight when I go out drinking with friends. So FJ, I ask you your recommendations on alcoholic beverages that you enjoy. Beers, Whiskeys, Rums, Mixed drinks whatever floats your boats. Help a Funnyjunker out as he enters the wonderful or horrendous world of Alcohol.

Tags: drinks | booze | and | by | God | if | i | see | You | guys | SPAM | appletini | will | hunt | down

Views:	1390
Favorited:	0
Submitted:	03/12/2015

Share On Facebook

+Favorite Subscribe to sparkleman

Comments(27):

Leave a comment Refresh Comments Show GIFs

1 2 >

[ 27 comments ]

Anonymous comments allowed.

24 comments displayed.

#1 - anon (03/12/2015) [-]

try some penis, I hear its really good

-1

#13 to #1 - sparkleman [OP](03/12/2015) [-]

Apparently there is a mixed drink called the Purple Penis, so since whoever you are recommended penis, I guess I should try this thing called the Purple Penis. Thank you stranger who hides their identity.

#25 - wcpapier ONLINE (03/13/2015) [-]

just drink beers, try and keep it too one kind.
we dont want your friends to drag you to your house

#4 - rawrbowwow (03/12/2015) [-]

You're young. Try Fireball. I used to LOVE that stuff. It's a cinnamon whisky that tastes like the firaball candy.

Just don't overdo it. Like I said, I used to love that stuff. It's so potent in flavor and alcohol, that you can pretty much just drink it without realizing how drunk you are. I drank WAY too much of that stuff and threw up way too much. Now I can't handle a single shot of it.

Also, if you are going out, get a fruity drink. They're the **** . I'm a 23 year old guy and I get one when I go to bars. I can drink beer at home, but I can't mix myself a pina colada.

Happy birthday!

-1

#12 to #4 - snooplyon (03/12/2015) [-]

He's young, but he's not 16. I drank fireball when I drank pinnacle.

-1

#14 to #12 - rawrbowwow (03/12/2015) [-]

> I have never had any alcoholic beverages

It's a good starter drink.

-1

#8 - wraithguard ONLINE (03/12/2015) [-]

Just remember that you body hasn't built up any tolerance, and it takes roughly 20 minute for it to "kick in". Don't overdo it.

#16 - LordPickle (03/12/2015) [-]

A good first time drink is cider, I drank a few cans of the stuff when I was 14 and got nicely smashed... tastes like **** now to be fair, but if you've never drank before you'll enjoy it

#15 - chardlz (03/12/2015) [-]

Here's my opinion on it... I like girly drinks, I'm a guy and I don't care that if I had a choice I'd go with like a daiquiri or something w/e gets me drunk in the most pleasant way possible. Now that we've got that out of the way I'll give you my opinions on some drinks that aren't mixed
Beer - bitter as **** and takes a lot to get you drunk volume wise so you'll have to piss a lot. Many guys like it but I dislike the taste enough that it's just easier for me to take a shot of something instead and hate it for like 2 seconds than torture myself til I finish the 12 oz.
Vodka - probably my favorite shot, personally, it tastes like the smell of rubbing alcohol mixed with like a bunch of altoids. Kinda an acquired taste but most people don't mind it too much (some of my friends think it's literally the worse drink but **** them). Good vodkas are (from cheapest to most expensive here) Svedka, Skyy, Absolut, Stolichnaya, and Grey Goose. They all taste about the same unless you have really gotten a good palate for it
Rum - Spicy but quite delish. Get like a shot of Captain Morgan and you'll know whether or not you like rum pretty much. It's pretty good and rum and coke is a great drink to literally taste almost no alcohol but get quite drunk
Whiskey - If Rum is spicy Caribbean drank then Whiskey is the redneck version of that (kinda). I don't have the taste much for dark liquors, personally but I really enjoy honey jack daniels... probably the tastiest whiskey I've ever had.

Some other tips:
just ask the bartender for whatever drink they make best, it'll probably be good
Learn how to shoot just by taking water in a cup and getting it to the back of your mouth quickly without choking on it. do this by just tipping the cup and your head back slowly and right before the drink hits your lips (obviously you'd do it immediately with a shot glass) just kinda toss the cup a little bit faster and the drink should fall into your mouth without touching your tongue much then swallow.
Also, always tip the bartender
also also once you're drunk everything tastes good

-1

#11 - snooplyon (03/12/2015) [-]

Favorite mixed drink: Dark and stormy - Rum and ginger beer (brewed ginger ale, not as bubbly and more rooty flavor).
Try a good mixture of beer to see what kind of beer you like. Most beer drinkers will say that they like them dark, but it's up to you. I can always go for a New Belgium Fat Tire.

-1

#5 - ghostninjaguy (03/12/2015) [-]

Say goodbye to your liver

-2

#2 - crimzonhazard (03/12/2015) [-]

youre gonna want to start out with something mild, like absinthe or everclear

-1

#10 to #2 - sparkleman [OP](03/12/2015) [-]

Which everclear, the 151 proof or the 190 proof mate? Just cause I haven't had anything to drink yet doesn't mean I don't know names. But seriously, downing a bottle of 190 everclear and living to tell the tale is something I want to try one day.

-3

#7 - arolexion (03/12/2015) [-]

Pure whiskey, don't be watering it down with juices and **** like bitches do. Real men drink their alcohol raw.

#27 - howunexpected (03/13/2015) [-]

Shots of grappa.
JK that will actually uptown funk you up hardcore.
I like to settle for a subtle Baileys. Too many and you get diabetes though so be careful

#26 - anon (03/13/2015) [-]

white russian

#24 - ultimtemplar (03/13/2015) [-]

Guinness, it's for men.

#23 - silvanyis (03/12/2015) [-]

Resist the urge to try everything in one night.

Don't mix your alcohol. Pick one and stick with it. Even if you have it mixed different ways.

#22 - intexuz (03/12/2015) [-]

cant go wrong with vodka,just dont get too much ahead of yourself,it will get you drunk as **** quickly

#21 - steveofaiken (03/12/2015) [-]

just drink the cheap **** .

#19 - katet (03/12/2015) [-]

Captain Morgan and coke, ginger ale and tanqueray, a nice bourbon perhaps Johnny walker drink water throughout to prevent a hangover and don't overdo it, don't attempt to drink a lifetime in a single night