When you wake up after a sex dream. And realize it wasn't real.. That boy has a grown mans head. sex dream funny
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#24 - Eiza (08/07/2014) [-]
Had a few dreams where I had found love. Nothing sexual, just a feeling of extreme contentment due to having a girl rest her head on my shoulder or hug me or just tell me that she loves me.

Then I'd proceed to wake up soon after anything like that happened in the dream.

My subconscious and my conscious mentalities don't get along well because of **** like this.
#56 to #24 - darkdanger (08/07/2014) [-]
I've had a dream like that.
After that I tried to get to know that girl a little more, turns out she wasn't that great. My dream emotions had enter my real emotions and I was really conflicted with my self.
User avatar #76 to #24 - defeats (08/07/2014) [-]
I've had dreams like that where I feel more attached to the dream girl than any girlfriend that I've ever had... Including my current girlfriend. But I can't say I've ever "loved" any of my exes...
User avatar #42 to #24 - perform (08/07/2014) [-]
I've had that happen quite a few times to me too. It'd always be the same dream though.
And I always get to write a short little story about it, reviving the details:

I'm on a grassy hill lying down. The grass hasn't been cut for years, probably since civilization is so far away. The sun shines brightly overhead, forcing a squint to look at it. The breeze ruffles through my hair as I look on my watch. It's March 18th, during March Break. I feel a weight shifting on my chest. It's her. Her brown, almost chocolate tinted hair glistens in the sun. She mumbles incomprehensible words as I chuckle, startling her. She looks up at me. Emerald eyes staring into my soul. It's not an empty kind of stare, rather, it's filled with confusion and clouded thoughts. I can tell she has no clue where she is. Still drowsy, she crawls forward, leans in to whisper "I love you" and then drops herself back down to dose off again. I smile faintly as I don't know how I got here, but I know I'm happy.
#66 to #24 - urapooper (08/07/2014) [-]
I once had a dream where I met a girl and she was basically the perfect girl she was even able to solve a puzzle in the dream I was never able to solve by myself ( It was set in the same location as another dream which had this weird floor puzzle in a part) while she was solving the puzlee she was talking about how the (real) world can be saved by working together and our movements in the puzzle somehow represented the things she was saying. After that I woke up it felt weird.

I'm not joking around when I say this: I only remember being kissed twice in all my dreams that I can remember and it's always by the girl I have feelings for at the time and happens around the time of a family member's death in real life.
User avatar #53 to #24 - higaphix (08/07/2014) [-]
its ok bro, i sometimes have dreams of my ex (who i still love very much despite it being almost a year since she left me). In all of them we always fix things and I'm happy again, then I wake up
#54 to #24 - zaggystirdust ONLINE (08/07/2014) [-]
I'm usually fine being by myself

but when I get those dreams it just starts a whole emotional downhill roll
#49 to #24 - thelastelephant (08/07/2014) [-]
Subconscious' FW I get a nice dream about a nice girl who'd come over every other day and we'd just hang out. Hell, she even had a name.   
   
			****		 you, brain.
Subconscious' FW I get a nice dream about a nice girl who'd come over every other day and we'd just hang out. Hell, she even had a name.

**** you, brain.
User avatar #30 to #24 - AztecJew (08/07/2014) [-]
maybe just to give you taste? I don't know, my dreams are always of me dying or fighting.
#33 to #30 - Eiza (08/07/2014) [-]
Dreams are usually simulations created by the subconscious - though they are usually filled with complete ************** - in order to test how we would react under various wild circumstances. It's a great way for the mind to train itself, but I think somewhere deep down I must be a glutton for self-inflicted punishment since I have these dreams too often.

What's worse is that I know when a dream is shifting into a nightmare, and I can alter myself out of nightmare situations, but with dreams like the ones I mentioned, I can never bring myself to steer away. I know I'm going to wake up. I know it's going to hurt again. But even though I know it's all a lie, I try as hard as I can to not wake up. It always fails.
#37 to #33 - harrytheheadcrab ONLINE (08/07/2014) [-]
For some, the dreams in which we are happy, are the worst ones of all.
For some, the dreams in which we are happy, are the worst ones of all.
User avatar #7 - olmesy ONLINE (08/06/2014) [-]
I once had a dream where I'd achieved all my life dreams.
I'd gotten my dream job, perfect wife, great house, lovely kids and a boat. At the end of the dream I was having a party on my boat and I was so excited I dived off the boat into the sea.

