Will Ferrell is funny. . I found this wand pod on I Ink In my yard Instanter Hoping It would someday hatch smoething and (toot spiders!), I brought t mm the hou will ferrell star wars bugs God love bugs
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Will Ferrell is funny

I found this wand pod on I Ink In my yard Instanter Hoping It would someday
hatch smoething and (toot spiders!), I brought t mm the house and put it
In I Jar II sat In the ktchen counter far , damg nahog, and I Inna to thak
t was I dud And then on day, I notced It leaked In In
Hour WIT! IT' S PRAYING MANTISSAS cow
They all emerged Mohin the " In hours Heel pretty lucky to have been around
when IN! started "preamp
I learned from the that WI an we In emu In COMIC! and COMM Mich up
to an ml ids II WI q cult to count). but I “lull! ‘ended u with at Imust IO
Iset this In guy he: MID the tree outside my kitchen Marion In Providence Inn I
real' raed n much fun tryig In Inn hum here
So, I took them " out In my tirty backyard and seathe jar In the garden, II. In an
trom when I Ind found the gothica months before
ht out but MW.“ onthean Inn sat there
So. I dumped I bunch rythmn out In In I fund I MIC: where
lam: ants were working I figured 3171:: In manta's , they was
probably Because they If: known to be , I thought I stocki
deliver them dale In I pile II prey I thought this WI! the anytthing to do
I wan mung Very, very wrung
The ants Immediately started attacker In mink!!! They garaged up In them and
started In In I begged than In have mercy I In In MIMI!!!
for delivering them dually hands Ttheir There WIS nothingg
could an In stop the In The man no In speeds around last In the mean
streets II Providence Many Inn Inn below perished Pray For Inn mantas Soul!‘
nus guy here got way. N MINA!!! Just to comb hinting ovens plant
I tank he was WI; In go back down there to ants Or eat them In Just get
an "excuze or somefag Atty, he - going backl
The next day, I went out to check to '" In could Md my mantises settim down In
the garden Hound I dozen or In tryig In set up I commune
I need this In In make wad coffee I' m sorry, but ruu guys are gong to have In
vacate the premises, You doit have In 90 home, but you can' t stay here." I Md
Mem, In dumped than IND my hand
Screw ytou, lady who needs you Anyway
They hung around tor the rest II he day but alternat, I was is 'tthey III;
been here at In
I' ll never Forget yum" I said l nun grown to lave each In In you
Good luck big, nary world!
Hound guy In In garden I mouths my
...
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Submitted: 12/18/2013
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Comments(287):

[ 287 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#2 - epicscorpion (12/18/2013) [-]
>Releasing a bunch of infants into a nest of adult killing machines

