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what the ever living fuck....

Just have sex with me. No
condoms. No pulling out or I' ll tell
your bitch of a wife we' been
having an affair
She' s already aware of a delusional
psycho who won' t leave me alone.
By all means, go see her, Just don' t
expect anything other than a punch
in the mouth
10: 24 PM
calling the police right now and
telling them you raped me. even
going to give myself bruises to
prove it. Inn calling right now
10: 30 PM
I' screen capped this entire
conversation. I' m the one calling the
police. I' m also contacting HR first
thing in the morning
10: 32 PM
...
+1935
Views: 63155
Favorited: 123
Submitted: 08/15/2015
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[ 127 comments ]
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91 comments displayed.
Reply
+1405
#9 - ldnelson (08/16/2015) [-]
Does this look like the face of mercy?
Reply
0
User avatar #101 to #9 - zombiecreeper (08/16/2015) [-]
Oh my god. This thread made me laugh. Admin bless you!
Reply
+1
User avatar #94 to #9 - alpako (08/16/2015) [-]
No mercy on either side
Reply
+1
#123 to #9 - anon (08/31/2015) [-]
I don't know does this?
Reply
+7
#97 to #9 - theycallmesatan (08/16/2015) [-]
**theycallmesatan used "*roll picture*"**
**theycallmesatan rolled image** yeah, to me it does
Reply
0
User avatar #113 to #97 - epicalania (08/16/2015) [-]
But to a face like that all men have mercy
I want that dog
Reply
+120
#43 to #9 - erble (08/16/2015) [-]
But why does he have a second mouth on his neck...
Reply
+11
#48 to #46 - erble (08/16/2015) [-]
Thanks mate, that gave me a damn good laugh
Reply
+4
User avatar #54 to #48 - BrayBoy (08/16/2015) [-]
You're welcome bud
Reply
+2
User avatar #79 to #43 - distortedflare ONLINE (08/16/2015) [-]
Cause he is double happy at how stupid the bitch is.
Reply
+1
User avatar #47 to #43 - newstart (08/16/2015) [-]
thas a chin lad.
Reply
+2
#49 to #47 - erble (08/16/2015) [-]
Even though I used the "I dun get it" image, I did actually get it. Look at me being edgy
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0
User avatar #51 to #49 - newstart (08/16/2015) [-]
noice
Reply
0
#110 to #43 - anon (08/16/2015) [-]
Because they're both a kilogramme.
-5
#71 to #43 - newpulse has deleted their comment [-]
Reply
0
User avatar #76 to #71 - waterbottlemanboy (08/16/2015) [-]
BEETLEJUICE! BEETLEJUICE! BEETLEJUICE!
Reply
0
User avatar #81 to #76 - newpulse (08/16/2015) [-]
I don't get you.
Reply
+187
#11 to #9 - Iven (08/16/2015) [-]
Does this look like the face of a sane person?
Reply
+178
#14 to #11 - mentlgen ONLINE (08/16/2015) [-]
Does this look like the face of a man who pays his taxes?
Reply
+319
#17 to #14 - warwolfrider (08/16/2015) [-]
Does this look like the face of a man who killed 6 million jews?
Reply
+581
#18 to #17 - mentlgen ONLINE (08/16/2015) [-]
Reply
+62
#19 to #18 - warwolfrider (08/16/2015) [-]
just put my comment and editing skills to shame why dont you
Reply
+52
#20 to #19 - warwolfrider (08/16/2015) [-]
Bigger image
Reply
+7
#60 to #18 - mewtastic (08/16/2015) [-]
Oh it's perfect.
Yes.
Reply
+5
#53 to #18 - pwnfrnzy (08/16/2015) [-]
It's. . . It's beautiful. . .
Reply
0
#121 to #53 - electronicbacon ONLINE (08/19/2015) [-]
Wallpaper version just cuz
Reply
+6
User avatar #39 to #18 - skarrer (08/16/2015) [-]
Now thats a face I could get behind.
Reply
+123
User avatar #34 - betucantmakemelol (08/16/2015) [-]
Lol you can tell it's fake because it's one guy texting himself... Just look at the pictures
Reply
+4
User avatar #42 to #34 - albeit ONLINE (08/16/2015) [-]
Sadly that took me a second...
Reply
+18
User avatar #44 to #34 - cognosceteipsum ONLINE (08/16/2015) [-]
Who has pictures on their contacts though
Reply
+5
User avatar #85 to #44 - zallaz (08/16/2015) [-]
all of my contacts have carlton banks as the profile picture
Reply
+1
User avatar #56 to #44 - kevinator ONLINE (08/16/2015) [-]
I always take a picture of the person I'm adding, in case I wouldn't remember who the **** they are.
Reply
0
User avatar #61 to #56 - cognosceteipsum ONLINE (08/16/2015) [-]
You have several people with the same last name? Or memory problems
Reply
0
User avatar #63 to #61 - kevinator ONLINE (08/16/2015) [-]
I don't usually put last names, I just put occupations instead, I have over 150 phone numbers in the cellphone and a face is usually easier to remember than a name.
Reply
+2
User avatar #64 to #63 - cognosceteipsum ONLINE (08/16/2015) [-]
Dam Son