I woke up because I was falling. Much anger ensued.
User avatar #85 to #7 - zuflux ONLINE (08/07/2014) [-]
I dreamed that I was drowning in a pool, and woke up ghasping for air.
That's the scariest dream I've had, and it kinda annoys me.
User avatar #89 to #85 - shadownigga (08/07/2014) [-]
What if it wasn't a dream? What if you were drowning and were thrown into a coma and now reside in this fantasy world because you can't wake up.
If you're reading this, you've been in a coma for 20 years now. We're trying a new technique. We don't know where this message will appear in your dream, but we hope we're getting through. Please wake up! We miss you...
User avatar #91 to #89 - zuflux ONLINE (08/07/2014) [-]
Haha, that would be a fun thing, wouldn't it? Well, coma or not, what I percieve as reality is my reality, coma or not.
User avatar #88 to #7 - beliroz (08/07/2014) [-]
I had a nice dream once, it was horrible.
She was everything I dreamed of, my perfect soulmate. We hung out every day and did fun stuff, growing closer by the minute. One day, we had to move, for a reason I can't remember. We decided to meet up at the place we first met. The sun was setting, bathing the park in a warm, orange light. It was autumn and leaves were falling from the trees, a truly beautiful sight. I waited for what seemed like an eternity, before seh showed up, dressed in the same clothes as she wore the first day. She walked up to me and stroked me on my chin, shedding a tear, "Don't go"
And then I woke up.

I swear I cried like a bitch.
User avatar #25 to #7 - theincrediblemrk (08/07/2014) [-]
Same thing happened to me once, except I didn't wake up from the boat but rather things went all dead space on me and I got eaten.
User avatar #90 to #7 - stenchschleifs (08/07/2014) [-]
As a kid i had a dream of flying a fighter jet, ended up with a roll out of the bed.
#4 - myturntoevil (08/06/2014) [-]
That boy has a grown mans head.
#86 to #4 - karrotj (08/07/2014) [-]
George Lopez LOL
User avatar #10 to #4 - puggerugger (08/07/2014) [-]
that's asians for you
#72 to #10 - John Cena (08/07/2014) [-]
User avatar #23 to #10 - nigerotte (08/07/2014) [-]
he's... he's not asian tho
User avatar #83 to #23 - fffffffuuuuuuuuuuu ONLINE (08/07/2014) [-]
13%
#39 to #4 - shutchyomouf (08/07/2014) [-]
THATS WHAT PEDO SAIIIIDDDDDD ;)
#16 - mikepetru (08/07/2014) [-]
>Once had a dream where a girl was all over me, begging for sex.   
>She spreads her legs   
>Ask if she has a condom   
>She says no   
>Tell her nah it's too risky   
>Wake up   
>MFW practicing safe sex saved me from ruining a pair of boxers   
   
Also that kid's face in the content isn't the face he makes when he realizes he's alone, it's the face he makes when his brain's P.A. system announces "clean up on aisle dick."
>Once had a dream where a girl was all over me, begging for sex.
>She spreads her legs
>Ask if she has a condom
>She says no
>Tell her nah it's too risky
>Wake up
>MFW practicing safe sex saved me from ruining a pair of boxers