SMRT
User avatar #318 to #2 - propanex (09/03/2014) [-]
Hi from 2014!
#319 to #318 - epicscorpion (09/03/2014) [-]
Cheers.
User avatar #47 to #2 - telekinesis (12/18/2013) [-]
It's a Homer Simpson joke.
#88 to #47 - bann (12/18/2013) [-]
I am so smart, S M R T
I am so smart, S M R T
#163 to #2 - klina (12/19/2013) [-]
It's funny because in my native language Smrt means death.
It's funny because in my native language Smrt means death.
#166 to #163 - epicscorpion (12/19/2013) [-]
Mine too, I didn't see that when I wrote it. vowels ************
#39 to #2 - nejcf (12/18/2013) [-]
I was really confused for a while... SMRT means death in most Slavic languages.
#93 to #39 - John Cena (12/18/2013) [-]
i thought it meant shaking my right testicle
#221 to #93 - John Cena (12/19/2013) [-]
It does now.
User avatar #58 to #39 - kievaughnb (12/18/2013) [-]
But that makes perfect sense in context...
#206 to #39 - eggzatron (12/19/2013) [-]
also the simpsons episode where homer shoves a crayon in his brain depicts homer saying something is "SMRT" meaning of course, "SMART". The phrase "SMRT" is referred to throughout the series after this episode. I think this is more what the previous poster is getting at...
#210 to #206 - eggzatron (12/19/2013) [-]
my bad, that episode came out after smrt, it was invented in the Homer Goes to College Episode
#76 - graknab (12/18/2013) [-]
You dumped your baby insects onto a ******* anthill? Thats like dumping 100 toddlers into a battle against 10,000 spartans
User avatar #251 to #76 - nebuchadnezzaurus (12/19/2013) [-]
shiiiiet... but they're different species tho
User avatar #82 to #76 - heartlessrobot (12/18/2013) [-]
Well, 100, 100 foot tall toddlers into battle against 10,000, 1 foot tall spartans.
#36 - liamdurf (12/18/2013) [-]
Mantis' faces when you released them
Mantis' faces when you released them
#211 to #36 - eggzatron (12/19/2013) [-]
source?
#242 to #211 - John Cena (12/19/2013) [-]
Community
#45 to #36 - thunderpony (12/18/2013) [-]
OMG that is too perfect on so many levels. I was gonna post tht gif but you beat me to it, good job sir/madam
OMG that is too perfect on so many levels. I was gonna post tht gif but you beat me to it, good job sir/madam
#55 - akho ONLINE (12/18/2013) [-]
He's back.
User avatar #103 to #55 - nickypickle (12/18/2013) [-]
is that a filter?
User avatar #110 to #103 - akho ONLINE (12/18/2013) [-]
IT'S A ******* MANTIS YOU BLIND ****
#130 to #110 - nickypickle (12/19/2013) [-]
I meant the picture quality itself
User avatar #137 to #130 - akho ONLINE (12/19/2013) [-]
No, it's not a ******* filter. **** looks like that in nature.
#145 to #137 - John Cena (12/19/2013) [-]
...dick...
User avatar #175 to #145 - akho ONLINE (12/19/2013) [-]
...butt...
User avatar #245 to #55 - caelinnis (12/19/2013) [-]
He will slay one ant colony for every one of his kinsmen that died that day

For honor. For Glory. FOR FAMILY!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA_AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH__**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH**_
#246 to #245 - caelinnis (12/19/2013) [-]
I effed my text up
#127 - doctorprofessornv (12/19/2013) [-]
It is a rather rare occurrence when this gif is actually relevant
It is a rather rare occurrence when this gif is actually relevant
#86 - KievLeviathan (12/18/2013) [-]
Only one survived...
you are the Adolf Hitler of parenting
User avatar #65 - superanonymouspers (12/18/2013) [-]
she failed as their god.
#33 - rmoran (12/18/2013) [-]
hfw releasing babies into nest of hungry ants
#6 - infinitereaper (12/18/2013) [-]
Good story
#233 to #6 - obitouzumaki (12/19/2013) [-]
Except the part where she released the baby mantises close to some killer ants.
Except the part where she released the baby mantises close to some killer ants.
User avatar #234 to #233 - infinitereaper (12/19/2013) [-]
Yeah I won't even let my cat outside because I'm too afraid she'll get hurt or sick, nature is ****** up
#1 - reagga (12/18/2013) [-]
if i saw that gigantic praying mantis in my room i would commit suicide
User avatar #268 to #1 - darkroro (12/19/2013) [-]
I thought that the mantis was in her finger,but after i read giant i checked the photo again and i **** some bricks
User avatar #270 to #1 - moistnuggests (12/19/2013) [-]
Why? At what point did people start being afraid of a praying mantis? It kills all the other bugs in your house/yard/garden, it isn't poisonous and overall friendly to humans.

#273 to #270 - John Cena (12/19/2013) [-]
Until the ******* fly. Scary ass **** .
User avatar #309 to #273 - moistnuggests (12/19/2013) [-]
Fly over to give you a hug, nothing scary about a mini-hug.