In my last phone I had only like 20. Regularly contacted 3-5. Could put only their last name or their occupation and still know.
Reply
0
User avatar #65 to #64 - kevinator ONLINE (08/16/2015) [-]
Most of em are business, or hockey players (Playing as a goalie outdoor will make it so your phone is blown with phone numbers) or people that I can go ride with.
Reply
+2
User avatar #66 to #65 - cognosceteipsum ONLINE (08/16/2015) [-]
"Ride with"?
Reply
0
User avatar #68 to #66 - kevinator ONLINE (08/16/2015) [-]
Car rides, Car trains, people following people in mountain road and drive for the fun of it
Reply
0
User avatar #69 to #68 - cognosceteipsum ONLINE (08/16/2015) [-]
Did you mean to say train rides
Reply
+1
User avatar #70 to #69 - kevinator ONLINE (08/16/2015) [-]
basicly yeah
Reply
+175
#3 - pixeldisaster (08/15/2015) [-]
honestly psycho **** like this makes me cringe on how someone can go to desperate measures, just from probably being a lonely nut case.
Reply
+36
User avatar #12 to #3 - captainprincess ONLINE (08/16/2015) [-]
There's likely more to it than that
I'll bet there's a desperate need to control someone mixed in there too
Reply
+410
#1 - darkdoop (08/15/2015) [-]
i always love it when they threaten **** like that and forget that the proof that's against them is right in front of their ******* face
Reply
+40
User avatar #67 to #1 - gharshi (08/16/2015) [-]
psst... that's because these are rarely legit . don't tell funnyjunk
Reply
+13
#72 to #67 - stifflimb (08/16/2015) [-]
NO, everything on the internet is REAL!!
My dong hong schlong IS a cure for cancer!! and a cause for the ginger virus
Reply
+72
#7 - sniffythebird ONLINE (08/16/2015) [-]
Reply
+42
User avatar #52 - runescapewasgood (08/16/2015) [-]
If he actually raped her after this conversation, nobody would believe her.
Reply
+12
User avatar #57 to #52 - tigronn (08/16/2015) [-]
how is it rape if she likes it..

he could however beat the **** out of her
Reply
+115
#26 - caette ONLINE (08/16/2015) [-]
"I'm telling the police you raped me"
Reply
+8
User avatar #62 to #26 - pidgeon (08/16/2015) [-]
"I can give you a stick job"
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+5
User avatar #89 to #62 - leifbunny (08/16/2015) [-]
Well that sounds awful
Reply
+1
User avatar #119 to #89 - pidgeon (08/16/2015) [-]
It's very unpleasant.
Reply
+32
#27 - Barinade (08/16/2015) [-]
My ex was like that, exactly like that. She said that **** every time I threatened to leave her, and when I finally left her she called the cops on me for leaving even though she chased me around with a knife while I was packing my **** up.

I explained my situation to the cops and they were just like "let her get her things out of your car and make sure she's not taking your thing" and I replied with "doesn't matter if I say it's mine, she'll take it anyways." then the cops and I just had random off-topic conversations as she rummages through my car in maybe 40 degrees weather barefoot.

