What a Twist. . git the ONION“ America' s Finest News Source SPORTS BUSINESS SCIENC EOTECH BREAKING FANTASY FOOTBALL Local Teen Walks In On Family Masturbating

What a Twist

git the ONION“
America' s Finest News Source
SPORTS BUSINESS SCIENC EOTECH BREAKING FANTASY FOOTBALL
Local Teen Walks In On Family Masturbating
NEWS IN BRIEF ' Family- Local ' Sex- ISSUE 4945* Nov T, 2013
SALEM, a humiliating incident that all parties involved said they would
never get over," Peter Mildewing, 15, confirmed he came home from school
early Monday and accidentally walked in on seven members of his family
masturbating in the living room. "Aaight Get out of here, goddamnitt" shouted
Peter' s parents, David and Jessica; his sister, Virginia; his older brother,
Caleb; and his grandmother Emily, while his younger brother, Mark, and his
aunt Fay reportedly scrambled to turn off the pornographic video they had
been watching. "Why the hell don' t you knock?" Sources said that after leaving
the room, Peter sighed, concluded his family members were simply at those
ages, and decided never to discuss the incident with them. tit
AV. CLUB
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Submitted: 11/18/2013
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User avatar #11 - pappathethird (11/19/2013) [+] (3 replies)
I know that feel. I walked in on my roommate the other day while I was masturbating
User avatar #25 - infinitereaper (11/19/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Don't you just hate it when you're not invited to the family masturbation time?
#12 - pappathethird (11/19/2013) [+] (8 replies)
Comment Picture
User avatar #9 - mrhazzy ONLINE (11/19/2013) [+] (5 replies)
I don't know what worse.

The fact that he was left out, or the fact that his family are ******* weird.
#59 - toastandbananas (11/19/2013) [-]
**** yeah the onion is amazing
pic related
User avatar #27 - ScaredWhiteBoy (11/19/2013) [-]
I read this and I was like, "why am I not masturbating right now"? Welp so long fellas, off to **** .
#5 - psychoticcaleb ONLINE (11/19/2013) [-]
Well this is awkward
Well this is awkward
#46 - oxYKellark (11/19/2013) [-]
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#36 - oodlesandoodles (11/19/2013) [-]
There aren't a whole lot of things I'd kill myself over, but this...I'd swallow every pill in the pharmacy after this
There aren't a whole lot of things I'd kill myself over, but this...I'd swallow every pill in the pharmacy after this
#20 - Silver Quantum (11/19/2013) [+] (1 reply)
>don't discuss it with family
>discuss it with the rest of the world instead
#21 to #20 - eddymolly (11/19/2013) [-]
The Onion
The Onion
#41 - jibb (11/19/2013) [-]
>their face when
#49 - vinaigrette (11/19/2013) [+] (7 replies)
It's pretty hard to walk in on your entire family masturbating but eventually, everybody comes.
#22 - antigravitycake (11/19/2013) [+] (3 replies)
Comment Picture
#76 - ridivey (11/19/2013) [-]
"his grandma"
#50 - addmind (11/19/2013) [+] (9 replies)
how the hell is this news?! I swear the media keeps getting worse
User avatar #54 to #50 - spidermanthred (11/19/2013) [-]
its fake news its the onion for christsake
#3 - areialview (11/19/2013) [+] (6 replies)
MFW the state I live in is mentioned.   
 I hardly ever see Oregon mentioned anywhere on the internet
MFW the state I live in is mentioned.
I hardly ever see Oregon mentioned anywhere on the internet
#40 - edgecutter ONLINE (11/19/2013) [-]
#24 - sevasevol (11/19/2013) [-]
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