Also that kid's face in the content isn't the face he makes when he realizes he's alone, it's the face he makes when his brain's P.A. system announces "clean up on aisle dick."
#28 to #16 - John Cena (08/07/2014) [-]
I think I have had dream sex with nearly every girl I know, including my sister. Weird thing is I get plenty, so I'm not sex crazed. Although I do think I probably want to **** everyone. It's weird.
User avatar #29 to #28 - chickenbones (08/07/2014) [-]
Nah thats normal. I want to **** your sister too.
User avatar #27 to #16 - leonhardt (08/07/2014) [-]
***** you can just wash em
The stuff does come out.
User avatar #36 to #27 - mikepetru (08/07/2014) [-]
well I didn't mean ruin as in unusable, more like ruin as an making a ******* mess
#59 to #6 - karrikoto (08/07/2014) [-]
season 4 (broadcast season 5) episode 12 "4ACV12": "The Sting"
season 4 (broadcast season 5) episode 12 "4ACV12": "The Sting"
#9 - datstalkerdoe (08/07/2014) [-]
Tfw when waking up from a dream where you had a Qt 3.14
And you realize you`ve never seen that face before, but now there`s nothing more important than finding her)
#20 to #9 - panickattack (08/07/2014) [-]
(it might suck to know this) but every face you see in a dream is a face you've seen at some point in your life.
That Qt 3.14 exists bro.
Go forth and find her m8
User avatar #32 to #20 - chickenbones (08/07/2014) [-]
This is true. But also your brain ca use cartoon/ anime faces as well, as weird as that is.
User avatar #15 to #9 - danster (08/07/2014) [-]
I hate it when I don't have a quart of pie.
#65 - dasboof (08/07/2014) [-]
I had a dream where the gal I liked told me she felt the same way. We started going out, the whole 9 yards. I woke up in the middle of the night and told myself it really happened, then I fell back asleep and continued the very same dream. It hurt so much when I woke up.
I had a dream where the gal I liked told me she felt the same way. We started going out, the whole 9 yards. I woke up in the middle of the night and told myself it really happened, then I fell back asleep and continued the very same dream. It hurt so much when I woke up.
#67 to #65 - asmodiax (08/07/2014) [-]
Maybe that is a sign, you should ask her out. pro tip , don't tell her you like her , just ask her out.
User avatar #68 to #67 - dasboof (08/07/2014) [-]
I di e d. inside
User avatar #70 to #68 - asmodiax (08/07/2014) [-]
Why don't you just ask her out or talk to her irl?
User avatar #71 to #70 - dasboof (08/07/2014) [-]
I did, but was rejected. She doesn't have facebook or anything. I have her number but she never picks up.
User avatar #73 to #71 - asmodiax (08/07/2014) [-]
oh? lemme tell you my story , i had a crush on this girl who was waaaay out of my ******* league but i still had to try right? i mean i was so in love i wasn't able to think straight, so after few days of thinking i ******* did it , i asked her out ... she rejected me... so we where just friends from that day.
I then asked her out 4 more times xD she rejected me... 3 times life was great.
So yeah , first reject doesn't have to mean anything, but don't be a dumbass and annoy her , try to get in the "friend zone" first , i know popular believe is that you can't get out of it , but i see it as a pre stage for dating.
Whatever, this is just my point of view,maybe you did something or maybe she just doesn't know you that well , nice/shy girls WONT date you if they don't know you well first , so have that in mind. Also you should know the more you insist the more she will resists , so yeah, be persistent but don't be a dumbass, try to befriend her first.
User avatar #74 to #73 - dasboof (08/07/2014) [-]
I'm on the right track then. Thanks man this really helped.
#87 to #74 - karrotj (08/07/2014) [-]
What sucks is every girl i start to like sees it and tells me no but then turns right around and says i will find someone eventually. So sometimes i wonder if they just say that to make themselves feel better
#92 to #87 - asmodiax (08/07/2014) [-]
There is gazilion people out there and you CAN'T be compatible with everyone ,so from time to time you will run onto those people,when that happens you need to move on, simple as that , i know its hard but sometimes has to be done, if i did it then you can do it for sure.   
Main thing you should have in mind that girls like confidence sauce: www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7PAYhmoKkA    
So try to be relaxed when you hang out with girls , if you don't have any female friends then you need to go out more (also you can use Facebook) , go to gym or public swimming pool , places that crawl with people and get to know everyone you can, its hard in beginning and you may think that people don't like you but 99% of time that's your brain playing tricks on you.   
In the end ,just try to have fun with people and DON'T OVER THINK YOUR ACTIONS you will never get anything done and you will feel bad about stupid things that happen to everyone anyways.   
I don't know why am i in such a mood to give people advices today but if i help at least 1 person im happy.   
   
Cheers mate   
   
P.S. Be the leaf
There is gazilion people out there and you CAN'T be compatible with everyone ,so from time to time you will run onto those people,when that happens you need to move on, simple as that , i know its hard but sometimes has to be done, if i did it then you can do it for sure.
Main thing you should have in mind that girls like confidence sauce: www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7PAYhmoKkA
So try to be relaxed when you hang out with girls , if you don't have any female friends then you need to go out more (also you can use Facebook) , go to gym or public swimming pool , places that crawl with people and get to know everyone you can, its hard in beginning and you may think that people don't like you but 99% of time that's your brain playing tricks on you.
In the end ,just try to have fun with people and DON'T OVER THINK YOUR ACTIONS you will never get anything done and you will feel bad about stupid things that happen to everyone anyways.
I don't know why am i in such a mood to give people advices today but if i help at least 1 person im happy.