Dumb bitch, lmfao

tl;dr my ex was a cunt too
Reply
+21
#35 - electronicbacon ONLINE (08/16/2015) [-]
Reply
+21
#5 to #2 - masanori (08/16/2015) [-]
I feel like that picture has been edited in some way, but I can't really tell what's different.
Reply
+16
User avatar #13 to #5 - Waldowitharedhat (08/16/2015) [-]
I think they edited it to make his lips smaller?

I dunno man
Reply
+15
User avatar #8 to #5 - nimba (08/16/2015) [-]
somebody added text on the top layer
Reply
+11
User avatar #10 to #5 - arreatface (08/16/2015) [-]
I remember a version that said watermelon instead of lies
Reply
+15
User avatar #15 to #2 - dorfdorfdorf (08/16/2015) [-]
sure he smells lies, he smells everything
Reply
+11
#93 - nowthatsedgy (08/16/2015) [-]
I now get what's meant by "never stick you dick in crazy".

Except,

he never did, and she still tried to make his life hell.
Reply
+3
User avatar #108 to #93 - doctorprofessornv ONLINE (08/16/2015) [-]
Really it should be 'avoid any kind of contact with crazy wherever possible'
Reply
0
User avatar #112 to #108 - guanyu (08/16/2015) [-]
Welp, time to log off.
Reply
+7
#83 - ffinfinity ONLINE (08/16/2015) [-]
Reply
0
#100 to #83 - zmranger (08/16/2015) [-]
Are you trying to turn me gay or what?
Reply
0
#104 to #83 - asotil (08/16/2015) [-]
GioGio is not Jojo
Reply
+5
#21 - anon (08/16/2015) [-]
This has been reposted three times already in the last three days. Give it a rest.
Reply
+14
User avatar #29 to #21 - animehunter (08/16/2015) [-]
link all 3 posts please
Reply
+2
User avatar #31 - zasito (08/16/2015) [-]
What is HR? non native english speaker here :<
Reply
+5
User avatar #32 to #31 - pronphisherman (08/16/2015) [-]
Human resources, it's the part of a company that handles employee relations and what not.
Reply
+3
User avatar #50 to #32 - thelonelypotato (08/16/2015) [-]
Naw it stands for Honestly we're Retarded, at least it did in my old workplace.
Reply
0
User avatar #59 to #50 - thefates (08/16/2015) [-]
Why not just say, "Honestly Retarded"? At least that would fit the anagram.
Reply
+4
#24 - Elk (08/16/2015) [-]
**Elk used "*roll picture*"**
**Elk rolled image** lololololol le funny xD
Reply
+5
#30 to #24 - zerotzallander (08/16/2015) [-]
IKR!!!!1!11ONE1
Reply
+2
#96 - DekuNut (08/16/2015) [-]
wow. stupid bitch.
Reply
+1
#114 - leown (08/16/2015) [-]
HI BILLY MAYS HERE TO TELL YOU TO WAIT! THERES MORE!
Reply
+1
#115 to #114 - leown (08/16/2015) [-]
AND THATS NOT ALL
Reply
+1
#116 to #115 - leown (08/16/2015) [-]
AND DONT FORGET TO LET OP KNOW HES A FAGGOT FOR NOT POSTING IT ALL D
Reply
0
#117 to #116 - basichaharemix (08/16/2015) [-]
Wish I could find a freak ho like that in my life.
Reply
+1
User avatar #107 - technoshaman (08/16/2015) [-]
I know we all love to see crazy exes get BTFO but these are just way to easy to fake.
Reply
+1
#109 to #107 - anon (08/16/2015) [-]
dude something like this has happened to me. not all of them are fake
Reply
0
User avatar #111 to #109 - technoshaman (08/16/2015) [-]
I know, I had a legitimately mentally/emotionally unstable girlfriend once. Last time I saw her she tried to cut my throat. I know **** like this can happen, but look at the format and tell me it wouldn't be easy to fake and rake in those sweet internet points.
Reply
+1
#103 - steelchain (08/16/2015) [-]
**steelchain used "*roll picture*"**
**steelchain rolled image**
Reply
+1
#28 - anon (08/16/2015) [-]
Fake/10.
Give up.
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