Weaboo Stories: Gob Gets Laid. I felt a bit sorry for her in this instance. But I guess if you're an obnoxious prat who thinks they're clever and cool and funny
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Weaboo Stories: Gob Gets Laid

I felt a bit sorry for her in this instance. But I guess if you're an obnoxious prat who thinks they're clever and cool and funny when in reality they are the opitamy of douchebaggery, you're not going to hold down a decent relationship.
MOAR
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Believe it or not, this sorry excuse for a human
actually managed to bed a bloke. A real one. And,
even more shockingly, this bloke was quite a catch.
He was reasonably attractive, clever, and funny.
When she gave us the news we could hardly believe it.
We didn' t really, we thought it was another one of her
******** tales. But it was true. My jaw hit the floor.
And you know what? I was happy for her. She clearly
liked this guy and he seemed decent.
It didn' t last more than a month and a half.
Before they got together, this chap, (let' s call him
Jay) had just been dumped in a rather spectacular
fashion by his last girlfriend. I don' t know the details
but I think it was something along the lines of he
found her in his bed with another guy (they didn' t
live together) and she dumped him and carried on
banging the other.
Anyway, he came to visit Gob, because they' d
apparently known each other a while and,
understandably, he wanted to get away from his uni
for a few days.
Nothing happened that weekend, but they started
dating a few days after he went back. It was a
reasonably long distance thing, for students anyway.
She was texting him constantly, and would phone
him every evening and be on the phone for a
minimum of two hours. The only time he got a break
was when she was on the phone to her crazy mother.
Seeing as though he was at a pretty competative
place, he was working all the time. So answering
constant texts and messages from Gob couldn' t have
been easy, but I guess it took his mind off things. Pm
only speculating here, I don' t know for sure at this
point. But she talked about him all the goddamned
time. Jay thinks this and Jay thinks that and Jay
says Pm really good at dirty talk and I'
masturbated to him (And Pm going to have to stop
there, that was really hard to write and yes, she
honestly said that.) She was proud of that last fact, as
before she claimed that she' d never touched herself
before as she "didn' t see the point".
She went to visit him a couple of weeks later though,
for a few days. It was bliss in the house, so quiet and
tranquil. I could have a conversation without some
********* on the underwear of life butting in and
talking, talking, TALKING.
Anyway.
She came back and told us all about it. No details
were spared. I suffered.
So shall you.
So we were gonna go to this cinema and see a film
because he knows I like films, but we both got really
horny. I got all shy and stuff but he was really hot for
me, I guess it was because I kept touching his *giggle*
boner. And like he took off my top like really slowly
and undid his zipper and like apparently Pm really
good at giving blowjobs y’ know *Exit Best Mate, Stage
Right* and then he fingered me and it hurt a bit but it
was totally good, I was really wet right, and we had
like proper sex right there on his bed. I didn' t come
but he did. Then like I tried to get him to finger me
again but I think he was asleep so I used his hand
anyway."
That' s as much as I can stomach.
I could hear my Best Mate laughing like a donkey
upstairs, and I felt rather unwell, but I did the whole
congratulations, you got laid, now stop talking
about it" thing. She looked well chuffed with herself
and again, I was pleased for her. Until the one of my
other housemates came home and she went to relate
the story to him and I had to hear it again.
Like I said before, the relationship didn' t last.
According to Jay himself, she really, really
embarrassed him when she went to visit. It' s a well-
area filled with people who value social
etiquette, manners etc. He' s got a lot of friends of a
higher social class, as is he himself. Seeing as Gob is
common as muck with as much social awareness as a
blind poodle with poor bladder control, she straight
up humiliated him.
Funnily enough, he never invited her back.
He dumped her over the phone a few weeks later,
after he "came to his senses" (his words). She was
distracting him from his work continuously, and he
although he supposedly actually liked her, she was
just too unpleasant to be around. And she never shut
...
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Views: 60580 Favorited: 78 Submitted: 07/23/2014
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Comments(214):

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#23 - blastros (07/23/2014) [+] (12 replies)
stickied by BerryLicious
> "Then like I tried to get him to finger me again but I think he was asleep so I used his hand anyway"
> "Then like I tried to get him to finger me again but I think he was asleep so I used his hand anyway"
#191 - BerryLicious (07/24/2014) [+] (2 replies)
stickied by BerryLicious
User avatar #1 - nyctonightingale (07/23/2014) [+] (11 replies)
"I suffered.
So shall you."

Not going to lie, I genuinely slid back in my seat and clamped my hand over my mouth.
But these are freaking great, keep 'em coming if you have any more!

I just hope that there is one where your mate clocks her right in the side of the head or loses his temper on her.
#13 - tiles (07/23/2014) [+] (3 replies)
That was the most uncomfortable thing I've ever read.   
Please, continue.
That was the most uncomfortable thing I've ever read.
Please, continue.
#26 - hdcomics (07/23/2014) [-]
Goddamn. Even when getting laid, that bitch just doesn't shut up...
#36 - weirdname ONLINE (07/23/2014) [+] (2 replies)
The 						*******					 details she went into...
The ******* details she went into...
#54 - inuyuru (07/23/2014) [+] (1 reply)
>Lifting my shirt slowly

And on that day, humanity received a grim reminder.....
User avatar #44 - lumi (07/23/2014) [+] (12 replies)
OP, how fat is she honestly?
Like, in the overweight bmi range, or is she extremely obese?
Representative picture maybe?
#53 to #44 - BerryLicious (07/23/2014) [-]
Kinda like this but flabbier with larger thighs
#43 - chimichanganom (07/23/2014) [+] (1 reply)
When he came to his senses
When he came to his senses
#68 - xxidontbelievexx ONLINE (07/24/2014) [+] (7 replies)
This poor guy's hands..... IMAGINE THE SMELL
#90 - Epicgetguy (07/24/2014) [+] (5 replies)
>A walking hamplanet weeaboo with no social etiquette got laid before I did.

******* hell.
User avatar #28 - icollectraresbro (07/23/2014) [+] (2 replies)
So OP i heard shes leaving to japan. She will not last a day or two over there. Please post results of her returnal.
#29 to #28 - BerryLicious (07/23/2014) [-]
Will do.
#62 - cherrypoppin (07/23/2014) [+] (9 replies)
"So we're going to go to this cinema to see a film because he knows how much i love films"   
   
As opposed to people who dislike films? Jesus Christ..
"So we're going to go to this cinema to see a film because he knows how much i love films"

As opposed to people who dislike films? Jesus Christ..
#144 - daorien (07/24/2014) [+] (3 replies)
I don't know, her description of the act sounds like wishful thinking, I doubt it ever happened
User avatar #155 to #145 - daorien (07/24/2014) [-]
Well, I'm now much more horrified than before, thank you
#51 - ashedust (07/23/2014) [+] (1 reply)
What a sporting chap to have put up with this apparent wreck of a human being for as long as he did.   
   
I lost it at "I suffered. And so shall you."
What a sporting chap to have put up with this apparent wreck of a human being for as long as he did.

I lost it at "I suffered. And so shall you."
#27 - toguro ONLINE (07/23/2014) [-]
#16 - biscuitsunited (07/23/2014) [-]
that sex scene, urgh
that sex scene, urgh
#98 - tanstin (07/24/2014) [+] (5 replies)
What on earth..
What on earth..
#32 - keybladewarrior (07/23/2014) [-]
Before I read the details of a Discovery Channel-eque landwhale mating session, I had to prepare my penis for the worse. I like that. Keep up the work.
#30 - FluffyMuffin ONLINE (07/23/2014) [-]
<- jays face
<- jays face
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