They don't bite humans, don't have fangs and aren't poisonous there isn't a single thing to be afraid of
#314 to #1 - vlrgll (01/13/2014) [-]
Dude Mantids are awesome. I remember seeing a mantis pod when I started working at this home for landscaping, and later that year I noticed that every once in awhile Id see a hand sized mantis just hanging around, and theyre completely harmless!
#56 to #1 - jmmora (12/18/2013) [-]
i think that's what happened to this guy here
i think that's what happened to this guy here
#157 to #56 - sonyman (12/19/2013) [-]
Thank you good sir for the nostalgia!
Thank you good sir for the nostalgia!
#199 to #56 - zanntaggerung (12/19/2013) [-]
God I vaguely remember something like this from childhood...sauce please?
User avatar #200 to #199 - jmmora (12/19/2013) [-]
Medabots, as far as i remember, there was an episode in which he couldn't fight a Mantis medabot because he found something like in the content, kept it in his closet, and then got swarmed by mantises
User avatar #247 to #200 - severepwner ONLINE (12/19/2013) [-]
I saw your picture so I thought I posted this in some kind of double life.
#40 to #1 - John Cena (12/18/2013) [-]
you should pray instead
User avatar #37 to #1 - ichies (12/18/2013) [-]
I don't know, I hate bugs of all kinds, but Mantises are cool for some reason.
User avatar #90 to #14 - hipickausername (12/18/2013) [-]
Don't muppet suicide
Hmm, I'll keep that in mind
User avatar #115 to #90 - spceinvdr (12/18/2013) [-]
dont kermit suicide
User avatar #118 to #115 - hipickausername (12/18/2013) [-]
I think it's don't frog suicide, could be wrong though.
User avatar #119 to #118 - spceinvdr (12/18/2013) [-]
k
User avatar #43 to #1 - lasmamoe (12/18/2013) [-]
You wouldn't need to commit suicide. The mantis would kill you instantly.
#35 - comradewinter ONLINE (12/18/2013) [-]
Mantises may be feracious hunters, but ants form a society and work better together. They aren't called armies for nothing.
User avatar #46 to #35 - fjanony (12/18/2013) [-]
Ants are some mean mother ******* , you seriously don't want to mess with them, just one ant can lift multiple it's body weight, now imagine the whole nest working together, they can kill a ******* rodent. They are most badass killers among bugs, i ******* love them.
User avatar #11 - Durp (12/18/2013) [-]
I don't know about you, but I would never ever use that jar to make iced coffee. Even after being washed and sterilized, I wouldn't get over the fact that dozens of tiny insects were in it.
#51 - electrickwalrus (12/18/2013) [-]
i 			*******		 hate ants
i ******* hate ants
User avatar #80 to #51 - dross (12/18/2013) [-]
So do all those baby praying mantises.
User avatar #16 - littleliz (12/18/2013) [-]
every year my dad would buy the biggest pods on ebay. producing 800 a pod. every year we would let them go and we would have a good time. one year one came on our house and was on our couch. he liked the light and movement from the tv. i kept him for fun but discovered how smart they were. when i put my hand out he knew it was time to go wherever i took him. he knew that cage time meant food and would hurry in his little food house. he was the best little bug pet ever. and i thought they werent all that smart.
#161 to #16 - John Cena (12/19/2013) [-]
thats ******* creepy
#169 to #16 - ihateemo (12/19/2013) [-]
i had one that i saved from a spider web and i took off the web and released him.

The next day i put my hand in a bush and i got this scary bite feel and apparently if you scare a praying mantis the little ****** will claw you. I swear the bug knew what it did though because once he attacked me he crawled out and then hung his head in shame. I like to think he was saying sorry i saw him every day for about 2 week until i found his wings underneath a tree. god speed little mantis bro
User avatar #183 to #169 - littleliz (12/19/2013) [-]
mine when it was little would sit on my thumb and once i felt this pain and i looked and he was eating me. i was so mad. he had made a pretty good hole in my thumb for his tiny size. had this happen with my hermit crab just a week before. he pinched a chunk of skin off and ate it. i was very disgusted
#302 to #183 - ihateemo (12/19/2013) [-]
not gonna lie i would smash the **** out of that bug if it literally ate me
User avatar #307 to #302 - littleliz (12/19/2013) [-]
my first one jumped on my face and i accidentally smashed it. it took days on my second one to not try to swat it. and finally with this one i had more self control on my reflexes, i just used a pencil to stop him and put him in his feeding cage and he ate in there.
#283 - prettycoolusername (12/19/2013) [-]
>Have the jar standing on kitchen counter for months
>Mantises emerging
>Hey, I need this jar to make iced coffee
#27 - harbingerwolf (12/18/2013) [-]
Very nice Tenodera sinensis they have right there.
I've been keeping and breeding all kinds of invertebrates over the years, including mantids among other things. If you have any questions or want to try keeping them (it can be pretty rewarding) ask me anything.

