You don't know that feel. Or maybe you do.. Yesterday. I realized I don? wan? die. NNW.. We I Ital? We I wash‘? supposed IN MAM Tm” o D o Id been cl luv when mg
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You don't know that feel

Or maybe you do.

Yesterday.
I realized I don?
wan? die.
NNW.. We
I Ital? We I wash‘?
supposed IN MAM Tm”
o D o Id been cl
luv
when mg When We dad when mg mom
fold me told me
fold me
I MMS'
r dla/ owe gain
eill mom because
ml iill- she' ll gel
is sou
I believed her. I believed him. I believed her.
I believed that being born had
imprisoned them into ca life that
was poisoning them.
If I a
mistake Hoof
Haen I need i"
to compensate for
mg existence.
Hal' s uoey I work so hard,
As long as
here, I need
to make maself
useful.
had ruined mg parents lives to justify being alive.
moves in our rec -
room wax; we onle mg Itll " 'latt
Iameli could meg lonelier Er " I I
J 5% P T mulching Shelley
u k g C” cc, , bill norris
R and Robin Williams
e on rended VHS
tapes.
Theg felt like extended I
like distant Q
and uncles.
I' m wag no squeemish
injury or pain)
Cant even
watch eoin
mus! i.: uneed Io slop "weiird
Or mg hear? V
were spontaneously
inn me.
That
sounded
to me.
I love mg job, I love mg community and I love mg husband.
Abut if there were blink me our
CK button I could push of existence, no
would juse pd, hesitation, I would
push it
tij)
ait,
Some moray's ago A couple Last moneh
I fold mg husband I I back on
months ago I gm
donyt want‘ be Q therapist, ,
alive sing more.
l“ zondag,
for the first time in 31 gears,
I didm usinf to push that button.
Tuesday.
I learned
Robin Williams killed himself.
I lanai.) Mal his
w’ friends and {
u public spectacle of or am ones in
mourning -, real pain.
I know I dab’?
know I' llm as
a real person.
an it hurts.
If hurts that
gou' re toof here
mmg more.
It hurts War gm
were as part of mg Me
and goo purposely
ended gems.
Todai I realized that if the suicide of a stranger I never met
could feel like personal. painful loss, how much worse would if
hurl mg own friends and iameli even more lose me?
luv gums Bl
to have bad mam Io push
dogs than bullion.
tootoo
live.
...
+933
Views: 38893
Favorited: 193
Submitted: 08/19/2014
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Comments(208):

[ 208 comments ]

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#6 - Womens Study Major (08/19/2014) [+] (21 replies)
Cry me a ****** river, build a bridge and get the **** over it. You had more that most have had with a whole lot less drama and abuse but you cry about it as if no one else has had it worse. **** off.
User avatar #7 to #6 - HobbsBear ONLINE (08/19/2014) [-]
Oh **** off. Depression doesn't make sense. Personally I think it's because we each have a certain amount of suffering we expect to feel in daily life, and when we don't meet that 'quota' we apply it to different parts of life - this is why people who have tons of friends feel alone, why comedians are the saddest of all, etc.

Depression isn't just about saying 'Oh, well I have more than most, so I should be happy'. It's a condition where what makes 'normal' people happy either does nothing or does the opposite for said depressed person.

Personally, I know that being with friends for too long just pisses me off and makes me want to kill myself (literally, not figuratively - I figure, hey, if I was dead, I wouldn't have to deal with people anymore). Depression isn't just 'awww, I'm sad, and I don't know why' - depression is 'I'm sad. I know why. I can't change it.. I shouldn't even be sad. But I am. I feel like an ass for feeling sad when I shouldn't. **** , if I'm sad and shouldn't be I guess I'm just a pussy. I should just turn the whole thing off. ".

Telling someone to 'get the **** over it' is akin to saying 'You're straight? Well have you like.... tried sucking a dick? I mean, hey it's worth a try.".

So... yeah. I've had more than most have had, with a whole lot less drama. And precisely because of that I hate myself so much more - what reasons do I have to be sad or upset? NONE! I'm not allowed to feel sad, because I have so much going for me. But I still feel upset. I still want to just end it. But I don't deserve to think that.

