Weeaboo Stories: Assgate. I'm not very good at telling stories, so I apologise for the quality. I can't accurately convey just how awkward and unpleasant this s
Home Original Content Funny Pictures Funny GIFs YouTube Funny Text Funny Movies Channels Search

hide menu

Weeaboo Stories: Assgate

I'm not very good at telling stories, so I apologise for the quality. I can't accurately convey just how awkward and unpleasant this scene must have been. Just imagine your average neckbeard autist, who's female, and who thinks she looks like Scarlett Johansson, molesting your average attractive young chap.

Assgots was a story told to me by one of my friends, who was
there when it happened. This isn’ t in relation to her anime
obsessed antics, but more cringeworthy tale of social faux pas.
Myself and my Uni social group were down the pub, enjoying
the last social event of the academic year. Being a little
strapped for cash and not wanting to get a taxi back, my Best
Mate and I left early, leaving most of my mates behind, and the
Weeaboo. Who Pm going to start calling The Gob, because her
weeaboo traits are only one of the things that are really
annoying.
The next morning, I was greeted by a text from my friend, who
we' ll call Alice, begging me to phone her when I got the
message. I did, and was told a story that still makes me want to
puke.
The Gob had been drinking a lot. She doesn’ t know how to
handle her drink whatsoever, despite three years at university
and much "practice". She tends to copy a lot of what I do (for
reasons Pl! never know) and that includes trying to follow me
regardless of the fact I have rather a tolerance
for booze. She' d already embarrassed herself by walking up on
stage while the new committee candidates were giving their
speeches (we do our elections at the pub, bite me) and
throwing out her arms, looking at the audience, a **** eating
grin on her face as if to say "look at me, Pm phenomenal". She
was met with deafening silence and had the good grace to look
a little embarrassed.
Anyway.
She was ********* , and when The Gob gets ********* , she gets
horny. It' s not a pretty sight to see.
There was a guy there, who hadn' t come to our society before
It’ s a music one). And was visiting a mate, who happens to be
female.
Whenever this poor cunt tried to talk to his mate, or any other
female in the room, for that matter, she was rubbing up against
his hip, putting her arm round him and slithering about,
believing, I imagine, that she looked like one of those slinky
beautiful women you see in adverts. He didn' t know where to
look.
Then she began insisting that she has a nice arse.
Grab it! Go on, have a feel, it' s amazing!” She was turning
around and grabbing handfuls of her own cheeks, woefully
dressed in too short shorts that only just managed to squeeze
her fat in. She virtually backed this lad into a corner, insisting
that he grab her bum, all the while flicking her hair about and
trying to squeeze nonresistant tits together. Apparently Alice
tried to save him by taking one for the team and grabbing the
of doom herself, but to no avail. The Gob simply
used it as a reason for a hot young man to touch her arse.
She' s done it now! Have a go!”
He made his excuses and went to the loo, most likely to throw
Eventually, the time came to catch the last train, or get a taxi.
The chap made the mistake of mentioning to Gob he was
getting a train, and she insisted that she' d wait with him.
We' not heard from him since.
...
+768
Views: 46712
Favorited: 88
Submitted: 07/22/2014
Share On Facebook
Add to favorites Subscribe to BerryLicious E-mail to friend submit to reddit
Share image on facebook Share on StumbleUpon Share on Tumblr Share on Pinterest Share on Google Plus E-mail to friend

Comments(100):

[ 100 comments ]

Show All Replies Show Shortcuts
Show:   Top Rated Controversial Best Lowest Rated Newest Per page:
Order:
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#61 - BerryLicious (07/23/2014) [+] (4 replies)
stickied by BerryLicious
#1 - weirdname (07/22/2014) [-]
I can just imagine the poor guy's face when the ass of lard was presented to him, pic related. You're doing a good job, keep it up!
#3 - xxidontbelievexx (07/22/2014) [+] (3 replies)
I'll never understand why people don't just wear what fits instead of trying to squeeze into things that obviously don't. Hope you keep providing these stories since they already sound so entertaining
#39 - kurokoda (07/23/2014) [-]
To whoever she is:
User avatar #7 - obidomkenobi ONLINE (07/22/2014) [+] (9 replies)
As a man who suffers a lot of pain because of my knee not working anymore (almost impossible to walk) and people being cunts, I have very little patience anymore for people like this. I'd have just bounced a pint glass off her head.
User avatar #15 to #14 - obidomkenobi ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
Well keep hanging out with her, because I want the last story to end with "And then she was bald."

Also, keep posting.
#5 - ldnelson (07/22/2014) [-]
Call the Coast Guard. They're trained to rescue men attacked by whales
#22 - arreatface (07/22/2014) [-]
Thumbd up, this is nice OC.

but please next time not in purple, it hurted my eyes
#50 - gux ONLINE (07/23/2014) [-]
Another innocent lost to the disgusting landwhales R.I.P you stupid bastard
Another innocent lost to the disgusting landwhales R.I.P you stupid bastard
#25 - endospore (07/23/2014) [+] (14 replies)
I like fat girls better. Not trying to white knight, it's just a taste thing, like small vs. big breasts. I know it's an uncommon opinion and the girls I like aren't considered attractive if that makes it better.
#86 - Byte (07/23/2014) [-]
For the love of god try to find the poor lad and take him out for a much needed beer. Or better yet, hook him up with a decent woman.

No one deserves to get whale washed.
#18 - cownicorn (07/22/2014) [+] (1 reply)
How did you meet her and why did you hang out with her?
or she stalked you? great story btw
#16 - kakariko (07/22/2014) [+] (1 reply)
I thought I was ready for this.   
But I was not.   
Mainly because it reminds me of one of my college classmates... she turns everything into an anime topic.   
And regularly uses weeaboo phrases...   
Desu.   
Kawaii.   
Sugoi.
I thought I was ready for this.
But I was not.
Mainly because it reminds me of one of my college classmates... she turns everything into an anime topic.
And regularly uses weeaboo phrases...
Desu.
Kawaii.
Sugoi.
#12 - ParadiseTroll (07/22/2014) [-]
That was disgusting, but I must read moar stories.
#4 - fatalhermit (07/22/2014) [-]
THE ARSE DEVOURED HIM
#2 - thedragonmaster (07/22/2014) [-]
I sure hope that poor lad is ok. You are doing a wonderful job, please keep the stories coming!
User avatar #57 - frankwest (07/23/2014) [+] (5 replies)
In situations such as these, the only true escape is to kiss another man. And hope she isn't into Yaoi.
User avatar #24 - wearethemods (07/23/2014) [-]
**** I love these stories. OP, please post more.
#9 - ANONpirate ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
......... but i kind of want more....
User avatar #6 - theavatar (07/22/2014) [-]
Im sorry to be glad about this but im gld america isnt they only placed cured with weebaboos
[ 100 comments ]
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)