<---Choeradodis rhombicollis, an old hooded mantis of mine.
User avatar #57 to #27 - jmmora (12/18/2013) [-]
i really doubt this images belong to OP
User avatar #64 to #57 - harbingerwolf (12/18/2013) [-]
"Very nice Tenodera sinensis they have right there. "

I know its not the FJ uploaders, its got a glaring 9gag watermark on the side, i just meant the OP of these photo's.

I found out about FJ because someone was uploading my mantis pics here, if you ever see a white mantis (orchid mantis) holding 2 flies often captioned with "now kiss" thats mine.
#192 to #27 - John Cena (12/19/2013) [-]
lol fukin nerd
User avatar #288 to #27 - Dember ONLINE (12/19/2013) [-]
Well hello there again.
I wish I'd had you around ages ago. I found one of these several years ago and, ignorantly assuming "cocoon? awesome, butterfly!", I happily put them in a little critter keeper - and promptly had the tiny things hatch out all over my room.
I spent days catching and releasing every single one I could find and honestly felt very deep remorse whenever my cats would get to one before I was able to.
I still saw the occasional adult mantis after that, but obviously I had no idea if any were the result of mine.

These are definitely one of my top favorite insects and if I ever have the chance to come by another, I really would love to know how to provide them with proper care - back when I tried to find care guides online (this was around 2003 to 2005 or so), the information was all over the place and differed really drastically from one site to another, so I was kind of at a loss for what to do and stuck with just releasing them in a big morning glory bush where I first found their-- um, not-cocoon.

What kind of fancy equipment would I need to care for a mantis anyway?
How big would it have to be, and how many can be kept together?
And how long do they generally live?

I've never seen such a pretty mantis as that gorgeous hooded one in your picture, by the way. Just beautiful. Was it male or female?
#304 to #288 - harbingerwolf (12/19/2013) [-]
Lifespans also greatly vary from species to species, just over a year is about average im guessing, some species can live to 2 or over i think. The hooded mantis in my first picture was a female, males are smaller and more slender. Sexing mantids is mostly easy, males have around 8 segments underneath their abdomen whilst females have 6, even if you cant make out how many their are males have several short segments at the tip whils females usually have a large funnel shaped one, its easier to tell the older they are.

As for keeping them together you're best keeping them on their own, they are extremely cannabalistic. There are "communal" species although this just means they dont eat each other as much. A good example would be Ghost mantids which are stunning. Provided very large enclosures with plenty of decor and more than ample constant food supply there should be near enough no losses.

<----Orchid mantis, Hymenopus coronatus.
#303 to #288 - harbingerwolf (12/19/2013) [-]
Must be an alternate dimension i have to give you advice
Chinese mantids (Tenodera) are notorious for high fatality rates in hatchlings anyway. Because they are so common in the US they get imported all over the place via ooths, sold as an easy species. The problem then is newbies buying them and failing with them which puts them off.

The vast majority of species are super easy to care for, and for almost all of them absolutely no equipment is needed. They dont need a lot of space and need no additional heating or lighting like other exotics, they are fine at average room temperatures. Did you say you were from or near Canada?
They have very strict rules on exotics over there which is wierd considering the vast majority of them would die out pretty fast with how cold it gets. Some species are allowed i think, pretty sure i recall Canadian keepers.