People who say things like this, and 'Don't be sad, you have it well off' are both right and wrong. I shouldn't feel sad.... but I do.

I don't know how to not be facetious when saying you don't know about it til you have it, so I'll just say that the more people have, the more suffering they need to displace into those happy moments.
#16 - carbohydrates (08/19/2014) [+] (16 replies)
My problem isn't death. Been okay with dying for, forever.
Suicide isn't a challenge. "Dying is easy; Living is the hard part."
My problem is: What happens afterwords? Who was actually right?

Atheists? Nothing happens. -- Agnostics? **** if I know.
Christians? I'd go to Hell. -- Scientology? Alien Space Magic.
Buddhist? My next life is gonna suck.

These are the things that keep me up at night... Crazy thoughts.
#53 - eddymolly (08/19/2014) [+] (8 replies)
Can't stand needles   
   
Has several Tattoos  At least in the drawings, presumably the character is based off them IRL
Can't stand needles

Has several Tattoos At least in the drawings, presumably the character is based off them IRL
#1 - peanutsaurusrex ONLINE (08/19/2014) [+] (1 reply)
God damnit, i thought this was any regular old depression post, but then freaking robin williams
God damnit, i thought this was any regular old depression post, but then freaking robin williams
#43 - essdubz (08/19/2014) [+] (6 replies)
When his Dad said, "I can't divorce your mother because she will get custody of you", he was complimenting him. How is that not a compliment?
User avatar #8 - psykobear (08/19/2014) [+] (2 replies)
The **** is up with that haircut?
#12 to #9 - RedHulk (08/19/2014) [-]
**RedHulk rolled image** She said she had a husband ***** .
#38 - cleateater (08/19/2014) [+] (6 replies)
Get this weak, soppy ******** off of Funnyjunk.

This is neither funny nor junk, and so it has no place here.
User avatar #42 to #38 - doctorfamp (08/19/2014) [-]
k
User avatar #48 - aurumia (08/19/2014) [+] (2 replies)
"What may be a speck on your shoulder could be a boulder for others to carry." Or as my mother put it "Just because it doesn't get to you doesn't mean they are weaker for being hurt by it. We aren't all the same. Everybody's got a burden to carry and the same one can weigh more on certain people than others."
User avatar #21 - btherteen (08/19/2014) [-]
I know this feel
But I cant kill myself, people made me promise
And those people are worth the pain but this world is heavy and I cant help but try to lift it
I know I cant change the whole wold in my life time but maybe I can be the moth that flaps its wings and causes a typhoon
Maybe long after im gone some little thing I did will instigate the beginnings of a better world or maybe I can help someone else flap their wings to
#102 - mankey (08/19/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Comment Picture
#85 - hashtronaut (08/19/2014) [+] (1 reply)
this.. this as a great post.