Cheers mate

P.S. Be the leaf
#93 to #92 - karrotj (08/07/2014) [-]
Dude i have like a million female friends, and i always start confident untill friendzoned, but i never stop being relaxed, in fact i got married to the girl of my dreams we were 100% compatible, but then she had a bipolar breakdown and left, and when she recovered her feelings had completely changed
User avatar #94 to #93 - asmodiax (08/07/2014) [-]
Oh so its much more deeper than i though, i assumed you where teenager.
Well i don't know are you guys still good or what kinda relationship you have now, did you tried talking? like, to break it down and see whats not clicking?
#95 to #94 - karrotj (08/07/2014) [-]
havent talked for months, she somehow got it into her head i cheated on her with an old friend. Even though i knew she was jealous so when we got married i stopped talking to the other girl. Yeah i suck lol
User avatar #96 to #95 - asmodiax (08/07/2014) [-]
But you didn't cheat on her right?
If that's the case and you still want her back , you should talk to her and don't even wait for some ****** opportunity,call her or whatever, go for a walk, it may be cheese but who cares.
In case opportunity doesn't present it self you ******* make one.

P.S. "if it looks stupid but works, its not stupid"
#98 to #96 - karrotj (08/07/2014) [-]
And no i didnt
#97 to #96 - karrotj (08/07/2014) [-]
there was no way i could convince her, i tried, after she left she didnt want to see me anymore, in fact she now has a boyfriend even though we are still married
User avatar #100 to #97 - asmodiax (08/07/2014) [-]
I had a friend who would madly fall in love in every girl that gave him affection , and when it wouldn't work i tell him to move on...
oh boy the look he use to gave me would tear trough walls,i imagine you are making one just now xD
User avatar #99 to #97 - asmodiax (08/07/2014) [-]
Then you need to do the thing every one despise... move on
#101 to #99 - karrotj (08/07/2014) [-]
yeah im over her now, unfortunatly since im still married no girl will look twice at me, not that they were looking to begin with. lol, It just seems to me that when a girl tells you that you will find someone it could be them trying to convince themselves of it so they dont feel bad for turning you down.
User avatar #102 to #101 - asmodiax (08/07/2014) [-]
Well... it could mean many things,but like i said don't let your brain play tricks on you ,its not important what she thinks , what is important is your approach.
If you let negative stuff get you then you are going to have bad time , if you just suck it up and move on you'll be okay.
Really sometimes you just have to follow the course of life , now this doesn't mean you should be passive but there are times when you just can't do **** about your current situation.
Even if the girl told you "eww you are ******* ugliest bastard i have ever seen" just move on and don't think what that means because people sometimes say things from the top of their mind for no reason(think about it you say things like that too).
So what if you blew your chance with one or two or ten girls , big whop , there is always more fish in the pond, get out there , have fun , in the end you are bind to find someone who is worth your time, but only if you are not wasting your life closed in the room. And even if you are xD there is still chance.
#75 to #74 - asmodiax (08/07/2014) [-]
Don't mention it, if you lack confidence just do what would deadpool do in your situation...
actually that's not a good idea but do try to be funny and unpredictable.

that requires some training
#69 - John Cena (08/07/2014) [-]
The only sex related dream I had was where I had started getting it on with a girl, but then the dreamscape changed, and I had my dick in another man's ass.
User avatar #46 to #22 - poorassguy (08/07/2014) [-]
lmao at the sound he makes
#21 - monkeysmist (08/07/2014) [-]
The only wet dream I've ever had was when my family was on vacation when I was about 13, and we stayed at a hotel with everybody. It was awkward as hell....
The only wet dream I've ever had was when my family was on vacation when I was about 13, and we stayed at a hotel with everybody. It was awkward as hell....
#45 to #21 - themassivefail (08/07/2014) [-]
Ye, git sum dawg
Ye, git sum dawg
#50 - megayoming (08/07/2014) [-]
Has lucid dreaming.   
   
Don't ever 			*******		 do it. its impossible for you to wake up without a feeltrip.   
   
I learned 10 rules to never dream of.   
1.Dont Dream about Sex unless you have a Gf and sex life.   
2.Dreaming about war/Games makes it vary hard to be happy.   
3.Dreaming about arm dismemberment is bad wake up with a numb/twitch arm   
4.Dreaming about anththing related to food will leave you Ravenous in the morning   
5.Playing with people in your dreams can cause unwanted Kekin   
6.Dream about something you learned is like learning its school2.0   
7.talking to shady people is Murder/Rape/Crazy adventure with a twist.   
8.Anime sucks in dream.   
9.Books you read will be in the dream even if you just glanced subconscious is strong.   
10.Never under any circumstances Dream of a Person you hate with a passion if you value your life.
Has lucid dreaming.

