Why?. . u File: 1395053935091 if-) Mla, 250x214, ) ti ill "Ii FIT: Stews of you getting t: or cockblocking yourself. I' ll start. dmeet girl at party whee stand
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Why?

u File: 1395053935091 if-) Mla, 250x214, )
ti ill "Ii
FIT: Stews of you getting t: or cockblocking yourself.
I' ll start.
dmeet girl at party
whee standing alone
we to her. say seine stupid crap
whee into it. keep en flirting
rune of furfriends CC) riles
me to her
agirl 2 kisses girl 1 en the cheek
ralphy mode engaged
Youre kissing her but not me? Rude"
Harnesses to kiss me as well
agirl 1 gees mad
sleuth are all ever me now
met confused everwhich to focus my attention en
mmake up a stupid excuse and leave
wmm
I cringe to this day.
...
+753
Views: 28238
Favorited: 48
Submitted: 03/18/2014
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Comments(118):

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User avatar #16 - inuzukaa (03/18/2014) [+] (13 replies)
Stories of cockblocking myself?
ok


>Be me.

that's it
#14 - rawrursaurus (03/18/2014) [+] (3 replies)
>be me, 18, at a party   
>know some people but chill in the corner, out of everyones views   
>girl comes over, sits on chair of the arm, starts talking to me   
>slightly tipsy so confident anon comes out   
>im chuckling, shes laughing   
>we go outside to be in private, nomorewizardforme.mpg   
>she says shes cold, puts arm around her   
>feels like 4th base already, the dingdangdoodidly arises   
>do i go in for the kill? Charge up animal, here i go   
>she looks at me, comes closer   
>she says "we should head home, mum wanted us home by 3"   
Tried to incest my way out of wizardhood
>be me, 18, at a party
>know some people but chill in the corner, out of everyones views
>girl comes over, sits on chair of the arm, starts talking to me
>slightly tipsy so confident anon comes out
>im chuckling, shes laughing
>we go outside to be in private, nomorewizardforme.mpg
>she says shes cold, puts arm around her
>feels like 4th base already, the dingdangdoodidly arises
>do i go in for the kill? Charge up animal, here i go
>she looks at me, comes closer
>she says "we should head home, mum wanted us home by 3"
Tried to incest my way out of wizardhood
#18 - evilpapagali (03/18/2014) [+] (3 replies)
Had to.
#34 - daksiprod (03/18/2014) [+] (5 replies)
>be 19 >at some random party i heard about through other people
>go to fridge and check the selection
>only piss water beer and shitty vodka
>take a couple shots and grab a beer
>and another couple shoots 10 minutes later because bored
>get wasted as fuck
>meet this girl who said she was 18, cute blond
>take her to the bathroom and she starts to kiss me
>holding a shit in so bad i'm about to burst
>she starts blowing me as i clinch my ass cheeks
>can't hold it anymore and shit in my boxers as she's blowing me
>shit drips down my leg and she gags
>turn red start apologizing profusely
>she just says what the fuck and tries to leave
>block doorway so she can't leave
>i'm begging her not to tell
>she says "HA, yea right"
>get really scared
>start hitting her really hard with a ceramic saop dish
>she starts bleeding and she's knocked out
>put her on floor next to my shit
>looks like she was shitting and slipped and she hit her head on the tub and shit on the floor
>tarnish her reputation
>no consequences because she moved schools 3 weeks later >MFW
#23 - amazinggamer (03/18/2014) [+] (6 replies)
>Be me last year, 21 year old
>Girl I like invites me over to her house to watch a movie
>Go down to her basement, just us two
>Figure she'd pick out a funny movie just for us to laugh at
>Picks The Vow, that movie with Channing Tatum
>Both not saying anything the whole movie
>Midway through she starts leaning against me
>Panic mode engage
>"Hey I'm gonna go upstairs and get some more chocolate cake to stuff my face with. You want some?"
>My face while saying this looks like I'm holding in a huge fart
>She declines, and I go upstairs and get a slice of chocolate cake
>Come back down, start eating cake
>Girl starts leaning on me again
>Pussywillow_program.dos activate
>Say in playful voice "Hey do you mind? I'm trying to enjoy my cake here!"
>Apologizes and scooches over for the rest of the movie
>Afterwards, we get in my jeep and get ice cream
>Ask her what she wants to do
#76 - Jameshaich (03/18/2014) [+] (3 replies)
> be 18
> at club
> fine bitch all over me
> 8/10, finds everything i say somehow interesting
> all handsy and touchy
> offer to buy her drink because i'm a gentlemen
> go to bar
> no money
> look around, notice she isn't watching
> walk out of club
> home
> Half way home i noticed a £20 note in my pocket
User avatar #45 - tripscausedthis (03/18/2014) [+] (5 replies)
>be 22
>father just died, just moved back to home town
>gf dumped me when i moved back
>first night single hit the local pub
>see two girls one fat one skinny
>skinny one is having a shitty night
>offer to buy them both drinks and tell them they cant have a shitty night
>tell her my story, buy them drinks and leave
>wasn't trying to pick up just wanted a pub full of happy people
>she dances with me later, tries to kiss me
> You need to login to view this link
>tell my mate he has to go wingman
>he sees the fat girl
>walks over to her
>he's drunker than anyone there, this cant be good
>"you're pretty fat, lets fuck"
>skinny girl flips her shit in defence of landwhale
>wildly hammerfists my friend and he gets kicked out
>skinny girl turns to look, sees me laughing
>tells me that guy was an asshole
>"nah that's simo, he's a funny cunt"
>she slaps me and storms off.
User avatar #46 - propanex (03/18/2014) [+] (4 replies)
That was the best short green story I have ever read.
#60 to #46 - hierophant (03/18/2014) [-]
Crows is better in my opinion.
#92 - justabass (03/19/2014) [+] (3 replies)
Say whatever you like, this is the true tragedy.
#29 - minutes (03/18/2014) [+] (9 replies)
Ok so you aren't going to believe me probably, but that's my story. I told it in the comments a few days ago and some guy asked me to do a comp about cockblocking storys and i asked 4chan for more storys. If you don't believe me, check my comments and you will see the date difference between the 4chan post and mine.    
www.funnyjunk.com/untitled/funny-pictures/5057654/160#160   
   