have this.
#131 - moonboon (08/20/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Comment Picture
#81 - twentyseconds (08/19/2014) [+] (2 replies)
I'd be sad too
#3 - krobeles (08/19/2014) [+] (4 replies)
Its a monument of a mountainous pile of ******* putrid **** to the sheltered nature of our nanny society, when people like the author of this half-assed attempt at introspection, can claim to feel a deep personal lose and actual emotional pain from the death of a neigh inconsequential stranger.
If nobody had told you of his death, you would've never known and you would've been none the poorere for it. If it takes a media circus for you to figure out that somebody has died, that person means nothing to you. Stop crying like alittle whiny cunt over the death of a person you never knew.
This thing has been going on for long enough, and it time we let it die. Preferably by asphyxiation.
User avatar #11 to #3 - captainprincess ONLINE (08/19/2014) [-]
You're crying pretty hard there
What's got you so down buster brown?
#95 - aabbccddeeffgghhii (08/19/2014) [-]
I was going to mske a crack about her tattoos and how its 						********					 that she cant get a shot but can get tattoos... Then i remembered I have tottoos and still cant get an injection/give blood without 						********					 a brick... I'm a 						*******					 idiot.
I was going to mske a crack about her tattoos and how its ******** that she cant get a shot but can get tattoos... Then i remembered I have tottoos and still cant get an injection/give blood without ******** a brick... I'm a ******* idiot.
#70 - gnumag (08/19/2014) [+] (2 replies)
To anyone who might feel like this comic, remember that it will get better. You'll realise that what feels overwhelming right will turn out not to be as big of a deal as you thought. Until that day comes, take this: thenicestplaceontheinter.net/
User avatar #157 - donthatetheplayer (08/20/2014) [+] (3 replies)
One of the things that has stopped me from doing it, is knowing what it would do to my friends and family, especially since all most of my friends have already been through the ordeal of having a friend take their own life.
But there's also the other side of it, I feel if my friends and family found out that I was so far gone to the point of wanting to, it would hurt them almost as much. I feel like I do need to reach out and seek help, but I wouldn't want to put that burden on someone else's shoulders.
With not wanting to hurt anybody, I probably won't do it, and I'm too stubborn to seek help, I'm stuck in between a rock and hard place. And it only gets more painful as the days go by.
#162 to #157 - pimpmeister (08/20/2014) [-]
Honestly, seek the help. You are a strong person if you can handle things yourself, but to deny that we rely on others marks us the fool and will only hurt us in the long run. I found help a long time ago, and I'm glad I opened my stubborn mouth to someone. Your friends do care about you and they would rather see you get help then sit back and hope that you're okay. They probably already see the conflict within yourself. I know that I would rather see my friends go get help. As well, that's what I'd like to see you do too. I'm sure the rest of the sane FJ would also agree with me.
Honestly, seek the help. You are a strong person if you can handle things yourself, but to deny that we rely on others marks us the fool and will only hurt us in the long run. I found help a long time ago, and I'm glad I opened my stubborn mouth to someone. Your friends do care about you and they would rather see you get help then sit back and hope that you're okay. They probably already see the conflict within yourself. I know that I would rather see my friends go get help. As well, that's what I'd like to see you do too. I'm sure the rest of the sane FJ would also agree with me.
#147 - Jowi ONLINE (08/20/2014) [+] (2 replies)
Wow.. This spoke to me in ways I didn't think anything could.
Reading it word for word was like reading what I'd write about my depression if I could find the words between the choking melancholy.
I don't want to live, but I'm too much of a pussy to do anything about it. And I know I'd go to hell because all of the people that would be left with the grief. What hurts is that when I'm around them, it feels like they don't care. They don't want me. But if I died then I know they'd miss me. They'd regret forgetting to invite me to things, laughing at me when I was down, ignoring me after the first time I tried to kill myself because they couldn't deal with it.
Every day I wake up and feel ever more lonely and apathetic towards life, knowing that the only difference I could possibly make to the people I care about was if I just wasn't around any more.
These thoughts keep me awake at night, cause me to suffer nightmares and wake me in the early hours.
I'm so tired, both physically and mentally, all the time.

As for the Robin Williams part, he wasn't my favourite actor ever but I always loved his films, loved watching him on chat shows, watching his stand up. He could make you laugh like and idiot and cry like a bitch in the same scene.
I knew he was depressive, you could tell by how he acted, and to lose him that way when I am going through the same was like a knife in the stomach.

The only time that I laugh, smile or feel truly content is here on FJ because here I feel like people know what I'm going through. We fight and argue about trivial **** . We call each other " ******* ," "assholes" and "Phanact" but the insults are almost loving. Like brothers and sisters arguing. I feel like I have a family here. A ****** up family with cunts like itumblr and biebergotswag, but what family doesn't have its retarded cousins?
I come here hoping for solidarity. This post proves that at least some of you can relate to me.
I'm ******* crying here and, for once, not from sadness.
#84 - themtaw (08/19/2014) [-]
Everyday the thoughts about what i want to do get stronger and my biggest fear is that i won't be strong enough to fight them off. It's strange because i am afraid to die but yet i know i will someday lose the fight and i get to live knowing that everyone i love will suffer so much when i do.
#33 - dragemit (08/19/2014) [+] (5 replies)
Sounds like her father was just too weak to haul her ass out of the abuse, because what he said was effectively "I can't leave because you wouldn't be there with me".
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