Its more plant eaters like stick insects which are strictly monitored. Anyway you might want to have a browse at www.mantidforum.net or www.ukmantisforums.co.uk. The former is mostly US orientated whilst the latter has a more european member base. To be honest UKmantisforums is far better for actual info from people, both free to sign up anyway.

The general rule for housing is at least 3-4 times the length of the mantis for hieght, most species like good ventilation. Verticle enclosures are best with twigs reaching to the top, they moult by dangling downward so they need room enough to shed their skin and ample spaces to not moult too close to the floor which can kill them.

Food is the most important aspect i would say, crickets are the most commonly used livefood can be very bad for mantids. Some species can withstand them for a while but too often people find their mantids randomly die on them when fed crickets, think its due to the source. They start on fruit flies, then move to bigger flies like bluebottles, then feeder roaches if they can manage. All need gut loading.

<--- Old spiny flower mantis of mine.
User avatar #305 to #303 - Dember ONLINE (12/19/2013) [-]
Haha, nooo, I'm not from Canada - exact opposite: California. Gets hotter than hell here, next to never any actual snow. Things will freeze solid every night for weeks on end before it ever snows.

And as far as I know, they're only stupidly picky about ferrets and hedgehogs rather than insects. You can own Poison Dart Frogs with no problem, and venomous snakes can be kept as pets with a permit - saw someone selling a breeding pair of albino rattlesnakes on craigslist a while back, if you'll believe that.

That really is very interesting, though - I never would have thought I could have awesome little setups in just a screen-lidded glass tank or something of that nature. I'd eventually love to have a little fiddler crabitat and maybe some mantids, they sound like a great alternative to my numerous fish tanks - which are an absolute pain to properly maintain and potentially disastrous if anything is even the slightest bit off.

Thank you so much for taking the time to explain this to me; it's extremely convenient to be able to have my precise questions answered in a simple, easy to understand description from someone who is obviously very knowledgeable about these creatures. You're wonderful. c:
#306 to #305 - harbingerwolf (12/19/2013) [-]
Thanks, and right back at ya
I wont be able to own a dog for a long long time and untill my situation drastically changes but its great talking to someone with experiance with them
And you have fish aswell?
Lol same me to
I love the oddball/predator kind of fish. I didnt do it intentionally but i have an African themed fish tank now, turns out most of the fish i picked were african, Senegal Bichir, Spotted Bush Fish, and a pair of Butterfly fish, plus two plecs

And if i remember rightly you're pretty lucky living down there for mantids, mantidforum.net would be great to sign up to find out about the mantis scene where you live and the ukmantisforums for more indepth info. Im not sure on the laws over there for dangerous species such as the venomous snakes but over here in the UK you need a DWA, dangerous wild animal licsense to keep most species like that. I've also got dart frogs, they're adorable

I highly reccomend keeping invertebrates, i've had pretty much all of them at one point or another
<-- here's the basic concept of a mantis set up, obviously things can be swapped around, glass or plastic, hieght and width, decor choices and so on. The subtrate is mostly for humidity or looks if you want, i try to always go for a natural looking set up. The lids have to have netting underneath as thtey spend all their time haning and will more frequently be hanging from the cieling.
Never kept fiddler crabs but i had freshwater land crabs, Geosesarma, they look stunning plus are one of the few crabs you can actually breed in purely freshwater conditions.
#295 - meatygoodness (12/19/2013) [-]
Mantises FW being tipped out on an ant colony
Mantises FW being tipped out on an ant colony
User avatar #174 - nimba (12/19/2013) [-]
"Welcome home, buddy"
she said to the giant ravenous insect killing machine
User avatar #184 to #174 - mastersaturday (12/19/2013) [-]
But it's her giant ravenous insect killing machine.
#261 - tombbmot (12/19/2013) [-]
He came back to get revenge for his brothers and sisters
#280 - kaboomz ONLINE (12/19/2013) [-]
This image has expired
> gets 80 of the 100 mantis killed by ants
> "i need your birth jar to make coffee"


******* bitch
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