I told it in the comments before, i do this stuff cause i am a retard when i am drunk.    
   
Should I still do the comp considering that guy already uploaded my story?    
   
Btw gif related, it's the one i used in the thread.
Ok so you aren't going to believe me probably, but that's my story. I told it in the comments a few days ago and some guy asked me to do a comp about cockblocking storys and i asked 4chan for more storys. If you don't believe me, check my comments and you will see the date difference between the 4chan post and mine.
www.funnyjunk.com/untitled/funny-pictures/5057654/160#160

I told it in the comments before, i do this stuff cause i am a retard when i am drunk.

Should I still do the comp considering that guy already uploaded my story?

Btw gif related, it's the one i used in the thread.
#37 - monsieurhonkhonk (03/18/2014) [+] (4 replies)
>be 16   
>be sophomore in high school   
>Biology I, last class of the day   
>done with assignments for the day, students are talking among themselves   
>overhear senior girl saying "...and I don't care about his head, we can just have some big-headed babies"   
>I'm the only guy in the room with a big head   
>look two rows over   
>girl's friend sees me look and covers up her mouth, laughing   
>we stare at each other, say nothing   
>2 days later, she comes up to me after school, no one else around   
>tries to make small talk while I wait for my ride   
>I just sit there saying nothing like a retard   
>it's so awkward it's painful   
>she gets up and leaves   
>she was at least a 7.5/10   
>my dad's and brother's faces after they finished laughing at me
>be 16
>be sophomore in high school
>Biology I, last class of the day
>done with assignments for the day, students are talking among themselves
>overhear senior girl saying "...and I don't care about his head, we can just have some big-headed babies"
>I'm the only guy in the room with a big head
>look two rows over
>girl's friend sees me look and covers up her mouth, laughing
>we stare at each other, say nothing
>2 days later, she comes up to me after school, no one else around
>tries to make small talk while I wait for my ride
>I just sit there saying nothing like a retard
>it's so awkward it's painful
>she gets up and leaves
>she was at least a 7.5/10
>my dad's and brother's faces after they finished laughing at me
#101 - kassdesu (03/19/2014) [-]
>Be 18
>Graduation party at my friend's house
>Me and a few other kids are smoking weed in the living room
>8/10 girl comes to our circle
>"I didn't know you smoked! I've always wanted to try..."
>Hand her the bong, "Idk how to smoke though...I've heard of shotgunning, teach me?"
>Agree and I take the hit instead
>Insanely nervous cause I'm a retard, and inhale too much
>Lean in for the shotgun
>Cough inside her mouth instead of letting the smoke out
>"You're fucking disgusting!!!"
>woops
#65 - anonymous (03/18/2014) [+] (3 replies)
>be 17, be at new years party, be a beta faggot. Tall as hell, long hair, going for the metal head look, scrawny as hell but no skeleton. maybe a 7/10 by the time.
>sitting on a sofa. Idk what to do, place is boring, the music is too loud, this shit they call beer is tasting like water, too many white people...
>4.5/10 girl has been mirin me for awhile, she come up to me and sits beside me.
>we proceed with awkward small talk "do you like the weather" shit like that.
>the clock is nearing 12, we all head out
>this girls definitely wants something... touchy, saying "dirty" things awkward as FUCK things , wants to drag me away from the large group
>come up with a excuse about my friends waving me over or something
>rush into the big group and pull my hood up, melt into the crowd assassin's creed style

Now I'm 20 and I still haven't fucked anyone yet. However I didn't lose it to a 4.5/10 shetroll pic kinda related, she kinda looked like that
#99 - superanonymouspers (03/19/2014) [-]
I got one, and I've regretted it a lot.

