Hello, and Welcome to the Mental Health Hotline:
ifyou are , press 1 repeatedly.
if you are overdependent, please ask someone to press it for you-
Hg have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, s and E.
ifyou are paranoid, we know who you are and what you went. Stay
on the line so we can trace your call.
if you are delusional, press I and your call will be transferred to the
if you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a smell voice will tell
you which number to press.
if you are , it doesn' t matter which number you
press - no one will answer.
ffyou are dyslexic, press .
if you have a nervous disorder, please Eden with the hash key until
a representative comes on line.
if you have amnesia press I and state your name, address, phone
number, date of birth, social security number and your mother' s
ifyou have stress disorder, slowly and carefully press
teat have disorder, please have a message after the beep
or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
if you have shirtstorm memory loss, press in if you have shirtstorm
memory loss, press s. If you have shirtstorm memory loss, press s. If
you have shirtstorm memory loss, press s.
if you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are
too busy to talk to you.