Don't ever ******* do it. its impossible for you to wake up without a feeltrip.

I learned 10 rules to never dream of.
1.Dont Dream about Sex unless you have a Gf and sex life.
2.Dreaming about war/Games makes it vary hard to be happy.
3.Dreaming about arm dismemberment is bad wake up with a numb/twitch arm
4.Dreaming about anththing related to food will leave you Ravenous in the morning
5.Playing with people in your dreams can cause unwanted Kekin
6.Dream about something you learned is like learning its school2.0
7.talking to shady people is Murder/Rape/Crazy adventure with a twist.
8.Anime sucks in dream.
9.Books you read will be in the dream even if you just glanced subconscious is strong.
10.Never under any circumstances Dream of a Person you hate with a passion if you value your life.
User avatar #79 to #50 - sciencexplain ONLINE (08/07/2014) [-]
If you can in a lucid dream, try flying and going into space where there's low gravity. It's ******* great.
User avatar #55 to #50 - darkdanger (08/07/2014) [-]
I've done it twice.
One time I was just running. No real reason really.
And the other one was random crap (I can't remember most of it now), but flying was something that was ******* fun to do.
#51 to #50 - Eiza (08/07/2014) [-]
It's totally fun to open your eyes while lucid dreaming, too. Your TV screen totally won't melt at all, nor will a thing crawl out of it towards you while you can't move due to sleep paralysis.
User avatar #60 to #51 - wigglyjr (08/07/2014) [-]
I've tried lucid dreaming a bit, and no luck... so I tried to atleast induce sleep paralysis, and still no luck.

I just hpoe I dont meet the grudge, aliens or myself, during sleep paralysis in the future.
User avatar #78 to #60 - hammarhead (08/07/2014) [-]
Hey, you. This might help you get started if you still really want to.
Every day, constantly, every time you remember, do a reality check. Ask yourself, am I in a dream? It worked very well for me to look at my hands, and press on my palms. They're stretchy when dreaming.
I eventually gave it up because I would constantly lose it, my brain would think its way out of the dream far too quickly.
User avatar #63 to #60 - demandsgayversion (08/07/2014) [-]
A dream is your mind strengthening the neurons you made or used the previous day by firing them repeatedly. They don't fire in the same order, since there's no reason to, but your brain still tries to make a "story" out of this, which is why dreams often involve topical **** .

You can't lucid dream. You can dream that you're having a lucid dream, where the topic of your dream is you becoming aware of the dream, but actually becoming lucid while dreaming is not possible. You can't fire new neurons while sleeping. It would be like a defragmentation program creating new files.
User avatar #58 to #51 - mightypoggers (08/07/2014) [-]
I've had multiple dreams where I basically 3rd personed myself. but i try to move and cant get up from sleeping.

makes me break out into a cold sweat while sleeping
#43 - John Cena (08/07/2014) [-]
I had a dream where the most beautiful girl I ever met was giving me signals that she liked me, and I took advantage and went out with her.

Then I woke up, and realized that all of that really did happen, only I was too stupid and let her go...
#47 - John Cena (08/07/2014) [-]
User avatar #26 - leonhardt (08/07/2014) [-]
I just hate having to wash my sheets.
#61 - wetpantslol (08/07/2014) [-]
**wetpantslol rolled image**






The content of my sex dreams
User avatar #62 to #61 - wetpantslol (08/07/2014) [-]
Great, even in sex dreams... No GF
User avatar #52 - beardman (08/07/2014) [-]
Back during my finals in my senior year of highschool I had a dream where I woke up, got ready for school and the tests, drove to school, went to my first class, then started taking my final. I then actually woke up, had to get ready for school and the tests, drive to school, go to my first class, and started taking my final.
User avatar #35 - fukkentyranitar (08/07/2014) [-]
I dreamed that gucci mane bought me a bunch of strippers. Pants were changed that mourning.
User avatar #80 to #35 - sciencexplain ONLINE (08/07/2014) [-]
Aww, I'm sorry man. Who died?
User avatar #105 to #103 - sciencexplain ONLINE (08/08/2014) [-]
You put mourning instead of morning, and mourning is associated with the loss of a loved one. Keep up.
#82 - fffffffuuuuuuuuuuu ONLINE (08/07/2014) [-]
mfw she says keep dreaming
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