> Be december 21st
> Girl I like recently fired for not showing up to work (her transmission was shot and she didn't have the money to pay for it)
> Girl leaving to move back to maryland
> Get christmas gift and get friend to drop me off at her apartment to see her.
> She opens door, I give her gift and she's totally surprised.
> I say Merry Christmas and start to leave
> She stops me and says, "Merry Christmas."
> She looks at me for a good two or three minutes
> "Alright see you, later."
> I leave.
> MFW I get home and finally realize she wanted me to stay.
User avatar #79 - infamoustrapper (03/18/2014) [+] (1 reply)
it took me forever to figure out what the fuck antilopeseparatedfromtheherde.jpg was
#72 - warlordstuart ONLINE (03/18/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Story I heard one time. No cockblocking himself but more like asshole brother got in the way. Ill explain how i remember it   
   
NOT ME.   
Warning: HARD NTR   
>be 18   
>Brother 21 and 9/10. Real frat football player guy   
>bro gets laid all the time   
>Go to anime convention.   
>bro wants to hook up with hot nerd girls. Asks for anime title he could use as his favorite for an ice breaker.   
>Tell him Boku No Pico (gay as shit hentai)   
>We go to convention. I start talking to 8/10. Real innocent and sweet.   
>We hit it off   
>thisismychance.jpg   
>Brother comes up and sees girl.   
>She asks him favorite anime.   
>he's super smooth. "Listen, this isn't really my scene. My brother told me to say 'Boku no...Pico?"   
>she giggles   
   
They are now in the next room having sex.   
   
MFW he told me this story
Story I heard one time. No cockblocking himself but more like asshole brother got in the way. Ill explain how i remember it

NOT ME.
Warning: HARD NTR
>be 18
>Brother 21 and 9/10. Real frat football player guy
>bro gets laid all the time
>Go to anime convention.
>bro wants to hook up with hot nerd girls. Asks for anime title he could use as his favorite for an ice breaker.
>Tell him Boku No Pico (gay as shit hentai)
>We go to convention. I start talking to 8/10. Real innocent and sweet.
>We hit it off
>thisismychance.jpg
>Brother comes up and sees girl.
>She asks him favorite anime.
>he's super smooth. "Listen, this isn't really my scene. My brother told me to say 'Boku no...Pico?"
>she giggles

They are now in the next room having sex.

MFW he told me this story
#1 - toxicin **User deleted account** (03/18/2014) [+] (11 replies)
this was posted 5 hours ago
wtf you did all the time
User avatar #3 to #2 - toxicin **User deleted account** (03/18/2014) [-]
said the fag
#69 - tippidyt (03/18/2014) [-]
I've never been a guy who would jump from girl to girl all the time and I used to fall in love way too quickly. So here I present to you, one of my biggest regrets:
>be 16
>at a party
>lying in friend' bed since i'm way too drunk.
>a 6/10 and a 10/10 fighting in the same room. Nothing serious, just fooling around
>notice the 10/10's perfect ass near me.. Never seen her before.
>bite her left asscheek. I have no idea why.
>she lets out a scream, and then looks at me surprisingly turned on.
>jumps up to me, and immediately tries to take off my pants.
>i start pushing her away because i already kissed with a 5/10 earlier that night.
>Next day
>decides to call the 5/10.
>she doesn't answer but sends me a text 5 minutes later, telling me last night only was for fun.
MFW.
#107 - atomicman (03/19/2014) [-]
>At highschool, 17 years old
>7,5/10 girl really into me
>Wouldn't say im Beta or Alpha, I'm just not a persons-person. Not bad at talking to people usually just not interested
>Girl usually tries to walk or bike next to me engaging in shallow chats
>I need to leave the school because of lacking results, she's aware
>She starts talking about it
>'It's pretty sad you have to leave, it will probably be much less fun in the class...'
>'Well I think it's great I hate it here anyway'
>She doesn't show up for the next week
>Her friends talk about how she has been crying the entire time

Mfw
#95 - anonymous (03/19/2014) [-]
woah, i wa there in this thread when it was happening, and now it's front page funnyjunk.

nothing like this has ever happened to me before.... i feel all happy inside!
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